We all know those cute little computer symbols called
 "emoticons," where :) means a smile and :( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by :-) and  :-(  respectively.

Well, how about some "assicons"?
 Here goes:
     (_!_) a regular ass
 
    (__!__) a fat ass

    (!) a tight ass

    (_^^_) a bubble ass

    (_*_) a sore ass
 
    {_!_} a swishy ass
 
    (_o_) an ass that's been around

    (_x_) kiss my ass

    (_X_) leave my ass alone

    (_zzz_) a tired ass

    (_o^^o_) a wise ass

    (_E=mc2_) a smart ass

    (_$_) Money coming out of his ass
 
    (_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been e-mooned!