Quotes
"OK, that was weird, so I suggest we all pretend it didn't happen"

"I have never said, "Wahoo" in my life."

"Oh Damn, and you know how I love to gossip."

Dave: (in drag): "...After all, I am the belle of the ball."
Lisa: "More like 'party slut'."
Dave: "Jealous."

"ever been b*tch-slapped?"- dave foley

"Let’s face it: I’m one sexy b*tch." –Dave Foley

"We could eat him."
"There's no time."
--Bruno Puntz Jones & Françesca Fiore

"As usual, I'm going to have to ask you all to ignore Bill. Looking around I see you're all two steps ahead of me." -Dave Foley (NR)

"I don't know what coffee does for you, but I'm pretty sure wihout it, your head caves in."~ Dave Foley, Dave Nelson. NewsRadio

"I'm a Canadian. It's like an American, but without a gun."~ Dave Foley

"Lets face it, bulimics are really pretty."~ Dave Foley

"Hear me well. As of today, a new Dave is born. A new Dave, who for lack of a better phrase is - pure evil... and by embodying pure evil as I now do, in one short week, I will have my old job rightfully re-bestowed upon me" ~Dave Foley

"Coffee machine broken.. no coffee!" ~ Dave Foley

Dave: "Alright, I take the complaint box very seriously and I seem to be the only one who does."
Bill: "A complaint about the complaint box... delicious."
Dave: "Bill, I'm serious. I am not amused, alright. I happen to be the one who has to deal with all these complaints no matter how stupid they are."
Beth: "Well Dave, how stupid could they be?"
Dave: "Well, let's have a look here... You Suck... You Suck... Howard Stern Rules... If you can read this you are a dork... Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a girl... Need more complaint cards... Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a GUY... You will go on a journey happy long time [fortune cookie]... Matthew is a moron... no I'm not... yes you are... no I'm not infinity... yes you are infinity plus one... and this one... I have doobie in my funk (which I assume is from some reference to the Parliament Funkadelic's song Chocolate City... You got peanut butter in my chocolate... you got chocolate in my peanut butter... together they taste like crap... Matthew has been staring at me all day - - - and I love it... and this one says, "I try to be good hard worker man... but refidgamator so messy - so so messy..."
Lisa: "I think that ones probably from the um... janitor."
Dave: "Ohhh, oh then that one's legitimate.... uhhh, who's the black private dick the sex machine with all the chicks?...
Staff: "SHAFT!!"
Bill: "I thought we'd all enjoy that one."
Dave: "and... Help, I'm being held prisoner in in a complaint box."

DAVE: "Matthew, Bill is not a God."
MATTHEW: "Time will tell."

"Well, I'm sure the Great Leader is just some sort of twisted ass freak!" ~ Dave Foley

"I figured, how far could you coast on charm? Well, pretty far, actually!" ~ Dave Foley

"Yes, well, it was in Toronto. There were no search lights, no red carpet, just one guy with a camera, and we think he wasn't supposed to be there. But we did have the big premiere, and it was in Toronto." ~ Dave on the ‘Brain Candy’ Premiere

"Who wants to be your friend? You're a freak!" ~ Dave Foley

"Allow me to reiterate, I speak no English. Perhaps this will wash the confusion from your face, my friend. My apparent fluency is the result of constant repetition. As you can imagine, I have been through this speech many times before, in fact ,I could repeat it for you in any one of seven different languages. Yet oddly enough , I've never learned to speak it in my own, which is fine since over the years I have forgotten how to speak my own language." ~ Dave Foley

"My advice to 16 year-olds? Shut up. You really don’t have anything to say." ~ Dave Foley

"I can be a porn star -- Dave Polite Foley would be my name," as the actor breaks into a thick English accent. "’Excuse me, may we f***?’"