Thanks to Dr. John Kostuik and all the staff at Johns Hopkins Hospital for changing my life, for the better!
Third Surgery
In the
Summer of 1996, I went to see Dr. Brown again, after years of no
longer having the yearly check-ups.
I can't remember exactly, but I think it was when I was 18 that he
told me I didn't have to keep going to see him for my
annual check-up anymore. In the summer of '96, I was 23
years old, and had been experiencing more and more back
pain for at least a few months. Earlier that year, I realised
that my back was getting more crooked and that my clothes weren't
fitting me the same way. I was horrified at the thought that
my back could be getting worst, and told myself it was only my paranoid
imagination. But by that summer, it was clear to my friends and family
that there was a marked change in my
posture, and that I needed to see my specialist.
I'll never forget that appointment. I drove to Halifax with my roomate
Jackie, because I wasn't used to driving in the
city without my boyfriend helping with directions. 'Said boyfriend
wasn't around because he had left the country. He'd
broken my heart by moving in with one of his ex-girlfriends in Los
Angeles, Cali-fucking-fornia (I'm not bitter, hehe).
The emotional problems tied to that failing relationship compounded
the situation, but I don't want to get into that on this
site. Now, Jackie and I were not very close, and she knew little
about my back. Suffice it to say, I did not feel I had much
of a support network to help me cope. Seeing that specialist
again was painful enough. I wasn't all that fond of him, and actually
blamed him for my back problems. Part of me always believed that
if he had thought to put in longer rods in my
1st surgery, that I would not have required a 2nd surgery, and that
my back would be less crooked. Add to that the fact
that Dr. Brown had a notoriously cold demeanour, and the bedside
manner of a troll. But I digress..
I noticed
right away at my appointment with him, that he was changed..he smiled more,
and was an awful lot
friendlier than I had remembered him to be. I'll never
forget what happened though, once he had the x-rays in front of him
and the actual appointment began. He told me I'd best be sitting
down to hear what he had to tell me. My memory is fuzzy,
but I swear he was teary-eyed when he told me the 'news'. He
told me the last thing I wanted to hear: my rods were broken.
Needless
to say, I was devastated. Absolutely shattered. I started to
cry, of course, and I have to say he seemed
a bit choked-up himself. He told me that all these years, he
had thought of me, regretting the way the 1st surgery went,
wishing he could have known to make the rods longer, and feeling sorry
for what I had been through. He said something
about how, in a surgeon's career, there's always that one case that
stands out, that you wish you could have done
differently..and he said, for him, that was me. It was a shock
to hear these words coming from someone who had been
so distant and cold before. I started to see him as a real person,
with feelings--but anyway, he told me that my rods had
somehow broken, and that he could not tell when or how it happened.
He said I had to have surgery, there was no
choice, but that it would be a risky operation that he wasn't qualified
to perform. Nor was anyone he could think of....
in all of Canada. *sigh* Not very encouraging words for me to
hear at the time! He did say he would look into it, try to
find me a surgeon who could perform the surgery.
Some time later, he informed me that he had found a surgeon who could perform
the surgery. It was Dr. Kostuik,
whom he had worked with in Ontario years ago, but who now worked at
the Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore.
I recognized the hospital's name, I knew it was one of the best in
the world. I flew to the US for my 1st consultation in October,
1996. I went with my mother and my ex-boyfriend. How did that
happen? Well, like I said he had moved to
Los Angeles, and things between us were hostile. There
was no contact from him while he was gone, nor did I expect to
hear from him again. But in October, his mother called me and
told me she was worried about him, had been talking to
him and he was very homesick. She said he told her the last time
they spoke on the phone that he missed me and that he wanted to come home.
I forget how it happened, I think I told her that she could tell him to
call me, since I had no way
of contacting him. He mustv'e called me, we talked a long time..he
said he missed me very much. I told him about my
back, and how I had a consultation at the end of the month in the US.
You see, when we were dating, he had promised
me that he would be there for me if I ever had another back operation,
no matter when or where it was. He believed there
might be some kind of technology available to help straighten my back,
I wasn't that optimistic. Nevertheless, the promise was made, and
he took it so seriously that he came back here from California to be with
me during my consultation with Dr. Kostuik. He almost didn't make
it here on time though! There was little time between the day he left L.A.,
and the day we had to be in Baltimore for the consultation.
The consultation was on an auspicious day: October 31st.
I believed it to be a good omen. Good thing I had him with
me on the way to Maryland, as I am terrified of flying (it's not the flying
that scares me so much as the crashing). Holding hands all the way
there on the plane, I knew in my heart that he had returned for good.
Ironic, the thing that brought us back together was the one thing which
had ruined my life..my scoliosis. It was then that I started viewing
my back in a different light. Maybe it hadn't ruined my life...but
read on, you'll see how true that is, for since 1996, my life has been
getting better all the time and my dreams are becoming reality faster than
you can say "make a wish". And if my scoliosis had a name, and a
face, I would tell it thank you.
