S.O.C. Chaos Episode #1 "Hamsters In Love" and "VGF Valentine's Day Fanfic" by DVGBA MSTed by Curtis Wildcat Kharlosa Khosmosa and Kurthish are my own creations. Phibrizzo, the Lord of Nightmares, Xellos, and Lina Inverse belong to TV Tokyo, SoftX, Kadokawa Publishing, and Software Sculptors; while "Hamtaro" belongs to Shopro and TV Tokyo. Inspired by Mystery Science Theater 3000, property of Best Brains. -------------- I decided that this story wouldn't fit the storyline I have set for Wildcat Science Theater 3000, since WST3K's plot took place in the year 2000 and Hamtaro didn't show up on Cartoon Network for a little while afterwards. Thus, I decided to kick off my other storyline, which takes place at some point during my "This is Weird!" mini-series and goes all the way past the "Slayers: Try" season eventually. I'll be popping back with this once in a while, but otherwise I'm sticking with WST3K until story's end. One more thing: the opinions of Phibrizzo and the others do not in any way match my own. To quote Scott Adams, "I may be dumb, but I'm not dumb enough to express my true opinion on anything important." Now, let's go. ------------ Prologue (The camera brightens on an extremely angry, extremely frazzled Lina Inverse. No surprise here. The camera pans out, and we see a black-haired kid in dark-blue clothes leaning against a stone wall, frightened out of his wits. We see that several shackles, misc. debris, and a fallen bucket of water are scattered around the room) Lina: (slowly; builds on ferocity) That...was the last straw. You said you survived just for revenge...well, you're not getting it! (cracks her knuckles) Better write your will...(screams) *You Firebrat!* (Cut to outside; the camera is hovering above an old, run-down lodge miles from anyplace populated. We hear several loud impacts. A few minutes later a series of multiple explosions rip the building apart, ending with a massive Dragon Slave that turns the area into a gigantic crater) (One hour passes. Lina has long since vanished. The final nemesis of the "Next" series, however, is not what anyone would call "in excellent condition"; he's unconscious at the bottom of the crater and leaking some serious dark energy, unable to even phase out. His form slowly glows yellow, then disappears entirely) ----- (Fade in to a moderate-sized room. It resembles the bridge on MST3K's Satellite of Love, except that the walls are painted off- white instead of gray. Also, it is slightly larger by several meters. The damaged form of Phibrizzo materializes on the main console, still leaking energy. After a few minutes the released energy fades away, and the yellow glow around him recedes into nothing as his health is restored) Phibrizzo: (opens eyes slowly) Wha...can't believe I got caught with my guard down, I---(sits up; eyes snap open)---Hey! Where am I? This isn't--- Voice: ---the lodge you had built? Understandable. (Phibrizzo looks directly at the camera, puzzled. After a minute, recognition hits him with the force of a wrecking ball) Phibrizzo: (weakly) Mother...did I just... Voice: I gave you a direct order not to harm Lina Inverse, Phibrizzo. You disregarded my will without any regard for the consequences. Phibrizzo: (weakly) And so...where am I now? (The camera turns so we can see the console's main viewscreen. The image of a tall, blonde-haired woman [think Yao Ming-tall] with a long, flowing white dress and a silver tiara is displayed on- screen. Despite her poker face, it's obvious that she's upset) Woman: As the Lord of Nightmares, I have full authority to sentence you to 100 years imprisonment within this void called the Sea of Chaos. I'm going to do that, and there's no two ways about it. Phibrizzo: (leaps off the console and glares at it) But...but that's---! LoN: ---exactly what you deserve. Welcome to your new home, Phibrizzo Ruby-Eye: the Satellite of Cat. Phibrizzo: (shrinks back slightly; snickers) The "Satellite of Cat"? What kind of stupid name is that? LoN: (as another screen displays a ship's diagram) Here's why. And before you ask, no. It wasn't meant to look like a barbell. It just came out that way. ------------------------------------ | 11 decks - |-------| | | ||| 2 decks | | 870 meters ||| / cnt. areas | | wide ||| -/ | | ||| Kachin | | 22 /- |-------| hull | | decks -/ |-------| | ------------------------------------ Phibrizzo: (eye twitches) The Satellite looks like a giant scratching post condominium. I don't know if I should laugh, or what. LoN: (nods) The lower level has 22 decks, each of them about 10 feet from floor to ceiling. The middle level has 2 decks that connect the lower and upper levels, each of them about 190 feet tall. Lastly, the upper level has 11 decks which are about the same structure as the lower level. All decks are connected by both stairs and elevators. Phibrizzo: (narrows his eyes) How could you? LoN: (arches an eyebrow) How could I what? Phibrizzo: (angrily) How could you trap me in this ship and *not provide me with a map?* LoN: (chuckles) I don't need to. The deck you're on right now is labeled #26, in the lower level. This is where your personal quarters, the kitchen, the Holocabana, and the movie theater are located. Phibrizzo: (eyes expand) What?! Movie theater?! (looks around; looks frightened) Don't tell me that I'm... LoN: (nods) Yes, you are. I'll be sending you your first movie shortly. A few more things: you can use this computer to help you find out what each deck has. It will also synthesize whatever around-the-house products you are likely to use...(chuckles)...such as deodorant. (to herself) Glad it's voice-activated. Phibrizzo: (mutters) It's bad enough that I get insulted about it by my new general, but from my own mother? That's bad. (out loud) Um...what do those two middle decks do? They don't seem like they have much of a purpose. LoN: Well, maybe not...but you could always play hackey-sack in there, or maybe one of those little Super Balls that they sell in toy stores...(laughs a little bit) Add all of the above together, and you've got the next century in a nutshell. Phibrizzo: (deadpan) You're a real life-saver, mother. Don't tell me I won't have anyone in the theater with me. I don't, right? I'm right, aren't I? LoN: Actually, I won't be able to transport the other prisoners up to the Satellite for another three standard days. That's when I'm expecting my trump cards to arrive. Phibrizzo: (curious) Your trump cards? What's your trump cards? LoN: The keys to effectively reducing your powers down to those of a normal human's level. Phibrizzo: (raging; moves up close) **WHAT?!** LoN: Phibrizzo, get your face off the screen. You look silly. (continues as Phibrizzo does as told) In the meantime I'm sending you a movie, so you better get ready for the long haul. Oh, and just so you know...(points at the massive blast door behind Phibrizzo; camera rotates slightly) ...this way to the theater for our feature presentation: "Hamsters In Love", plus a little something that precedes it. Please throw all trash away when you leave the theater. Thank you. (looks off-screen) Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to resume my vigil for a little while. (The image blinks off the screen, and the camera turns again so we can see Phibrizzo's face. It looks completely contorted with rage. And then, in a voice remniscent of Doctor Forrester...) Phibrizzo: (groans) Deeeeep hurrrtinggg. (At that point red emergency lights flick on, and a siren starts wailing. The blast door in the background slides open) Phibrizzo: (growls angrily) Never thought in all my millennia of living that I would have to say something as lowbrow as this... (shouts) We have Movie Sign! (phases off-screen) (The camera moves through the open blast door, and we get the following sequence) 6 ----- A revolving door. 5 ----- A bubble door, a la "Metroid". 4 ----- A glass sliding door. 3 ----- A blue folding door. 2 ----- A castle drawbridge slams down over a pool of water. 1 ----- The standard vault door. (Phibrizzo enters the theater, grumbling something incoherently. The screen in front of him begins spouting "computer startup" information, and we get the "Windows XP" logo for a few seconds. The logo vanishes, and we get a few lines that read:) "Teleportation signal -- Kharlosa Khosmosa -- GRANTED" "Teleportation signal -- Kurthish -- GRANTED" Phibrizzo: (sits in the row's middle seat) What is going on? Is this gonna be fanfiction or technobab---- (Phibrizzo is interrupted as two more silhouetted forms appear in the seats to the right of him. The one closest to him has wild hair) Phibrizzo: (surprised) Kharlosa! Kurthish! How'd you get up here? Kurthish: (from right-most seat; teenaged voice) Mom contacted us and told us to get up here. I was wondering what happened to you, boss; we could see the explosion all the way from the next town. Phibrizzo: (calmer; disgusted) I'm being given the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" treatment. Kharlosa: (Spanish accent) Mother didn't like you, so she shot you into space, si? Phibrizzo: (disgusted) Yes, if you can describe the Sea of Chaos in that manner. Kharlosa: Good. Maybe she put a washing machine up here somewhere. (snickers) The last time you took a bath, the town held a festival in your honor. Phibrizzo: (turns his head) You insult me or my clothes one more time, and I'll make sure that you spend the rest of your life with that insane brat Amelia. Kharlosa: Um, about that--- Kurthish: (interrupts) Hang on. We're getting something! ----------- >VGF Valentine's Day Fanfic >by DVGBA Kurthish: Follow it through to the letter...and another, and another, and another. Kharlosa: (French accent) "Don't Vorget...Game Boy Advance!" >The day was Valentine's Day, a day in which love truely either >brings a couple together or break them apart. No one could predict >what that day can bring. Phibrizzo: A century of pain begins with this day. >Tain, Neo, and Marilink have no idea what will happen to each >other today, but they will soon find out. > >The Misc. Forum was filled with its usual craziness on a daily >basis. Kharlosa: A little of this, a little of that...it ain't called the "Misc. Forum" for nothing. >It's no different on Valentine's Day. However, something >interesting has been hyped for a while. Knuckles173 has prepared Kurthish: ---a little something for the other 172 Knuckles. >a VGF Valentine's Assigner to determine which guys will be paired >with the girls. Since there are fewer girls, they were allowed to >have more than one. Phibrizzo: Somewhere out there, Ryoko's having a conniption. >"Okay," began Knux, "it is time to see who will be Valentines >with." He pushed the red heart button as everyone at the Assigner >watched in amazment as one by one, Kharlosa: ---each person was told, "Save yourself! Run!" Phibrizzo: And don't forget to pick up some doggie bags when you leave the Forum. >each girl got paired with two guys. While Knux was waiting for it >to finish, he whispered to Kazooie64, Kurthish: (Knux) This place stinks. I'm gonna hit the buffet. Wanna join me? >"I know for sure you'll be assigned to me." >"Hah, you wish," she quickly replied. Phibrizzo: (Kazooie64) Knowing you, you'll wind up digging foxholes behind everyone else. >"Darn, well I hope it does anyway. It was your idea to have the red >heart button." >"No, I was going to have Bret Hart push the red heart button." Kharlosa: Just name one of them "Frank". That should give him some initiative. >"...Wait, the results are coming." >But the machine stopped when the girls were assigned two guys each. >"Stupid machine," Knux yelled and kicked the machine as it shows >DVGBA's name on it. Kharlosa: (Knux) No, no, no! This dumb machine took my money! >"OK," Knux continued, "the Valentines have been announced. Guys, go >to your new girls and please share." > Kurthish: (Knux) And if you don't, I've been authorize to hit you with an Ugly Stick. >The initial reactions were a surprise to most, with some believing >that it was rigged for some reason. Phibrizzo: Rigged to explode, I'm hoping. Kurthish: I'm assuming it's in your nature to be dark, right? Phibrizzo: (snaps) Guess. Kurthish: (stretches) It's gonna be a long morning. >Neo grins evily as she prepares to chase Curt and LuigiMan with >explosives. But it would be harder than it sounds. "Oh, heyo," Curt >said while behind Neo, "I guess we have to believe what Knux said. Kharlosa: (Curt) "We" meaning everyone besides me. >What would you like to do?" Neo was ignoring Curt as she was >thinking of the many ways to destroy him. Kurthish: (shocked) You wouldn't dare! Phibrizzo: As much as your attitude needs adjusting, he's not the same as you. Kurthish: (sarcastic) Thanks for the comforting words. > >Meanwhile, Tain and Marilink were discussing their Valentines. >"This is the worst day of my life," Tain complained, "I've been >assigned to Kazooie." Kharlosa: (Marilink) It could've been worse. You could've been assigned to the programming division. >"Ah, I feel sorry for everyone here including me," Marilink said, >"many are angered because of Knux's stupid machine." Kurthish: The machine takes offense at their comment and beats them over the head with a giant pillow. >"Who would you rather be with?" >"I was thinking along the lines of Neo. She's very difficult to >impress but she's worth it." Phibrizzo: (Tain) I gave her the keys to Denver, and she didn't even blink. >"Hey, you read my mind. But it won't be any easier because I have >the gift for her." Kharlosa: (Tain) It's a laser cannon that turns entire cities into flamingoes. >"Hah, you're just too overconfident. I'm surprised you remembered >getting a gift for somebody. Aren't you the one who forgot your >password?" >"Hey, stay out of this crossdresser." Phibrizzo: And the slugfest begins. >"A wise guy huh? I'm sure you can't find your way to VGF even with >20/20 vision!" Kurthish: Worst of all, it takes a blind person to get there. >Before the argument got out of hand, Neo grabbed the necks of both >guys and started yelling in their ears. "You better not be trying >anything funny. You DO know I'm in no mood for any of your antics." Kharlosa: That's some real quiet yelling, you know. >She then stormed off to her room at one of the VGF dorms, where all >members of VGF sleep at night, if they ever do so. Curt was >following her. Phibrizzo: And walking the same way, I might add. Someone back there's cracking up. >"Hey wait up," he said. Neo stopped at the door and asked, "what do >you want?" >"It's too early in the day for you to hit the sack." Kharlosa: (Curt) Try tomorrow afternoon before you lose your temper. >"What's it to you?" >"So you're just going to slam the door shut on me?" >"Unless you give me a kiss." Kurthish: (disgruntled; mutters) I'll give you a kiss, all right. Phibrizzo: I'm telling you he's not the same person! >"What?!" Curt gets shocked at the request, "you're kidding, right?" >Neo grinned, "I promise not to slam the door on you. Just close >your eyes and lean closer." Kharlosa: (Neo) Hang on a second...that toad got away. >Curt does as he is told. But then he get totally surprised... when >Neo suddenly slams the door on his face! >"Oops, did I do that," she got a incredible laugh out of this. Kurthish: (warningly) You're asking for it. Phibrizzo: Kurthish, don't make me use force. > >"Oww..." Curt complained, "good thing my nose is not bleeding." > >Neo took out a box labeled "Voodoo Dolls" and pulled out one that >looks like Curt. Kurthish: The only thing keeping me from doing a Jinnai laugh is the fact that I can't get my voice that high. >She then took out a needle and proceeded to stab the voodoo doll's >nose. A loud "YAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!" was heard as she >bursted into laughter. Kurthish: I could never understand why people are so obsessed with those things. Phibrizzo: Yeah. If they work so well, why are Barney the Dinosaur's tapes still selling? >"This is so much better than InstantVoodoo.com," she grinned. > >Marilink walked into a store filled with all sorts of weapons of >mass destruction. Kharlosa: Including an anti-mazoku weapon: an Azusa Shiratori doll. The store is run by Darth Bowser and it has the >largest selection of nuclear weapons freely sold to the public. Kharlosa: Welcome to the "Misscile" Forum. >He was there to buy a weapon that Neo can destroy idiots with. Phibrizzo: (Darth Bowser) Here's one for you. This one can destroy black holes. 'So many weapons, so little time,' he thought. "Howdy," Darth Bowser roared out loud, "welcome to Destruction Junction, what the heck is your function?" Kurthish: (singing) Workin' up words that really don't sound right... Phibrizzo: At least not together. Kharlosa: (drill sergeant) What *is* your major malfunction?! (1) "Got any new nuclear weapons in stock?" asked Marilink. >"Ah, you're just in time. Behold, the DE3-8!" He points to a black/ >red nuclear weapon with the logos of GM Goodwrench and Budweiser on them. Kurthish: It replaces cars with frogs? >"Umm... do you have a version of it with no decals?" >"Hey, either you buy or get nuked!" >"OK, fine." Phibrizzo: Now this is my kind of store. (shouts) Nuke it! > >Meanwhile, Tain is at the local Toys R Us. Yes, even VGF Forums >has a Toys R Us. Anyway, he looking through the Dangerous Toys bin >when he discovered the perfect item. Kharlosa: It's the most dangerous item in existence: the "Rugrats" Mobius strip. >"That it!" he proclaimed. It was a Yugi voodoo doll, the perfect >gift for anyone that hates Yugi. Kharlosa: Yeah, if you actually believe in that junk. Kurthish: Must be dangerous because of that poisonous coating. No wonder no one's bought it yet. >"Hmm... better try it first," Tain wondered. He pushed a needle >into one of Yugi's hands. > >Yugi and Joey were starting a friendly game of Duel Monsters. Phibrizzo: It started as a dare from someone, continued as a prank war from someone else, and now it's become a mediation. >They were shuffling their decks when Yugi suddenly dropped his >deck. "Yo," Joey said, "you OK there Yugi?" "Huh," Yugi said >confused, "this has never happened to me before." Phibrizzo: (Yugi) Except for the time Mokuba greased my hands as a practical joke. >"Trust me Yugi, I had my share of these mishaps. It happens." >"Oh, I guess you're right." Yugi picks up the dropped cards and >resumes shuffling his deck. > Kharlosa: (Joey) Okay, why haven't you given my dragon back yet? I know I saw it in there. >Neo was having a very difficult time taking her nap. All those >sqeaking noises next door had really gotten to her. Kurthish: The mice next door are having an argument. >"Wyborn and Silv are at it again," she complained, "I really need >to ask Shane to put me somewhere else." She got out of bed and >opened the door, when suddenly she got faced with a total surprise. Kharlosa: (yells) *Smile, you're on Candid Camera! Whasssupp?!* >She got kissed on the lips, but it wasn't from Curt... it was from >DVGBA. Kurthish: (cheers) Lo-ser! Phibrizzo: Why would Curt want to...with that face of his. > >Outside the room, there was a crowd of people laughing at DVG >because of what he did. Neo got really angry and yelled "YOU! HOW >COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?" Kharlosa: (DVGBA) Like this. (makes a kissing noise) Phibrizzo: (rubs his head) You delight in doing this, do you? Kharlosa: You're one to talk. >"What?" he said surprised, "I thought you are ForestGirl." He turns >around to the laughing crowd that led him here. "Hey," he said, "you >said that ForestGirl moved back to VGF Forums." Kurthish: (random crowd member) Nah. Little John asked her to do a favor, so she hit one of the IRC channels instead. >"So this is what's happening around here. I knew Curt was up to >something." Phibrizzo: (glares at Kurthish) Oh, really? Were you? Kurthish: If this is about the cake you accidently sat on last week, Lina put me up to it. Phibrizzo: (grumbles) If I wasn't already in trouble, I'd...rrrgh. >"What? I didn't know that Curt was plotting revenge on you." >Then, Curt appears out of nowhere. He had a huge bandage covering >the area where his nose used to be at. Kharlosa: It's like Krillin with hair. >"That's right DVG, I had to use you to plot revenge on Neo. She >ruined my face, my PERFECT face." Kurthish: (makes quote marks) Your "perfect" face has acne. >Before Neo can say anything else, Marilink and Tain came out with >their "gifts" for Neo. "Look Neo," Marilink said, "I got this new >nuclear weapon for you." Phibrizzo: (Marilink) It was on sale! >"No way," Tain complained, "I have a better gift." "Oh cool," Neo >said sarcasticly, Kharlosa: (Neo; annoyed) It's a "Simpsons" comic. Joy. >"the same things I've gotten for the past three years... oh wait, >that was the Deep Impact DVD." Kurthish: Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark. >"Just enjoy them Neo," Tain said. "Oh, I totally agree," Marilink >replied. "OK, I guess," Neo said. She was about to place a needle >in the voodoo Yugi doll's other hand... All: (leaping out of their seats) Boo! Kurthish: And the doll flies out the window and onto a passing car. > >Yugi was desperately holding his hand of cards. He knew he had >the perfect combination to win this game. Phibrizzo: No, no! Defense, not attack mode! Kharlosa: Do you even know anything about this game? Phibrizzo: Two words: Toon World. (chuckles evilly) Kharlosa: Oh. > >..."Nah, too easy," Neo confirmed. She threw the voodoo doll and >launched a nuclear bomb, which is in the shape of a racing tire, at >the doll using the DE3-8. > Kharlosa: Next, we'll be seeing a tank in the shape of a computer mouse. >Yugi suddenly got shot through the ceiling of the Domino High >School and landed on the street. "Whew, that was close," he said >slowly. Then, he heard a thunderous roar. Phibrizzo: (Yugi) That had better be a storm...please let it be a storm. >"Oh no..." Yugi complained. A bunch of NASCAR stock cars were >thundering towards him. > Kurthish: Runaways from the Daytona 500. >"All in all, a very boring day," Neo said monotonusly. "What," but >Tain and Marilink said in surprise. "I blew my entire savings on >the nuclear weapon." Kurthish: You blew your savings. It's your own fault you don't have anything to eat now. >"And that was the only Yugi voodoo doll that has foreign currency >in it." "Oh, you mea these coins," Neo took out some Euro coins >and threw them at Marilink and Tain. Phibrizzo: Hate to admit it, but the Beatles were right. Money *can't* buy love. >"Sorry," she continued, "but I have no interest in you two." Kurthish: Not after giving them that money, you don't. >"Excuse me, but am I late for something." Neo knew that voice and >turned around. "VASH!" Phibrizzo: (deadpan) You've got to be kidding me. >"Hey these Neo," Vash said, "I was in traffic. Shane thinks he >knows everything about VGF. Easier said than done." Kharlosa: (Vash) What was the giant ogre doing bashing that trash can? >"Oh Vash," Neo said dreamily, "take me away." "Your wish has been >granted," Vash accepted. They walked hand-in-hand in the direction >of the setting sun. Phibrizzo: If they start chanting "Love and Peace", I'm gonna scream. >"Oh gosh no!" Yugi was still being chased around by a large group >of NASCAR stock cars. "You don't even know who you are dealing with >here... Kharlosa: (Yugi) I'm the duelist, *you're* the card! Are you listening to me?! Phibrizzo: The "NASCARd". Attack and Defense at 1500. Special Ability: chases away the duelist. >and I can look older by saying the name of the anime. Oh no, my >Millennium Puzzle has been dropped. This is not faaaaaiiiiiir!" Kurthish: (Yami) Um, Yugi...what's Al Unser Jr. doing here? And why does Joey's Axe Raider have a large sweatdrop? Yugi? >Cast of characters in order of appearance: >Knuckles173 ("Guys, go to your new girls and please share.") >Kazooie64 ("No, I was going to have Bret Hart push the red heart >button.") Kharlosa: I think he has better things to do. >Neo ("All in all, a very boring day.") >Curt ("Oww... good thing my nose was not bleeding.") Kurthish: (mutters) Or else I'd have to whack somebody. Phibrizzo: He's not you, alright? Give it up. Kurthish: (unsure) If you insist. >Tain ("Hey, stay out of this crossdresser.") >Marilink ("I'm sure you can't find your way to VGF even with 20/20 >vision!") >Darth Bowser ("Hey, either you buy or get nuked!") >Yugi ("I can look older by saying the name of the anime.") Kurthish: Millennium Puzzle not included. Joey ("I had my share of these mishaps.") DVGBA ("I thought you are ForestGirl.") Vash ("Your wish has been granted.") Kharlosa: (Vash) I am Vash, the Eternal Stampede. Shenron's on sabbatical right now, so...what can I do for you? Kurthish: Well, that was kind of fun. What's next? Phibrizzo: (groans) What else? A romance fanfic with hamsters in it. Kharlosa: I'm not even going to ask. Roll it! ------------ Chapter One >Hamsters in Love by DVGBA > Kurthish: And who in the world would care about why rodents multiply? Phibrizzo: Mathematicians. You have any idea how hard it is to make those story problems for school textbooks? >(Start of story notes: This will be a series of stories mostly >focused on the romance portion. Expect some drama and surprises in >future chapters. I think you will be in love with this story. Kharlosa: Your thoughts betray you, amigo. >The first chapter is a Hamtaro/Bijou romance, with a little bit of >high-energy action. Please do not mind if the beginning might sound >boring and slow. Kurthish: After all, most people's lives are like that. >Things will pick up soon. I promise. Just a little note that >Hamtaro and other characters are copyrighted by their creators. I'm >a simple everyday author that loves to write stories.) > Phibrizzo: That very evening, the command came: "Arise! Let us go to the creators of cartoons!" And children everywhere armed themselves and prepared to drive them crazy. (1) >It was a typical day at Laura's house. Laura had to go to school, so >this pretty much seems that Hamtaro has an opportunity to go to the >Ham-Ham Clubhouse. Kharlosa: It was not to be, though, for Laura had put a padlock on his cage. Kurthish: (in tune with the "Spam" song) Ham ham ham ham lovely ham, wonderful ham... Phibrizzo: (mutters) Idiot. >Although nothing new has been happening for the past few days, >Hamtaro was confident that something new and exciting will happen. >As he made his way to the clubhouse, he gave Brandy a quick hello Phibrizzo: (incensed) Blast it, dog, just catch the stupid rodent and get it over with! He is *one foot in front of you!* Kurthish: Easy there, boss. >before continuing on. Hamtaro would then think of if something new >will happen when he arrives at the clubhouse. Kharlosa: The addition of the DVD player was long overdue. >Of course, when he did arrive at the clubhouse, everything was the >usual same old same old. Phibrizzo: Everyone was still discussing either the fine quality of cedar shavings or the record times they set on their exercise wheels. >Oxnard would cry over a lost sunflower seed. Boss keeps trying to >impress Bijou while Howdy and Dexter would do the same for >Pashmina. And of course Stan will do the same with BOTH girls. Kurthish: So, is that a love square or a love pentagon? Phibrizzo: Neither. It's just a very crooked line. >Maxwell was reading from that blue book which seems to have an >unlimited amount of information while Sandy practices her rhythmic >gymnastics. Kharlosa: Well, one guess as to whose hamster *she* is. Kurthish: If she starts throwing around black roses, I'm outta here. (Phibrizzo lets off a spine-chilling cackle) >Panda would either build a new object or repair a broken piece of >furniture. Cappy would just look at himself through the mirror and >adjust his green cap. Kharlosa: (Cappy) So, how about them Oakland A's, senor? >Snoozer sleeps as usual and all that Penelope could do is to >observe the behavior of others and comment just by saying "Ookyoo! >Ookyoo!" Kharlosa: Replace the first "O"s with a "U", and guess who you get. Kurthish: (falsetto) Boss-chan, I've got some okonomiyaki for you! > >Hamtaro thought that he could try to make conversation with one of >the Ham-Hams. Unfortunately, all he was able to do was to discover >that Oxnard's sunflower seed was under a bed. Phibrizzo: And I suppose you wanted it all to yourself, right? >Everyone else was too busy with other things, Snoozer just sleeps >and Penelope would only say one word. Kurthish: And Stan would start babbling about his pig-tailed Ham-Ham. Phibrizzo: Would you shut up before I'm forced to do something to you? The "Ranma" jokes are getting old. Kurthish: Sure, boss. >Disappointed, Hamtaro decided to take a walk outside the clubhouse. >Everywhere he went, he gets a flashback of something that happened >there. Every day, the Ham-Hams used to have exciting adventures, but Kharlosa: ---when Oxnard threw a seed at Panda's head, a fight broke out and Boss had to send the entire group home. >recently things have become calm and typical. Usually, Hamtaro would >think that something really exciting would happen. But the past few >days have been very doubtful, Phibrizzo: Joe Friday was convinced that a hamster was behind the theft of the local pet store's supply of cat toys. >Hamtaro even thought that he was experiencing the same day over and >over. He has now been walking around the area the whole day and he >has yet to break a sweat. Phibrizzo: "Hamtaro" collides with "Groundhog Day". Kurthish: Did someone leave their cats indoors? >He thought that all that time on the exercise wheel has really >paid off. He looked at the sky and noticed that it was sunset. Kharlosa: (as Bill Cosby) It's six o'clock. Gotta get home before the monsters come out. (The others snicker) >He knew he had to get home fast, otherwise Laura would come home >and find out that he was missing. > Kurthish: Better hope she doesn't find the clubhouse. >As Hamtaro started to head home, he heard a scream. He realized that >someone was in danger. Could it be that something really exciting >was happening, or was he hearing things? Phibrizzo: (Hamtaro) Either Laura's getting chased by a runaway raccoon, or Boss just got sent into low Earth orbit. >Without any delay, Hamtaro darted off to the direction of the >scream. As he got closer, he had been hearing a cat's meow, >possibly an angry one. Kharlosa: (snaps) Helloooo! Over here! Phibrizzo: Technically, you aren't a cat. Kharlosa: (under his breath) I still look like one, boss. >Hamtaro got worried that a cat has been chasing one of the >Ham-Hams. Regardless of who he she is, he had to do something. Kurthish: Wait until he she is safe before you do anything about him her, Mr. It They. >When he got there, he discovered that Bijou was chased up a tree. >She was losing her grip as she felt so tired being chased for at >least a half-hour. Phibrizzo: I didn't think hamsters could run for that long. Kharlosa: You think maybe those exercise wheels are just training them for the real thing or something? >One of her paws got stuck in a tiny hole in the tree while she was >climbing, possibly due to panic. One of her blue ribbons was >getting lose with her excessive sweating. Kurthish: Do hamsters have sweat glands? Phibrizzo: (annoyed) Blast it, Kurthish. I'm a mazoku, not a zoologist. >She get really scared and Hamtaro got worried. The cat that chased >her was mainly black with gray around its paws and mouth. The cat >licked its lips as it prepared for its meal. > Kharlosa: Why would it do that? Kurthish: Hey; it's a gray area. Phibrizzo: (under his breath) Puns ahoy. >Hamtaro couldn't take it anymore as he suddenly accelerated at the >cat. As it focused on Bijou, who was quickly losing her grip on the >tree, it didn't realize that it was going to get attacked. Phibrizzo: (laughs) Mighty Mouse vs. Cat: The Saga Continues! >Hamtaro was running to the cat at full speed with no slowing down. >Then, with all his strength, he jumped up and made a swift tackle >to the cat's midsection. Kurthish: ...and the cat glared down at the annoying little rodent and decided to add it to the menu. >The force was so strong that it made Boss have the strength of >Penelope. The cat made a really painful meow as it got knocked over >suddenly by Hamtaro's powerful tackle. Kharlosa: (shocked) I don't believe it! My theory about the wheels is correct! Phibrizzo: (British accent) It's a simple matter of weight ratios. An eight-ounce hamster can *not* carry a one-pound coconut! >Bijou managed to get her paw unstuck from the tree's tiny hole and >carefully climbed down. Hamtaro went to the fallen cat to see if it >was still alive. Kurthish: It's a cat, you're a Ham-ham. *Yes,* it's still alive. >He was worried that he might have actually killed it, something he >really didn't want to do no matter what. Bijou tried to follow >Hamtaro, but he gave a quick hand signal telling her to stay where >she was in case the cat was still alive. Kharlosa: A rodent takes down a cat? I am not going to say anything to that. Kurthish: This is what happens when feeding your pet hamster vitamins goes horribly wrong. Phibrizzo: Watch; Hamtaro's probably going to destroy Laura's room and assert his dominance. > >Hamtaro took a look at where he tackled the cat. There was a bump >that was barely noticeable on its black fur. He couldn't figure out >how he did it and why. Kurthish: Superiority complex? >He didn't have the time to think about that as he saw movement from >the cat's tail. Bijou started to get scared again as she slowly >backed away from it. Phibrizzo: (Bijou) Aaah! The tail's scaring me! Get it away! >She didn't realize that her ribbon was really loose because she was >so scared. The cat's eyes suddenly opened up as soon as Hamtaro saw >them. It quickly got up and was about to pounce Hamtaro. Phibrizzo: Then it noticed that he was of a rare species of hamsters known as "spamsters" and wisely backed off. Kharlosa: You've been reading "The Far Side", haven't you? >Bijou suddenly screamed and got so scared, she ran to a nearby >bush, her loose ribbon falling off on the way. > >The cat tried to pounce Hamtaro, but he jumped up and poked its eyes >with his paws. Kurthish: (Larry) I've got my eyes closed! Kharlosa: (Curly) Oh, a wise guy! Phibrizzo: (Moe; smacks them both) You birdbrains. Kharlosa: (high-pitched) Nyyuuck! >The cat got surprised by this and could only get angrier. All that >Hamtaro could think of doing is outsmarting the cat. And so begins >a game of cat and hamster. > Kurthish: And so far, the score is Hamtaro: 2, and cat: zippo. >As the cat chased Hamtaro, all he could think of is how to outsmart >it rather than try to hurt it as he did before. The first thing he >did was to kick jump off a tree to change direction. Kharlosa: (as tree) Oh sure. I like being kick jumped from behind by an orange and white hamster....about as much as I enjoy frostbite. >It seemed to confused the cat as it thought Hamtaro climbed up the >tree. When it turned around, it couldn't find him anywhere. It >didn't realize that Hamtaro was hiding behind a small rock, Phibrizzo: Well? What do you say, boys? Kurthish: Okay. All: (pointing at something off-screen) Hey, cat! He's behind that rock over there! >but it started sniffing around just in case. Behind the small rock, >Hamtaro was thinking of how to get rid of the cat without hurting >it unlike earlier. He then spotted a nearby stream and remembered >how he outsmarted another cat like that. Phibrizzo: Took a lot of work to make those signs that say "Cat food" and point them towards the stream. Kharlosa: It's obvious. You've definitely been reading that comic. Phibrizzo: (chuckles) Your point being, Kharlosa? > >Meanwhile, Bijou was watching all this happen. She was still very >scared and was worried about Hamtaro, yet she was impressed by his >bravery. With all this mix of emotions, she couldn't predict what >will happen. Kurthish: Take two tablespoons of nervousness, one teaspoon of cuteness, and throw them away. Then make some scrambled eggs and enjoy your meal. >All that she could do was to just watch what happens next. > >The cat got closer and closer to the small rock that Hamtaro was >hiding behind. Just as it was about to pounce what was behind it, Kharlosa: A senorita screamed and a pirate ship appeared on the horizon? Phibrizzo: "Hamtaro and the Pirates of the Caribbean." Hmm...has an odd yet catchy ring to it. Good one, Kharlosa. Kharlosa: (waves him off) Eh, frigate about it. >Hamtaro made a dart towards the stream. The cat quickly followed. >Hamtaro ran to the stream as quickly as he could. But he started to >slow down, something was wrong. He was tired from all that walking >and running as he collapsed to the ground. > Kurthish: Yeah, but keep this up and you'll wind up going from zero to sixty in less than two seconds. Kharlosa: Miles? Kurthish: Inches. >Bijou shrieked as she saw this happened and couldn't look anymore. >She got really scared as she might possibly lose a true friend. > Phibrizzo: A true friend? Sounds more to me like false advertising. >The cat started to make its pounce on Hamtaro. But the timing was >all wrong. The earlier hit and eye pokes have started to take its >toll as it lost its balance and started rolling all the way to the >river. Kurthish: (singing) "Rollin'...rollin'...rollin' to the river..." Kharlosa: Somehow, I knew he was going to start singing. >SPLASH! The cat couldn't swim as the totally exhausted Hamtaro >watched it float away. When Bijou heard the splash, she opened her >eyes and saw that the cat was gone, and Hamtaro was still there. Phibrizzo: And somewhere out there was an escaped panther from the zoo, wondering if it should've sent one of its stronger subordinates. >Still, she was so scared. But she couldn't just stay where she was. >She had to go to Hamtaro to she if he was really OK. > >Hamtaro was breathing heavily as he got totally exhausted. Finally, >something exciting happened for the first time in days. Kharlosa: Depends on whether or not you call a return to form "exciting". Phibrizzo: You mean he wasn't always cute enough to cause cavities? Kharlosa: Evidence points to Nermal as the teacher of the form. >Now he just wished everything would return to normal. He wanted to >find Bijou, but he could barely move. "Hamtaro," called a voice. >Hamtaro easily recognized the French accent and knew it was Bijou. Phibrizzo: I have the feeling we'll be hearing those two names a lot over the course of this story. Kurthish: Huh? What? I can't hear a thing. Phibrizzo: (rubs his head) And I have the feeling the two of you will be the source of a major migraine. Kharlosa: Can we just watch this? >She came to him and picked him up. She asked, "Hamtaro, are you >OK?" "Bijou...I'm... all right," Hamtaro replied in between >breaths. "I was so vorried about you Hamtaro." "I was worried about >you too." Kurthish: Being "vorried" and being "worried" are two different things. >"I know. You were so brave." "Ah, it was nothing," Hamtaro said >jokingly. "I could easily take on ten cats." "It zure didn't look >easy." "You could say that again." Kharlosa: (Groucho Marx) You're just wasting your breath, and that's no great loss, either. >Both of them were laughing now, but Bijou got worried again. >"What's wrong Bijou?" Hamtaro asked. "I think ve should get to our >owners," she replied. Phibrizzo: (Bijou) It's bad enough that they took the valls away. Do you vant them to take away the nest, too? >"You're right. But I'm so tired." "Yeah, I could tell by vat. I'll >stay here vith you Hamtaro." "Thanks Bijou. You are so nice." Bijou >blushed at this. She wanted to stay to make sure he'll be all >right. Kharlosa: After clobbering a tabby cat? He better be! Kurthish: Let it go. >But Hamtaro noticed something missing. "Bijou... your ribbon is >gone." Hamtaro saw that Bijou's ribbon was missing. She dropped it >from being so scared. Until now, she didn't realized this. "You're >wright Hamtaro. I got to find my ribbon," she said. Phibrizzo: (chuckles) Hamtaro Wright. Rumored to have been with the Wright Brothers on the day they had their first airplane flight. Kharlosa: Guess Hamtaro's ancestors are more widespread than we first thought. > >Bijou set off to find her lost ribbon. She was not sure if Hamtaro >was going to help her, but maybe she might try asking. Bijou turned >around and looked at Hamtaro. Hamtaro wondered why she stopped. Kurthish: (Bijou) I like you, and I really think you should scram. >He thought that she might need help finding her ribbon. So he >asked, "Could I help you find your ribbon?" "Sure," Bijou answered. >Hamtaro started to walk, but fell down a few steps later. Kharlosa: The "Random Fall" program in his brain must've activated. Kurthish: Only turns on whenever he impacts a heavy object. >"Here, let me help you," Bijou said. She helped Hamtaro get up and >held his paw as they went to find her ribbon. Now they were both >blushing, but they didn't mind. Phibrizzo: Yeah. Who cares about high blood pressure? All we care about now is that high-energy action can be extremely risky. > >When Bijou spotted her ribbon, she let go of Hamtaro's paw and ran >up to her lost ribbon. Hamtaro just sat down and watched, not sure >what's going to happen next. Kurthish: Come on! Smash it! Stomp it repeatedly! Show that ribbon what for! >Bijou was looking at her ribbon in a teary-eyed way. She just >remembered something, a dream she had a while back. Kharlosa: (Bijou) Someone hit me with a moon pie, ordered a pizza, and called it love. I think I feel a song coming on! >She looked at Hamtaro. "Is there something wrong Bijou?" he asked. >Bijou shook her head and replied, "No. I'm just fine." Hamtaro >wasn't really sure if something was really wrong with her or not. Phibrizzo: There's a flea the size of your head standing right behind you. >He walked up to Bijou and looked at the ribbon she was holding. >Then he thought of something to ask. Without hesitation he asked, >"Could I tie your ribbon Bijou?" Kurthish: (Dilbert) I'll invent my own knot! A rebellious, audacious knot! Like this and this! Ha ha ha! >Bijou blushed at this. She realized that her recent dream was >finally coming to life. She smiled and replied, "Yes Hamtaro. >Please do so." Kharlosa: (Bijou) And vhile you're at it, senor, please fetch me a cheese danish. And make it snappy. >She gave Hamtaro her ribbon as Hamtaro swept some dirt off it and >got started in attaching the ribbon to Bijou. she happily closed >her eyes as she played the dream in her mind. > Phibrizzo: (Bijou) Oh, come on! I had the remote control *right* *here!* Vhere is it?! >In her dream, Bijou was on her way to the Ham-Ham Clubhouse. She >wanted to know how the others were doing there, especially Hamtaro. >Then suddenly, from out of nowhere, she got tripped over a rock. Kurthish: The rock laughs hauntingly and sneaks away to trip someone else. The Phantom Rock has struck again! >Her ribbon became loose. Hamtaro saw this happen as he was heading >for the clubhouse. He ran up to Bijou and wondered what's wrong. >"Hamtaro... I got tripped over a rock and my ribbons got untied," Kharlosa: So what are you saying? That they're fit to be tied? Kurthish: "I got tripped"...? Lady, no one helped you. You tripped on your own, you hear? >Bijou said while crying. Hamtaro knew he had to do something to >help a fellow Ham-Ham, especially Bijou. So he got started tying >the ribbon that was attached to Bijou. He learned to tie the >ribbons by watching her owner Laura do so, Phibrizzo: (warningly) If I hear another "Ranma" joke out of you two... Kharlosa: I wasn't going to say anything. >so it was no problem for him tying the ribbons. Once he was >finished, Bijou stopped crying and realized the Hamtaro tied her >ribbons. "Thank you Hamtaro," she said and hugged him. Kurthish: (strains) Can't...breathe... >She was so happy and Hamtaro was glad to make her happy. "Could I >walk you to the clubhouse?" he asked. "Zure Hamtaro," was her >reply. Phibrizzo: (dramatic voice) Zure Hamtaro: the "Stupendous Man" of nature! >They both held hands as they made their way to the Ham-Ham >Clubhouse. > >"...Bijou," Hamtaro said, "I'm finished." Kharlosa: (darkly) The first right thing you've said all morning, you know that? >Bijou nearly fell asleep as Hamtaro finished attaching her ribbon >and tied them. He has no problem as he learned how to tie ribbons >by watching Laura do them on her own hair Kurthish: You ever try being "normal", pal? Phibrizzo: (sighs) Kurthish, no pet is "normal". For all we know, Ein's been holding Mahjongg tournaments on the "Bebop" each Friday night. Kurthish: ...Never mind. I don't want to think about it. Phibrizzo: Good. >He was sure he made Bijou smile as she just did. "Hamtaro... you're >so sweet," Bijou said as she blushed. Hamtaro blushed in reply. He >wasn't exactly sure of what Bijou meant by that. Kurthish: (Majin Buu; sing-song) Me eat you up! Me eat you up! >He thought that being so sweet was meant as in candy, so he then >said, "Bijou, I'm not really edible." (Kurthish and Phibrizzo laugh at this for a few seconds) Kharlosa: Ah, the idiocy of youth. It makes me wish I had breakfast before I got here. >Bijou giggled at this. "No silly. I mean being sweet as in being >so kind to me," Bijou corrected. "Oh," Hamtaro said with a sweat >drop. He knew that he was very helpful to the other Ham-Hams, Phibrizzo: ...except for the time he sent Oxnard rolling down the hill on top of that empty "Sprite" can... >but what he didn't realize was that Bijou liked him more than just >a friend. > Kurthish: She liked him as a practice dummy. >Hamtaro looked at the sky and saw that the sun was getting out of >view. He then saw a nearby bench and discovered that Laura was >sitting next to a guy. Kharlosa: Wake up, Laura. Look who you're sitting next to. Waaaaake...uuppp... >He remembered that Laura was talking to him about how she liked a >guy named Travis and said that she'll soon reveal her crush to him. >Hamtaro didn't exactly know what a crush is, Phibrizzo: It's sort of like Indiana Jones running through that cave and trying to keep one step ahead of the boulder. >but he figured it was something like how Sandy liked Maxwell. He >then assumed that the guy that Laura was sitting next to was Travis. > Kharlosa: Didn't he play for the Detroit Tigers once? Kurthish: Who? Kharlosa: Travis. (2) Phibrizzo: (whispers to the fanfic) Laura, you fool, get his autograph! >Bijou also looked at the sky as she wanted to get a better view of >the sunset. "Hamtaro..." she began to ask, "would you like to see >the sunset?" Kurthish: (Hamtaro; snores) >Now Hamtaro was starting to realize that Bijou liked him more than >a friend, so he decided to play along with this. "Sure," he replied >happily, "anything to make you smile." Bijou was blushing more than >ever. Kharlosa: Maria has been feeding her too many of those sugar cubes. That can't be good. >She knew that Hamtaro was realizing that she had a crush on him. > >Hamtaro started to climb up a tree as Bijou followed. Hamtaro then >sat on the highest stable tree branch with Bijou sitting next to >him. Phibrizzo: (singing) Stare at the sun. What do you see? Kurthish: With vision like that, there's no need for venetian blinds. >They were both watching the sunset. "It's beautiful," Hamtaro said. >"It zure is," Bijou replied, looking into his eyes. It seemed like >the perfect time to tell Hamtaro how she felt. "Hamtaro, there's >something I want to tell you," Bijou began. Kharlosa: (Bijou) However, since I have decided to hold you in contempt of court, I'm going to save it for later. >Now Hamtaro was paying full attention to her, knowing what she's >going to say. "I... love you..." she continued, "I fell in love >with you ever since you sang that song to me." Kurthish: The theme from "Alvin and the Chipmunks?" Phibrizzo: (cringes) That name! >Hamtaro discovered that it was the sing that made her love him in >the first place. He thought she liked Boss the entire time, but >since he was told that she liked him, he was surprised. "Bijou... >I love you too," Hamtaro answered in reply. > (Dark energy starts leaking off of Phibrizzo and Kharlosa) Kurthish: Amazing. Cuteness *can* kill you in excessive quantities. Phibrizzo: (darkly) Not another word. Don't flaunt your resistance to cuteness. Do you understand me? >The two hamsters got closer to each other now they have admitted >their love to each other. Hamtaro wasn't sure what to do next, but >Bijou now got the idea of the next thing to do. Kharlosa: (Bijou; as Akane) Hamtaro no loco baka! (pretends to swing a mallet) Kurthish: (mutters) Only you would consciously combine Spanish and Japanese in the same sentence, Kharlosa. (Phibrizzo growls under his breath) >She closed her eyes and brought her lips closer to his. He figured >this out and decided to so the same. Their lips got closer and >closer until they connected. They were now engaged in the kiss. > Phibrizzo: (mutters angrily) Gag me with a spoon. Kharlosa: What about a tick? Kurthish: Or a "justice sandwich"? Phibrizzo: (angrily) Shut up, Shut Up, *Shut Up!* >Nearby, two hamsters were watching this. They were hidden behind >some shadows, as they aren't seen. "I can't... believe this," one >began, "how did Hamtaro get the girl like that?" Kharlosa: Here's a hint. (meows) Phibrizzo: It's not going to work, Kharlosa. >"Uh... how should I know?" the other said in reply, "I just have my >sunflower seed. That really matters." The formerly mentioned >hamster was annoyed at this and yelled, "All you care about is that >silly sunflower seed." Kurthish: And I will hug him and love him and call him "George". >"Huh...well, I don't mind splitting my sunflower seed with her," >the latter hamster said. "Bah!" was the former's only reaction to >this, "I still don't know how he got the girl, I should ask him >tomorrow." Kharlosa: (meows indignantly) Take a hint! Phibrizzo: (stops leaking energy) Shut up, Kharlosa. It's not working. Kharlosa: Hmph. I still say it was worth it. > >Bijou lets go of the kiss and felt really happy that it happened. >"Wow!" she said, "that was wonderful." Hamtaro nodded in response >and asked, "Could I walk you home... girlfriend?" Kurthish: (Bijou) No, you may not. And my name's "Bijou". Phibrizzo: ("Juicy Fruit" guy) Whoa. De-nied. (3) >"Oh sure... boyfriend," Bijou replied. Both of them laughed as they >got down from the tree. Hamtaro took Bijou's paw and they both >walked to her house. > Kharlosa: (singing) So you got a heart of gold...that don't impress me much. (stops leaking energy) >When they arrived to her house, Bijou gave Hamtaro a good-bye kiss, >which was a soft one to the lips. Hamtaro blushed and she watched her go to her cage. He was about to head for his house when... Phibrizzo: (Bijou) You're going novhere, man! Kurthish: (to himself) Well, if that don't beat all... >"Hamtaro..." Bijou said. Hamtaro paid full attention to his new >girlfriend. "There's just one more thing I would like you to do," >she continued. "What could that be Bijou?" he asked in reply. Kurthish: (Bijou) Would you mind dancing the Macerena? You know... for old times' sake? >"Oh..." she began to ask," could you sing that song to me?" Hamtaro >know what she meant. He remembered the song that he sang to her to >help Boss. Phibrizzo: (Pet Shop Boys; singing) What have I...what have I...what have I done to deserve this? >He decided to sing that exact song to her, "Oh chick-ah chick-ah >chick-ah, when your in a jam Kushi kushi kushi, remember I'm your >ham Kharlosa: Ham, ham, ham, sausage, egg, and ham... Phibrizzo: (darkly) Don't do that song. Understand? >Badda-badda-badda, when you need a man Oh Kushi kushi kushi, >remember I'm your ham." Kurthish: Proof that when a hog writes a song, he uses a lot of oink. (The others groan at this.) >When he was finished singing, Bijou began to clap. "Oh Hamtaro, you >are so wonderful singing that song," Bijou applauded, "no wonder I >fell in love with you in the first place. I love you." Kharlosa: All right, now say it again. And this time, you're not allowed to lie. >"Thanks Bijou," he responded, "I love you too, forever and always." >They waved good-bye to each other as Bijou blew a kiss to him. > Phibrizzo: (Bijou) Blast it! I messed up again! I guess there's just no way to kiss correctly. >Hamtaro arrived to his house. He entered the same way he exited. >He was able to make it to his cage in time. Laura just arrived home >just after he did. Kurthish: (Laura's mom) By the way, honey, I came upstairs to dust and I found that your hamster's cage was empty. Did you take him to school or something? >She was feeling incredibly happy as she entered her room. "You >won't believe what happened today Hamtaro," she began, "I told >Travis how I felt and discovered that he felt the same way." Kharlosa: Big whoop. Phibrizzo: Yes. Big whoop. One that can shrink like a deflated balloon, but a big whoop nonetheless. >In Hamtaro's mind, he said 'Yeah Laura, I saw you with him. I'm >glad to see that happening.' "Oh Hamtaro, would it be so cool if >hamsters had relationships of their own?" Kurthish: Depends on where you are if it happens. Say, for instance, you proposed to the Ice Queen of Furinkan High's---- Phibrizzo: (cracks his knuckles) A-hem... >she asked. 'Sure, you read my mind,' Hamtaro's mind continued, 'I'm >glad to have Bijou become more than just a friend, as in girlfriend. >I wonder how much more special it is to have a girlfriend.' Kharlosa: It's no different from video games. Some people spend too much time around them, too. >"Well Hamtaro, today has been especially exciting. I wonder what >will happen tomorrow," she said. 'Heke' was Hamtaro's response. >Finally, he had a exciting day and can't wait to meet his new >girlfriend tomorrow. > Kurthish: And he couldn't wait to get rid of those hiccups, either. Kharlosa: Amusing, but shouldn't Hamtaro's squeaks sound more like squeaks? Phibrizzo: (gives a relieved sigh) For a moment, I thought you were going to do that dance from the closing credits. Kharlosa: (to Phibrizzo) Don't give us any ideas, boss. >(End of story notes: I hope you enjoyed this Hamtaro/Bijou romance >story. Please send in your reviews. It would be helpful if you posted >your rating ranging from 1 to 10. Remember this it's only the first >chapter, so keep an eye out for the second chapter soon.) > > Kharlosa: 3... Kurthish: 2... Phibrizzo: 1... All: Zero! Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Chapter Two >Hamsters in Love by DVGBA > >(Start of story notes: I have read your reviews from the previous >chapter and I would like to respond to each of them. First to >Melody, I can tell that you're angry because this is not a Boss/ >Bijou romance story. Kharlosa: And the funny thing is, an angry review was composed in the form of a question. Kurthish: Seriously? Kharlosa: Nope. >To be honest, I think Hamtaro and Bijou go better together. I'm >sure to get that right. But don't lose your hope, there might >possibly be some Boss/Bijou references down the road and maybe in >the next chapter as you will see. Phibrizzo: The reference: Boss likes Bijou. Moving on... >And next time, pry the caps lock off the keyboard. Kurthish: So *that's* what happened to the "Scotch" tape! >To chichiri, yeah Hamtaro and Bijou are a really cute pair. They >seem to get along very well. There are so many hints that they like >each other on the show. Phibrizzo: (Chichiri) I really think hamsters are great, you know. Kharlosa: (Chiriko) Uh, Chichiri? Nakago's looking at us funny. Phibrizzo: (Chichiri) Tough. >To Snowcravr, it's great to see you review this story. Just please >lose the caps and excessive exclamation marks. Kurthish: Hats off to you. >To TurquoisePhoenix, you made a beautifully done review as well. >It was good to see you be honest in your review. Kharlosa: Today marks the first day of using lie detection tests in conjunction with fanfiction reviews. Obviously, someone passed. >I'm sorry that the beginning didn't catch your attention fast >enough, but I tried my best. Yeah, it did drag on quite a bit, but >I felt that the rest was put together well. And this next chapter >is also put together just as good as the last one. Phibrizzo: (disgusted) There better not be many more of those chapters out there. Kharlosa: Methinks the monster lord hopes for too much. >Finally to Forte, yeah it might have been a little drawn out. I'm >not perfect, at least I tried. Thanks for your review. (Kharlosa takes out a harmonica and plays it softly) Kurthish: (singing quietly, off-key) Forte's got the blues...got to rock, roll, and rush...things are gettin' mega, man...please no more reviews, hush-hush. (Kharlosa stops playing the harmonica and puts it away) >Before I begin, I discovered a couple of overlooked errors >yesterday. I'm on to fixing them ASAP. Finally, without any farther >delay, the story continues...) > Phibrizzo: Here's a simple way of correcting a mistake: highlight the whole file and hit Delete. Kurthish: Don't forget to type a random string of characters, first. Kharlosa: And whatever you do, don't freak out. >The next day, Hamtaro woke up from a beautiful dream he had about >Bijou. He was so happy about yesterday, especially when Bijou became >his girlfriend. He waited patiently for Laura to get up and go to >school. Kharlosa: (Laura's mom) Sounds like a pretty nasty cold you've got there. I suggest that you stay in bed and get some rest. >The alarm clock had already went off twice in a 20 minute period as >she slept through both of them. Hamtaro was concerned that Laura >was late. "Laura," her mom called, "you're going to be late >again!" Phibrizzo: From the creators of "Recess" comes "Detention". >From then, Laura realized of the time. "Oh no," Laura complained, >"not again!" She was usually like this, waking up late and just in >time for the bus to arrive. All: (indignantly) *Calllvinnn!* Kharlosa: Scenes that are forgetable, yet somehow worth remembering. >She reminded herself not to stay up late, but that was weeks ago. >She would always forget to go to sleep on time, always >'communicating' with Hamtaro at night. Kurthish: (as Crunk) Squeak squeakity-squeak...uh, squeaker...yeah, this hamster's had it pretty rough. Says that a talking llama gave him a really hard time yesterday. >Laura struggled to get ready, but was able to get out in time... >without eating breakfast. When will these kids ever learn to eat >before leaving? Laura's family needs to invest in cereal bars. Phibrizzo: The side comments of the author may not necessarily reflect the views of the characters. Kharlosa: Now, a comment on why so many people in the neighborhood have hamsters as pets...now, *that's* something worth saying. >Well, anyway... After Laura left for school, Hamtaro decided to >head for the Ham-Ham Clubhouse. As he left the house, he thought >that maybe he should head for Bijou's house first. After all, she >is Hamtaro's girlfriend. Kurthish: So what? (Phibrizzo stifles a snicker) >So he instead went to her house. > Kharlosa: Preoccupied, he never saw the real estate agents approach the front door of the house. >Bijou was sleeping peacefully in her cage as Maria was about to >leave for school. She didn't just go to any school, she goes to a >private all-girls school. Phibrizzo: And because she goes to a private all-girls school, no one else is allowed to know what kind of programs they have there. Kurthish: (singing) How do you solve a problem like Maria... >"Well, I have to go now Bijou," she said, "I'll see you after >school." And so Maria left. > >Hamtaro made his way up the tree that was sitting near the window >where Bijou's cage was. He looked at her sleeping peacefully. Kurthish: Need a bugle? >He was not sure if he could wake her up or not as she seemed to be >asleep. Kharlosa: Wonderful. I hadn't known that before. Phibrizzo: (announcer) Um...have we said that Bijou was asleep? >Just as he was leaving, Bijou woke up, looked at Hamtaro and said, >"Hamtaro, you have came?" He stopped in his tracks and replied, >"Oh, yes I did Bijou. I wasn't sure if you were going to wake up or >not." Kurthish: Well, then you should've hired a scout just to make sure. Phibrizzo: (snaps) You leave that trash outside the theater! Kharlosa: He was talking about a normal scout, *not* the one that runs around throwing frisbees and badly rehearsed speeches. Phibrizzo: (calmer) Oh. My mistake. >"Oh, well, I'm up Hamtaro," she said and yawned, "you're so sweet >to zee me before you came to zee clubhouse." She got out of her >cage, came up to Hamtaro, Kurthish: (Bijou) Vake up! >and rubbed her cheek against his while making a 'schmubby-wubby' >sound. Phibrizzo: (slaps his forehead) Paaiinn! Kharlosa: Obviously. >Hamtaro returned the favor and asked, "So, shall we head for the >clubhouse, girlfriend?" "Zure thing, boyfriend," Bijou replied >before Phibrizzo: --distracting him with the "Hey, what's that up there?" routine and going on ahead. >taking Hamtaro's paw. They both walked to the Ham-Ham Clubhouse. > >At the Ham-Ham Clubhouse, Boss and Oxnard told the other Ham-Hams >about how they saw Hamtaro and Bijou together. Kurthish: (Peppermint Patty) It is the most ridiculous story I've ever heard in my life...(yells) *but I believe it!* >They were all gathered around the round table, paying attention to >what Boss and Oxnard were saying. "...and there I saw Hamtaro and >Bijou, sitting on a tree branch. I couldn't believe my eyes," Boss >continued. Kharlosa: I'll give you that trim for your cage tomorrow, okay? Phibrizzo: (Boss) Yeah, sure. Whatever. >"And I suppose that they were smoochin'," Howdy said, "man Boss, >now you must be angry at Hamtaro for stealing yer' girl." Kurthish: (Boss; pulls out a shovel) No, I'm not angry. Whatever gave you that idea? Nope. Definitely not angry. (tosses the shovel off-screen) >"Oh, Howdy. Put an acorn in it," Dexter commanded as he 'adjusted' >his glasses, "Bijou never belonged to Boss to begin with. And >speaking of that, I bet Pashmina would like me more than a dirt >spreader like you." Kharlosa: I wonder what Mark "The Bird" Fidrych would say to that. >"You take that back!" "Why I never." "HEY... nobody messes with >me!" With that, Howdy and Dexter engage in a fight, cleverly >covered by a 'cartoon cloud.' Everyone sweatdropped. Phibrizzo: All right, move along. Move along. Nothing more to see here. Come on. Let's go. >"Umm... should I break up this fight?" Pashmina asked. "Nah," >Boss replied, "these two threw themselves in their own argument. >They obviously try too hard." Kurthish: Must be quite a mean feat, being able to throw themselves. Phibrizzo: The windup, and the pitch...and I've been hit to center field! >"Speaking of trying too hard," Sandy added, glaring at Stan as he >got closer to Pashmina. "Hey beautiful," Stan started, "how about >we ditch this group while we have lunch together?" Kharlosa: (Stan) The first step to doing this is to put a sombrero over their heads and make a run for it. >Pashmina blushed and thought about it, sadly her thoughts was >interrupted as Dexter poked his head out of the 'cartoon cloud' >and yelled, "Stan, you're going to pay for messing with my dear >Pashmina." Kharlosa: (mutters) Yeah, like Ranma's gonna pay for upsetting Akane. Phibrizzo: Strike one. >Howdy also poked his head out of the 'cartoon cloud' and yelled >back at Dexter, "You fool, Pashmina was never your dear to begin >with!" Kurthish: To quote Harry Truman, "The buck stops here." Kharlosa: (slaps his forehead) D'oh! >Strangely, the 'cartoon cloud' moved to Stan and pulled him in. >"Oh brother..." Sandy sighed. "So anyway..." Boss continued, "when >I saw Hamtaro and Bijou kiss... and on the lips, I felt so... >so..." Phibrizzo: The next day... Kurthish: (Boss) So...so...so...I give up. Can we try this again? >"Heartbroken?" Oxnard added and started to laugh, "oh man, you >should've seen the look on Boss' face. He was so angry at Hamtaro." Kurthish: (Elmer Fudd) Ooooh, I'll get you, you wascally wodent! >"HEY!" Boss yelled at Oxnard, "I do NOT think that being >heartbroken is a funny thing at all. How would you like it if YOU >were heartbroken?" Phibrizzo: About what, not having two snacks in-between meals? Kharlosa: Have *you* ever been heartbroken, boss? Phibrizzo: We don't have hearts, Kharlosa. You know that. (to himself) Where'd Metallia go, anyway? >Boss was really steamed now. He couldn't take it anymore as he went >to his bedroom and slammed the door. > >"Woah! That was uncool," Sandy said, "I haven't seen Boss that >mad since all of us were messing up the place." Kurthish: (Sandy) Can't believe we decided to watch the World Series at the clubhouse. >"I have to agree with you Sandy," Maxwell added, "he really can't >get over the fact that Hamtaro is with Bijou, or so we know." >Suddenly, the entrance to the clubhouse opened. (Trumpet fanfare plays in the background) Phibrizzo: Where'd that come from? Kharlosa: Who knows? Must be one of those mysteries of life. >"Well, there's your fact now," Sandy concluded. Hamtaro and Bijou, >the lovely couple, just entered the Ham-Ham Clubhouse holding each >other's paw. "Ooh, look at the lovely couple," Kurthish: Make me. >Pashmina said as Hamtaro and Bijou blush. Penelope replied with a >"Ookyoo!" Phibrizzo: (Brak) So I guess sounding cute makes you feel like Miss Big Stuff? Kharlosa: (Penelope) Ookyoo! Phibrizzo: (Brak) Is that your answer to everything? Kharlosa: (Penelope) Ookyoo! >"Huh?" Hamtaro got confused, "how did you guys know this?" "Well, >let 'Oxnard' explain about what happened yesterday," Maxwell >answered as he pushed Oxnard to Hamtaro and Bijou. "Wait, Oxnard >saw us together?" Bijou wondered. Kurthish: He must know that they put him up to that "Risk" game. >"Uh..." said Oxnard trying to prove his innocence, "I was not the >only one. Boss pulled me into this. Honest!" "Hmm..." Hamtaro >confirmed, "I should believe Oxnard on this as we all know that >Boss liked Bijou." Kharlosa: When the "Gossip Train" gets started, hope there's an empty car on the track somewhere. > >"Umm... before Oxnard explains," Sandy said, "let me drag these boys >out of the fight. This is totally uncool." Phibrizzo: (Moltar) *Most* uncool. >With her ribbon, Sandy effortlessly pulled Stan, Howdy, and Dexter >out of the 'cartoon cloud' one by one and in that order. (Kurthish does the "Kodachi" laugh) Phibrizzo: Strike two. >"Hey, no fair," Howdy complained, "I was winnin' that fight." "Oh >hush Howdy," Dexter backfired, "you WERE the one who started all >this." Kharlosa: You WERE the one who glued the exercise wheel to the cage. You WERE the one that likes to argue, because *I* said so! >Stan looked at the lovely couple, Hamtaro and Bijou, and commented, >"Well, it looks like love is in the air." Phibrizzo: And it's extremely intoxicating. (strained) Medic! >Hamtaro and Bijou blushed. "All right then," Maxwell began, "now >that things are in order. I suppose Oxnard should begin explaining >what happened last night." Kurthish: Before you do, imagine that you're one of the lead characters in the long-lost Shakespearian play: "Hamletaro." >Everyone looked at Oxnard. He suddenly got nervous, nibbling his >sunflower seed before starting to speak, "OK... here's how it >went..." > Phibrizzo: (Oxnard) ...so there I was, fighting against this large white monster with purple spots, when all of a sudden my fur turned yellow... >Flashback to yesterday, Oxnard was the last one to leave the >clubhouse as he started to head home, sunflower seed in hand. He >hasn't seen Hamtaro since he helped him find his sunflower seed, Kharlosa: But it wasn't just any sunflower seed. No. It has the special ability to *regenerate itself!* Kurthish: No wonder he's always seen eating it. It keeps coming back! >but he didn't mind as he was going home anyway. As he started to >go home, he heard a scream and got totally scared. He was so scared, >that he dropped his sunflower seed as he rushed back. Phibrizzo: A foot of snow falls in the neighborhood that night. >He wasn't sure of what it was, but still he scurried back to the >clubhouse as quickly as possible. > >Inside the clubhouse, Boss was tidying things up after another >typical day. Kurthish: (yawns) Another day, another fight, another argument, another nickel...where's this "dollar" I've heard so much about? >He hasn't seen Hamtaro since he went out for a walk earlier today. >He was sure he was already home by then, so he really didn't worry >about it that much. Although Bijou commented on finding Hamtaro if >possible, Boss thought he was just hearing things. Kharlosa: You can probably get a decent hearing aid for fifty pesos. Phibrizzo: Find him! No, no, no, rodent. "Simon Says" find him! That's better. >There was silence in the clubhouse, until Oxnard's wailing was >heard. He had just bursted thought the door and hid under the >table. Kurthish: And if doors could think, they'd think that "bursted" is a funny word, too. Phibrizzo: Hey, why's that door trying to hide? There's nothing to be afraid of. >"Oxnard," Boss yelled, "what are you doing back here?" "Well.. >ell... uhh..." Oxnard stuttered, "I he... heard... a sc... scr... >scream..." "Oh, come on. You must be hearing things." Kharlosa: All ten of them. Kurthish: (as the Count) You know why they call me the Count? Because I like to count...things. >"I'm... se... ser... serious!" "I'm sure it was nothing. Now head >home and I'll see you back here tomorrow." "Bu... but... I lo... >lost... my sunflower seed..." Phibrizzo: Tremble in fear as the sunflower seed...*screams!* >"Ugh, must I do EVERYTHING myself?" > Kharlosa: (Oxnard) No. You have someone else running the clubhouse while you're out throwing leaves at sewer grates. >Both Boss and Oxnard exited the clubhouse in search of Oxnard's >sunflower seed. Boss made sure that there was no scream as Oxnard >found his sunflower seed and started hugging it. Kharlosa: Oh, now this is just pathetic. Just eat the stupid thing already! >"Oh, I was so worried about you," cried Oxnard as he was 'kissing' >the seed. Boss thought that Oxnard became too emotional about the >seed. (There is a silence within the theater. Kurthish finally breaks it) Kurthish: (singing) Eat it...eat it...don't you make me repeat it... >"You see," Boss reminded Oxnard, "no scream." Boss ended up >speaking too soon as the scream was heard. He recognized that the >scream had a French accent to it and discovered who it was. Kurthish: (looks at Phibrizzo) His mind's snapped. Kharlosa: He has a mind? (Phibrizzo suddenly screams angrily. Oddly enough, his voice has a French accent to it) Kharlosa: Never mind. We know who it is now, compadre. >"Oh no," he gasped, "Bijou's in danger!" He started to head towards >the direction of the scream. "Hey," Oxnard complained, "wait for >meeeeeee!" Oxnard followed Boss. > >Boss and Oxnard looked out of a nearby bush and discovered that >Bijou Phibrizzo: (calmer) ---had an odd fondness for karaoke. >got one of her paws stuck in the tree while climbing. She was >chased by a cat made mostly of black fur with gray around the paws >and mouth. Kurthish: So it's made of fur. Anything else? I guess not. >"Uhh... Boss," Oxnard started to ask, "are you going to save >Bijou?" "Yeah," Boss answered, "I've got a plan." Kharlosa: (Boss) It involves getting away from the cat, but it's still a plan. Right? >Boss and Oxnard turned away from the scene and before they >discussed the plan, a painful meow was heard. Oxnard got scared and >nearly yelled before Boss covered his mouth. Phibrizzo: (chuckles) So you're afraid of pain, even if it's of someone you hate. Terrific. Kurthish: Actually, I can relate. Phibrizzo: You can? Kurthish: Yeah. When *you're* in pain, you wind up hurting *us*. Phibrizzo: (annoyed) Ok, fine. I'll take it back. >"You don't want to attract attention," Boss reminded and took a >look from the bush. He discovered that Hamtaro was there and >started to get annoyed. Even more shocking was that HE was the one >that tackled the cat. Kharlosa: Sitting el Toro thinks that reminders of idiosyncrasies are the worst reminders of all. >Boss was more surprised than annoyed, but that quickly changed. >"Wow," Oxnard said, "I never knew Hamtaro was that strong. How'd he >do it?" Kurthish: Pick up your free copy of "The Common Housepet's Guide to Weight Lifting." >"Err... I don't know," Boss said, "maybe it was a lucky shot. >Nothing can bring a cat down like that." All: *Ha!* >Oxnard was watching this with a sense of fear like no other. When >he saw the cat got back up, Oxnard suddenly cowered. Surprisingly, >Boss did the EXACT same thing. Both of them now thought that >Hamtaro was toast. > Kurthish: With the fake butter. Kharlosa: I can't believe it, either. >The scene was quiet for a while. None of the two wanted to look at >what happened to Hamtaro. "You go out there and see what happened," >Boss commanded. Phibrizzo: And while you're at it, check the mail. He's supposed to be getting his own checking account soon. >"No way," Oxnard complained, "I'm not going to suffer the same fate >as Hamtaro." "Fine," Boss said, "be a baby." Kurthish: (Boss) Are you a man or a mouse? Phibrizzo: (Oxnard) Um...should I answer that? >Boss looked out of the bush to see a downed Hamtaro quite a >distance. He discovered that the cat was no longer seen. "Strange," >Boss began, "Hamtaro is down, yet that cat disappeared." Kharlosa: (annoyed) Okay, we've established that it's impossible for a palm-size rodent to take on an el gato one-on-one. *Moving on...* >"Uhh..." Oxnard was taking a guess, "maybe the cat fell into the >nearby stream. Remember that time?" Oxnard was right. Boss >remembered when Hamtaro had to rescue Penelope, who couldn't keep >up with the others as they were chased by a cat. Phibrizzo: They cheated! They had a fifteen meter head start! >Boss felt like a weak hamster whenever he remembered this. He wish >he could get rid of cats the same way Hamtaro did, but he'd always >get nervous and/or scared at the last minute. > Phibrizzo: (disgusted) Then rent a miniature steam shovel or something. Just leave me alone! >Boss saw Bijou come up to Hamtaro and picked him up. Boss wasn't >sure what was happening. He tried to listen to the conversation >carefully, but the sound of Oxnard nibbling on the sunflower seed >became a distraction. Kharlosa: And what happens to a distraction that gets annoying? Kurthish: They achieve record numbers at the box office? Kharlosa: (growls) You're confusing "distraction" with "attraction". Kurthish: Huh. >"Oxnard, Boss asked, "would you please stop with the nibbling? I'm >trying to listen here." "Oh, come on Boss," Oxnard complained >again, "I'm hungry." Phibrizzo: (Boss) Oh. Well then, maybe...(yells) *You could eat that thing somewhere else?!* Kurthish: (reaches over and pats his shoulder) Easy, boss. >Boss became annoyed as Oxnard continued nibbling on that seed. He >figured that the ONLY way to get rid of that 'noise' was to kick it >away from Oxnard. It was the only way. "I'll show you hungry," Boss >said and kicked the seed off of Oxnard, (Everyone cheers the action) Kharlosa: Way to take the initiative, Boss-ham! >"that'll show you not to eat when I'm TRYING to listen to what's >going on here." "HEY," yelled the furious Oxnard, "why'd you do >that?" "I already told you why you big crybaby. Don't you ever >listen?" Kurthish: (Bijou) Huh? Guys, is that you? (non-chalantly) Oh, forget it. >"You better bring that sunflower seed back to me." "No way!" "Oh >yes you will." "I'm not going to waste time like this. YOU should >get that seed yourself. I'm staying!" "Oh yeah?" "YEAH!" Kharlosa: What about Yeah? He has the answer to everything, that's what. >Oxnard and Boss engage themselves in a fight, cleverly covered by a >cartoon cloud. Unfortunately, the loser was Boss as he was thrown >out of the bush. Phibrizzo: (chuckles) P-a-thetic. The Boss has gotten fired by someone lower on the organization chart: Oxnard. >Boss was surprised to witness such power from Oxnard. "Ugh," >mumbled Boss in partial pain, "I need to exercise more." Oxnard >poked his head out of the bush and yelled, "and you get that seed >back to me!" Kurthish: (Oxnard) I have paws of feathers, and I'm not afraid to use them! >Boss was surprised as he has been starting to get bossed around by >an always hungry hamster. Boss didn't really have much of a choice >but to recover Oxnard's sunflower seed. So he searched for it. Kharlosa: And ate it himself. Phibrizzo: Accept if he ate it himself, wouldn't the seed just come back? Kurthish: Well, at least it gives Boss a hobby. > >Meanwhile, Oxnard was glad to get Boss off his fur for once. He >decided to look at the scene outside discovering that Hamtaro was >attaching a blue ribbon to Bijou. Kharlosa: (quietly) And here we see one of our operatives. He is attaching a tag to a captured hamster and releasing it back into the wild. >Oxnard thought that he wished to do something like that. But now >he started to grow impatient, and hungry as well. He decided to >pass the time by going to sleep. > Kurthish: After all, what better way to cure your impatience and hunger than by taking a catnap? (The others snicker at this.) >Boss woke Oxnard up. "Here's your stupid sunflower seed," Boss said >as he tossed the seed back to Oxnard, "now get out of my sight." >Oxnard was excited to have his sunflower seed and nibbled it >happily. Kharlosa: Let's see. A hamster with a sunflower seed, another with a hard hat. One's an obsessive romantic, the other's a wimp. Which would you rather be with? Phibrizzo: C: None of the above. Kharlosa: Correct. Five points. >Boss sweatdropped as he saw this. He didn't realize of the amount of >time he spent recovering it. Now he really wanted to know what's >happening outside. When he looked from the bush, he saw nothing. But >he heard some conversation. Kurthish: (random hamster) Hey, did you see yesterday's basketball game? Phibrizzo: (random hamster) Nah, I had to work at the plant today. How'd it go? He looked up to see that Hamtaro and Bijou were sitting on a tree branch. They were really close. "Wha..." Boss became surprised, "I don't get it." "Get what?" Oxnard asked. "Oh forget it," Boss said in reply. Kurthish: (chuckles) If you can't get it, forget it. > >Hamtaro and Bijou were both sitting next to each other on the tree >branch. They were both watching the sunset. "It's beautiful," >Hamtaro said. "It zure is," Bijou replied, looking into his eyes. Phibrizzo: (Hamtaro) The sunset sure is nice, isn't it? Kharlosa: (Bijou) Sorry, I was looking at that dime someone left on the sidewalk. Did you zay something? >It seemed like the perfect time to tell Hamtaro how she felt. >"Hamtaro, there's something I want to tell you," Bijou began. Now >Hamtaro was paying full attention to her, knowing what she's going >to say. Kurthish: (Bijou) There's this huge bug on your head. >"I... love you..." she continued, "I fell in love with you ever >since you sang that song to me." Phibrizzo: (snarls) We know. It was so eloquently pointed out to us a chapter ago. (snaps) Idiots. Hamtaro discovered that it was the sing that made her love him in the first place. Kharlosa: Sing. That's the thing, king. >He thought she liked Boss the entire time, but since he was told >that she liked him, he was surprised. "Bijou... I love you too," >Hamtaro answered in reply. > (A black aura flares into being around Phibrizzo and Kharlosa) Kurthish: (singing) When the moon hits your heed like a sunflower seed, that's a'more... Kharlosa: No, that's stretching for a rhyme if I ever heard it. >Boss' jaw dropped as he witnessed this happening. He couldn't >believe his eyes and ears. He thought he was having some sort of >nightmare, so he desperately 'trying' to get out of the 'nightmare' >by saying, Phibrizzo: (Popeye) Open, says me! >"Please make this stop!" Unfortunately, it was no use because it >was real. He now saw Bijou and Hamtaro kiss each other on the lips. >Boss was sure he was doomed. Kurthish: Doomed to hitch a ride on the Mallet Express. Phibrizzo: (screams; grabs Kurthish and hurls him off-screen) *Strike Three, you're out!* >"I can't... believe this," he said, "how did Hamtaro get the girl >like that?" "Uh... how should I know?" Oxnard said in reply, "I >just have my sunflower seed. That really matters." Kharlosa: One rodent that can't take a hint. >Oxnard continued to nibble that sunflower seed. Boss was annoyed at >this and yelled, "All you care about is that silly sunflower seed." >"Huh... well, I don't mind splitting my sunflower seed with her," Kharlosa: Try splitting a sandwich. That should fool me. (Kurthish returns and sits down) Phibrizzo: (startled) How'd you recover that quick? Kurthish: The catcher dropped the ball, and the runner reached base safely. Nice try, boss. (Phibrizzo growls dangerously under his breath) >Oxnard said. "Bah!" was Boss' only reaction to this, "I still don't >know how he got the girl, I should ask him tomorrow." > >"...and that's how it all happened," Oxnard finished. He couldn't >believe he HAD to explain all this. Everyone listened to all this, >well except for Boss that is. Kharlosa: He was busy listening to the Lightning Seeds. >He was still in the bedroom, all heartbroken and stuff. Phibrizzo: (still upset) Yeah...and stuff. >There was now total silence as Oxnard gave out every last detail, >he didn't have a choice. "Well," Maxwell broke the silence, "we >should all be glad you explained this to us." Kurthish: (Maxwell) But we're not. You want to know why? Because we just aren't, that's why. >"I'm still surprised that you and Boss were..." Hamtaro said, but >he couldn't find a word to describe what Oxnard and Boss did. Phibrizzo: (still sore) Fighting? >"...eavesdropping," Maxwell explained, "it's when you listen in on >other people's conversations." "Oh, I get it now," Hamtaro said. >"Now vat are we supposed to do now?" Bijou asked. Then, a voice was >heard, Kurthish: (Palpatine) There is a great disturbance in the Force. We have a new enemy: Hamtaro...Vader, stop laughing at me. This is serious. >"I think you need to talk to Boss. He needs to understand how much >you love Hamtaro." The voice was Snoozer, always sleeping and >always listening in on what everyone said. Kharlosa: I oughta try that sometime. Fall asleep, listen to what everyone says...nah, I couldn't. Too much effort on my part. Kurthish: I wonder how Snoozer manages it. >"Snoozer is right Bijou," Pashmina said, "I think it is a good idea >to talk to Boss. He has to understand this you know." "You're >wright," Bijou said, Phibrizzo: (moans) So Pashmina's ancestor knew those guys, too? Kurthish: Amazing how widespread the family line is. >"I have to talk to Boss. It is zee only way he could understand." > >Bijou went to the door of the bedroom and knocked on it. "Who... >who is there?" a voice asked. "Boss," Bijou said, "it's me. Cou... >could I come in?" "Please do so," Boss answered, Kharlosa: (Boss) Go on ahead. The window's open. >"the door is unlocked." Bijou opened the door and looked at >Hamtaro. "Bijou," Hamtaro said, "I love you." Bijou blushed and >replied, "I love you too," Phibrizzo: (groans) It's a pint-sized version of the whole "John... Marsha" routine. >before entering the bedroom and closed the door. Hamtaro wasn't >sure what was going to happen next. The others weren't so sure >either. > Kharlosa: And the eternal response to that statement is: "Who cares?" >(End of story notes: And so chapter 2 comes to an end with many >questions waiting to be asked. Phibrizzo: Will the author realize what was done by turning this thing loose on the public? Kharlosa: Will the Ham-Hams meet up with Barney and the Teletubbies in "The Tournament of Insanity"? Kurthish: Will more questions wait to be asked? >I just realized that Cappy and Panda never spoke a word in the >story yet. Strange... trust me, they're in the story, it's just >that they didn't speak yet. I hope you leave me a review as well as >the rating of the story so far. I would love to hear your comments >on this.) Phibrizzo: (darkly) No, you wouldn't. What I have to say would make deaf people run for the hills. Kurthish: Guys, lose the auras. Others: (snapping) Why? Kurthish: The heat is degrading your joke quality. (The others growl angrily, but they stop glowing anyway) > > ------------------ (1) --- I did not make this up. (2) --- With this I'm referring to Travis Fryman, a former 3rd baseman. He was basically your average pro baseball player, but Kharlosa and Phibrizzo don't know that. (3) --- Who is that guy? He looks familiar. Comments and constructive criticism: supreme_cat@hotmail.com Flames: Have you tried baking soda? To be continued