Here's an update on what's new in my life, just in case you are wondering why

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                            Here's the deal:  For the first time in my life, I actually have a life.  No seriously, it's the first time
                that my life is full enough that I don't have time to surf the net, chat on IRC, or work on my sites! It's incredible!
                So many things have changed since my surgery (that's the 3rd and last one I had almost 3 years ago...will be 3
                years ago on Feb. 11, '00).  I knew, after that surgery, that I was a new person.  I knew it had
                a profound impact on me both physically and emotionally, but I had no idea the chain of events that would
                follow.
 
                             These events led me to the point at which I find myself today.  In a moment I will fill you in, but what I
                want to stress right now is that I find myself finally at the end of that proverbial rainbow, in view of that supposedly
                unattainable pot of gold.  I stand at the threshold of my dreams.  And I am here to shout out from the rooftops
                that YES YOU CAN DO IT! HOLD FAST YOUR DREAMS! Because, as I am living proof, dreams *do*
                come true.

                            Three years ago, I underwent a life-threatening operation with risks such as paralysis..my recovery was
                long, painful, and difficult.  As a result of the surgery, I was forced to put my studies on hold and was unable to
                hold down a job.  I was forced to apply for social assistance and have been receiving monthly "disability checks"
                from them for the last 3 years.  I also had to apply for a "handicap parking permit" for my vehicle.  Add to this the
                fact that I had to wear a thick brace for 8 months after the surgery, making it hard to maintain a normal social life to
                say the least.  For the last 3 years, I have been living under the label of 'handicapped person'.  It is not easy to
                believe you will ever attain your goals and ambitions when you suddenly become 'handicap' and unable to work or
                attend university for a year or more.   And as I am about to explain, the surgery wasn't the only challenge in my life
                at the time.  I'm not even going to get into the relationship problems I was having 3 years ago and the severe
                depression which ensued.   Suffice it to say, I hit rock bottom.  Damn it all, I climbed my way out and I'm finally
                seeing the sun again!

                            At about the same time I had that surgery, I was notified by the university I was attending, that I had been
                suspended due to my quickly decreasing grade point average.  So much for finishing my Bachelor of Arts degree!
                So much for my academic ambitions.  It  was quite a blow.  I had to take the year off after the surgery anyway, but
                at that point I doubted I'd ever want to go back to my studies.   For the two years before the surgery, I had been
                getting back pain and wasn't aware that my rods were broken.  I let myself become depressed over my rapidly
                worsening posture, and soon it stated to affect my grades.  I went from a model student to a string of 'f's and
                a bad habit of skipping class.  Add to this the growing pressure from my parents, who didn't understand why I was
                behaving that way and who took it out on me in rather hostile measures.

                            In the summer of 1998, I decided to take one course at the university to see if I could handle it.  They let me
                take the course under the condition that if I did well I would be able to return to university for Fall term that
                September, as a "disabled student".  Well, that course was hard!  I had been out of classes for so long, and I also
                had to cope with the pain and strain on my back muscles.  Some days I wanted to give up.  But I pulled through,
               and got a B+!  So in the Fall, I enrolled as a full-time disabled student, which means I could take 1/2 the required
                courseload of a regular student.  It was a big challenge, but thanks to my supportive boyfriend who never let me
                give up, I made it, and got high marks again! Same thing for the Jan. '99 term, got high marks again.  In all, I got
                nearly all straight A's!  I financed that year with a government student loan, and a part-time job!  Yes, I actually
                got a job! It was through the Student Union at the university, and was just casual part-time, just right for me.  I got
                used to being in the work place again and it helped my self-esteem immensely.  Of course, at first I was scared that
                I couldn't handle a job and my courses, but I kept telling myself, "You're never going to get anywhere if you always
                stay at the same place".  You always have to push yourself that much further or you will not improve.

                            Since I did so well in my 1998/99 year, it became likely that I would indeed complete my degree.  It's just
                that it would take me twice as long!  Not very encouraging at first.  Who wants to take 8 years to do a simple 4-yr
                B.A.?  *sigh*  At any rate, it was very exciting to be on my way to that diploma, no matter how long it took! What
                degree is it?  Well, it is a Bachelor of Arts with Major in French and a double Minor (Psych. and English).  It's
                funny the only reason I now have a double minor is that I've taken so long to complete my degree..I've managed to
                rack up plenty of extra courses in the process.   During that academic year, my professors started to noctice the
               change in me..suddenly I was attending class, doing homework, and acing exams!  The Head of the French
               department laid out what courses I had left to take in order to graduate.  It would mean taking Spring and Summer
               courses if I I wanted to graduate in Oct. '99.  So, in the Spring and Summer of '99, I took up the challenge again..
               and yes, I got A's.  If you are surprised, imagine how I felt!  This was while keeping my part-time job through the
               summer, mind you, not an easy task!  Graduation was finally at hand, just a few months away!

                            After doing well in those Spring/Summer courses, I had to make a big decision.  I now had enough courses
                to graduate with my BA in October of 1999.  BUT, the Head of French explained that I could choose to do one
                more year, including a thesis, if I wanted to graduate in May 2000 with a BA Honours.  I would have to maintain
                A's and complete an Honours thesis, but if I intended to pursue a Masters one day, I'd have to get my Honours.  I
                was SO close to finally graduating, after all I'd been through!! But, with ambition and hope in my eyes, I turned
                down the option to graduate with a BA, and I enrolled in Sept. '99 as a BA Honours student.   I was terrified that
                this was a huge mistake.  What if I couldn't handle doing a thesis?  What if I got low marks?  Aaargh!  And to make
                it worse, I decided I wanted to be a true "model" student, prove myself in every way possible..so I got a job as a
                Teacher's Assistant for the 99/00 terms, for one of the French profs who is also my thesis advisor (hey, if anyone
                ever had anything to prove, it was me).

                            Courses in the Sept. - Dec. '99 term went well and I got A's.   My T.A. job went well and I even did some
                volunteer tutoring once a week in the French department.  My thesis also went well, alot of research involved, and
                I also got a research grant from the university to fund my research costs!  Incredible.  As for my job at the Student
                Union,  it was taking up too much of my time, so I quit in December.  I left there after 1 year and with 2 of the most
                awesome reference letters I have ever gotten from any employer.  I proved I could hold down a job and do it well.
                Of course, in the span of a year, that job made me less than $1000, but I wasn't in it for the money, as I am sure
                you can ascertain.  May have gotten little money out of it, but I learned new skills and have renewed confidence in
                myself.

                            In all my years at university, even during the beginning when I had high marks, not once did I receive a
                bursary or scholarship.  It was especially disturbing  to me because of  my younger brother, who started at the
                same university 2 years after I did, and of course beat me to graduation.  He went through his BA as a Dean's List
                Scholar, racking up the scholarships each year.  He graduated top of his class and winning numerous awards.
                You can just imagine how this went over with my parents.."Why can't you be smart like your brother?", etc.
                Well, my turn finally came, so to speak.  In December, 1999, I received my first and only scholarship, through the
                French department.  I tell you, I was so thrilled I could have thrown a party! But there is something important
                about this story.  The reason I could not get a scholarship, at least since my surgery, was because I was taking
                less than a full course load.  So the university makes no allowances for disabled students!  The Head of French
                informed me that I was getting this scholarship as an exception to the rule, due to my obvious improvement and the
                fact I had overcome the obstacles to become a successful student.  I was a good feeling to see that they recognized
                my 'success' enough to break with the rules.  They set a precedent and are now revising the policy so that
                disabled students will be eligible for scholarships in the future!  Hooray!

                            Each year, the university sends 3 of its graduating French majors to teach English in France.  It's part of an
                exhange program.  Things were going so well last term that I decided what the hell, I'll apply for that job overseas.
                I didn't think I'd get chosen, but as it turns out, I did get selected.  There was an interview process where each appl-
                icant had to do a presentation before the whole French dept. faculty.  Not only did I get chosen, but I got picked
                for the top spot, the one I most wanted out of the 3.  I will be teaching at the University of Poitiers for 1 year.  The
                term "dream come true" doesn't even begin to describe it.  "Miracle" somehow seems more appropriate!  I will
                be leaving at the end of August, 2000.  And of course, this May I will be graduating, with BA Honours.   My thesis
                advisor owns his own publishing company and has already said he would love to help me turn my thesis into my first
                book.  I've also, just today, mailed in my application form to enter a Masters in French program at another
                university.  They have an arragement with U of Poitiers so that I can take 1 class a term there and it will be credited
                towards my Masters.  It's a 1-year Masters program that can take 2 depending on how long you take for your
                thesis.  After which, I intend to begin my PhD in French at the same university, with goals to become a French
                Professor at the university where I am now.

                            *Deep breath*  There you have it, living proof that dreams can and do come true.  And I didn't even get to
                mentioning my wonderful boyfriend, our first house, and our adorable bundle-of-joy (no, not a baby, but a
                purebred Border Collie!).   All I can say is, don't ever listen to those who will tell you reasons why you "can't".
                They are liars!  You know you can, so go ahead and do it!  :-)

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