The Sandwich Spread Commandments...
In order to follow the religion of Sandwich Spreadism it was essential that the
following rules - first heard by Steven Pockett and his band of travellers -
were obeyed at all times;
1. "You shall eat no food other than sandwich spread"
2. "You shall not take the name of sandwich spread and use it in vain"
3. "You shall remember and keep your used jars of sandwich spread holy"
4. "Honour your sandwich spread"
5. "You shall not kill someone with sandwich spread"
6. "You shall not commit adultery with the aid of sandwich spread"
7. "You shall not eat more than two jars of sandwich spread in one day"
8. "You shall not show fake sandwich spread to your neighbour"
9. "You shall not eat your neighbour's wife's sandwich spread"
10. "You shall not steal your neighbour's sandwich spread"
Even now, following the demise of the Children of the Sandwich Spread, an
estimated 73% of the Earth's population still live their lives carrying out
these ten basic commandments - an achievement that the Sandwich Spread God would
really have been proud of.