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Welcome to Ericson's Online Second and First Hand Rejected Weapon Store

This is the world's largest rejected weapon store! Here you can buy or lease any type of rejected weapon that was once used by Mushroom Destroyers, Ltd. We are pretty darned sure that these are the lowest prices for these weapons available anywhere! And they're even cheaper with your government employee discount card. Don't have a government employee discount card? We'll forge one for you! Don't like forgeries? Too bad! Here is a list of some of our most popular weapons and their prices:

 

 

 
Pictures Name 
Danger Level 
Price  Description  In Stock 
  Vac-o-Matic 
100
$209,978,299.99  Sucks up anything 100 miles from it. Then it blows up.  Yes, 500 
  Scribble-o-Matic 

  

2
$200.00  Can scribble people beyond recognition.  Yes, 1,875,987 
  Long-Ray 

  

2
$300.00  A useless chunk of metal and a waste of time, and money. Don't run with it or you might poke out your eye.  No 
  Golden Gate Bridge-o-Matic 
3
$800,000.00  Looks nice. Turns stuff into bridges. A great deal!  Yes, 3 
  Squiggle-o-Matic 
2
$200.00  Same as Scribble-o-Matic, only more pointless. Only works on paper.  Yes, 1,875,987 
  No-o-Matic 

  

  

10
$144.01  Makes people respond "No"  No, No, No 
  Raisin Bread-o-Matic 
-11
FREE!!!!  Makes raisin bread. Duh.  No 
  Matic-o-Matic 
N/A
$14.00  Just sorta sits there. Makes a great paperweight.  No 
  Tofu-o-Matic 
-8
$0.14  Has no taste. Really nutritious.  Yes, 2,578,573,274,979 
  Short-Ray 
2 
FREE!!!!  Made of titanium! If you throw it at someone, you could hurt them. No 
  Static-o-Matic 
1
$2.00  You get the same effect if you walk across a carpet and touch metal.  No 
  Milk-o-Matic 
0
$0.25  Got Milk-o-Matic?  No 
  Gym Sock-o-Matic 
101
$563,772,364.99  Instant death.  Yes, 100,000 
  Blob-o-Matic 
4
$777,777,777.77  Turns things into blobs. Do not point at defenseless creatures (or humans).  Yes, 55 
  Hat-o-Matic 
1
$44.00  Forgot your hat? This amazing contraption can help!  Yes, 668 
Mold-o-Matic 
1
$444.99  Makes Mold.  No* 
  Inviso-Ray 
 
     
  Skyscraper-o-Matic 
6
$23,433,545,645.00  Builds really tall skyscrapers. Large underground parking lot. Bomb detectors included.  Yes, 45,788 
  Star-o-Matic 
5
$333,456,687.98  This incredible thingy blasts out stars! Caution: DO NOT POINT AT FACE!!  No*** 
  Record-o-Matic 
2
$877.88  Shoots out records. Has broken all records shooting records.  Sold Out * and Discontinued 
  Pig-o-Matic 
3
$668,898.99  Hungry? Why wait for slow fast food. Get a Pig-o-Matic and pig out! Makes the fattiest bacon on Earth.  No ** 
  Sheep-o-Matic 
2
$77,776,968,887,645.65  Forget Dolly. This device has a better chance of working, and it operates at lightning speed. (In case you haven't realized it yet, this thing clones sheep.)  Yes, (too many to count) 
  Sojourner-o-Matic 
1
$18,876,975.15  This thing is great for long walks on Mars. Comes with insulation for those frigid Martian nights.  Yes, 876 
  Nose-o-Matic  This entry removed as part of the Trade-a-Rejected Weapon program. It is now on display at The Smithsonian Institute. 
  Cream Pie-o-Matic 
5
$567.99  Make a clown you know happy. Zap him with a Cream Pie-o-Matic! Optionally heat and clown seeking for hard to reach clowns.  No, *, ** 
  Quasi-Ray 
200
$86,435.85  They're kinda here but kinda not.  Maybe, 1/2.*** 
  Magi Tube 
92
$39,999,464.88  Magic, in a tube! Buy it now! Eat your heart out Veg-o-Matic. This thing does it all! Including slicing and dicing. Even makes curly fries! (But what does this have to do with weapons?)  No ** 
  Disgruntled Postal Worker-Ray 
30,999
$876,876,777.85  Guess.  No * 
* Stolen by unidentified men in masks with mail bags.
** Mysteriously disappeared and later found in Pierre's kitchen.
*** Smith is playing testing them.

 


A letter from Ericson

 

  Dear Buyer,

The weapons that have ni" "no" next to it will be in stock soon. I promise thatt that this promise will be met, or you get nothing foer for free!!!! (How 'bout thaT/ that ?) Below thids this type writter lrtter letter is the ordre order from.

form.

 

Sinserly, Sincerely,

Peter Ericson

 

P.S. I scanned my lettr letter into the computer onrt onto the web page!!! (in case you wantd wanted to know)



Fill out this form and mail to:

Mushroom Destroyers, Ltd.
462748722 BobNFred Drive
Frying Pan Landing,CD 95628

I want this:_______________                        I am:________________

I am willing to pay: $________________.__                I am:     Rich__        Not Rich__


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