IT COULDN'T PLEASE ME MORE Fraulein Schneider: HERR SCHULTZ, CAN I BELIEVE WHAT I SEE? BUT, THIS IS TOO MUCH TO ACCEPT. IT’S SO RARE, SO COSTLY, SO LUXURIOUS. IF YOU BROUGHT ME DIAMONDS, IF YOU BROUGHT ME PEARLS, IF YOU BROUGHT ME ROSES LIKE SOME OTHER GENTS MIGHT BRING TO OTHER GIRLS, IT COULDN'T PLEASE ME MORE, THAN THE GIFT I SEE... A PINEAPPLE FOR ME. Herr Schultz: IF IN YOUR EMOTION, YOU BEGIN TO SWAY. WENT TO GET SOME AIR OR GRAB THE CHAIR TO KEEP FROM FAINTING DEAD AWAY. IT COULDN'T PLEASE ME MORE THAN TO SEE YOU CLING. A PINEAPPLE FROM ME. Both: AHHH.... Schneider: I CAN HEAR HAWAIIAN BREEZES BLOW. Both: AHHH.... Schultz: IT’S FROM CALIFORNIA Schneider: EVEN SO, HOW AM I TO THANK YOU? Schultz: KINDLY LET IT PASS. Schneider: WOULD YOU LIKE A SLICE? Schultz: THAT MIGHT BE NICE, BUT FRANKLY, IT WOULD GIVE ME GAS. Schneider: THEN WE SHALL LEAVE IT HERE {she places the pineapple into the hands of the emcee, who has quietly come onto the stage}, NOT TO EAT BUT SEE. A PINEAPPLE FOR ME. Schultz: FROM ME. Both: AHHH… THEY DANCE Schneider: OH, BUT YOU MUSN'T BRING ME ANY MORE PINEAPPLES. DO YOU HEAR? IT IS NOT PROPER. IT IS A GIFT A YOUNG MAN WOULD BRING FOR HIS LADY LOVE. IT MAKE ME BLUSH. Schultz: BUT THERE IS NO ONE, NO ONE IN ALL OF BERLIN WHO IS MORE DESERVING. IF I COULD, I WOULD FILL YOUR ENTIRE ROOM WITH PINEAPPLES. A PINEAPPLE FOR YOU Schneider: FROM YOU Both: AHHH.... Schneider: I THINK I WILL LIE DOWN FOR A FEW MOMENTS, MY HEAD IS SPINNING. Schultz: FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER......GOOD EVENING. Schneider: GOOD EVENING HERR SCHULTZ, I AM......OVERWHELMED!