Dates to be added at a later time.


In bowling, the bowlers tend to strike down the pins that spare them.
If you plan the weekend on Tuesday, you have a lazy week ahead of you.
In order to have time pass you by, hide somewhere until it flies away.
Always keep an eye on the Neighborhood Watch sign to make sure no one steals it.
You can't expect a billiards-playing zebrafish to earn the title of pool shark.
Golf must be a heavy game if you have to carry nine irons with you.
Fire-breathing dragons have no need of an emergency dispatch unless it rains.
Never make a left turn at a busy intersection.  If you go to the left, you'll never be right.
Every move you make, every breath you take, I'll be watching you.  So stay away from my Game Boy.
If ever you get ridiculed for doing what's right, ignore the laughter until the batteries die.
According to Blake, the tiger is the world's only natural flashlight.
A stitch in time takes forever to knit a sweater.
"Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible."
"To make a pie chart, crush your computer into small chunks and bake for one hour."
If you're in the process of getting rid of bread from your hand, stop the drop and roll.
It's never a good thing if you hear a doctor or technician say, "Oops."
Don't let the turkeys get you down.  Get them out of the freezer and out of your life.
If a smile is your umbrella, then expect a snowstorm.
If you can respect the wishes of a nine, then pay a ten tion.
"Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime."  If he has an oven, teach him how to cook.
If a freshman successfully swindles $50 on his first day in school, he's destined to become a con artist.
If you go to a lecture on 5 hours of sleep, bring a glass of water to wake yourself up.
The reflexes of the hare makes a person agree with the tortoise.
If you're getting on people's nerves, they may have to shove you off.
"If you make a stupid decision and you can't live with yourself, then one of you will have to go."
Look before you leap.  There's a spider right above you.
If you're doing stupid stuff, wear rubber gloves so that the stupidity doesn't decrase your brain.
If we don't know the power of the dark side, then avoid whatever you know isn't good.
Rain lives in pour financial conditions.
The minds of car drivers tend to wander off track.
Athletes in the outfield are known to act off base.
When a vegetable fights a vegetable, they meet on the "field of onion."
Life is short.  Get a marker and extend your timeline.
Father time's kids need pushed out of the nest to fly.
"Remember the....remember....remember that place in Texas."