"Two toes up."
-Bob

 "Three toes up."
-Fred

 "Yeah, well four toes up."
-Bob

 "Infinity toes up"
-Fred

 "Darn"
-Bob

 "Sorry sir, but as important as this 'Mushroom Zone' thing may be, other people need to use this computer before they decompose."
-Librarian telling Adam to get off the public computer.

 "I pitty the foo who'd look at this"
-Mr.T

 "Ya, und funny!"
-A drunken German.

 "You guys are a bunch of idiots."
-Some really really really evil person.

 "YAY! I LOVE MUSHROOMS!!! YEAH, MUSHROOMS! WHOOHOO!!!!"
-Some druggie who thought we were talking about those mushrooms.

 "Mutant mushrooms trying to take over the world, eh? Do you hear voices too?"
-Mike's therapist.

 "I did not have sexual relations with that mushroom."
-Bill Clinton

 "Let me put it this way. In terms of funny vis-a-vis Mushrooms qua Mushrooms, they are comical, so to speak, but they do not have the funniness of the human beings per se, as it were. Q.E.D."
-A really smart nerd guy.