Kissing


Q: This stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent; men like it more strenuous.

What is it?

A: A kiss.

Ahh.... kissing.... What could be better than that?

"The Art of Kissing"

* Lip Only Kiss: When the only parts of your bodies that touch are your lips.

* French Kiss: Lips touching, mouths open, exploring each other with your tongues.

* Nip Kiss: When you add gentle, little nibbles of your lover's lower lip.

* Cradling Kiss: When you hold your lover's face in both hands while kissing.

* Switch Kiss: When you kiss your partner's upper lip while s/he kisses your lower lip. (Also known as Hollywood Kissing...just watch the actors in the movies, especially the actors in the 40s and 50s movies.)

* Zorro Kiss: Also known playfully as the "Dueling Tongues" kiss.

* Sleep Kiss: Kissing your partner gently while s/he sleeps.

* Awakening Kiss: Kissing your partner's lips gently at first, and then increasing the pressure until s/he awakens.

* Butterfly Kiss: When you lightly brush your eyelashes against your partner's cheek, or other body part.

* Red Corvette Kiss: While driving with your partner, kissing every time you spot a red Corvette.

* Vacuum Kiss: Sucking the air out of each other's mouths, and then separating with a pop!

* Cordial Kiss: Taking a sip of your favorite cordial or liqueur, keeping it in your mouth, then kissing your partner, sharing the liquid.

* Humming Kiss: Humming her favorite love song while kissing her... down below.

"Professor's Definitions Of A Kiss"

Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:

Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.

Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing.

Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.

Prof. of Physics: A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

Prof. of Chemistry: A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

Prof. of Zoology: A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology: A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in the state of contraction.

Prof. of Dentistry: A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

Prof. of Accountancy: A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Prof. of Economics: A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.

Prof. of Statistics: A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.

Prof. of Philosophy: A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Prof. of English: A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Prof. of Engineering: Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.