"Shadows of the Past", Part 9        
Original story by M.H. Torringjan
MSTed by G. A. Curtis Wildcat

----------------------------------

>        Okay, so this is it!  I promise!  Last part, then the next
>series starts.

LC: Um, ex-nay on the ext-nay eries-say, orringjan-Tay.

>        The characters in this story that aren't mine are Naoko
>Takeuchi's.  The ones that are mine (Europa/Michael, Jennifer Hino,
>and a couple of others) are mine.  If you want to use them, then

DC: (as U2; singing) ---better learn how to kneel.  On your knees,
boy!

>tell your readers that I created them.  But anyway, let's get on
>with the show now.

Wildcat: And wish that a Fast-Forward button was installed on these
armrests.

>        I believe that this installment will have to be rated
>PG-13, but I'm not sure.  Also, this may seem later on like it's a
>snuff-fic, but just stick with me.  I wouldn't do that to the
>Sailor Senshi.  :-)  In hindsight, the fic really was fairly
>cliche, but I had a good time writing it.

DC: No comment at this time.
Wildcat: Smart move, copycat.
LC: (to himself) Cliche, huh?

>And since it's the final chapter of the series, you need to read
>it.  Otherwise, I'd have left it out.
>

LC: So you're saying if you didn't write it, we wouldn't have to
read it?

>Shadows From the Past
>by:M. H. Torringjan
>
>Part nine: Ruebus's Magic Mansion

LC: I'm sensing a change in title.
DC: (shakes his head) "Fun House", "Magic Mansion"....what's the
difference?

>        The portal swirled as the six Scouts, Tuxedo Mask, and
>three guardians stepped through it.  In a split second, the Scouts
>found themselves in front of the base of the Negaverse's forces on
>earth.  It looked like a large castle like in old horror films.

Wildcat: Just don't count on winning while the stakes are high and
the situation has turned batty.
LC: Wildcat...
Wildcat: Okay, okay.

>Serena felt a shiver run up her skin as a cold wind howled around
>them.  The sky there was as dark as it had been near the portal,
>creating a certain air of eeriness that made all the Scouts
>nervous.

(DC hums the Kraid music from "Metroid")

>        Luna asked Mercury to scan for any openings to the inside
>of the fortress.  Mercury's visor was on her face in an instant as
>she scanned the building.  After a while, it finally got to the
>useful stuff, and located five openings to the interior.

LC: All of them leading to the belly of a five-headed dragon.
(DC stops humming)

>        "Luna, we've got something here," Mercury said.  "There are
>five openings around the building.  One is a sewer pipe that's
>large enough for two people to travel through comfortably.

Wildcat: Hard to be comfortable in the only place more slimy than
the Negaverse.

>Another is an air duct leading from the western side inside.  The
>third one is a window, unguarded on the inside, but there are light
>guards on the outside.

DC: Which really says a lot for their exercise program.

>Number four is a small tunnel into the sub-basement, which then
>leads into the main area of the base.  The final one is a large
>chimney on the roof.

All: (singing) Up on the roooof...

>It leads into a large room inside, that looks like a ball room."
>        "A Negaverse base with a ball-room?" Venus said, confused.
>        "Why would they need one?" Europa asked.

Wildcat: Queen Beryl dancing in a ball-room?  I don't know...
DC: (Beryl) Insolent fool!  I told you to bring me Stevie Wonder,
not the last bowl of nachos!

>        "Ambiance?  How should I know?" Luna said.  "Here's what I
>do know.  We'll have the best chance in there by going in five
>groups of two each."
>        "Europa and I will go together," Venus said eagerly.
>        "I'll go with Mercury," Mars said.

LC: Mars is partnering with a thermometer?  Must be the flu season.

>        "I will go with Sailor Moon," Tuxedo Mask said.
>        "I guess that I'm stuck with Luna," Jupiter said.
>        "NO!" Artemis snapped.  He didn't want to be stuck with the
>psychopath dog.

All: And neither do we.

>        "What's wrong, Artemis?" Luna asked.  "I was chosen
>legitimately by Jupiter, and that leaves you with Rigel.  You'll
>probably meet with better success anyway.  You've got no big humans
>to slow you down or get in your way."

DC: (pretends to speak into a radio) Mush Mouth lost his basketball
down there.  Send in Fat Albert.

>        "That's easy for you to say," Artemis whined.  "You don't
>have to stay with a dog with mental malfunctions."
>        "I heard that," Rigel said, "And it won't help your
>popularity rating one little bit."

LC: That also works vice-versa, you know.

>        "So, where are we going?" Moon asked.
>        "Your choice," Luna said, crossing her fingers as best she
>could that she wouldn't be stuck with going through the sewers.
>Once was enough, and even then, more than enough.

DC: Of course, she'd have better success crossing her toes.

>        "We'll go into the window," Mercury said, indicating
>herself and Mars.
>        "What were the other choices?" Moon asked.
>        "The air duct, the tunnel, the chimney, the sewer,"

LC: ...The front door...
(DC chuckles)

>Mercury answered quickly.
>        "I want the air duct," Moon said to Tuxedo Mask.

Wildcat: I'd go after the air duck too, except I can't fly.

>        "We'll take the tunnel," Venus said to Europa.
>        "We get the chimney," Jupiter said quickly before Artemis
>could stake that claim.  Rigel cursed under his breath about being
>stuck with a cat in a sewer pipe.

DC: (tsks; sarcastic) Mindful of our future, aren't we?

>The five groups split up and snuck to their different paths, being
>as quiet as they could.

(DC gets up and dashes off-screen.  A second later, there is a series
of dull thuds as something is kicked.  DC returns a second later)
LC: (Venus) Hey, watch where you kick that trash can!
Wildcat: (Europa) It was in my way, and I was bored.  Anything else?

>        Mars and Mercury reached the spot where they could see
>their entrance with a fair amount of certainty that they could get
>in without attracting too much attention to themselves.  There were
>only three guards at the window,

Wildcat: And they were watching an L.A. Lakers game.

>but how to get rid of them without causing a distraction was a
>mystery until Mars solved the problem for them.

LC: (Mars) "Marx Brothers" movie marathon.  Keep 'em occupied for
hours.

>        She unwittingly stepped on the cliche stick, giving away
>their position to the enemy.  The first two guards looked towards
>the bushes where Mars and Mercury hid and began to approach it.

Wildcat: (as a guard) Probably a squirrel or something.  Back to
work.

>As the first one entered the underbrush, Mars grabbed it and pulled
>it into where she and Mercury were.  It put up a good fight, but
>Mars ended up knocking it out.

DC: (Mars) Knocked 'em out with my charm...I am just too cool.

>The second hadn't noticed its cohort being pulled into the bushes
>and had continued its search away from where Mars and Mercury were.
>It now looked up and noticed its friend gone,

(LC gets out a piece of paper and starts writing on it)
LC: (to himself) Cliche #1: Missing Person anxiety...

>and, rushing over to where he had last seen the other guard, met
>the same fate.

DC: (cringes) Ooh, a marathon of bad Dragonball/Slayers crossovers
...those are never pretty.
LC: What about DBGT/Star Wars?  Pokemon/Star Trek?
DC: The clincher: all of the above meet Space Ghost: Coast To Coast.
(laughs villanously)
Wildcat: (mutters) You guys trying to give me nightmares?

>        Mars took off the armor of the first and put it on.  It was
>too big for her, and she hoped that the third guard wouldn't
>notice.  Mercury put on the second one's armor, and it was a good
>fit.  She went outside and got the third guard's attention.  She
>summoned it over to where she and Mars were.

LC: Tseng, Hojo, and Rufus were waiting when he got there.

>They quickly dispatched it and left it where it was.  She and Mars
>opened the window quietly and slipped into it.
>        When they landed, they turned around to come face to face
>with an interior guard.

Wildcat: (guard) Hi, Sloppy.
LC: (Mars) Hi, Joe.

>        "Is there any reason that you just came in through that
>window there?" the guard asked.
>        "It was closer than the door," Mars answered in her most
>masculine voice that she could muster.  "And we were feeling lazy."

DC: And stupid.
Wildcat: (nervously) Uh...slash that, DC.

>        "So you climbed in a window, closed it, then climbed back
>down to the floor," the guard finished.  Mercury vigorously nodded
>her head.  "What is your name and rank?"
>        "We are Tosha and Milga, peon guards," Mars answered again.

DC: (Mars) Well, I'll say one thing: James Bond does this a whole
lot better.

>        "Doesn't sound like any rank I've heard before," the guard
>answered.
>        "We're with a new troupe of guards," Mercury answered.
>        "That's interesting, because I'm Lord Rubeus's highest
>ranking guard,

LC: Don't be fooled.  It's the janitor.
DC: Somehow, I don't think a bucket of soapy water is going to do
too much to our heroes.

>and I wasn't informed about anything remotely resembling soldiers
>climbing through windows and making lame excuses."  Mercury stood
>in stunned silence.  The two of them would be in trouble if they
>didn't do something soon.

Wildcat: (Mars) Quick, Mercury.  Do an impression, or something!

>        "Well, we're on a secret mission for Lord Rubeus, so if you
>don't want to have to explain why the Lord's servants were late on
>your orders, you'd better let us go," Mercury spat out, thinking as
>she went along.

DC: Fiesty, Mercury?

>The guard thought for a moment before waving them along.

LC: We don't need to see your identification.  They can go about
their business.

>        "Whew, that was close," Mars sighed.  She didn't want the
>adventure to end quite that quickly.  They looked around them to
>see if they could find something to identify with as they left.

Wildcat: Try a magnifying glass.
DC: Identify with the squirrel's motto: "You are what you eat."

>There was nothing in there, only a wall on each side of them.  It
>wasn't even a particularly interesting wall, either.  It was just a
>blank wall.  The hallway was well-lit and incredibly long.

LC: The path to the principal's office.

>It was hard to see the end of it, but Mars thought that she could
>just make out the outline of a tiny opening, well, tiny from her
>perspective.  Oddly, it was the same view in the opposite
>direction.

DC: It's called a mirror, hothead.

>        "Flip a coin to see which way we go?" Mars said coolly.
>        "I say let's just go this way," Mercury said, indicating
>her left.

Wildcat: Wise cat say: If you go to the left, you'll never be right.

>        "Works for me," Mars said, turning down the indicated path.
>She and Mercury walked in the same direction for a while, and they
>got nowhere.

LC: The Nowhere Orb: carrier of the Ryoga Syndrome.
Wildcat: (Mars; loudly) **Where on Earth am I nowww?!**

>After a while, Mars looked back to notice that the window through
>which they had entered had disappeared.  As she turned to tell
>Mercury, she saw a small sign on the wall that read:

LC: (reading) No trespassing between 7:00 and 3:00.
Wildcat: (reading) I will be beaten by a bunch of kids. *
DC: (reading) At the end of this tunnel lies a big, big man.
(Everyone sings Jimmy Dean's "Big Bad John" for a few seconds)

>                Hello, Scouts.  I'd like to welcome you to my
>         little base in the middle of nowhere.  The first
>         attraction that I'd like to show you two is the endless
>         hallway.
>                Now, this might not sound too appealing to you, but
>         I've added some incentive to go down it.

DC: Obsessive fanboy parade.

>         If you'll kindly look behind you again, Mars, you'll
>         notice what I'm talking about.

Wildcat: (Rubeus) Neener, neener.

>        Mars, intrigued, looked back down the hallway again and saw
>what Rubeus was talking about.  Behind them was a large mill stone,
>rolling down the hallway towards them.

LC: Never knew Rubeus was a Harrison Ford fan.

>        "Run!" Mars exclaimed, following her own advice.  Mercury
>took a moment to observe what had set Mars to running, then joined
>her in fear and surprise.

(LC hums the "Indiana Jones" theme)

>        They ran down the hallway until they were tired out, which
>was, at the speed they were going, not a very long time.  Mercury
>began to slow first, then was followed by Mars.

DC: I'd feel sorry for Mercury if she ever got around to having
one of those transformation crystals.  Well, sort of.

>Mars fell to the ground, weighed down by her armor, and Mercury
>joined her a moment later.  Before she could hit the ground,
>though, a hole opened up in the floor, which carried them away.

Wildcat: (confused) The floor's personification incarnate! 

>The last thing that Mercury could remember before she passed out
>was Rubeus's voice laughing at them.

DC: (Rubeus) Ha, ha, ha!  Lucas and Spielberg have nothing on me!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

>        Luna and Jupiter were almost at the spot where they would
>climb to the roof when they encountered some guards.  Luna was able
>to stop Jupiter from using her lightning, but just barely.  Luna
>had a better idea.

LC: (Luna) Don't use your lightning "just barely".  Use it at full
power!

>She would lure them away, then sneak back to Jupiter, and they
>would both go up onto the roof while the guards were distracted.
>Jupiter stayed in her place while Luna went off to do her job.

Wildcat: You should've brought a magazine.

>A few moments later, Jupiter heard a large crash from off to her
>left, and the guards went rushing off to see what it was.  Jupiter
>watched the direction from where the sound had come and saw the
>guards come out a moment later,

DC: (random guard; as Moltar) Cool!  CHiPS!

>carrying Luna, who was fervently trying to get away.

Wildcat: (Luna) I'm telling you that I did *not* steal your key lime
pie!

>        "Good one, Luna," Jupiter said under her breath.  "Screw
>it. I want to see some action.  Jupiter Thunderclap, Zap!"  The
>guards were struck down where they were by some large thunderbolts.

LC: The Tampa Bay fans swarm the rink!

>The instant that this happened, Jupiter realized the err of her
>ways.

DC: (Jupiter) I've been taking it easy!  *Super Power Jupiter!*

>Luna was flung from the hands of the guard that had her, and
>flew through the air towards Jupiter.  Jupiter threw her hands up 
>just in time to make a clean catch of Luna.

DC: (under his breath) And Brunette catches the cat.  The Scouts
lead by 6.  Extra point...

>        "You okay, Luna?" Jupiter asked.
>        "Beside the fact that I was just narrowly missed by a
>lightning bolt, I'm as good as one could be," Luna wheezed.

LC: In other words, no?
DC: (throws his arms up) It's good!

>"How about next time you try a wave of electricity flowing across
>the battlefield?  It's more effective."

Wildcat: (Jupiter) Hey, *you* try to think of a plan while the
enemy's getting ready to pound you.

>        "Oh, stop being bitter.  It was an honest mistake," Jupiter
>said.  "Look, do you see any guards swarming over us?"
>        "No," Luna said.  "That's odd.  Look, let's just get
>inside.  There's the place where we'll climb up to the chimney."

DC: Strange.  I'm getting images of Tim Allen all of a sudden.
Wildcat: Get over it.

>They went over to the place where the structure had rotted out
>slightly and searched for some handholds.  Some small holes were
>just out of Jupiter's reach,

LC: (Jupiter) Rubeus went to "Tim Hortons" just for some doughnut
holes?  He must not get out much.

>and another pair was right where Jupiter could get to them.  Luna
>held on to Jupiter's shoulder as Jupiter climbed up the side of the
>wall.

Wildcat: Hope those uniforms can be mended, because Luna's claws
really sting.

>        The two reached the top in a couple of minutes of climbing.
>On the roof, there was a small figure huddled at the back of the
>roof.  On further investigation, Jupiter it turned out to be a
>maintenance worker, was asleep on the job.

LC: (Jupiter) OK, I know!  I know! (normal; to himself) Wiseman
must've gone with the low bidders.

>Jupiter let him be and went to open up the top of the chimney large
>enough so that they could get in and down it.

DC: (Luna) Here's where sampling too much of your cooking gets you
in trouble.
Wildcat: (Jupiter) Stop insulting me, Luna.

>        After a few minutes of working, Jupiter got a hole large
>enough for Luna to crawl in the chimney.  She put Luna in so that
>she could go down it and scout the surroundings.  After Luna was
>down and out of sight, she began work on the chimney

DC: Twenty feet high, power saws nigh!

>so that she could get in herself.  She realized that the chimney
>was longer than she had originally thought when she couldn't hear
>Luna say anything back to her.

LC: (Jupiter) What was that?
Wildcat: (Luna) I SAID....never mind.  There are kids present.

>        She finally had a hole large enough to crawl in herself.
>She went down the tunnel-like chimney with a hand and a foot on
>each side of it.  "Ho, ho, ho," she thought to herself.

LC: (scratches his head) Where'd you get that garden tool?

>She climbed down for about ten minutes and saw the bottom with a
>light coming in through it.  She dropped the rest of the way to the
>ground and looked around for Luna.

Wildcat: Where's that vat of invisible ink?

>She found the cat to the right of the opening of the chimney.  Luna
>was licking some small wounds.

DC: That chimney sure puts up a great fight.

>        "What's wrong with you?" Jupiter asked.
>        "All I'm saying is that it's a good thing that I land on my
>feet," Luna said.  "My legs absorbed most of the shock from the
>landing, but I still got hurt."

DC: Luna: part cat, part rubber tire.

>        "Are you still able to walk?" Jupiter asked.
>        "I think so.  It's just a few cuts, nothing serious the I
>know of."

Wildcat: I dunno...does Luna visit the vet on a regular basis?

>        Jupiter and Luna continued on their way to search for the
>leader of the Droids and came across a room with a bunch of mirrors
>in it.

DC: (Luna) You know you look like an hourglass right about now?

>        "Luna, take a look at these," Jupiter said.  She was
>examining the largest of the mirrors, seeing if there was something
>special about them.

LC: You're being vain, Jupiter.  Just admit it.

>As she watched, Rubeus's face appeared in the glass of the mirror
>and she heard the door slam shut.

Wildcat: Mirror, mirror, on the wall.  Who's the most shocking one
of all?

>        "Well, Jupiter, It looks like your little bit of the
>adventure ends here," Rubeus said from the mirror.  Behind them,
>a small vent appeared in the wall and began to hiss.

(Everyone hisses at the screen)

>"That sound that you hear is gas.  You have thirty seconds before
>you go unconscious, and I'll capture you."

DC: (Rubeus) Sorry.  I had one too many burritos for lunch today.
LC: Sad.

>        "Oh, good one," Jupiter said sarcastically.  "Just go ahead
>and tell us your plans, like it matters.  We spent precious seconds
>listening to you."
>        "And precious more seconds complaining about it!" Rubeus
>gloated.

LC: Um...who's complaining?
DC: (irritated) The whole "listening to you" deal, remember?
LC: Oh.

>        Jupiter lost control of her emotions and broke the mirror.
>Rubeus's face appeared in the other mirrors and began laughing at
>Jupiter's futile attempts to escape.  "This seems so familiar,"
>Jupiter said and blacked out.

Wildcat: Probably because it is.
(DC does a "Joker" imitation)
LC: Don't think that was it, though.

>        Artemis and Rigel walked around to the sewer pipe and
>entered easily enough, Rigel grumbling all the way.  There were no
>guards to bar their progress, so they just waltzed right in.

LC: (Artemis) Next time, *I* lead.

>The sewer pipe would have been big enough for a human to fit in,
>which made Rigel even angrier with the others.  It wasn't like it
>was any big deal, walking through some sludge just to get inside.
>At least they wouldn't have to worry about any enemies.

Wildcat: (holds his nose) That sludge stinks like wildfire.  Yecch!
DC: (Beavis-like) Fire.  Burn!  Heh-heh-heh.
(The silhouette of a sweatdrop appears on Wildcat's head)
Wildcat: And you're not helping, wise guy.

>        "Well, how long can this tunnel be?" Rigel said.  "With our
>luck, it doesn't even lead into the base.  Probably ends up at the
>North Pole or something."
>        "Mercury's computer told us that it went inside, and I
>trust the computer," Artemis stated confidently.

LC: That's what you get for trusting a computer that lies.

>        "Yeah, is that the same as your Scouts and their fearless
>leader?" Rigel said skeptically.
>        "Oh, let off them.  They did what you wanted, didn't they?
>We're here, where we're supposed to be, and that's what you
>wanted."

DC: Didn't know they had sporting goods outlets in the Negaverse.

>        "Well, I don't have much room to talk, anyway.  My Scout
>doesn't take his job as seriously as he used to.  It's like your
>Scouts changed him somehow."

Wildcat: (Rigel) He's seen what love is like.  He has a chance at
a better life---
DC: (groans) I'm gonna be sick. (covers his eyes and slaps Wildcat)
Wildcat: (momentarily dazed) I love life medium rare...
DC: Can I slap him again?  He's out of it.
LC: Ssssh.

>        "I'm not surprised.  We seem to have more fun than do our
>duty.  At least, that's how Serena would like it to be.  All he
>had to deal with when you were his only peer for Scout business was
>your expectations.  Now, when he's here, he's got his Scout duties,
>his girlfriend, his school, his life."

DC: And his sci-fi collection.

>        "You have a point, I suppose.  Well, let's get on with it.
>We've got to hurry up, or we'll miss the action," Artemis said.

Wildcat: (recovering) Major change in sentence structure.
LC: Either that, or Artemis has been talking to himself for the last
few stanzas.

>        "Sorry," a voice said from the shadows, "But you're going
>to miss the 'action' anyway."  A large monster rose out of the
>sludge that covered the ground, dripping with the stuff.
>        "What in the...?!" Artemis exclaimed as the creature threw
>a sludge ball at the two animals.

LC: Revenge of "The Creature from the Black Lagoon".

>The sludge hit the animals with enough force to throw them on
>their backs, knocked out.  The creature scooped them up and
>began to carry them away.

DC: If I was in close proximity to a monster that smelled like a
skunk family outing, I'd want to be unconscious, too.

>        Venus looked down the cavernous hole that was the tunnel,
>wondering what was in it.  Europa was wondering the same thing, but
>more along the lines of what he could let his aggression out on.
>That was what fueled his fighting instinct, his aggression.

Wildcat: (Vader) Release your anger!  Only your hatred can destroy 
Rubeus!

>        The two entered the tunnel, which was pretty-well used.
>You could tell by the lights that were mounted on small pedestals
>along the path.  The light level was low, but it was bright enough

DC: ---to create the mother of all Solar Flares.

>to still be able to make out the path.  The walls were concrete and
>wet.  It had been raining recently, so the ground was muddy
>outside, too.

LC: (Bob Newhart) You know, Walt, we've been a little worried about
you ever since you put your cape down over that mud.

>        Venus felt fear trying to force its way into her mind, but 
>she fought it off with the thought that she would be fine with a
>friend there with her.  As they walked along the path, something
>scurried across the path, causing Venus to almost scream out.

Wildcat: Aggh!  It's something!

>If Europa hadn't shut her mouth, she would have gotten the
>attention of the whole base.

LC: (writing something down) Cliche #17...Scream Therapy.

>Europa was able to calm her down enough to show her that it was
>only a little rat.  Well, little for the mutations that Rubeus had
>put the rats through in the place.

DC: There are some things that even the Sailor Scouts are afraid of.
Wildcat: Hint, hint.

>        When they got to the end of the path, they came to a small
>door in the floor of the room above them.  They opened this, and
>found a small platoon of Nega-monsters staring straight at them and
>pointing their various types of weapons toward them.

LC: Sharp weapons, dull minds.

>        "I think that the most logical situation would be to
>fight," Europa whispered to Venus.

(DC almost bursts out laughing)
Wildcat: How much oxygen is flowing through your skull?  Of COURSE
it's the most logical situation!

>        "I'm going to have to agree with you," Venus said, jumping
>out of the hole and yelling her attack out.  "Venus Love-chain,
>Encircle!"  The love chain appeared from out of nowhere, coiling
>around most of the enemies and refusing to let go.

Wildcat: (as gangster) Hand over the green, and I'll tink 'bout it.

>The remaining few aimed their weapons and attacked.  The first one
>was a blob of goo, which changed to look like and act like Venus.

LC: (as dopple) You know, Europa looks like my old boyfriend.

>It yelled out her attack, and the chain circled around Venus.
>Europa came to Venus's rescue before it could do any real damage to
>her.

DC: (as dopple) Um..."If you hate the one you love, hate the one
you're with"?
LC: (Europa) Wow.  An exact mirror image.  I still like the
original, though.

>        "Europa Earth, Drop!"  A small block of earth dropped on
>the doppelganger, squishing it flat.  The chain which had wrapped
>around Venus fell to the ground, as limp as a normal chain.  There
>wasn't much time to wait before the second of the five attacked.

Wildcat: The first five were defeated, and now the seconds of five
are ticked!

>It was a creature which was so unspeakably evil that most of the
>Negaverse cringed at the mere mention of it.  It was a pink, fuzzy
>bunny!

(DC screams.  Wildcat slashes the air in front of him, shutting him 
up)
LC: Thanks.
Wildcat: (snickering) No prob.
DC: (cringing) S-scary!

>        "And it's so darned cute, too!" Europa said under his
>breath as the bunny threw razor-sharp hearts at them.  Europa just
>barely got slashed across the wrist.  It wasn't a deep enough cut
>to hit the artery, but it did bleed badly.  He tore a bit off his
>costume and tied it up with that.  "You're gonna pay for that!"

LC: Considering how much the costume is, what do you think?  Maybe
like a googol yen just for the tear?
(DC and Wildcat just shrug.)

>Europa called out in rage.  He let out all of his energy into one
>attack.  "Europa Earth, Drop!"  The room was full of earth where
>the creatures were standing.

Wildcat: And all the rooms elsewhere were full of Planet X and
bandages.

>        The two regrouped and headed for the nearest exit.  That
>is, they would have if they hadn't been captured by a falling
>energy net.  It came out of thin air and dropped on them.

LC: True, if the ceiling was made out of thin air.

>They were shocked by a strong current of electricity flowing
>through the strands of the net.  They couldn't take much, and were
>knocked out in a split second.

DC: Shouldn't Europa be able to resist that?  He IS grounded, you
guys.
Wildcat: The 4x4's tired from hammering that joke into the street,
you know...

>        Rubeus stepped out of the corner from where he had observed
>the whole scene.  If he could brainwash that Europa, he would be a
>valuable asset in the battle with Sailor Moon.  No, Wiseman wanted
>all the Scouts for another reason.

Wildcat: He wanted to bore them to death with his Mufasa impression.

>It was nice to dream, anyway.  He mentally floated the two out of
>the room, still under the net. They would join their friends.

LC: (Rubeus) Okay, who's for rummy?

>        Sailor Moon stared longingly at the air duct that was out
>of their reach.  How would they get inside if this sort of thing
>happened to them?

Wildcat: (singing) Might as well jump!

>She looked around for Tuxedo Mask.  He had disappeared the moment
>that Sailor Moon had discovered that the air duct was too high for
>her or him.

DC: (sarcastic) And the coward disappears just because of a height
difference.  How typical.

>Behind her, she heard a noise.  It sounded small at first, growing
>in volume until the source of it burst from the line of trees that
>surrounded the castle.

(A loud roar bursts from the speakers behind the trio, causing them
all to jump.  DC glares at them)
T-Bone: (over speaker) Well, the intercom system works now.
Wildcat: (sighs) Just get back to work, T-Bone.
(The speaker clicks off)

>        It was Tuxedo Mask, with his cane longer than usual.  When
>he got closer, Sailor Moon could see that the cane had some sticks
>attached to it.  Tuxedo Mask planted the cane firmly in the ground
>and used his momentum to vault himself up to the wall, near where
>the duct opened up.

DC: (smacks his hands together) Splat!
Wildcat: An anti-climatic way to end a mission, eh?
LC: Shades of "Looney Tunes".

>His foot was close enough to kick in the screen that covered the
>duct.  He did this, then awkwardly worked his way into the duct.
>When he was safely inside, he reached his arm as far down as he
>could to help Sailor Moon up.

Wildcat: Go-go Gadget arm!
LC: Don't worry, for Inspector Mask is always on duty.
(LC tears a notice off the wall and throws it away.  DC mimes an
explosion)
Wildcat: (as if strained from the explosion) Tuxedo Maskkk...!
DC: (laughs) I like that show.

>        They were both inside and they strained their eyes to see
>what was down the path ahead of them.  There was no light except
>for the occasional dim light source from openings in the duct.
>The pair started walking, looking through the grating of each
>opening to see where they were in the base.

DC: In front of the gates to Graceland.

>        The first grate was over the entry way to the base, which
>was guarded by what seemed to Sailor Moon like a hundred guards.

Wildcat: A hundred guards per grate?  No wonder security's so bad.

>The second one was a little further down and few turns later.  It
>was over the ball room where Jupiter and Luna were supposed to have
>come out.  Sailor moon caught her breath

LC: Try breathing into a jar.  Doesn't always work, but it never
hurts to try.

>at the panoramic view of the dance floor, with its intricate
>pictures and complex color scheme.  Tuxedo Mask was hardly able to
>drag her away from the view when they had to moved on.

LC: Does Rubeus use that room to celebrate whenever he wins a big
fight, as said earlier?
Wildcat: (Beryl; singing) Turn the beat around...love to hear
percussion...
DC: There's your answer.

>        The third room was the prisoner's room, where the Crystal
>Carriers had been held.  The room held occupants at that moment,
>too.  Sailor Moon figured that they were probably just experiments
>of Rubeus's and moved on out of boredom.  She was stopped short,

LC: A miniature Sailor Scout?
(DC cringes)

>though, by Tuxedo Mask calling her back and pointing her attention
>to the identities  of the people.

Wildcat: You do NOT ignore the return of Bobby Thomson and Willie
Mays that easily.

>        The people's faces were hard to make out, but she could
>tell after a Closer look that they were the other Scouts and the
>guardians.  As they looked on, a sound was heard which vibrated
>the metal duct.

LC: Someone's playing basketball a few rooms away.
DC: Yeah, and someone just committed a flagrant foul on a heavy guy.

>Suddenly, a door opened beneath the two, dropping them into the
>room that they had been observing.  They were caught by a creature
>that looked like one of those mad scientists that you see in the
>old, bad sci-fi movies

Wildcat: Rubeus likes the earth a lot, huh?

>and deposited on a table, where their hands and legs were secured
>by straps made out of some hard metal.

LC: Leftover material from Dr. Wily's robots.

>        As they were about to ask what was happening to them,
>Rubeus entered the room from his observing place.  He laughed as
>the Scouts all tried futilely to escape.

DC: (David Xanatos) IT'S ALIVE!.....You know, I've always wanted
to say that.

>        "You realize that you have made a colossal mistake by
>coming here," Rubeus said.  "You won't win against me and my
>forces.  Since you've caused me so much irritation, I'll just have
>to destroy you.

Wildcat: (Rubeus) That okay with you?

>That's annoying, isn't it?"
>        "You'll never get away with this," Mercury said through
>gritted teeth.

(LC writes something on a piece of paper)
Wildcat: Keeping track of the cliches?
LC: Yep.  I'll post it on the wall on the way out.

>        "I would expect you to say that, Mercury," Rubeus said.
>"But I've got an equally cliche saying for you.  I already have."
>He turned to her and put his hand to her forehead.

DC: (Rubeus) Aaagh!  That's cold!

>Mercury suddenly went into convulsions for a few moments before
>laying limp on the table where she was strapped in at.

LC: I hope I don't get a fever anytime soon.
Wildcat: Is Rubeus a descendant of Rogue or something?

>"Who wants to be next?" Rubeus said, gesturing to the Droid who
>was standing at the door.  It moved to Mercury and un-strapped her,
>then it carried her away over its shoulder.  The other Scouts were
>shocked at the event that had just happened in front of their eyes,

DC: (Bill Cosby) ...and these brain-damaged people have the nerve
to look surprised!
Wildcat: (as astronaut) Ladies and gentlemen, the Fish has landed.

>and none spoke for fear of following the example that Rubeus had
>made of the helpless Mercury.
>        Finally, Mars spoke.  "Where did he take her?"
>        "Mercury is going to the furnace to be burned," Rubeus
>responded.

LC: 98.6 degrees.

>"You're all going to join her in time, but I'll just let you chill
>for a while."

Wildcat: (as teacher) I checked Rubeus's transcript.  It says that
he got an "E" in Basic Comedy.

>And with that statement, he left the Scouts to themselves, trying
>to figure out what they were going to do to escape.
>        "Any ideas?" Venus asked, getting no response.  "If only
>we could get over to that wall, the keys are over there."

LC: (writing something down) And the march of the cliches continues.

>She pointed as best she could with her hand still trapped over to
>the wall opposite them, where the keys dangled, almost tauntingly
>off of a small hook.

DC: (sinister) Go ahead, mister.  You go and cut that hook.
Wildcat: (John Wayne) Ooh, no.  You have me scared.
(The teenage calico chucks Shape-Shifter into the left wall)
Wildcat: (John Wayne) *You* do it.

>        "Wait a minute," Europa said.  "Mars, your armor is on,
>right?"
>        "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Mars said.  "Wait a minute, I
>see what you're saying!  I'll heat up my armor to free myself, then
>get the key to free you all." 

DC: (Mars) Nope, the armor ain't gonna hurt me.

>She drew in a deep breath, sighing before setting her armor to its
>task.  "Fire Armor, Sear!"

Wildcat: Ooch, ah, eech, ouch...
DC: (chuckling) Oops.  Guess she forgot.
LC: (shakes his head) Afraid that won't work, DC.

>The manacles melted away almost instantly, and Mars went to where
>the keys dangled from their hook.  She made sure not to melt the
>keys when she picked them up to take them to Europa first.

(Wildcat retrieves his sword and sits back down)
DC and LC: (singing) Me fool on fire, baby....hot, hot, hot....

>        Before she could unlock him all the way, though, she was
>struck from behind by a sharp blast of energy from Rubeus.  She
>slumped onto the table that held Europa.  He noticed that she
>wasn't breathing.

LC: The part of Sailor Mars has been played by an android.  Thank
you for watching.

>He couldn't tell if her pulse had stopped yet, but it was a good
>estimation judging by the force that Rubeus had put into the blast.
>Europa had felt the blast when it had hit Mars.

DC: (sarcastic) Great, so *you're* still conscious?

>The same Droid returned to take the body away to the same place
>that Mercury's body had gone.  Rubeus replaced the keys on the
>hook.
>        Only when they were alone did anybody speak again.

Wildcat: (surfer voice) Like, bummer, man.

>        "So Europa," Jupiter said, "I don't suppose that you'll be
>getting back in time for your tutoring session with Melvin."

DC: Priorities, lady.

>        "That would be a good estimation," Europa replied.  "Anyone
>else got any ideas?"  
>        Rigel called from his cage, "You've got one more power that
>we can use right now."

Wildcat: (Rigel) I forget what the Europa Ultimate Attack was used
for, but we gotta use it.

>        "Why didn't you tell me about this before now?" Europa
>asked.
>        "Well, it's not a very useful power, and we've never needed
>it before this, so I figured, what's the point?

LC: (mutters) He can turn shackles into jawbreakers?

>Anyway, you can use your Europa Magnets power to turn the shackles
>into magnets that can attract the keys," Rigel said.

DC: (Rigel) Here you go.  Plot contrivance's on me.

>        "Thanks loads, Rigel.  Europa Magnets, Attract!"   A power
>filled the metal, turning it into a magnet.  The keys were pulled
>through the air to where they landed with a clank on the magnet
>near Europa's hand.

Wildcat: Almost makes me wish I had a Magnemite.
LC: Personal magnetism in action.  What can we say?

>        Europa reached as best he could with his hand and grabbed
>the keys.  He painfully twisted his hands to where they could put
>the keys in the hole and unlock his hand.  After a little bit of
>work, he had his hand free and was working on the other one.

Wildcat: Sad to say, one hand didn't know what the other was doing.
An official protest ensued.

>As he was working, Rubeus came in to check on his prisoners.
>Europa quickly hid the key in his pocket and put his hand back in
>the shackle without locking it.

(LC writes something down)

>        "So, how are my little friends doing now?" Rubeus asked,
>walking over to Moon.

LC: (Sailor Moon) Just fine, except I'm sick and tired of playing
"Aggravation".

>        "What do you want with us?" Moon asked.
>        "You don't know by now?" Rubeus asked.  "I want you all
>dead.  You don't mess with the Dark Moon and get away with it."
>        "Why don't you just kill us all at once then?" Venus asked.

DC: (thoughtful) Well, it would certainly end this movie a lot 
quicker.
Wildcat: Yeah, but it would also wreck havoc on the later episode
plots.  Let's try something else.

>        "First of all, it's not fun that way.  Second of all, I
>want you to suffer by seeing your comrades die.  You will
>eventually go mad and want to die yourself."  To accent his point,
>he took aim with his hand and shot Jupiter.

DC: Aim with your eyes, not your hand.  You've got brains; use them!

>She wasn't dead, Moon could tell, but if she wasn't rushed
>somewhere quickly, she would die.
>        "You know," Europa said, "There's an easier way to make us
>go crazy.

LC: (quietly) Calvin.

>Just show us really bad movies until our brains turn to slush."

Wildcat: (as Rubeus; singing) Now keep in mind Mike can't control
where the movies begin and end.....

>        "I tried that with another person, and it didn't work at
>all," Rubeus replied with a sniff.  "I'll just leave you all to
>yourselves."  And he left the room.

LC: Rubeus *is* Doctor Forrester.
DC: If he's Forrester, who's Frank?
LC: (shrugs) I thought it was Sapphire at first, but I guess not.

>        Europa took his hand from out of the metal shackle and took
>the key from his pocket.  He began working on his other hand again
>until it was free.  Then he started on the feet.  As he began
>working on his right foot, Rubeus entered again.

DC: (Rubeus; muttering) Blasted prank phone call...

>Seeing Europa freeing himself, he took a blast at Europa.  Europa
>ducked under the blast and used his power.

Wildcat: (as Zorak) Let the power of paunch compel you!
LC: (Rubeus) Wish I didn't fire the guards.  I hate going into this
room every few seconds.

>        "Europa Sandstorm, Blow!"  The air was full of sand
>particles, blowing at Rubeus and stinging his eyes.  Europa got
>back to his work of unlocking his feet, and when he wasn't looking,
>Rubeus took another shot.

LC: So Rubeus would've fired whether or not he could see?  Strange
man.

>The shot hit Europa, who, ironically, had just gotten his last foot
>free.  The shot wasn't hard enough to kill Europa, but it did knock
>him for a loop.  He hit the back wall and went unconscious.
>        "Stupid freak," Rubeus said under his breath as he left the
>room.

DC: You'd think a person wanting to destroy the world wouldn't call
himself names like that.

>        "So, do we have any more bright ideas?" Tuxedo Mask asked.
>        "Well, if I could reach my meatballs, then I could pick the
>lock," Sailor Moon said.
>        "What do you mean?" Venus asked.

Wildcat: I'm hungry.

>        "What?  You think that this 'do is normal?  I need some
>major hair pins to keep these up."

LC: Wash two of them and use them as chopsticks.

>Serena bent her head over to her hands and started searching
>through her meatballs for a hair pin.  When she found one, she
>started picking her lock.

DC: (Serena) No, I don't want *that* lock.  That's a lock of my
*hair*.  I---there, that's the one!
LC: Lock, stock, and mock.

>Without any training, she didn't know a thing about what she was
>doing, but she was able to figure it out after a couple of minutes.
>She had her hand free and was working on the other one.  Soon, she
>was completely free and had the key in her hand.

Wildcat: And she didn't have to move, either.

>She had the others out in a matter of moments.  They went to check
>Europa and Jupiter.

LC: Ceiling: 1,000 feet.  Visibility: 2 miles.  Europa and Jupiter:
between 12-16, with quakes and storms expected throughout the day.
DC: The week-long forecast after this message.

>        He was in good shape for the most part, but they didn't
>know the extent of his injuries.  Jupiter wasn't half as well off
>as Europa.  Rigel took a small black box out of his subspace pocket
>and pointed it at Europa and Jupiter.  He turned it on and they
>vanished.

Wildcat: The first of Calvin's box inventions to gain popularity.

>        "Where'd they go?" Venus asked.
>        "I sent them to Central Command.  They'll take care of
>Jupiter and Europa, and they'll be fine in a day or two, if I know
>my injuries," Rigel answered.
	
LC: Forget your injuries.  What about theirs?
	
>        The two remaining Scouts, Tuxedo Mask, and the guardians
>left the room after scanning the hallway to be sure that it was
>safe.

DC: Since when did they manage to drag a scanner down there?
Wildcat: (sarcastic) Flatbed scanner.  I think it's built into
their eyes.
DC: Naturally.

>They walked in the direction that they had seen Rubeus go when he
>left the room and followed the hallway.  When they got to a point
>where there was a hallway intersecting their own, they stopped to
>consider which way to go.

LC: (Tuxedo Mask) Flip a coin for it.

>        After a moment of deliberating, they decided to keep on the
>original path.  They started walking down the path, and they heard
>the sound of Raye screaming from the other path.

Wildcat: Telemarketer!

>Without thinking, they started running towards the voice.

LC: Did they find a tape recorder someplace, or what?

>They found Raye being held under a bed of spikes, and the bed being
>lowered on her.  Venus was the first to react, running towards
>Raye.

Wildcat: And the sunlight almost blinded her.
DC: The infamous "bed of nails" with the tables turned.

>        When she was about to reach for Raye to save her, the floor
>dropped out from under Venus.  Venus was able to grab the ledge to
>keep from falling.  She looked below herself and saw a pit of
>spikes, with snakes crawling around in the pit.

DC: Are the spikes coming from the snakes, or...?
Wildcat: It's a pit of spikes *and* snakes.
DC: Oh.

>She truly didn't want to go in there.  According to Rubeus, though,
>who showed up just as she fell in, she didn't have much of a
>choice.

LC: (to himself) Hmmm....#41.

>        "You will die!" Rubeus said, stamping on Venus's fingers.
>She let go with one hand, getting it stamped on each time that she
>put it back, then the other let go.

DC: (shudders) Dark or not, I still don't like seeing this.

>She felt the spinning sensation of falling, and then, a split
>second of pain, in which she cried out.

Wildcat: (waves it off) Cliches.....
DC: (finishing for him) Don't like them, don't hate them.
LC: (writing something down) Cliche #42: indifference towards
cliches.
DC and Wildcat: ....Yeah.

>        Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask stood in utter astonishment as
>they saw Venus fall away from the side of the pit into the bottom.
>Sailor Moon heard the scream, then looked away in pain.

(LC cringes)

>        Rubeus teleported away, leaving the others to mourn their
>losses.  Tuxedo Mask walked over to the edge of the pit and looked
>in.  There had been snakes in the pit, which were already swarming
>over their food for the month.

Wildcat: I'd like to slap the person who came up with the word
"nausea".

>        He could hardly see any of what was left of Venus, and by
>the looks of the spikes at the bottom, he was glad that he
>couldn't.  He walked over to Moon and wrapped her in a reassuring
>embrace.

DC: (Tuxedo Mask) Um...I think someone put glue on your gloves
earlier.

>She felt safe in his grasp, and that was comforting, but only
>slightly.  They still had to either destroy Rubeus or get killed
>themselves.

LC: Ah, the excitement of a dramatic story.

>Neither of them liked the latter choice.
>        Luna and the other guardians walked up and gave their
>opinion of the whole situation.

DC: (Artemis) This bites, but don't take it literally.
LC: (Rigel) Rubeus is in the doghouse.
Wildcat: (Luna) Forget that.  I'm the cat's meow!

>       "We've got to get out of here," Luna said.
>       "We should get rid of Rubeus first," Artemis said.
>       "And quickly," Rigel confirmed.
>       "But how?" Moon asked.  "There's only two of us here."
>       "That doesn't mean that we can't win," Tuxedo said.

DC: "I hate cows," T-Shirt said.
LC: Raw, no.  Cooked and with ketchup, yes.

>        They went on in the direction that they had originally
>been going, and eventually came to a large, ornately decorated
>door, made out of oak from the look of it.  They pushed it open
>with a considerable amount of effort.

Wildcat: (captain) And...push!
All: (strained sing-song) Fifteen men...on a dead man's chest...
Wildcat: (captain) Thanks for opening the door for me.  Carry on,
mates.

>        Inside was a large chair that was more like a throne, made
>of gold and upholstered in red material that looked like silk.
>They approached the chair, and a flash of light went through the
>room.  When everyone's eyes had readjusted to the dark, they saw
>Rubeus sitting in the chair, looking very smug.

LC: (Rubeus) I took the last doughnut.  Nyah.

>        "So, you've finally decided to join me here for your own
>deaths," Rubeus said.

Wildcat: To quote Garfield, I wouldn't know what to wear to my own
funeral.

>        "What are you talking about?" Moon asked.  "We're the ones
>who are going to defeat you!"
>        "Oh, but I disagree.  You know how music can affect the
>outcome of a battle?

Wildcat: Why do you think I was playing "Electric Youth" earlier?

>Well, I've hired someone to play a special number just for this
>occasion."  A light shone on a corner, where a band was sitting
>with its instruments at the ready.

LC: The music from "Descent II" would fit in nicely here.

>Rubeus started them up, and they began playing a funeral dirge.
>"You'll be hearing your own dirge play as you go to the grave."

DC: Maestro, if you please.
(LC pushes a button on his armrest.  The "Moon Revenge" battle music
begins playing on the loudspeakers)
Wildcat: (blinks) Hey, I didn't install that song on there.
DC: (rubs his paws) Heh, heh....by his own theory, Rubeus is toast.

>        "I don't think so!" Tuxedo Mask said, throwing some roses
>at the stunned Rubeus.  The first rose caught Rubeus across the
>face, sending him spinning.  The rest pinned him all over the body,
>sending small rivulets of blood down his clothes.
>        He turned back to the two heroes, sending curses their way,
>then attacking.

Wildcat: Sent them via express air mail.
LC: Never swear in your letter-writing.

>He shot some blasts towards them.  Tuxedo was able to dodge with 
>plenty of time, but Sailor Moon tripped over herself.  She wasn't
>able to get up 

DC: ---in time for school, but that's not unusual.

>in time to get out of the way of the blasts.  She screamed in fear.
>She didn't want to die.  She doesn't have to die, Artemis thought
>as he jumped in the way of the oncoming blast.

LC: Truth be told, you don't have to die either.

>He was knocked into Sailor Moon.
>        "Artemis, you saved me!" Sailor moon said as she cradled
>the injured cat in her arms.

DC: Uhh...you think?

>        "I know, Princess," Artemis said, closing his eyes for
>the last time.  

(Wildcat lets out a strangled yowl)
DC: (mutters) Weak-hearted.
LC: (shakes his head) Not in the slightest.

>Sailor Moon was too hurt by this to let Rubeus get away with it.
>She stood up and took out her Scepter.  She aimed it towards Rubeus
>and put all her remaining energy into the one blast.
>        "Moon Scepter, ELIMINATION!"

Wildcat: Increase the potency of your attacks by encasing them in
capital letters.
DC: (shrugs) If it works, go with it.

>The Scepter went to its work, pouring out energy onto the enemy
>and his band.  The band disintegrated in a few moments, but Rubeus
>had a force field up, protecting him from the initial attack.  

LC: (chiding) Hey, what did the band ever do to you?

>Tuxedo Mask could see Moon tiring and could also see that Rubeus
>wasn't weakening.  He rushed to Moon and grabbed her.  He was able
>to transfer his energy to her to give her the blast that was needed
>to cripple the force-field and hit Rubeus.

LC: Imagine what would happen if Sailor Moon was a little more
high-strung.
Wildcat: (Cosby; kid voice) Will you stop touching me?!

>        Rubeus felt the attack breaching his force-field and
>started to panic.  As he felt the energy hit him, he gave up.  He
>dropped the force-field and fell to the floor.  His mind was clear
>for the first time in his life.

DC: (Rubeus) I *knew* that I forgot to buy cologne when I last went
to the store!

>        "Sailor Moon, You've defeated me!  I was going to kill you,
>but I couldn't.  Please, you must listen to me.  During the first
>part of my life, I was good.  The Dark Moon came and took my life
>and home for their own.

LC: (Rubeus) I think they stole my alarm clock.

>They forced me into servitude and brainwashed me.  If you can
>forgive me, then I can die a happy man."

Wildcat: Or whatever constitutes happiness for a Negaverse creep.
DC: Being able to have his cake and eat it, too.

>        "I forgive you," Moon said.  Rubeus smiled as he
>disappeared into nothing, his life ending.  With that, she broke
>into tears.  Too many lives had been lost on this mission.  She
>wanted to have her friends back, but there was no way to get it.

DC: Flaming E-mails.
LC: Could one of you please turn off that music?  I think the scene
is begging for something different.
Wildcat: (shrugs) Alright.

>Tuxedo helped her to her feet, for she had sunk to her knees during
>her crying.  She looked back at the spot where she had been
>sitting, and saw why he had pulled her away.

(Wildcat hits another button, shutting off the music)
DC: See?  It worked.
Wildcat: (shakes his head) Not likely.

>        Where her tears had fallen, there were small holes in the
>floor, growing larger by the moment.  The holes emitted a silver
>light, lighting the dim room.  When the holes had grown to about
>five feet in width, they stopped growing.

DC: And here's another road full of potholes.

>        "What are they?" Sailor Moon asked, awestruck by the utter
>beauty of the pools of silver.  It looked like mercury in its
>purest.

Wildcat: (Mercury) Why, thank you very much.

>        "They're emotion pools," Luna said.  "They're very rare,
>only occurring once in a lifetime.  I've only heard of them once
>before,

DC: --when Queen Serenity thought Sailor Pluto had stolen the
piano from the music hall.

>but it was during the Silver Millennium.  They're used to recover
>the dead at the price of a life.  You must only attempt it if you
>truly want the person brought back, or it won't work."

LC: Plot Reversal in its rarest form.

>        "I want them back," Moon said, stepping toward the pools.
>        "Wait, Princess," Rigel said, stopping her.  "You don't
>have to go.  I'll do it."
>        "Why should you have to give your life for them?" Sailor
>Moon asked.

Wildcat: (Rigel) Because if I go in, maybe I'll find that guy who
sold me that strobe light.

>        "So that you don't have to.  You're the Princess, and the
>others are needed to guide you.  I've served my purpose, training
>Europa.

DC: (laughs sharply)  Try training Io next time.

>I'll be all right.  Besides, these things happen so often, I
>figure, what the h***!

LC: What about it?  There's nothing wrong with kids' programming.

>Maybe you'll find a way to save me some day!"  Rigel looked at
>Luna and asked, "So, how do these things work, anyway?"

DC: (Luna) Just hope it doesn't lock up *after* you press CTRL-ALT-
DEL.

>        "Step in, and look for the spirit or spirits, in our case,
>and push them back towards the opening.  They'll emerge unscathed,
>and you'll be trapped there for the rest of your life in their
>stead."

Wildcat: Look out for a deck of playing cards while you're down
there.
LC: Plus a complete "Stratego" set.

>        "Sounds like a good deal," Rigel said, stepping into the
>pool.  He disappeared below the surface, which didn't ripple at
>all.  It just emitted the same eerie light.

DC: That means the recycling center is open.

>After a few moments, Mercury emerged, followed by Mars, Artemis,
>and Venus.  They all had puzzled looks on their faces.

LC: (as Zorak) Is someone boiling vinegar?

>        When all four had emerged completely and were away from the
>pools, the pools disappeared.  Sailor Moon, Tuxedo Mask, and Luna
>rushed over to the others and embraced them tightly.

DC: (Luna) Good.  The dog's gone for a while.  Anyone for some soda?
Wildcat: Let sleeping dogs lie, okay?  It's over.

>        "What happened?" Mars asked.
>        "It's a long story," Luna said.  "Let's just say that you
>can know what your mom went through on a smaller scale."
>        "Let's get out of here," Moon said.
>        "Wait," Venus said, "Where's Rigel?"

LC: Said, said, said.  Pronounce it differently, and it becomes
either an expelled breath or one end of a square.
DC: In short, go with variety?
LC: But of course.

>        "He gave his life to save you all," Tuxedo Mask said.  "He
>did it by his own consent, and he knew that he wouldn't be coming
>back."
>        "I swear on behalf of the Moon that I will find a way to
>bring Rigel back," Moon said.

Wildcat: Have you tried a dog whistle?

>"Considering the fact that I keep finding ways to resurrect
>everyone else, it doesn't seem too impossible."

LC: With all those contrivances, you could open your own grocery
store in Tokyo.

>        "Yeah, well, I don't think that Michael will be too happy
>to find out that his dog has died," Venus said.
>        "When he learns that it was in order to bring you back,
>he'll understand," Mercury said.
>        "Can we get out of here?" Moon asked impatiently.

DC: (Moon) Social studies class is scheduled here in a few hours.
LC: (nods) Yes, that should do it.

>        The four Scouts gathered together in a close circle and
>chanted the words, "Scout Power, Scout Teleport."  Almost
>instantly, they were teleported out of the room to their home.

Wildcat: The complicated version of Instant Transmission.

>        A long distance above the Earth, a UFO hung in the air
>silently and undetected. A figure watched from the inside of that
>UFO at the scene that had just taken place in his castle.

DC: Using the most powerful television in the universe: the store-
bought kind.
LC: It's not scary.

>        "They're stronger than I thought," Rubeus said to himself.
>"It's a good thing that I made that replica of myself as a
>precautionary measure against this sort of thing happening.  I just
>hope that Wiseman doesn't find out about this.

Wildcat: (quickly) You're fired!

>Hmph!  Started my life as good- Who programmed that thing, anyway?"

(DC does a Kagato-esque laugh)
LC: Okay, NOW it's scary.

>        The UFO moved out of its position and into space to do some
>heavy research and development before its next offensive on the
>planet.  Rubeus reasoned that he might have more luck by trying to
>attack different parts of the planet.

Wildcat: (chuckling evilly) Stanley Ipkiss, the Superfriends, and
the NHL will all be waiting for you.
LC: (puzzled) How'd pro sports get in this?
Wildcat: (chuckles) Watch any hockey game and see for yourself why.

>        A few mornings later, Michael awoke in his bed, as usual.
>Rigel wasn't at the foot of his bed.  Michael wondered why.  Rigel
>always loved waking him up.
>        Michael went through his usual morning routine without
>thinking another thing about Rigel.  He left his house a little
>early so that he could go talk to Serena before class started.

DC: Bad timing.  "Before" class started?

>When he got to class, he found someone who he hadn't expected to
>see.  Amy was sitting at her desk, and Michael joined her.

LC: (Michael) So...um...yeah.  
Wildcat: (Michael) Um...read any good books lately?

>He asked her about what had happened after he had left so that she
>could be there.  She didn't reply for a long time.  Michael could
>sense something in her manner that suggested sadness.

DC: (leaps out of his seat) This bites the dust like a terrier with
false teeth.  I'm outta here.

(Wildcat's dark copy heads towards the doors, but is tackled on the
way over there by the light copy.  The two of them continue to
fight as they scramble out.  A piece of paper flutters in the air
momentarily, then floats off-screen)

>       "What happened?" he asked.
>        "Rigel sacrificed himself to save us," Amy said with tears
>sparkling in her eyes.  Michael could feel some welling up in his
>own.

Wildcat: Yep.  Tear ducts are amazing things, aren't they?

>He had loved Rigel so much during the years that he had known
>Rigel, and now, Rigel was gone.  "It was the only way to do it.  He
>went very peacefully, it was his own decision."

Wildcat: (sniffs) I have nothing to say to that.

>        "I figured that he would go like that," Michael said, "Or
>something about choking on dog food.  I'll just have to get on with
>my life now."

Wildcat: (chokes back a sob) You do that.  I'll wait here and hold
down the fort.

>        "Yes, it's not like it was you who died.  You've got to be
>thankful about our own lives and his actions.  He wouldn't want you
>to go on in any other way than normal."

Wildcat: "Normal"?  Define, please.

>        "I can get over it, just like I had to get over giving my
>cats away to get Rigel.  Maybe we can get more cats now.  Oh, well,
>I've got to get to my desk now.  Class is starting."

Wildcat: (Michael) Hi, Han.  Sorry about the delay.  Let's get the
quad lasers ready.

>He sat down at his desk, and the instant that Ms. Haruna started
>teaching, he felt back in his element.  He would get over this
>through learning and fun.

Wildcat: Yeah...learning how the Death Star operates.

>The concert was that night.  He would take Mina, and they would
>forget about their priorities for one night.  One enjoyable night.

(Wildcat laughs ominously)

>End of Shadows From the Past.

Wildcat: Beginning of Silhouettes from the Future.

>Coming soon: Missing Crystals Series part one

Wildcat: Which will end as soon as they discover that they were
sitting on them this whole time.

>        MAN, THAT WAS LONG!!!  I never meant to drag it out like
>that, but that's the way that I am sometimes.  When I'm writing
>things to post, I try to minimize the lengths.  When I write for
>myself, I write for hundreds of pages.  But, that's not the point.

Wildcat: Ah, forget it.  Happens to a lot of people.

>        E-mail me at: jmh6187@uncwil.edu.  I'll read anything and
>reply if I can.  See you next time!

Wildcat: Don't count on it.

---

(Wildcat gets up, dusting off his paws as jazz plays in the
background)

Wildcat: And that....is that.

(The calico walks out of the theater, stopping only long enough to
deliver the customary **raspberry** towards the screen.  He grabs
the list of cliches off the wall on the way out)

---

(1...2...3...4...5...6)

---

(We see that the bridge has been completely restored to normal.
Wildcat is sitting at the main console, holding a piece of paper in
his paws.  He remains where he is, slowly reading the list of
cliches.  From time to time, the two Copycats rush by in their
haste to fight.  The calico cat finally notices a flashing light on
the console and hits it)                                                

Wildcat: Yo?

Razor's voice: I'm on my way to the bridge, Curtis.  I've figured
out how to solve our little "Copycat" problem.

Wildcat: Good.  See you in a few. (de-activates the transmission)

(The two Copycats dash onto the bridge, continuously exchanging
blows and swipes that never land.  Wildcat continues reading the
list of cliches.)

Wildcat: (to himself) "Bad guy always loses in the end...bad guy
tries to discredit heroes...bad guy has a maniacal laugh..."  Seems
like you have this list covered.

LC: (busily) Yes.  There was one more I never got the chance to
list.

Wildcat: What's that?

LC: "Good guy becomes increasingly obvious in his statements."

Wildcat: Oh.  Just curious. (looks down the hallway) In fact, I have
only one more thing to say.

DC: (snarls) And what's that?

Wildcat: (grins) "Cheese!"

DC: (as he and the LC stop; irritated) What on Mobius are you
talking abou---

(An orange laser fired from down the hall splits into three seperate
beams, which strike Wildcat and the two Copycats.  As the view
turns into a virtual photo negative, we can see the Copycats
dematerializing and returning to where they belong: Wildcat's
conscious mind.  The screen turns completely white)

(When the screen fades back to normal, Razor, T-Bone, and Tails are
standing in front of a disoriented Wildcat.  The view itself is back
to normal.  The Kopykat Kreator device is resting on the console)

Wildcat: (one hand on his forehead) Ugh...aspirin tablet, protector
of the weak.

Tails: Are you okay?

Wildcat: (growling) Mostly, but I have a headache larger than Boston
and Megakat City put together.

T-Bone: (grins) In other words, you're fine. (to Razor) Just in case
you forgot, there's enough salvage in the cargo bay to "repair" the
Satellite.  If you know what I mean.

Wildcat: (uncomprehendingly) What do you...(realizes something;
smirks) Right.  There are still some "repairs" to be done.  Heh,
heh. (drops his hand from his head)

Tails: (worried; also speaking in code) But...what if Robotnik
doesn't like the "repair job"?

Razor: The worst he can do is send us another movie, Tails.

Wildcat: Yeah.  If I have to, I can sit through an entire marathon.
If that scrambled egg thinks that he can tame me with these three-
star productions, he's got another thing coming to him.

T-Bone: Three-star they may be now, but what if Blobbo begins
sending us something worse?

Wildcat: (thoughtful) It could just be his plan to start out with
the good stuff.  Maybe his plan isn't to inflict pain on us, but to
get us gradually used to the bad stuff.

Tails: You sure?

Wildcat: It's just a thought, but it's probably not that far off.

(Everyone looks at each other nervously for a few moments.)

Razor: (thoughtful) I have the distinct feeling that we're going
to need help.

Wildcat: That reminds me.  When those copycats and I were in the
theater earlier, I think we spouted more sarcastic wit through those
three parts than in the entire first half put together.

Razor: (smirks) Is that so?  You need us to get our minds active?

Wildcat: If at all possible.  It could be key to keeping our
tolerance levels low.

Tails: (smiles) Sounds like fun.

T-Bone: Remember that we have a bunch of other things to work on.
It's not like we can just do that on top of everything else!

Wildcat: (narrows his eyes; smirks) Oh, I think we can manage
somehow.

Razor: (rubs his hands) In that case, the next few months are gonna
be *really* busy.


(Down in Robotnik's fortress, the doctor himself is walking about,
checking the external condition of the Satellite.)

Robotnik: Hmmm.....I wonder....Scratch?  Grounder?

(There is no response, except a slight giggling.)

Robotnik: (annoyed) What are you two...(turns around).....doing?

(The two robots are still poised in front of the monitor from
earlier, watching the meteorite shower striking the Satellite in
slow motion.  Every now and then, one of them snickers or makes an
explosion noise.)

Robotnik: (groans; palms his forehead) This is not my day.

(Down the hall from the chamber is a cage composed of reinforced
titanium, with energy bars preventing the occupant's escape.  The
"occupant", as it turns out, is Sonic himself.  The blue hedgehog
is watching the scene with only partial interest, but is grinning
nonetheless)

Sonic: (to himself) Blobbo, from here on in, it's only going to get
a lot worse.

(Fade to Black)

(Credits)

-----------------------------

	>"That takes care of that little nuisance," Jupiter said as
	>Mercury followed her out.  "Now, let's get on with our 
	>mission."

-----------------------------

* -- Mare - e + hiss - h + a.  You can figure out the rest.

E-mail: supreme_cat@hotmail.com
URL: http://members.tripod.com/only1wildcat

-
MSTer's COMMENTS

I don't have much to say.  First off as a reminder, the WST
storyline takes place in the Y2K.

Next, about that help that Razor mentioned?  I'd quote Xellos, but
it's been done already.

I'm not sure if I'm going to keep riffing fics using this storyline,
but if I do I'm going to have to pop up at random points.  This is
because the authors of a few of the fics I wanted to work with have
not answered my E-mails, and I'd prefer to have permission to work
on them.  Since there's been no response, I'll just skip those and
move on ahead.

I'd like to say thanks to M.H. Torringjan and Zoogz for reading the
rough draft of Part Seven and offering their comments.  That was
much appreciated.

Okay.  Everything's over and done, and you can get on with your
lives now.  Comments and *constructive* criticism are welcome.
Don't bother with flames; my soda doubles as a fire extinguisher.
Catch you later! 

***TRANSMISSION TERMINATED***