This Is michiru. 
This is a piece of cheese 
Any questions?
Now, let's go beyond visual.
Does cheese talk?
Well, have /you/ ever heard cheese speak? I have, once. It told me to run before the watermelon ate me. Then it shouted BOINGO and disappeared in a puff of smoke. But let's be realistic. Cheese would never give up the world for it's love, so michiru is not cheese
Cheese's Abilities
Can cheese beat the crap out of bad guys? I think not. It sits in the fridge. And sits. And sits. And becomes moldy. And sits some more, until someone throws it away. Michiru doesn't. Thank god. That would be pretty gross.
Does cheese have long, flowing, shiny hair?
Obviously, no. Cheese does not have hair like Michiru's. OK, OK, i know what you're going to say. "Well, I looked in my fridge the other day and the cheese had hair on it. Not pretty hair like Michiru's, but hair nonetheless." is what you'll say. All that means is that you need to clean out your fridge more often, not that the cheese is Michiru.
Does Michiru melt?
Well, maybe when Haruka smiles at her. But not if you put her in a microwave, which would be a very mean thing to do, by the way. However, cheese /does/ melt when you put it in a microwave. Funny about that, ne?
Is Cheese Bishojo?
Certainly not. I mean, it's obvious. Have you ever seen a yellow bishojo? I don't think so. But cheese is yellow! So, since cheese is not bishojo and Michiru is,she most definitely is not cheese.
OK, I believe you. Michiru is most definitely not cheese. But what do I do if I meet someone who thinks he /is/ cheese?
Don't worry! You can be prepared for such situations easily. First, list the reasons Michiru is not cheese. Then, show him or her a visual aid. If this person does not speak English, here is a helpful guide as to how to convince them in their native language.
German: Michiru is nicht kaese.
Chinese: Liu xiu bu shi qixi.
Japanese: Michiru wa kanraku ja nai.
Pig Latin: ichiru-may is-hay ot-nay ees-chay.
Latin: Michiru non est caesus.
French: Michiru n'est pas fromage.
Spanish: Michiru no esta queso.
Phillipino: Si Michiru ay hindi queso.
Italian: Michiru non formaggio.
Greek: Michiru xiiz ouk estiv
Swedish: Michiru r inte ost
Korean: Michiru ga cheese ani ya
Wait! You can't go yet! I have another question. Where can I find out what cheese /is/?
That's easy, my friend! Just surf on over to Cheese.com for helpful information on many different kinds of cheeses, how they're made, what to serve them with, and even Cheese News!
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