Mushroom Wars: Aftermath
Ten years after The Mushroom Wars, a second
encounter with The Mushrooms took place. It started after The Mushrooms
came under the rule of Emperor Kaizso (they have to be ruled by someone,
right?) Kaizso was the Emperor of The Mushroom Zone, but he didn't
really seem up to the
task. He had won the throne by defeating other leaders using
the ancient art of Fungo (having a seizure and killing everyone around
you.) One of his first official duties was to appoint a cherry as
secretary of defense. He liked to be kept entertained, and his Grand
Courier, Thursdack, was always running stupid little errands for him.
"Bring me a half gallon of disappointment," said Kaizso one day.
"Mighty Kaizso," began Thursdack, "your awesome and all powerful request
unfortunately cannot be fulfilled at this moment, for disappointment does
not come in the measurement which you, in your all knowing sovereignty,
"Oh, right," replied Kaizso. "You're saying. . ."
"That disappointment doesn't come in half gallons."
"Oh. Well then," ordered Kaizso, "bring me, um, a metric ton
"Kaizso, oh mighty lord of all mushrooms, I reiterate that I cannot
execute your command, for, although it was powerful and mighty in every
way, disappointment cannot be measured."
"Oh. Fine. So -"
"- I can't get you any disappointment," said Thursdack wearily. Kaizso
was disappointed. He stood up from his great, kooshy, bean bag throne
and went into his Great Bedroom.
Thursdack patiently waited at the throne for Kaizso to come back.
He did, with a picture of an object that Thursdack had never seen before.
Kaizso said, "Can you bring me this, then?"
"Great Kaizso, although in a second I, Thursdack, son of Phridack,
Grand Courier of Kaizso. . ."
"Just a yes or no would be fine," broke in Kaizso.
"I don't know what it is."
"Well, find out."
Thursdack called a wise mushroom. He had no idea what it was,
so Thursdack zapped him. He called in another, who identified it.
"I have seen an object like this only once before in my life.
It is . . . a human pizza! From Earth!"
"Earth!" Exclaimed Thursdack.
"Earth?" Questioned Kaizso.
Thursdack sent the wise mushroom to his death. Then he told Kaizso:
"Great Kaizso, unfortunately-"
"Thursdack, just an answer. NOW!"
"Sir, I cannot get you a pizza because it is a human product from Earth."
"Yes, I heard. So what?"
"And Earth is in another dimension."
"So how do we know about it?"
"Great, mighty, wonderful Kaizso," began Thursdack, "let me tell you
a tale, a tale of -"
"SHUT UP!!!" yelled Kaizso.
"Yes, sir," squeaked Thursdack. "Before your reign, there was
a weird accident that sent some mushrooms to Earth. We sent soldiers
to bring them back, but soon we decided to take over Earth and kill all
the humans on Earth. Many portals were built and we went through
them to Earth. Soon we had defeated -"
"Great. So we just go through the portals and get a human pizza."
"There aren't any portals anymore."
"Then why can't we built another one?"
"Well, technically we can . . ."
"Then have one built immediately."
"But we were defeated by the inferior humans of Earth!"
"The inter-dimensional rules of war forbid -"
"Just do it. Or else . . ." Kaizso tapped the huge anti-
ray that had been passed down among mushroom rulers.
"Yes, oh mighty Kaizso. I shall construct for you the mightiest
Mushroom Portal that ever was or ever shall be, fitting for your mighty,
unlimited kingdom. Then I shall bring you the greatest human pizza
that any human has ever seen, for I, Thursdack, son of Phridack, exist
only to serve your mightiest of all mushroom dynasties."
Thursdack gathered up all of the scientists in The Mushroom Zone and ordered
them to build a portal to Earth. Of course since there was no portal
on Earth, a portal in The Mushroom Zone would be useless (this explained
on the portal page). Therefore, the scientists
had to first make a temporary link
to Earth to build a Mushroom Portal there. Cream of Mushroom Soup
was used, and the ocean in The Mushroom Zone was drained by at least four
feet with all of the soup used in experiments. The mushroom scientists
failed many times, and each time Thursdack shot half of them. Eventually,
only Q-Zat was left. He
succeeded and the link between The Mushroom Zone and our universe was re-formed.
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