Pub guide

THE VARSITY: In the late 70's this was the most notorious boozer in the West Midlands... The George Hotel. It's bar was frequented by Paddy's, bums and general low-lifers from all over town! Even me old man (RIP) used to frequent here. And you name it, it happened in this den of eniquity. However it was the best pub I have yet to come across in 26 years of drinking. The fucking laughs, sights and experiences I have had/seen in here was enough to write a book about. At the time of my first look in, I was a young naive 15 year old PUNK ROCKER mixing with lunatics nutcases and some genuine ccharacter. For the next 3 or 4 years I had some of the best fun I've ever had or ever will have in my entire fucking life. It was that much of an inspiration I even wrote a song about the pub 'Meet Me In The George Bar' which was a big hit in the TORCHA SHED set. The George was a proper pub in every sense of the word. A dog-rough bar and lounge full of lunatics and characters. lt was used by the most notorious gang of drunken thugs this town has set eyes on. Football gangs came from all over the country just to take this pub. It was a no-go area to Students, courting couples, Hells Angels and any other mobs who fancied their chaces. But was open to anyone with a sense of fun. In fact anyone who had an ounce of normality about em was probably a long way away from this fucking mad-house.

However that was in the 70's and time has now caught up with it. The pub has now been renovated completely, all the real people have been barred and outpriced. lt is now a safe Student pub full of local University residents and expensive beer. They have a fucking comedy club upstairs, but if you want real laffs deaf this pub out! (P.D.C.) The clientele are students/youths does food, and a happy hour? The beer is very dear but the range and taste are good. (Cyril)

THE HOGS HEAD - Across the road from thew Varsity . Used to be the Vine which was a great seedy bar, now it's just a fucking office party venue for the bored and not very much fun at all.

THE ROYAL LONDON - Also situated across the road from The Varsity. Massive student hangout with pool tables and those chill out leather settees. The massive windows beg for a stool! Has a Tuesday 'happy hour' I believe but I ain't been in here for ages....always looks empty?

THE TUBE: Another trendy/student incorporated pub dating back to the 1880's. Can't give you a proper review as I'm barred when I had words with the boss one day. Yet again another pub in it's neon signed cold modern decor that has a dodgy past. lt's new found customers would have left their drinks standing and avoided it like the plague if they knew what once went on within it's once seedy walls. For this pub was formerly known as 'The Greyhound' which meant Ultra-Violence Incorporated during the late 70's/early 80's. The Greyhound just missed "The George's' reputation by inches. lt was full of gangsters, middle-aged blokes not kids but fucking dangerous cunts. lt was a no-go area but funnily enough home to the early 80's 'Wolverhampton Punx' as we were called. We got the odd scare in there off the drunken gangsters, but most of the time they left us alone. Anyone who, wanted to keep their features intact avoided this place. It now comes with hollow stares and demeaning attitude by some doormen/staff which safely reassures us that if push come to shove, we would be out on our ear. This is the kind of bar where it's alright to take a bird if your one of lifes trendy set on a Friday and Saturday night, Serves till 1 or 2 in the morning.(P.D.C) Loads of Students. Does food, games machines, and doorstaff only on weekend's. The beer prices are expensive (Cyril)

ROTHWELLS: A poseur incorporated set-up no PUNK on God's green earth has got any chance of being served in here on a weekend, and it has absolutely nothing to offer real people like drunks, crirninals, shoplifters and low Iifers. Good atmosphere for England matches but which pub ain't?, and one of the Wolves hooligan pubs on match days. Avoid unless your options are down to a bare minimum (P.D. C.) Can't give you any tips as I haven't got past the Rottweilers. (Cyril)

TAP & SPILE: -An olde world kinda pub but is alright coz it ain't got no nutters to speak of apart from Sue the scarfaced barmaid. So if you wanna escape the rat race go in here for a quiet pint or 2 and also good if your knocking off someone else's wife as it has out of the way booths in the back. Gets packed fast on a match day.lf your a C.A.M.E.R.A drinker you'll be in your element. lt is situated next door to a betting office and runs alongside £10,000 grand alley' (ask Keiron 'Tipper' Taunton about that one tee hee). Also down this non-descript alley was TORCHA SHED'S first rehearsal studio (Attic Studio). We recorded 'Alice through the Windscreen'/'Nowhere' here. This is now home to the Beat Foundry an upmarket band rehearsal space run by former Neon Hearts saxaphonist Steve Heart. Back to the Tap, Carling Black Label is around £1.95. Will serve PUNX but pretty fuckin small (P.D.C) The clientele is mainly OAP.'s and real-alers, does do grub, has bouncers on a weekend. Dear for the strong stuff but has a good-strength range especially the killer cyder! (Cyril)

OLD STILL INN: -Used to be a regular haunt on Saturday dirnnertime but is spoilt by even more small minded bouncers on a night. The fucking Carling is dead dear, in fact its dear all round. Has got that cheap wooden fllooring that you get from Do It All so straight away kills the atmosphere. Did have a pool table though? A pub you could use in the week and on daytime's but come weekend it's bouncer rules and casual attire whatever the fuck that means. A popular pub with straits and people who like to go European and sit on the plastic tables outside in the summer. They used to have SHAM 69 'Hurry up Harry' on the video jukebox. TORCHA SHED had some good photo sessions in the alleyway next door.(P.D.C.) The clientele are mainly youths, ethnics and men about town. The beer is dear with an average range and taste. (Cyril)

O'DONNELLS: - Was the token Paddy pub of the town, it's now run by two young geezers from Gloucester who are Welsh rugby fanatics. The Carling Black Label is reasonable circa £2.10 a throw but the Boddingtons is cheap. Has just had a cheap refurb which has killed its once Saturday atmosphere Was a regular haunt for myself and a few of the old remaining ex 'George' regulars. Does have doorstaff but let PUNKS in and has a pool table and Karaoke or it did have? A regular haunt for Crooked with a chequered past and even bigger future. This is another pub that had a dodgy past and was the last bastion for real people round the town when it was then called 'The Talbot'.(P.D.C.) The clientele consists of O.A.P.'s., youths on a night and men about town. The beer prices are HIGH the range is average but the taste is good. This was the premier Paddy Pub NOT ANY MORE! (Cyril).

THE WHEATSHEAF: - An old blokes pub situated next to the central Police Station. A bit too close tor comfort but is never used by off duty Old Bill. This also boasts a central Bed & Breakfast where back in the mists of time('78 to be precise), X -RAY SPEX stayed here when they played the Lafayette Cub. lt is an old Wolves supporters stronghold on match days and boasts the highest standard of Banks's Beers in the town centre. A dedicated drinkers pub, but lacks the bite of real atmosphere, unless your into Rovers Return action. No bouncers and serves anyone. (P.D.C.) Frequented by the occasional Paddy and Men about town. Features a beer garden and cobs. Still retains it's public bar status one of the few left, a cheap pint with an average range and taste. Good outlet to sell off stolen goods! (Cyril)

MOON UNDER WATER - The biggest pub in the town, but being a Witherspoons pub doesn't have a Jukebox. Retains precious rules about smoking at the bar. Suprisingly enough this pub used to boast a wide selection of misfits and alcoholics, and was a regular haunt for TORCHASHED,due to it being the cheapest pub in town at that time. But alas an epic cull of unwanted characters and barrings by numerous management put paid to that. Best day is Monday when a wide range of beers are a about £1.10 a pint (All day). One of the few pubs in town that opens up at ten in the moming. lt's absolutely jammed packed with young socialites on a Friday and Saturday night and they let any old Tom, Dick or Harry through their doors. Has the longest trek to a bog I have ever encountered, but it's the wisest place to 'drop a brick' in the whole town, clean and comfortable. Has Major TV surveillance all over the pub and the food spoils the look, also it's the darkest pub in town. Slow service means only worth checking out on a Monday. (P.D.C) The clientele in this boozer are a broad selection across the whole board and range from students, old people (daytimes only), real-alers, paddy's, puffs, youths, ethnics, men about town! Features dear food but guest beers and a good price range and taste. (Cyril)

CEASERS - This was the first established 'pound a pint pub' on Monday to Friday from 12-2 in the afternoon and occasionally on a Friday/Saturday night 5.30 till 8.00, but this is sometimes pot luck now? After 8.00 unsympathetic bouncers start on the door and the beer prices rise dramatically 80p in price! The beer was said to be recyded from the left-overs from some local Night-club, it's what you'd call second-hand beer and is sometimes the worst for ware especially the Fosters. It was a stronghold for thieves-drunkards and shoplifters in the happy hours and the weekend happy hours even attract the odd slag out for the ride! The management stopped the mid-week tea-time happy hours cos of the drunken bawdy behaviour and singing by some all day drinkers, and frightened off potential guest-residents who use the adjoining upmarket Victoria hotel. The seedy decor has had a facelift with loads of mirrors everywhere and it's dark with TV screens nobody watches. Seedy atmosphere full of dity old men, young thieves and opportunists. A stones throw from the bus station and directly across from the Moon Under Water. (P.D.C.) Mostly populated by O.A.P.'s (dinnertimes), paddy's and men about the town. Feature's MTV. Has an average range of beers that are dirt cheap but poor taste. (Cyril)

THE PRINCE ALBERT. - Built in 1900 this is the first pub you'll see as you come out the railway station. Has a regular smattering of Gays and prostitutes with the odd shoplifter and thief thrown in for good measure. Had a reasonable pint of Carling last time I was in there. An unexciting atmosphere and still a bit seedy. Out of the way so rarely used. (P.D.C) Clientele not already mentioned are some Men about town, dirty old blokes. The jukebox ain't bad but it's a lucky dip. Medium sized pool table. Everything in here is average but the taste is good. Used to be a totally gay pub not no more (Cyril)

FLARES - Horrible bouncers on a weekend. Punks ain't got no chance of admittance. Tries to be trendy but fails tremendously i.e. boasts a clientele of Kosovans and Refugees plays that Garage crap but is supposed to be a 70's theme pub ha! Also gets the occasional drunken Wolves fans.(P. D.C.) Youths frequent this place with the occasional men about town. Has 2 pool tables and video. Does an happy hour on Wednesday and Friday nights. Has an average range but on happy hours its cheap.(Cyril)

REVOLUTION - Poseur pub with big settees and and upstairs toilet that has some massive mirrors to look into as you climb the stairs. Don't like the ambience and the prices are even worse. Full of students and ethnics.

CITY BAR - I have only ever been in here when it was the previously named Kings Jazz Bar and was a neat seeedy after hours kinda bar. Is noticeable in the daytime for beng continuosly empty. Apparently it now has a student orienated punk/hardcore night but I ain't been in here to check it out yet? You have to be relatively sober to gain entrance. (P.D.C.) The clientele is mainly students and youths. Does have live music on the odd occasion, mainly safe student bands. Has a great beer garden in the summer months. And the beer range is average in price and taste (Cyril)

THE POSADA. - Was once a great little bar I used to use it frequently and probably one of the smallest pubs in the town centre! TORCHA SHED in fact actually played here one Sunday night next to the fireplace. It was a drunken blur but the place was packed. A Mr Billy Bourke said he could hear us down by the Giffard Arms some 400 metres away. That gig was like playing in someone's front room but good fun. We got paid with free beer and we were bolloxed! We used to smoke dope in the backyard of this pub by the staircase. However thats all changed now. It tried to go upmarket as some sorta wine bar but has failed miserably. Kanga ex-O' Donnells manager has taken it over but this could be tewmporary. Still worth a visit as its about my fasvourite pub in town at the moment Carling is £2.00 a pint. One of Lashers regular haunts and Cyrils if hes up town. (P.D.C.) A varied clientele from OAP.'s (dinnertime's only), students, real-alers, paddy's, men about town and a couple of old Junkies. Prices and tastes range, are all average. (Cyril)

THE PEPPERS CAFE BAR - Directly across the road from the Posada is a continental style restaurant with continental style beer prices, it's a haven for middle-aged career people and wouldn't serve Punks at all. Currently going through a major refurb but don't expect it to be a major drinking den? It's one redeeming feature was it was open around 8.00 in the moming if your really stuck, but you would be better off using the cafe in the Bus station. Cyril is barred as well. Avoid. (P.D.C.)

THE GOOSE IN THE CITY. - Currently my second favoured watering hole next to the Posada. Cheap beer Carling £1.50 a pint but like the Witherspoons pub has no Jukebox. A massive place that's full of a good mix but a lotta oldies are in here on a daytime. It transforms on a weekend into a packed young crowd. Great place to check out old faces and new as it has a brisk passing trade. DT from Low Hill was a regular on a daytime. Cyril don't like it though.

THE TAPHOUSE. - This is an abhorrently mundane pub with dear lager prices and a restaurant mentality. Used to be the town centre home of the local Goth/Rock fraternity when it was called the Exchange- Thats all changed now. You still get a smattering of rockers/goffs on Saturday afternoons and it's a possible pre-gig stopover when visiting the local Civic/Wulfrun Halls but thats about it. Supposed to have changed into some dance venue? Loads of young skaters frequent the square directly outside on Saturday afternoons. (P.D.C.) The clientele are Students, real-alers and men about town, as well as midde aged couples. lt's only redeemable feature is grub but with high prices is a let down. Has a good range and taste (Cyril)

THE LITTLE CIVIC - This is an astronomically priced youth bar playing lots of American pop punk on the MTV screens with a very young clientele and barstaff. I was the oldest one in here last time I went in. Looks good in the dark, but the prices are way rip-off aimed at a young audience. If your into young Green Day type bands and rucksacks you'll love it here. Upstairs hosts the occasional gig, last real punk band to play here was Sick On The Bus but I was skint. Neat venue shame about the prices.

KIPPS WINE BAR - Situated next door to the Little Civic. I had many a good drink in here till the dreaded scourge of proper drinkers everywhere was introduced (the bouncers). Pub 2 in the poseur triangle and hardest one to get served in. I personally ain't been in this joint since the mid-late 80's. And I think Cyril's last visit could be even further back in time? So unless your a Jonathan Ross lookalike or your from an decidedly ethnic background don't bother.

SHAKIN STREETS???. - Or whatever it is called this week?, directry across the road from both the above. Another one of those restuarant/bar/club efforts. Now this was a pub with a Punk Rock past. It used to be called the Queens Hotel until it's first revamp in the late 80's, and boasted in it's back room a wide variety of 80's PUNK talent such as THE VARUKERS/ SUBHUMANS/ CONTEMPT/ THE SECT/ PULEX IRRITANS/ VENDETTA/ VOID and THE STENCH to name but a few. Lars out RANCID and Jock G.B.H. had a few jars in here prior to RANCID'S show on their last big UK tour in the 90's. However now there ain't no chance of admittance for PUNKS or any other person who aint casually dressed! (P.D.C.) Watered down lager and dear as well (Cyril)

YATE'S WINE LODGE. - Just round the comer from Kipp 's wine bar and is one of the towns trendiest pubs on a weekend. lt has a two-way street entrance and beer-garden at the rear. l got barred from here the afternoon I got back from seeing the PISTOLS at Finsbury Park in '96. Me and an ex-Skinhead Jimmy Cox, were just topping off after the London session and this pub was 2 weeks old, which meant bouncers on the door in mid-MONDAY-aftemoons to deter town drunks from secreting themselves around it's bar. We, as you probably guessed didn't reach the foyer before being manhandled in the nicest possible way. Well nowadays things have eased considerably. If you really want a drink in their try weekdays coz the lager is cheap around £1.50 a pint. Avoid weekend nights unless you wanna queue and takes an hour to get served. Kids queue up to go in here on a weekend so it's full of bright young things, not a drinkers pub. Week days it's full of office workers and the Social having their dnner-breaks plus drug pushers in the beer garden. (P.D.C.) The clientele is students, OA.P.'s (dinnertime's), youth's and men about town. Features grub, live music, Budweiser promotions e.g. The Blues Brothers tributes. Dear prices a massive range and a good taste (Cvril)

THE GIFFARD ARMS. - Built in 1929 on an old existing pub and styled in 18th century decor. Rumoured to have a ghost too? TORCH A SHED made their world debut 1993 upstairs in this pub, it was a Rock pub then. Has a colourful past and was the second major Rock pub in town till it went through a short hooligan period before going very dead and quiet. However things have picked up recently due to a Goff entrepeneur who runs the Alertnative clothing boutique across the road taking it over. Check out the giant throne situated in the centre of the bar plus the devil worshipping coffin shaped tables. Fridays and Saturdays has a late bar and goff/rock disco and late bar. Carling around £1.80 in the weekdays, but goes up on a weekend. Is definitely the new rock/goff stronghold? (P.D.C.) The clientele is mainly youth's and the odd studert wth lunchtime grub jukebox, games machines large screen. Beer price and range average.(Cyril)

THE LITTEN TREE - Across the road from the Giffard. Didn't expect to like this bar but on a weekend it's full of drunken youths and a smattering few town drunks who take in the after hours openings. Has a drunken UK Spainish resort feel to the place with loads of young, and middle aged drunk birds out for fun. Can smoke draw in here but I was too drunk to remember the prices?

THE PLOUGH AND HARROW - This was a rocking little olde world venue during the late 90's and was host to many a TORCHA SHED gig on a Thursday night. Now it's part of the Gay triangle scene. Ain't been in here for about 3 years?

THE WHITE HART - Dunno if this is still open aint been in here since the 90's. Uased to be another average old mans pub that was the number one Gay pub in town next to the Greyhound in Bond Street.

THE NEW INNS - Situated on the towns boundary near the out-door market. It was the young alternative GREEN DAY disciples pub which they used to congregate here on Saturday afternoons back in the late 90's. Now's it's main pulling power is the early 8.00am start on Market Days Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays? Old fashioned bar full of old men and a fucking expensive set of Lager prices for such a dismal bar. On the wrong side of town for strangers to find (P.D.C.) The clientele compromises OAP's, paddys, ethnics and men about town. Features a bed and breakfast and food. Its a Banks's pub so the 'beer' prices are cheap and the range is good plus an average taste. Another pub with an early start (Cyril).

Well that brings us to a close on Wolverhampton's City Centre pub guide.

I have missed a few out but I don't think they warrant mentioning. If for any reason any of you PUNKS get stranded here or have got time to kill before a RARE gig you now know where not to go. -

Cheers to PUNK SHOCKER #4 for the original Idea!!! & CyrI for invaluable input.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!

Peter Don't Care Summer 2003