| Wednesday
16 February 2000 Reading: Memnoch the Devil -- Anne
Rice
|
| 9:30 am
My ideal job - something I can do from home, doing something important and useful. Makes 30-60 thousand a year. Benefits and retirement. I can set my own hours, but I have deadlines. Sounds somewhat like self-employment except for the benefit package, course I don't know any company who does that. I don't even know what career I want to do. I found out robotics and prosthesis (what I wanted to do) I would have to live in Seattle for a couple years. While I would love nothing more than to live in Seattle and pursue my dream job, I'm kind of tied to the area because of the kids. The clerical thing was good for a beginning, but it all seems to lead nowhere but management. Bluebird no like managment, Bluebird hate being boss, not gonna, don't want to, nuh uh! Heard late last night that most multi millionaires were not born into their money, were B and C students in college, and chose a field where their talents lay and they were happy. Kinda makes ya hopeful for poor Bluebird, don't it? I just feel like my life is being wasted, just slipping through my fingers. I have 2 wonderful daughters, two cool stepkids, and a half-way decent significant other. But no house, lots of bills, no money, and if I can't find a career soon instead of these penny ante jobs, I'm not going to be able to have any more babies, cause I won't have anywhere to put them and I won't be able to afford them. Life sucks sometimes. Speaking of which - my cousin got pregnant by a married guy who didn't tell her he was still married until much later. His wife finally filed, but Cric already figured out what kind of guy he was: nothing she needs, nothing she wants. So her parents are having hissy fits about her having a baby out of wedlock. They already house her and help take care of her son (she's divorced). They won't help her take care of a mistake (their words). She's going to college right now and can't afford to drop out. I offered to take the baby, but she says that's not really realistic. Neither is giving a baby to strangers but she thinks that is what she is going to have to do. At least Luc and Lu I consider my family. They weren't strangers at all. Family belongs with family. I'll call her tonight and see what she's going to decide. She only has a couple more months. If Luc and Lu had the money for another adoption process, I'd ask them if they want another daughter. Maybe I'll bring it up, maybe not. We'll see what Cric says. 4:35 pm
|