WILDCAT SCIENCE THEATER 3000 Episode One "The Blue Bomber" Original story created by DragonShadow. MSTed with permission. Story MSTed by G.A. Wildcat (Fanfiction.Net alias: Curtis Wildcat) The usual stuff goes here: Mystery Science Theater 3000 is property of Best Brains Productions. Besides the fact that Mobius, Dr. Robotnik, Tails, and Sonic are associated with Sega, I'm not sure who else is connected to them. E-mail me if anyone knows, if they're connected at all. This shall apply to all future MSTings. For future reference, Curtis Wildcat is a 5'10 tall, male, overweight calico cat with a sharp attitude and a shape-shifting sword to match. He is also my creation, so don't use him without prior permission, comprende? Real time, this takes place in the Y2K. ------ (Inside a ship shaped an awful lot like the Satellite of Love, a disoriented Curtis Wildcat suddenly appears on the bridge in a purple flash of light) Wildcat: Wha....what's going on? One minute, I'm resting after that huge fight, and now, here I am! (blinks) Of course, I've seen worse, but still... (Wildcat looks about him for a few seconds, taking in his surroundings) Wildcat: I repeat....what's going on? Someone HAS to be watching me. (An overweight man with an orange mustache appears on a nearby monitor. What appears to be a miniature tank-like R2-D2 with a drill for a nose and a giant robotic chicken are standing behind him in the midst of a laboratory-like background.) Man: Welcome aboard the Satellite, Wildcat. Wildcat: (unbelieving) Wha.....Robotnik?! But....how did YOU become involved? (blinks, and shakes his head) I think I'm better off not knowing. Just tell me what I'm doing here. Robotnik: Quite simple, actually. The planet Mobius, which is right outside your fleet's territory, was home to the Hedgehog known as Sonic, which those video games on your home planet have made popular. However, I've finally got him caged in, and I've been searching recently for new targets to acquire and new methods of abduction to enforce Your legend has reached out among the stars, Wildcat. You should be proud of that. Wildcat: (angrily) Just what am I doing aboard this.....satellite? Robotnik: I used one of my more recent inventions to teleport you from your Mansion on Earth. No one will ever know. As a matter-of-fact, everyone there has forgotten that you exist. (Wildcat begins trembling with anger) Robotnik: Also, since the communications on this ship is only short-range---in other words, only long enough to communicate with us---there is no way to get a message back home. Therefore, you're effectively trapped. Wildcat: (hisses) You're lying! Robotnik: (shakes his head; grins) No, I'm not. This is for real, Curtis Wildcat. (Wildcat turns his back on the monitor and looks down on the floor sadly) Robotnik: Thirdly, I'm going to be forcing you to view various movies from your home planet which I myself find terrible. I'll be doing this once or twice each week, depending on the length of the movie, so I hope you're ready. (Wildcat faces the monitor again, tears brimming on the edge of his eyes as he struggles to control his temper) Robotnik: (chuckles) Relax, Curtis. You won't be alone. Wildcat: (suspicious) I won't? Robotnik: (chuckles again) No. (looks at the chicken) Scratch, beam up Acquisation #1. Scratch: (confused) Which button do I hit? Robotnik: The green one, Scratch. Scratch: (confused) But all the buttons are green! Which one do I press? Robotnik: (sighs) Never mind. I'll do it myself. (reaches over and taps a button) (Within seconds, a young orange fox [about half-way caught up with Wildcat, height-wise] with twin tails materializes next to Wildcat. He stumbles momentarily, but then grips the edge of the control panel) Fox: (weakly) I'll....get you for....this.... Robotnik: (laughs) Hardly, Tails. Without Sonic to help you out, and without any way of reaching Mobius, you're nothing. Tails: (cries) NO! Sonic.... Wildcat: (snaps) Kid! Snap out of it! Tails: (blinks twice, then focuses on Wildcat) Who are you? Wildcat: Name's Wildcat. My friends----or rather, the friends I used to have on my home planet----call me Curtis. (turns to Robotnik) Is that all? You plan on tormenting myself and this....KID...with bad movies from Earth? Robotnik: Yes, pretty much. Anyways, it's time I sent you the first film. Tails: And what is this "first film"? Robotnik: About a month ago, I discovered a storage depot from Earth's Internet full of outlines of films, stories, and such. I've drained the majority of them and have turned them into actual movies, even using my Time Accelerator to snag some from the future. Your first one is a Megaman film entitled "The Blue Bomber", orginally created by an author named "DragonShadow". All you have to do to get into the theater is to enter that hexagon-shaped door behind you. The film will pause when both of you leave, and will restart again when one of you reenters. You won't be able to leave while the movie's in progress for more than 5 minutes at a time, just so you know. (glares at them) So don't get any ideas. Wildcat: (sarcastic) Thanks a lot. Now, stop blabbering and lets get a move on. Robotnik: No problem. Grounder, send the film. Grounder: (enthusiastically) Yes, sir! (taps a blue button with the edge of a drill) (Almost immediately, the sirens on the Satellite begin wailing. Tails follows Wildcat through the hexagon door) - 6: The front doors to the Pizza Parlor slide open. 5: A castle door slams onto the floor. 4: Small bubbles float upwards through a small ante-chamber. 3: A typical Megaman boss door rises open, bottom-to-top. 2: Several light-blue glowlamps light your way towards the next door. 1: The typical vault door, embedded in walls remniscent of the original "Metroid" mazes, turns and opens to your right. - (Tails and Wildcat enter the theater. Wildcat takes Tom Servo's seat, and Tails takes Joel Robinson's seat [I like Joel better than Mike, anyway. No offense, but....]) Mega Man 1: The Blue Bomber Wildcat: How sad. Mega-Man walks though the halls of Doctor Lights lab. He could hear the commotion up ahead from scientists and civilians running in panic as robotic laughter rings through the halls. Wildcat: (Terminator) I'll be back. Tails: What are you doing? Wildcat: Making fun of the film. Feel free to join in whenever you want. He speeds up into a swift run as he nears the end of the hallway and leaps into the front office, lifting his cannon and scanning the room. Cut-Man is behind the counter looking at the computer screen, but he looks up when Mega-Man enters. "Who are you!?" Cut-Man leaps over the counter and stands facing him, fists clenched and at the ready. Wildcat: (Will Smith) Your first, last, and only line of defense against the worst. "I'm giving you three seconds to leave before I blow you to bits." Mega-Man says, leveling his arm canon right at Cut-Man's head. Tails: (videotaped crook from Home Alone) 1......3! Wildcat: You saw that movie? Tails: (laughs) You got it! Cut-Man laughs a bit and thrusts his head forward, sending the scissors on top of it flying at him in a spin. Mega-Man simply fires one shot, incinerating the scissors in mid flight. "Get out of here!" Wildcat: (Cut-man) Where's 'here'? Cut-Man glares at him as another pair of scissors appear on his head. "So you want to play?" Wildcat: All work and no play makes Mega-Man a dull robot. He rapidly starts flinging scissors at him in droves, dozens coming for him within seconds. Mega-Man tries to take them all down, but several gets past his shots and nail him, cutting huge gashes in his armor and sending him reeling back into the wall. "Foolish little droid." Cut-Man sneers and throws one more blade straight at Mega-Man's neck. Tails: (Threepio) I suggest a new strategy, Cut-Man. Let the blue guy win. Wildcat: (various R2-D2 beeping noises) "Ragh!" He throws one hands up, knocking the blade aside as the cost of putting a huge gash in his lower right arm, sparks fly from the wound like mad. Mega-Man raises his cannon and returns fire now rapidly, trying his best to tag Cut-Man, who almost desperately tries to dodge the blast. Most of them go wide, putting holes into the walls and completely incinerating the counter. Finally one blast nails Cut-Man square in the chest, throwing him back against the wall hard, where he crumbles weakly to the floor. Both: HAMMER-TIME! "Uhn..." Cut-Man tries to get up again as Mega-Man pushes off the wall and approaches him, looking down at him. Wildcat: (Cut-Man) ----cle. "I warned you." He raises his cannon and fires one more time into his chest. Cut-Man yowls a bit in surprise before his systems power down and he goes totally limp. Doctor Light comes out of the hallway and takes a look around. Wildcat: (yowls) "Well... You got him at least. But next time, be more careful of your aim." Mega-Man looks around at the rubble, the vast majority of it caused by his own cannon. "Uh... Yeah. Sorry about that." His hand slides out of his lower arm as his cannon powers down. "Hmmm..." Doctor Light approaches Cut-Man and opens up a compartment in his head, poking through the wires and chips. "Wily must have reprogrammed all six of the prototype androids... Tails: (Mega-Man; as Data) I'm afraid that is so, sir. And we're out of chips. "You mean ALL of them are like this?" "Perhaps the world isn't ready for this technology quite yet." Light says a bit regretfully as he removes one specific chip from Cut-Man's head. "Hmmm... Interesting. Let me see your left arm." Mega-Man shows it to him and he opens up a small compartment, inserting the chip. "Now try your cannon." Wildcat: (SPC's Princess Vi) TRY IT! TRY IT! NOWWW! "Something's different." Mega-Man says as he activates his cannon and fires it at a nearby chair. A scissor blade flies out and slices the wheels off of it. "Whoa." Wildcat: (Brak) Giddy-ap there, horsey! "Doctor Wily used one chip to enable the robots to use their internal power resources as a weapon. This chip can also give you their powers if you can get your hands on these chips." Tails: (Mega-Man) Sour cream or ranch? "So all I have to do is find the remaining five robots and take them all down. It shouldn't be THAT hard." Wildcat: (Dr. Light) No, all you have to do is run into there and blast them all to pieces. No need to overlook the stones falling on your head. No need to at all. Tails: (Mega-Man; sarcastic) NAW! Really?! "Doctor Wily is an evil man, and he's one of the foremost geniuses on robotics. There may only be five cyber-humans under his control, but he undoubtedly has countless robots helping him." "So I find them, neutralize them, and find Wily before he can cause more mischief." "Basically. And there's a two way radio built into your arm cannon so you can contact me at any time." Wildcat: Remind me of that later in the film, Tails. I want to be ready. Tails: Gotcha. "Right. Now, where are the others?" "They're being sought after as we speak. We'll find them soon..." ________________________________________________________________________________ Mega-Man walks into the frozen mountain. One of Wily's cyber-humans had been spotted here, attacking travelers and mountain climbers. Obviously, it was likely Ice-Man hiding somewhere up here. He looks around him cautiously as he walks, pushing his way through the windy mountains, on the lookout for anything that might attack him. Finally he reaches another section of the mountain and gets ready to climb before he hears a loud thumping sound behind him. Wildcat: "Things that go 'thump' in the night...." Both: "Tonight on National Geographic!" Slowly he turns to look behind him and sees a huge robot coming towards him. One huge crystal eye on it's top as it springs forward with one giant spring, the rest of it built almost like a spinning-top. Wildcat: I always had trouble in that game with that robot. Tails: You have it stored somewhere, or something? I'd might as well get used to Earth-made games. Wildcat: Yeah, maybe later. Mega-Man leaps to the side just before it slams into the mountain, the force of the impact throwing him to the snow hard, but he quickly gets to his feet and turns to face it, bringing his cannon up as his hand withdraws into it. He fires three shots, each impacting the thing with tremendous force, blowing sections of it completely away, but still it keeps coming at him, lurching its way along. "Crap..." Mega-Man leaps back again as the things lands right where he'd been standing, still firing as rapidly as he can with his plasma cannon. The thing was visibly being torn into pieces, but this seemed to have surprisingly little effect on it. "Enough of this..." He reaches down with his other hand and pushes a few buttons on his cannon, switching its property. He raises it again as the thing leaps toward him again and fires a pair of scissor blades at it. Tails: Listen to the scissors. Wildcat: Aren't you glad the prices are going down? Tails: Good commercial. They both strike the single leg that was hopping toward him, severing it completely. He still has to leap aside though as the thing crashes to the ground in a shower of sparks, still trying to move, but having no way to make itself move. "Wily... Making life hell for the rest of us." Wildcat: You just described my whole life, pal. Tails: Ditto. Mega Man walks right up to it and fires a single plasma blast into the single crystal eye, shattering it as the thing powers itself down. "Not bad stranger." Mega-Man whirls and sees Ice-Man perched on a nearby boulder, watching him. "Not bad at all." "The name's Mega-Man." He turns to face Ice-Man head on now, his hand still drawn into the cannon on his left arm. "Mega-Man." Ice-Man smirks at him a bit. "What pre-schooler thought THAT name up?" Wildcat: The same pre-schooler that later went on to create Megaman X. "Ggrrr..." Mega-Man growls a bit under his breath, clenching his right fist. "You shut up! Why are you doing all of this? Attacking people and following Doctor Wily?" Tails: This follow-the-leader game is getting kinda boring. "Because." Ice-Man shoves himself off of the boulder, facing him fearlessly. "We're better than the humans. Doctor Wily is going to help us make this world for our own kind." Wildcat: Kind of what? "No. We owe our lives to them. Without them, we wouldn't exist." "Oh well... I guess they served their purpose..." Ice-Man suddenly flings his arms up, a sudden blast of cold wind catching Mega-Man off guard and hurling him back into the snow hard. "Ugh..." Mega-Man gets quickly back to his feet. "That was a cheap shot!" He raises his cannon and opens fire, but Ice-Man rapidly dodges him. Tails: (begins chirping) Wildcat: (laughs) "You're not gonna hit anything firing blind!" Reaches above him, an ice spike forming in his hand. He hurls it at Mega-Man as hard as he can. "AGH!" Mega-Man cries out in pain as the spike catches him in the side, sending him twirling to the snow. "Uhn..." He clutches his side where sparks are flying out. Wildcat: (laughs) You have a point. "Ooohhhh did you think I would be a pushover little robot?" Ice-Man walks up and towers over him. "Pathetic." "I'm not... A robot!" Wildcat: (Mega-Man) I'm a rock. Tails: That's his name? Wildcat: Long story. Mega-Man whirls onto his back and aims his cannon straight at Ice-Man's head in one swift movement. "I'm Mega-Man!" He fires, the plasma bullet easily tearing through Ice-Mans head, cleanly decapitating him. His headless body falls slowly to the snow. Tails: Every head needs some body. Wildcat: (moans) I think I just lost yesterday's post-dinner snack.... Mega-Man slowly gets to his feet, holding onto his side a bit painfully as he lifts his cannon and presses a few buttons on it. "Doctor Light. Can you hear me?" Tails: That's your cue, Wildcat. Wildcat: (As Mega-man; makes a cannon noise a few seconds later) So, how are things going----*boom*----ah! Connection's busted! Tails: That's it? Wildcat: Straightforward and simple. Doctor Lights voice comes through clearly. "Yes Mega-Man. What's going on?" "I've beaten Ice-Man... But I've taken damage..." "Return home immediately." "Okay." He cuts off the transmission and turns to leave, but thinks better of it and turns back to Ice-Man to dig through his body parts. Finally he finds the power chip and quickly installs it into his own cannon before turning to leave. ________________________________________________________________________________ "Hmmm..." Wily stands over a screen with the image of Mega-Man leaving the field of battle. "This Mega-Man... It looks similar in design to the prototype cyber-human... It could be dangerous to my plans." Tails: But not to you. "Ice-Man was a weakling." Elec-Man says beside him. "So was Cut-Man. He'll never defeat us four." Wildcat: And a big hurrah if he does. "For your sake, he'd better not." Wily turns off the monitor now, Mega-Man was already gone. He needed to get rid of this thorn in his side. He'd already blasted down both Cut-Man and Ice-Man... "Guts-Man!" Wildcat: (Guts-Man) Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum.... "Yes doctor?" Guts-Man approaches him. Tails: (Guts-Man) I smell the circuitry of an English-bot. "Go to Doctor Lights lab and attack before this Mega-Man can fully recuperate from his battle with Ice-Man." "Yes doctor." Guts-Man turns to leave. ________________________________________________________________________________ "Agh!" Mega-Man cries out again as Doctor Light tries to re-wire the damaged parts of his system. "Hold still!" Doctor Light says irritably for the hundredth time. Wildcat: Good. He finally said it when Mega-Man WAS moving. "Stop doing that!" He groans a bit as Doctor Light digs around some more. "Sometimes I wish you hadn't made me able to feel pain..." "What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger." Wildcat: No, what doesn't kill me only delays the inevitable. Let's am-scray. (Wildcat and Tails leave the theater, and rejoin on the bridge) (1...2...3...4...5...6) - (We then see the two of them seated at the table. Wildcat is resting his head in his left paw.) Tails: So, who are these "Pizza Cats"? Wildcat: Felines that run a pizza business, and do some samurai-ing on the side. They have a variety of weapons, like ninja stars, heart-shaped bombs, some real mean swords, plus a really fantastic robot they call on in emergencies. Tails: So, they're....ninjas? Wildcat: In a certain sense. Tails: Last question: who's their most common victim? Wildcat: (switches armrests; chuckles) Victim, huh? It used to be the "Big Cheese", who was a really important guy in the city, but things have changed now-a-days since the Pizza Cats sent him into exile. My crime-fighting group's been helping them out against an overseas company that specializes in ballistic weaponry, run by an old rival from my educational days. (looks around a bit and mutters) Where is a refrigerator when you need one? I don't think I've eaten in ages. Robotnik: (over speakers; no image) There's a food processing unit near the bridge. I can have it turned into a refrigerator, if you want. Wildcat: (looks at the speakers for a moment) If I'm not mistaken, Robotnik, you're making my life both happy and miserable. Robotnik: Well, how else am I supposed to keep you alive while you're watching these films? And by the way, boys, there's also a sink next to the 'fridge and a couple of shower stalls down on the deck below you----- (Alarms sound) Robotnik: Whoops, there goes the alarm! (chuckles) Enjoy the rest of the movie, dust mites. I'll send you the full explanation once the film's over. Wildcat: Tails, you go on ahead. I'll be back in a few minutes. (Tails enters the theater) - (6...5...4...3...2...1) - (Tails takes his seat) "I feel pretty weak right now..." "Nonono. What that means is now you know to not be so cocky and fire blindly at your opponents. Or they can strike back accurately while you're missing." Tails: (to himself) Did I miss anything? "Huh..." Mega-Man lies there staring at the ceiling curiously. Suddenly the entire building seems to shake itself as they hear a huge booming sound. A voice comes over the speakers. "Emergency, emergency! Guts-Man is attacking the lab!" Tails: (tv athletic show host) If you've got the Guts, then you've got Guts, man. "Guts-Man..." Mega-Man says, sitting up suddenly. "You're in no condition to fight! Lie back!" Doctor Light pleads. "No. I'm going to take him down!" Mega-Man leaps off the table and runs for the door. "No Mega-Man! In your injured state... You don't have a chance!" Tails: And you don't have Jake or a Turbo-Kat, either. Mega-Man keeps running through the hallways, heading in the direction of the startled screams and frightened yells. Finally he finds Guts-Man in the same room where he'd fought Cut-Man. (Wildcat re-enters the theater, holding a large Slurpee in one hand and a chili dog in another. He hands the chili dog to Tails) Tails: (takes it) Thanks. Wildcat: No prob, kid. "Freeze!" He raises his cannon and aims it at him. Tails: (King Kai) STAY AWAY FROM FRIEZA! "Huh?" Guts-Man turns to face him. "You? You're the pipsqueak who tried to attack me before!" He bursts into laughter. Wildcat: GIMME MY MOTORCYCLE! Tails: Where'd you hear that? Wildcat: Old novel about some mouse in a hotel who was given a toy motorcycle by a boy. Kinda cool. "You shut up!" Mega-Man fires a shot, but Guts-Man simply takes it square in the chest, flinching slightly, the metal of his chest looking a bit blackened, but otherwise unharmed. "Better luck next time..." Guts-Man picks up the desk and hurls it at Mega-Man before he has time to react. The desk slams into him, carrying him backwards into a wall. Tails: (Desk; whiny) As you are my witness, someday I'll be a table lamp.... "Agh!" Mega-Man shoves at the desk, pushing it off of him. He gets to his feet and fires again, with similar results. "Mega-Man!" Doctor Light runs into the room. "Your cannon won't have any effect on him, he was built to withstand force!" (Wildcat slurps down part of his snack, then pretends to throw crates at him with one hand) Wildcat: No Force will work. Tails: (Luke Skywalker) I will not fight you, father. (takes a bite out of the chili dog) "So how do I defeat him!?" "You don't!" Guts-Man lunges forward and catches Mega-Man by the throat, lifting him easily off the ground. "THIS is the one you wanted to protect you? I could eat him for breakfast." He laughs loudly again. Wildcat: (Cap'n Crunch) Mega-Man Crunch! The Crunch that screams "Mega-Man!" (turns to a puzzled Tails) Breakfast star. Mega-Man sticks his cannon into his open mouth with little difficulty. "Eat this." (Wildcat and Tails both flinch) Tails: Uh-oh....(finishes his chili dog) He fires, disintegrating his head almost totally. The huge body falls to the ground as Mega-Man drops to his feet. "Whew..." Wearily he leans down next to the body and fishes out his power chip. "Be careful with that one Mega-Man. It doesn't concentrate a burst of energy, it will eat up your reserves as long as it's active." "I'll be careful Doctor Light." He installs it into his cannon. Both: LIGHT IT UP, BRIGHT BOY! "We can't keep fending off attacking robots and roaming the countryside hoping to run into them, it's time to go on the offensive." Mega-Man gets to his feet now, facing Doctor Light. "Do we know where they are?" Wildcat: Now I wish I had heard of that show sooner. I could be making fun of the episodes instead of the movie. "Yes we do..." He looks at Mega-Man a bit worriedly. "But maybe we should let someone else handle it." "I can do it!" Both: I CAN DO IT! "I know you can... But I don't want anything to happen to you." Mega-Man stares at him for a few minutes. "Doctor Light..." "No, you have to go. This is your destiny. Just be careful... Rock." Wildcat: ("Swat-Kats"' Razor) See you, Rock. I've gotta Roll! Mega-Man is silent for a few minutes, staring at Doctor Light, then nods. "I'll be careful." "Okay." He turns and leads Mega-Man through the hallways. Finally they reach the a control room. "Doctor Wily's fortress is located here." He points to a spot on the monitor, which is displaying a map of the world. "We don't know much anything about it, but there are only three cyber-humans left. Even so that doesn't mean he doesn't have other robot's guarding him." Tails: Definitely dimunutive. (Wildcat looks at him, puzzled) Tails: Tiny. Wildcat: Which is something I'm not.....and that last joke didn't make sense. Tails: Hmph. "So go in, destroy anything I find, and get out." "Basically yes." "Okay." He nods, his hand twitching a bit nervously. "Okay... Good luck Mega-Man." Mega-Man nods a bit before turning to leave the room. Wildcat: (finishes his snack, then shakes a fist at the air) Ha! Beat the buzzer! (tosses the empty cup off-screen into a trash can) ________________________________________________________________________________ Mega-Man steers his speed boat across the water, pushing it as fast as it could go. Three more cyber-humans, Bomb-Man, Fire-Man and Elec-Man. Then he could find Wily himself. Tails: And the mighty adventurer gets himself killed valiantly with no hope of rescue. Wildcat: Darkness, thy name is Miles Prower. He's suddenly forced to veer to the side as an explosion in the water blows him off course. "Crap!" Wildcat: Garbage! He veers wildly, trying to regain control of his boat as more explosions erupt around him. Where were they coming from? He looks around him for the source of the blasts and spots Bomb-Man on another hover bike running parallel to his own. "Wanna play?" He veers sharply, slamming into Bomb-Mans boat, throwing him off course violently, nearly throwing him into the water. Wildcat: (low-pitched; snide) Yeah, you dropped a bomb on me! He quickly rights himself though. "Okay, here, CATCH!" He hurls a bomb at Mega-Mans boat. "Wagh!" Mega-Man veers sharply away, barely avoiding it as it plunks into the water moments before detonating, sending up a sheet of spray. He couldn't return fire, as Bomb-Man was on his right side, while his cannon was on his left arm. So he pushes the boat up to top speed, hoping to even things out. Bomb-Man easily paces him though, as they're in the same kind of bike. Tails: Turbo! Suddenly Mega-Man pushes his boat into reverse, stopping cold in the water, but Bomb-Man wasn't fooled by this, quickly turning and simultaneously throwing another bomb. It lands in the back of the boat, the fuse slowly reaching down. Wildcat: Short fuse! "Oh sh..." He doesn't have time to finish the sentence before the bomb detonates, the blast incinerating the boat and throwing Mega-Man from it into the water. Wildcat: (flattens his ears and hisses) Mega-Man sinks like a stone in the water, but didn't need to breath, so he just let himself drop until he hit the ocean bottom. Luckily he'd gotten close enough to Wily's island that he hadn't sunk too deep, where the water pressure would have crushed him like a tin can. Tails: Know how I'd describe Grounder? Wildcat: An automated tin can. Yes, I know. He stands up on the ocean floor and looks up. He can still vaguely see Bomb-Man's boat floating next to his own. Slowly and carefully he raises his cannon, taking careful aim. Tails: Don't tip the boat over. He fires two scissor blades. They streak through the water like flat missiles toward the boat. All he sees is them connecting before the boat goes up into a huge fireball. His aim had been good, they'd struck the fuel tank in the boat. And likely Bomb-Man had gone up along with it, as the explosion had been too big just for the boat. Wildcat: That was a bomb, stupid! Tails: Easy as blowing fish in a barrel. Wildcat: Get off my land! Tails: You gots to back up offa me. Wildcat: (laughing) Okay, okay. Let's not get Interplay and Sunsoft mad at us with those "A-Bomberman" cliches. Mega-Man smiles a bit as he turns to start the long walk to Wily's Island. It wasn't going QUITE like he'd hoped, but he was getting the job done. ________________________________________________________________________________ Elec-Man stands on the shore of Wily's island, surveying the open ocean. Three of them already confirmed destroyed, and Bomb-Man hadn't yet reported back from his own encounter with this unknown robot. Wildcat: (Elec-Man) I really need to review his efforts on inviting people for tea.... Things were definitely going awry. Doctor Wily was certainly not going to be happy about this, but it was his duty to report it. Tails: (Elec-Man) Sir, It has been terrorizing me again. Wildcat: (Dr. Wily; demented) ZAP IT! ZAP IT! Elec-Man turns away from the ocean and goes into Wily's "castle" which was actually a run down fort from some war a long time ago. The walls and ceilings were on the verge of collapse. Elec-Man smirks as he enters the boiler room, which, with the collapsed hallways and ceilings, was the only was into the rest of the castle. Wildcat: The remains of Fort Sumter. Fire-Man approaches him as he enters. "Keep your eyes open. You're the last line of defense." Elec-Man says. Tails: (Will Smith) So don't fear us, cheer us. If you ever get near us, don't jeer us. We're fearless. "I'll ambush him if he makes it this far." Elec-Man nods and continues on his way. Wily had had very little time to prepare defenses and as such, had only Fire-Man and himself left. He enters Wily's personal chamber slowly, not wanting to anger him. Tails: (Elec-Man) Sir, the Detroit Tigers lost again. Wildcat: (Dr. Wily) Blast! Those Twins just won't learn! "What did Bomb-Man report?" Wily says abruptly. He's sitting on the chair staring at the monitor which displayed images from around the perimeter of the island. "He didn't. He never came back." "Hmm..." Wily takes a coin out of his pocket and starts flipping it through his fingers curiously. "Why do you suppose... This one robot can defeat all six of you?" Elec-Man looks at him curiously. "He hasn't." "Yet... Where did he come from? I have the only seven robots built..." He remains silent now, as does Elec-Man. Suddenly it occurs to the robot that he said "seven" not "six", where was the seventh robot? Tails: Something tells me that we've got a rogue on our hands. Wildcat: And another movie, perhaps. ________________________________________________________________________________ Mega-Man walks up to the entrance of the "castle" that was really just a very old fort. If Wily'd wanted to take over the world there were far better places to do it from. Wildcat: (Mega-Man; as Frieza) Drat. I guess you're a little dumber than the average scientist. Oh well. Two more robots and he could go back home. He enters the main entrance of the "castle" and walks along the hallway. The main stairway ahead looked run down and the ceiling had collapsed, sealing it off entirely. He looks around for an alternate way, spotting a steel door off to the side. He walks over and opens it, stepping through cautiously, his left hand drawing into his arm. Tails: A regular Mona Lisa. On the other side was a boiler room, the heat blasting in his face. He covers his face a bit, that being the weakest section of his body still made from lightweight materials. Wildcat: I've always had a problem with that. The armor that covered the rest of him blocked most of the heat. Mega-Man heads inside cautiously, constantly looking around him for anyone who'd attack him. "Heads up!" (Wildcat and Tails both look up, then laugh) Mega-Man whirls in time to see a huge fireball streaking towards him. It strikes him full in the chest, sending him back and into the floor hard. "Hunh..." He lies on the floor a few moments to regain his senses, then gets to his feet. Fire-Man hops off one of the huge water heaters, landing a good fifteen feet from him. "So you're Mega-Man huh?" "I see my reputation precedes me." (Wildcat hisses) "It does. You surprised the Doctor to no end." "Doctor Wily." Tails: Super Genius. Fire-Man nods slightly. "Enough talk. Let's get this over with." He lunges at Mega-Man, the torches on his arms flaring brightly. Wildcat: (Human Torch) FLAME ON! Mega-Man dodges to the side, then turns and aims his cannon, firing one shot, but it goes wide as Fire-Man lunges to the side, bringing his arms together. A spray of fire engulfs Mega-Man, who brings up one arm to protect his face. Finally the fire breaks and Mega-Man raises his cannon to return fire to see Fire-Man nowhere in site. He looks around him cautiously, checking the tops of the boilers as well. Both: (singing) /~I'm a fool on fire, baby/~/~Hot, hot, hot!~/ Suddenly Fire-Man grabs him by the arms from behind. "Let's see what your melting point is." He aims his torches straight at Mega-Mans head and fires, engulfing him. Mega-Man screams shrilly as the fire torches the more sensitive materials of his eyes. He struggles to push Fire-Mans arms away as the fire keeps on his face, burning him mercilessly. Wildcat: Which reminds me: I wonder who Dr. Robotnik's going to send up here next. Tails: Maybe one of the Pizza Cats. I'd like to meet them. Wildcat: Would be nice, but Polly's got kids to look after. Ivo's too sentimental. Finally Mega-Man brings up his cannon and fires it at Fire-Mans arms. It flash freezes on the spot, the stream of fire finally subsiding. Mega-Man falls to the ground, holding his face in pain as Fire-Man tries to dislodge the ice that prevents him from using his power. Wildcat: (Terminator from "Space Hulk") Burn! Tails: Where'd you hear that? Wildcat: EA released it as a computer game in 1993. Mega-Man groans a bit as he gets to his feet, his face severely blackened and burned, his eyes barely functional. He turns to Fire-Man, who's banging his arms against one of the boilers to melt the ice off of him. Silently he raises his cannon and fires again, the ice blast slamming into his stomach and sending him backward, his chest coated in ice. Tails: Fire-Man on Ice! Wildcat: Starring: Fire-Man! Tails: With a special appearance from Mega-Man as the Artist Formerly Known as Prince! "Grk..." Fire-Man lands on the ground, clutching his chest as the ice penetrates his systems. Mega-Man stands over him, panting a bit and looking down at him. "You've caused enough trouble..." Wildcat: (Jafar) I'm afraid you've worn out your welcome, Prince Abubu. He lifts his cannon and fires again. The ice blast slams into his head, penetrating into his optical circuits. He powers down and goes limp on the ground. Mega-Man takes a moment to dig out his energy chip, then turns and leaves. Wildcat: (Homer Simpson) Oooh, barbeque. ________________________________________________________________________________ Mega-Man walks into the main strategy room of the "castle" and looks around. The metal floor plates and walls were obviously new additions to the ancient fortress. "Where are you Wily?" "The Doctor isn't in at the moment, leave a message." Mega-Man whirls to see Elec-Man leaning against the wall smirking at him. Tails: (office secretary) Just a moment, please. Wildcat: (mutters) "Just walk away." "I can't to that." He pushes himself off from the wall. "I'm loyal to Wily, and I won't just let you take him away." Wildcat: No! Tails: What? Wildcat: Never mind. "Why are you loyal to him? Just because you've been programmed to be. You have no real loyalty, just programmed responses." Wildcat: There's nothing worse than an intelligent robot. Tails: (remembering something) Yeah, tell me about it. Elec-Man stares him down for a few minutes. "Pity... Your time to live is up." He leans down and touches the floor plates. A sudden electrical current runs through the floor, straight into Mega-Man. Tails: Quite a shocking development. Wildcat: Yeah, Pikachu would be jealous. "GAGH!" The electricity surges through him as he struggles to keep his feet. The surge subsides, leaving him standing there, his internal systems going ballistic. "If there's one thing no robot can withstand, it's an electrical current." Wildcat: (thinking) If we ever go up against Robotnik, I'll have to remember that. Tails: Checkpoint #1. He flings his hands forward, the lightning striking Mega-Man square in the chest. He slams into the wall trying to keep his senses about him. "Tell me one thing Elec-Man... Are you enjoying this?" "What?" "Are you enjoying this? I've destroyed all your comrades... You should be thrilled to be able to take me down..." Both: (singing) /~I get knocked down, but I get up again/~/~And you'll never gonna keep me down/~ "Don't try to play with me!" Elec-Man walks up and clutches Mega-Mans throat, sending another electrical surge through his body, this time maintaining it. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" Mega-Man screams loudly as the currently literally tears his insides apart at the seams. Tails: Like the time I ate 12 chili dogs at dinner one time. I couldn't fly the next two days after that. Wildcat: That's called "indigestion". "Good-night... Mega-Man." Elec-Man says, sneering. Wildcat: (Scar) Long live the king. Mega-Man reaches one arm up and grabs the hand around his throat, pulling his hand away from there slowly, the electrical current still running through him. "Wh... What? You should be suffering unspeakable pain!" Mega-Man puts his own hand around Elec-Mans throat, lifting him off the ground with almost no effort. "Thanks for the boost." Tails: Coffee. Never leave home without it. Elec-Man stares at him in surprise, then sees white energy lines spreading through his body like blood vessels. "Guts-Mans energy ship... It's absorbing my electricity and making you stronger... Clever..." Both: Huh? Satellite Computer: Sorry about that. Faulty film. "Good-night... Elec-Man." He quickly brings Elec-Man down, slamming his head into the metal floorplates. His head caves in on impact, sparks flying from him as his systems power down for good. Mega-Man spares a moment to dig out his energy chip and take it before leaving the room. Wildcat: (Dr. "Frank-en-steen") Wait! Where're you going?!......And I was going to offer him espresso! ________________________________________________________________________________ Mega-Man walks out on an outside balcony of Wily's "castle" and finds Wily just looking out over the ocean. Wildcat: (Jim Raynor) Great. Let's get it over with. "Who built you?" He asks simply, not turning to greet him. "Doctor Light." "Alone... You've defeated all six of the robots I'd taken... How?" Tails: (Mega-Man) I blasted each one with a cannon. Need I say more? Mega-Man didn't know how to respond. The armor would be a likely probability, but it didn't seem that was the only reason. "Because I had justice on my side." Wildcat: Along with a Caesar salad. Tails: (Julius Caesar) Et tu, Brute? "Justice..." Wily finally turns to look at him. "You have something on your side, I'll give you that much." "Come on Doctor. Come quietly with me. We can sort this all out." Wily shakes his head and just stares at him. "I have no intention of going to jail. I won't lose next time Mega-Man. I can assure you that." Wildcat: (Elton John) /~/You have the best/~/I promise you that~/ "Next time? Hey wait!" Mega-Man Lunges forward too late to catch him as Wily leaps off the balcony. He arrives just in time to see a blue and golden saucer floating up away from the castle. "Get back here Wily!" Tails: (Mega-Man) Face the power of my ranch-and-cream chips! Wily's voice comes through the loudspeaker. "I'll get you next time Mega-Man. Until then, here's a gift." "Gift? Wha!?" He whirls as he hears several explosions deep inside the castle. "Oh-no!" He feels the balcony beneath him weakening, the heavy stones bowing under their own weight as the entire fort starts to collapse. "AGH!" Mega-Man falls with the balcony to the ocean below where he's quickly swallowed by the waves. Tails: (waving at Mega-Man) Bye. ________________________________________________________________________________ Doctor Light rushes off his boat and onto the island, up to the rubble of what had once been Wily's fortress. "Mega-Man! Where are you?" He hadn't reported back and satellite scans didn't reveal anything. "Mega-Man... Rock... Please speak to me!" Wildcat: He can't speak. He's a rock. "I'm here doctor..." Light whirls to see Mega-Man emerging from the ocean, his helmet had fallen off somewhere beneath the waves, his hair was soaked and matted to his head. There were dozens of cuts and gashes and dents in his armor, sparks flew from him sporadically. Wildcat: Sparks don't fly. But then again, they can't swim, either. "Rock! You're alive!" He runs over to help Mega-Man back to the boat. "I defeated all six cyber-humans... but Wily got away..." Tails: He who gets away gets to be annoying in future movies. "It's okay. As long as you're alright. I was worried senseless when you didn't come back. We couldn't find you anywhere." I'm fine..." Doctor Light helps him into the boat and they ride off across the ocean. "Doctor Light..." Wildcat: (Mega-Man) What were you thinking when you built me, anyway? "Yes?" "Am I just a robot? Could I be... Reprogrammed like they were?" "No. You're more than they were. Much much more." "Huh..." Stares out across the ocean as they ride back to Doctor Lights laboratory. Wildcat: That'll be an idea for discussion in future movies, no doubt. THE END (The screen fades to black) Wildcat: (gets up and stretches) Finally. Good thing that's over. Let's hit the bridge, kid. Tails: Just call me Miles. Or "Tails", if you prefer the nickname. Wildcat: Whatever. (Both leave the theater, Wildcat throwing a ***raspberry*** at the screen on his way out) (1...2...3...4...5...6) (Cut to the bridge. Wildcat and Tails are sitting across from each other, discussing their hobbies.) Wildcat: .....So, you like flying a biplane? Tails: (nods) That's right, Curtis. What do you like to do? Wildcat: I'm an eating machine. Tails: (interested) Really? Wildcat: Get me some food, and I'll prove it. (The viewscreen begins crackling) Wildcat: (puts a finger over his lips) Hush. Texas is calling. (Robotnik appears on the screen. Grounder and Scratch are arguing about something in the background) Robotnik: (grinning mirthfully) So, how did my Dynamic Duo enjoy their first film? Wildcat: (sounding surly) We didn't. Robotnik: (frowns) I thought so. (chuckles) You two enjoy yourself for the next few days, because I have something very special to show you. Wildcat: (sarcastic) The wreckage of the Death Egg? Robotnik: (puts his face closer to his end of the viewscreen) You stop making fun of me, wise guy. Wildcat: (laughs; unmoved by the threatening image) Sorry. Sarcasm has always been one of my strong suits. That first movie you sent didn't even phase me! Robotnik: (ignores him) Well, if I can't get YOU to crack, maybe eventually your young friend will. Tails: (looks at him, upset) What do you mean? Satellite Computer: Locking in orbit around Planet Mobius. Wildcat: (instinct kicking in, albeit a bit slowly) Um....computer, show me what's out there... (The viewscreen reduces Robotnik's image to an eighth of its original size. We now see an overhead view of Sonic and Tails' home planet, Mobius.) Scratch: (in the background) NO! Give back that disk, NOW! Grounder: No! I saw it first! Robotnik: (begins to leave) I have to go. And remember: if something interesting in space comes up, all you have to say is: "Cambot! Rocket Number #9!" You're such a fast learner, you know that? (laughs) Wildcat: I'm not sure whether to take that as an insult or a compliment. (Robotnik's image winks out. Tails looks down at Mobius, and begins crying. As he does, Wildcat kneels next to him and pulls him close) Wildcat: (smiles, and nods at him) Don't worry, kid. We'll pull through somehow. Tails: (looks at him) Really? Wildcat: (nods) Yes. And when we do.....(his sword begins glowing green)....we'll find away to rescue Sonic. (The two walk away slowly, still chatting) Tails: What time is it now? Wildcat: (checks a nearby wall clock) 9:30. Time to sleep. Tails: (grins) Last one asleep is a rotten egg! (lifts off the ground and flies away) Wildcat: (annoyed) Just keep jabbering.....Tails. (dashes off after him; speaks to himself) Honestly, kid, what have you gotten yourself into? (Fade to credits, with the gray planet in the background. We hear Scratch and Grounder, still arguing) ------- He looks around him for the source of the blasts and spots Bomb-Man on another hover bike running parallel to his own. "Wanna play?" He veers sharply, slamming into Bomb-Mans boat, throwing him off course violently, nearly throwing him into the water. (End of file)