A Later Collection

SEARCH PARTY

I walk through woods,
a "stranger in a strange
land" -
Roots and vines
impede me,
but my step is unswayed

I come to a stream
the first friendly voice
encountered -
It speaks to me in a
gentle,
muted tone

I have not heard this voice
before
and lest it think me rude,
I drink it in
hoping maybe,
like the blood of Christ,
it will reveal to me
its arcane secrets,
once imbibed

So too, as on
our first encounter,
I drank you in
with my eyes.

Revelation
has yet to come!

---

NATIVE LORE

In earlier days
Indians
taught us
how they would hold stones
in their mouths
to keep them from going
dry

Years after
you have gone
I still grasp for stones
to hold in my
heart
to keep it from going dry.

Thank you,
Indians.

---

THE EARLY BIRD GETS...?

Like a baby bird
with hungry mouth
agape
I beg, feebly
for sustenance

I flutter and squirm
and strain
for your attention
(It seems in vain)

Tell me . . .
if you were a bird
would you feed me
more than empty words?

---

AD INFINITUM

A womb
of four bare-white
gleaming light,
barred walls
where
ignorance and greed
Meet . . . and mate

The sperm of frustration
marries
with the egg of anger
and soon,
too soon
a son of destruction
is born

He is named;
convict -
Without nurture
he will grow
to spread the legacies
of his parents,
and spew his own seed
across the land

Note well -
his progeny is voracious
and you,
your sons,
your daughters
are their "Happy Meals"!

As for birth control,
confinement
is a leaky condom
and only
education, understanding, and care
can abort
this child of doom!

---

SAUDADES

(from the Portuuese:
The sad and suave rememberance of persons or things distant or gone.)

your eyes,
are nothing

Your voice,
is nothing

Your essence,
is nothing. . .

But remember,
Nothing lasts forever!

---

IMMUTABLE

Initials,
carved on a tree -
too soon cut down

Words,
written in sand -
lost to interminable tides

Voices,
cast to the wind-
carried to far, frozen peaks

Dreams,
lost, in the still ethers
of night

Of these most tenuous things,
no records exist . . .
but your beauty,
branded on my soul,
will go with me
to eternity

---

QUESTIONS

How do you know
when the sun is happy ...
Which rays are brighter?

How do you know
When the rain is crying ...
Which drops are wetter?

how do you know
when I'll stop loving you ...?

When all the grains of sand
on our beach
have been counted.

---

FREEFALL

We all have dreams
of flying
and
falling ...
When we were together
I flew
higher
than Icarus
and
;when I fell
I never crashed to earth

Since you left,
the fall is endless
and
God, or the Devil
won't let me hit the ground.

---

YOU 'CAN' GET BLOOD FROM A ROCK

You
of all people
should know that

I was a
rock. . .
You crushed me with
the sledge
of your indifference

Look closely
amidst the detritus
and see the
flecks of crimson,
then
call "Bartlett's"
and tell them -
when love is denied
even quotations
must change

---

WHAT MIGHT BE

If
my legs weren't made
of stone
I could have run
after you

If
My eyes weren't clouded
with pain
I could find
your secret place

If
my mouth wasn't full
of ash
I could call you to return

If
my heart wasn't torn
apart
I coulde give it to you
as ransom

If you had any
mercy
you'd know all of this

---

"CIRQUE DE COEUR"

(Circus of the Heart)

My words,
like tiny elephants
linked, trunked to tail,
shamble slowly across the paper.

Blindly following,
each to each,
not knowing where they're
going -
only trusting that the
leader
will not put them
in peril.

So I must believe
that they will take me
where I want to go ...
shuffle softly
to your ear -
and then your heart,
where you, like tiny elephants,
can never forget.

---

"HIT AND RUN"

You were my Lamborghini
Diablo! ...
sleek, rich, and fast -
speeding through
dark nights
with a deep, vibrant, hum.

I thought I could handle you ...
tame your spirit -
use you to outrun all my cares.
It was not to be.

You never saw me
as I stood there ...
imploring you to take me
wherever your trail
might lead.

But, I was only
road-kill
on your yellow brick road
to Oz.

As your ruby-red lights
faded into the dusk
you barely noticed
the small bump,
or the large crimson stain
left in your wake ...

and only the crows
gave thanks.

---

DAWN'S DRAMA

Some small, sibilant
sound
in the night
(like ice, returning to water)
softly
tickles my ear,
and brings me to wakefulness.

Your breath,
heavy and humid,
presses against my neck,
and I bathe in its
tropic essence.

The lush, heavy weight
of your breast
rests, like a plump
baby dove,
in the crook of my arm,
and I'm reluctant to move
lest it be startled.

The scent of your salt-sweat
soaked hair takes me back
to nights at the beach
with its crashing waves and
our clashing bodies.

Pale pink light
leaks through the blinds
and paints your lips in
pomegranate perfection.

When I can no longer hold
this tableau
I touch your fluttering eyes
with a kiss,
and know this day will be sweet.

UNIVERSAL CHILD

There is only one child in the world,
and the child's name is All Children.~
-- Carl Sandberg

I shiver in the heat of
noon
watching tiny waves
lapping
at your toes...
your tinkling, crystal laughter
merges with the bubbling
surf
and scatters like silver minnows,
spooked by a circling gull

I Know, one day
the surf will churn,
and the vind will sting,
with storm tossed sand...

My day darkens as I wonder.
who will be there then,
to wrap you in your
warm
Snoopy blanket?

---

FIRST LESSONS

My father. . .
one hand on the fender
and one hand on the seat
of my bike --
steadying me, on course
and smiling

My father
one hand to the back of my head
and one hand to the side
of my jaw -
knocking me off balance
and scowling.

It would have been better
if he had let
the bike
fall.......................

---

ME AND YOU, AND A DOG NAMED BLUE
(Lobo)

Do I remind you
of Blue -
jumping and slathering over everything in sight
at your return
peeing in abject ecstasy
at the mere thought of your
hand, scratching behind his ear?

Blue was a battered beagle
who didn't know the word
quit...
it was in his genes
to bound you, and tremble
with orgasmic anticipation
at the sound of your
"Good Boy!"

I had more pride
than Blue
and would not slink off,
with tail tucked humbly,
if you looked at me
askance

But, like Blue,
I did not eat for days
when you left, and
on certain star dark nights
the neighbors still can't
figure out
exactly who
is howling at the moon

---

FUN AND GAMES

You don't play
fair -
Hide and Seek
implies a mutuality
of trust...
I hide,

you seek -

It's a contract.
You told me to hide...
I did - in a place I
know you knew about -
why haven't you found
me?

---

SPRING WILL BE LATE THIS YEAR

Each year
winter is supposed to
turn to Spring,
when flowers bloom
and Robin's sing...

But, this year
winter turned to winter -
no birds were seen,
no notes were heard,
and my heart remains
frozen...
much like the earth
we had to chip away
to lay you down
in December

---

LAMENTATION

I'd rather go to a funeral
than a wedding...
I don't have to say anything -

no one9s listening, and
I don't have to bring a gift.
or put up with the bride's
drunken uncle,
singing 22 verses of "Feelings"

I'd rather go to a funeral -
everyone knows how it's going to end...
unlike a vedding,
where everyone wonders
how long it will last -
while they fight
for the centerpiece

I'd rather go to
my funeral
than lose you
at your wedding

---

LEGACIES

(Dedicated To The Families of Littleton, CO)

I am one of the boys
that made you cry
and thought it was funny

Your crooked teeth
labeled you a geek
and we were cool
so we couldn't speak...
Your pain was hidden -
we didn't care...
we laughed and pointed
at your frizzy hair

You were a shadow
to be ignored,
except in times of boredom
when you would be
hauled into the vitriolic light
of our disdain

You would stand there -
your flesh twitching
like a colt... startled,
but not to the point of flight -
as our invective
lashed you,
and made welts appear
on your soul

I don't know how you endured
those years - it would have been
unendurable
for me...
and I don't know where you went
after graduation, but
I'm sorry I made you cry,
and, if you went to Colorado,
I'm sorry
that your prodigal sons
(who were also different')
inherited your wrath
and made everyone else cry
at Columbine today

---

FOOL'S GOLD

A fisherman
flicks
his line
into a still pool -
an explosion of foam
marks the moment
when some innocent
but hungry
mouth
sucks in the shiny
offering
for sustenance

Innocence is lost
as cold, barbed steel
rips into tender
flesh

In my innocence
and hunger
you have ripped
my tender flesh,
on more than one occasion,
since I have never
learned
that all that glitters
is not love

---

DIRTY DANCING

Two grapes
Tango
in a crushing vat
a 'Dance of death',
as they joyously give up
their life's juices,
to blend with others of
their ilk -

Frothily churning
and tumbling, their pale skins
are discarded
later to fatten some obtuse
pigs.

Fermentation works its magic
as they sit patiently
in the dark
and ponder their distant
rebirth.

In some far future time,
at the stroke of midnight,
they burst forth, with a loud pop'
and a magnificent surge
of bubbles -
whence, they're
greedily imbibed.

They speed to the brain...
dull some senses,
kill some cells
and run off to see
what damage they can do
to a liver.

With their night's work done,
they go to visit a kidney,
where they are rejected,
and pissed away...
much like the passion
of our relationship.

So please,
the next time I ask you
to dance...
just say no!

---

SECOND OPINION

I chose to live my life
as a mirror
taking in all
that was given
me
but giving all back
unadorned

Some loved me for it -
but most cursed my
honesty
and called me
brutal...
give us more,
they cried -
change us - make us better!

Could I diminish myself
to please them...?
no... sorry...
perhaps my cousin,
at the "fun house"!

---

BEAUTY IS AS BEAUTY DOES

A scintillating swirl
of kaleidoscopic colors
marks the passage
of the "Monarch"

The nane itself
implying its majestic
domonance of the rainbow's
palette

Its skittering flight
oblitetates all laws
of geometry
and even winds bow
to its whim

With all that,
another player,
or equally regal hue,
the "Cardinal",
disdains to worship
at beauty's altar,
preferring instead
a meal of many colors...

proof once again
that even celestial beauty
is no talisman
against the mundane

---

MAN'S BEST FRIENDS

I hear the wolves
howling in the distance...
their sound is primal
and lonely

I hear the wine
rushing through the unfilled
cracks
of my cabin's walls --

I hear your words
screeching in my head
as my eyes follow the frozen lines
on the paper
in front of me...
each syllable
as sharp
and as ripping
as the fange
of the approaching canids

I search in memory
for any weapons to defend from them...
"always" - "forever";
dull and useless
against the mauling
of "someone else" - "leaving"

The noise of the pack is
outside my door
but I hear only the sound of brittle tears
shattering on the floor

Barbarous claws are tearing
at the wood...
vicious lies are ripping
at my heart

My pursuers are in a frenzy
as their blood lust explodes...

I walk, softly, to the door
and welcome them in

---

UNCONSCIONABLE

The chickadee the cat clawed
Is here this morning on one leg.
With no tailfeathers left he lights
And, balancing, begins to beg.
"Indomitable"
-- Mark Van Doren >

The child the father mauled
Is here this morning with one eye.
With no illusions left he sits
And, quietly, looks into my eyes.

I cannot, on pain of death,
return his gaze.

---

CUT-RATE THERAPY

Me, and my M-16...
the barrel' s smokin1i cherry hot~ and
the casings are piled about
like dead moths
who prayed at the altar of flame

My shoulder aches
and my eyes sting
with tears and sweat, as
round after round
is fired into the
obsidian night of mind

I'll be out of ammo
long before
all my demons
are dead...
should I save the last one
for myself -
it's only 42 cents?

Trauma

The pain
Slashing at my window
had a rhythm

The jazz
Blasting from the apartment next-door
Had a beat

Your heart
Thudding against my chest
Had a tempo

The blended melody
Played on
frenetically

Rhythm, Beat, Tempo...
I should've been able to dance
To it -

I would have.
If I wasn't paralyzed
By the crash

Of the door
Slamming behind you

---

TURNSTILE BLUES

A subway
hurtles through the night
tearing holes through
carbonized tunnels
of miasmic muck.
like a long. Silver, tape-worm
gone berserk

Fillcd with drones.
clones.
bones of the
dead bcfore thei time,
it wends its way
through the guts
of the city

Pneumatically sucking in
and spewing out its cargo.
at random stops -
their journey is preordained
by cold, snaking
rails

Fetid air,
and jaundiced light
sustain the masses,
while grinding wheels
dull conscious thought

At ride's end.
they emerge from
the carnage
longing for the
antiseptic rays
of dawn's new day.

Too late they realize.
to their abject horror.
that it is not the penultimate stop...
but just a small anomaly
on their treadmill
to infinity

---

THE INSTALLMENT PLAN

Last week I bought
a large screen TV -
that was for the black eye
when I was six

Yesterday I bought
a twenty-five hundred dollar suit -
that was for the loose teeth
when I was ten

Tomorrow I'm buying
a Jaguar, XK-E -
That's for missing my graduation,
at seventeen

Next week I'll pay for
the couch time with my psych -
that's for when you died
last year

After that,
I'll be broke...

All I wanted to
buy
was some time
with you.

---

ARCHITECTURE

The State has built this prison
to the highest standards
Stone and steel;
a fortress
to last through the ages.

They say no one
can get out...
They've been proven
wrong
in the past

I have built my walls
with impeccable care.
Tears and ashes
of bridges burned;
a sanctuary
to last through the nights.

I say no one
can get in...
I've been proven
right
in the past!

---

Visitors to this page since March 24,1998

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