Doctor Who: Timeless Tales

The Wicker Man

Timeless Tales
The First Doctor
The Second Doctor
The Third Doctor
The Fourth Doctor
The Fifth Doctor
The Sixth Doctor
The Seventh Doctor
The Eighth Doctor
The Ninth Doctor
The Tenth Doctor
The Eleventh Doctor

now a motion picture...

It was getting closer, the shadowy figure could be seen against the dark blue sky as an inky shape. Jill Munro screamed as it got closer and closer before it was too late.

 

 

"Who is that man Daddy? He looks silly in that outfit," Harriet Rutherford asked.

"An old friend of mine," Albert Rutherford informed his daughter. "I think we'll have to kill him my dear. You did well yesterday and your teachers tell me that you're the top of your class. You make a father proud so you can kill them both for me."

 

 

Peri Brown looked at the quaint English village and thought it looked dull. "What are we doing here Doctor?" she asked her colourfully dressed travelling companion, a mysterious wanderer from another world, who liked to be known as the Doctor.

"Relaxing," the Doctor enthused. "After all that we've been through I thought you could do with a few days to unwind." He looked at his glum young friend and frowned. "You are all right aren't you? No side effects from changing into a Thargon and back again?"

"I'm fine, really," Peri smiled. "I'm just curious as to the location. Sleepy little villages in the Home Counties are not exactly what I had in mind when you said a nice time."

The Doctor's frown grew even greater. "What exactly does it take to please you then? I could have quite easily left you as a Sorsen you know."

"Not much," Peri huffed. "A nice beach, somewhere sunny, a good book, remaining human ... and the benefit of your company of course." She smiled at him. "Maybe next time I pick the destination? This is supposed to be Argolis you know, the planet of shopping malls."

"Unlikely," the Doctor admitted honestly, "but nothing is ever certain. Shall we explore?" He held out his arm for Peri to take a hold of. "This area is renowned for it's rare plants, something you perhaps had not considered?"

 

 

Jack Grainger waved to his old friend Henry Preston. "How's Mary this week? Has she gotten over the flu?"

Henry waved back. "Almost, Doctor Dundee recommends that she spends the next two days in bed though to make sure."

"Eliza sends her love to you both." Jack passed on his wife's best wishes. "See you in the Dog and Goose this afternoon for a pint?"

"Sure," Henry replied. "Looking forward to it."

 

 

Peri felt as if everyone's eyes were looking at her. She was beginning to regret wearing her favourite pink leotard and matching shorts and shoes, but only a little. They were strangers in the village after all; it was to be expected. That didn't stop them from being rude however. At least she could be certain that more people were looking at the Doctors crazy ensemble. She was thankful for once that his nightmare coat was taking away the attention from her; she'd been menaced by enough lecherous people to last her a lifetime, thank you very much.

"I wonder what everyone is looking at?" the Doctor asked Peri. "You'd think they had never seen two innocent strangers before."

"Maybe they don't have your refined sense of minding your own business?" Peri joked.

"Possibly," the Doctor admitted. "However it could be that your clothes are causing all the interest."

"What?" Peri snapped irritably at the Doctor. "My clothes? Have you seen your outfit lately? I have to tell people that you're colour blind to stop them insulting you!"

 

 

Lawrence Verne, the local sandwich board man, scrawled the new message on his boards. It was a strange one all right, probably from some kids having a laugh but the money was paid so who was he to argue? Slowly he began his circuit of the village from up by Miller's house down into the village itself and then down to Grainger's bungalow and then all the way back up the hill again.

 

 

Michelle, Tanya and Juliet got off the two o'clock bus after another day's shopping in the nearby town of Wiccaster. They had all bought new dresses for the dance tomorrow night and couldn't wait to get back to Tanya's house and try them on.

"I'm going to look so amazing," Juliet gushed. "Peter Winthrop will not know what to do, I may just have to help him!"

Michelle and Tanya giggled along with their friend. "Are you going to ... you know?" Tanya asked.

"No way." Juliet stated firmly. "Not unless he buys me the ring I've been dropping enough hints about. Then I might drop them but only if I want to."

"Go on Juliet, you show him who's the boss. Now what do you think Jim Roper's first words will be when he sees how low cut my dress is?"

The girls continued to gossip as the walked towards Tanya's house.

 

 

Peri sipped the bland tea that still filled the dainty little cup they had given her. The Doctor had managed to wash down two full lunches with what must have been a bucket full of tea. All she had was two slices of lightly buttered toast and she could feel that going straight to her hips and butt. Maybe she would have to investigate salads tomorrow and try to salvage her diet.

"Aren't you drinking that?" the Doctor asked jovially before ordering Peri some more toast. "You need to put some meat on your bones Peri, otherwise you won't be able to fight a dozen Sontarans in hand to hand combat."

"That's something I was so looking forward to," Peri muttered. "As if I wasn't big enough already."

"Nonsense, I've seen broom handles with more fat on them. You should look after your body Peri, it's the only one you've got."

That's okay for you porky, Peri thought. Once you've scoffed your way through the Universe you can regenerate once you have the most violent heart attacks ever witnessed. "I'm on a diet Doctor," Peri explained. "What's the point of trying to be self disciplined if you give in at the slightest pressure?"

"Very well then," the Doctor said slowly. "I'll try and be more supportive in future as long as it benefits you in the long run." Happily he munched on the plate of toast Peri had turned her nose up at. "What would you rather do first? Go for a long walk up the hill and back down again or downhill first and then a long struggle back up on tired legs?"

Peri glanced at an advert in the courtesy newspaper. Grinning she pointed at a half page advert. "Let's go here."

"Shoe city, buy twenty pairs of shoes get one free." The Doctor scratched his long blonde curly hair. "I was thinking of something a little more restful."

Peri turned the paper around and looked at the page. "No, not that advert, we can go there tomorrow. This one, the wishing well."

"Ah," the Doctor sighed contentedly after finishing the last of the toast. "Well it does sound interesting."

Peri looked out of the window and saw one of those guys with the message boards passing by. Both front and back read 'your time will come.' Must be one of those crazy religious cults she thought. You got lots of them back home in the states; anyone could start their own religion with minimal outlay and a charismatic preacher. Her mom had been in the First Methodist Church of California briefly until they closed them down when they discovered that the guy running it was using it as a front to traffic in cocaine. She remembered talking mom out of trying to pay the guys bail for him along with a dozen other mesmerised members. That was what led to her meeting her step dad and the holiday to Lanzerote. She was thankful she had met Turlough and then the Doctor; she might have turned out the same way. A stray thought crossed into Peri's overactive imagination, the shadow of the Wicker Man is rising up again. Where had that come from? No never mind, probably nothing.

 

 

Tanya took out the book she had found buried in among her father's shelves. It was a neat book on witchcraft and she knew that the others would like it to. She thought they could try and make a love potion or maybe curse Harriet Rutherford for flaunting herself at their boyfriends. Her father was even stranger, a weird guy with piercing eyes and a beard! The way he looked at them too, like they were insects and not supermodels-to-be made their flesh crawl when they spotted him dropping Harriet off at school every morning.

"Let's summon up the devil!" Michelle exclaimed excitedly. "I'd sell my soul for a boob job."

"Would not," Juliet joked.

"She would too," Tanya joined in. "You need to fill out your clothes a bit more Michelle."

"Look who's talking?" Michelle retorted.

 

 

Verne had finished his round of the village and had just gone inside his house when the phone rang, it was that guy again and they made arrangements for a second message to be shown around the village later that evening. The bloke had agreed to pay double because it was late and a minute later an envelope dropped through the letterbox containing the right amount of money. After putting the cash in the biscuit tin, along with the money from the afternoon round, he set to repainting the sign. "Load of nonsense," he said out loud when he had finished the sign.

 

 

Peri looked at the well, it was not as impressive as the advertisement. She tried to hide her disappointment from the Doctor who was insisting she threw a coin into it and make a wish. "Oh, very well." She took the coin and threw it into the well. "I wish the Doctor had better taste in clothes." She ginned at her now sour-faced friend. "Cheer up Doctor, it's only a bit of fun. Wishes don't come true."

The Doctor shook his head. "Are clothes the only things you think about? What is on the outside does not compare to the beauty and splendour that nestles beneath."

"I'm just a shallow kind of lady," Peri laughed. "Wouldn't it be funny though if you started wearing Armani suits though?"

"Come on." The Doctor took hold of Peri's arm. "Let's get back to the village before it gets dark."

 

 

The chanting was fun, that part was easy, but getting some of the ingredients ready had been a lot harder and they had to substitute a few items. Out went the blood of a newt and in came some strawberry milkshake. The goat's eyes were replaced with goats milk cheese and the tails of three fish became half a tin of baked beans because that was the closest thing they could think of. How they had managed to try a love spell between Tanya and Michelle's kid brother remained a mystery however, it had just sort of developed as they went along.

Tanya began the last chant. "La ia Cthulhu ph'nglui."

"Mglui'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh uigah-nagl fhtagn ia ia." Michelle said the second line.

Juliet managed the third line. "Hastur cf'ayak 'vulglram vugtlagn, vulgtmm."

"Ia Hastur, Dominum mostram Cthulhu, ya-R'lyeh." Tanya tried not to laugh.

"Shub-niggurath, magna mater n'gai n'gah g'haa." Michelle did laugh.

"Ygnanth, ygnanth. Yogge-Sothoth. Amen." Juliet finished the chant and joined the others in laughing. Then every light in the house went out and they all screamed.

 

 

Verne looked up, he thought he heard the sound of screaming but it was probably the wind. He had done the new round and was on his way back to his house for a mug of tea and a kipper. Suddenly he saw a shape, an inky outline, above him and it moved. He turned to run but something swatted him to the ground as if he was a fly. All the air was knocked out of his lungs and he struggled to breathe. That was when it tore his rib cage open via his spine. The last thing he thought of as his oxygen starved brain turned fuzzy was that far worse was coming, the Wicker Man was back.

 

 

Spending a night tucked up in bed with a local book the Doctor insisted that she read was not Peri's idea of an early night in. However when compared with another night of spending the night alone with only a stuffed frog and a bar of chocolate for company it wasn't so bad. At least she could lose herself in the text for a couple of hours, before the Wicker Man came and slaughtered everyone; it was probably for the best.

"What is this wicker basket nonsense?" she asked herself, forgetting what she had been thinking.

There was a knock at the door. "Can I come in?" The Doctor popped his head in the door. "I just thought I'd say goodnight."

"Come in Doctor," Peri snapped. "I'm not getting undressed."

"Oh." The Doctor waved his hand dismissively. "Looking forward to getting your free pair of shoes tomorrow?"

Peri nodded. "What time do you think we should get there?"

"Oh anytime," the Doctor smiled. "The world will have ended by then."

 

 

Having pulled her still warm clothes back on Peri met the Doctor downstairs in the lounge room of the hotel bar. It was one of those ye olde affairs with lots of wood panelling and weird brass things dotted about all over the place and a big open hearth fire roaring away nicely, warming the whole room up. "The world's about to end? You mean I'm going to die before I get to buy some new shoes?"

"Keep your voice down Peri," the Doctor urged. "People may hear you!"

"You don't think they have a right to know that any second now they could die?" Peri couldn't believe how callous the Doctor was. "They should be with their loved ones surely?"

"I thought it best not to panic anyone at this stage." The Doctor scratched the back of his neck. "There may be a chance of stopping it and then how silly would we look? Oh, you can go back to bed if you want, I never sleep anyway."

"Go back to sleep, knowing that the world could end? I'm staying up and you're buying the coffee." Peri glanced at the book she had brought downstairs. "This should keep me riveted until my demise. Pretty soon I'll be an ex-Peri." She laughed as she remembered the dead parrot sketch from Monty Python.

"What?" the Doctor inquired as he returned with a large cup of coffee for Peri and a smaller cup of tea for himself.

"Oh nothing," Peri said, brushing over her feeble attempts at comedy. "You know, this is the first time I think we haven't argued since, well you became you."

"I was wondering when you would notice," the Doctor observed as he sipped his tea. "They say that communication is the heart of civilisation."

"So how's the world going to end?" Peri asked, resigned to an unspecific grisly fate in the near future.

"Oh it gets blown up in the 59th segment of time. That's a long way from now."

"I thought you said it was going to end tonight." Peri was confused and she felt another migraine coming on. It was like that time she asked the Doctor to explain how the TARDIS worked and she had lost three pints of blood thanks to a nose bleed.

"I'm not entirely certain," the Doctor confessed. "Call it Time Lord intuition if you like, I just have an overwhelming sense of destruction. The last time I had this Atlantis was destroyed thanks, in part, to the Master."

"Oh." Peri didn't know what to say. Sure there wasn't enough evidence here to hang a nail in smog but the Doctor had the bad habit of being right in times such as this. "Can't we get everyone into the TARDIS and leave?"

The Doctor smiled, bitter sweetly. "No, I'm afraid not. All we can do is what we do best, improvise and hope that somehow we manage to stay alive at the end of it all."

"You might regenerate." Peri tried to look on the bright side of things. "I might not be killed in a multitude of hideous ways. I might still be able to shop for shoes. That's something to stay positive about, right?"

 

 

The lights finally came back on. Tanya saw that Juliet looked asleep so she tried to wake her up but a lumpy grey substance started to trickle out of her nose and mouth. It was her mushed up brain.

Michelle looked at Tanya and grinned. "Another pretty thing to die for." She laughed as she drove the heel of her shoe into her best friend's head repeatedly, just as she had done to Juliet's head. "Two pretty things all dead now. One more to go." She put her shoe back on; she had a job to finish. She pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders as the cold wind drove at her. Killing those two stuck up bitches had been such fun and now she wanted more, so much more. It was almost addictive. Her thoughts of killing her classmates distracted her from the dark shadowy figure that was following her. She didn't feel the life force being crushed out of her petite body until her crushed bones pulped her internal organs. She was dead before she hit the ground.

 

 

Jack Grainger lay exhausted and sweating next to his equally dishevelled wife. "After all these years I still love you Eliza Grainger." He waited for his wife to respond and when she didn't he rolled over to look at her. He yelled in shock when he saw that her head had been torn from her shoulders but it was too late as his head joined hers on the floor by the window. Then he saw it feed on their corpses but he couldn't feel anything except the tingling in the toes he no longer had.

 

 

Peri finished her third cup of coffee and decided to relieve the pressure inside her bladder. When she returned from the restroom she found the Doctor, sans coat, avidly reading her book. "Hey, I was reading that. I suppose I may as well get the next round in?"

"Yes, fine," the Doctor agreed. "There's some money in my jacket pocket."

Peri picked up the awful coat and was tempted to throw in on the nearby log fire but couldn't. It was her friends property not hers and knowing her luck it wouldn't burn anyway. She took the cash and went over to the bar.

"We're closing soon love," the waitress, Alison Poole, informed the customer. "You and your boyfriend making sure you won't be sleeping much tonight?" She winked at the young American girl as she passed her the drinks.

Peri was in no mood to correct the woman so she just smiled with as much sarcasm as she could muster. The Wicker Man would see to her and it would be messy.

"This is a fascinating book Peri." The Doctor handed it back to his companion and took the cup of tea from her. "It does confirm my worst fears though."

"Doctor, I may be going crazy but I've been having these odd thoughts all day. Something about a Wicker Man killing people."

The Doctor almost choked on his tea. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he shouted. "Something as important as that and you didn't tell me?"

Alison looked at the odd couple and decided that the American girl must be pregnant and the fat bloke wasn't happy to hear about it.

"I'm sorry," Peri whimpered, "I just thought I was going crazy or something. I didn't want to trouble you with it."

"Trouble me?" the Doctor fumed before calming down. "No, how were you to know? It's not as if you would have any idea how important it is."

 

 

Henry Preston put the spoonful of medicine in his wife's mouth. The poor girl was having a relapse. All night she was cold and complaining about her chest. He hugged her tightly before casually impaling her through the eyes with two cocktail sticks. She convulsed in his loving embrace before she died. Then he dragged her body outside to join those of his children. He lay down beside them and looked up at the darkness before it smashed his face flat with its fist.

 

 

Peri looked at the Doctor and thought how neat it would be to make him regenerate. She didn't like this one much anyway so she'd be doing him a favour in the long run. Carefully she hefted a large metal spoon and swung it at his head but he ducked and grabbed the spoon.

"Peri, what are you doing?" he demanded, taking a hold of her wrist. "You could hurt yourself with that."

"I want another you," Peri explained calmly and rationally. "You'll thank me for it once you've regenerated. Now let go of my wrist so I can kill you."

"I think not." The Doctor disarmed his companion by applying pressure to her wrist joints. "I quite like this me as it happens."

"Do you want me to call the police?" Alison asked.

"I think we're fine," the Doctor stated.

"I was talking to her, you pig." Alison smiled at Peri. "Drop this guy and get yourself someone better. The baby needs a full time father."

"What are you talking about?" the Doctor demanded. "My friend Peri's just tried to kill me and you think she's pregnant?"

"You need to die Doctor." It was so clear to Peri now, the Wicker Man made it clear for her. All she had to do was kill him and then it would feed on their bodies. That was her purpose in life. "Please don't struggle Doctor."

"You see; she's not rational. Get me some rope so that we can tie her hands together." He looked at the immobile waitress. "Well, what are you still standing here for? Rope, get it now!"

 

 

To the locals he was Albert Rutherford, a lonely widower bringing up a teenage daughter. However she was no relation of his and neither of them were human. She had been a slave when he bought her two months ago. Her spirit had been broken then and all he had to do was rebuild it in his image, she became his daughter in more ways than mere flesh and blood.

Harriet did not like the pain of the surgery to make her appear human but like a dutiful daughter she bore the pain for her father. She wanted to make him proud of her. "Daddy, when can we leave this place? I hate it here, it's so dull and all the boys only like me for my body and not the mind you gave me."

"My poor dear Harriet; tonight sees all my patient planning come to a head. Then we can visit all those worlds I told you about." Albert Rutherford stoked his daughter's cheek and smiled paternally at her. "Now why don't you go outside and play with your new toy?"

 

 

Peri tried to make the Doctor understand how vital it was for her to kill him. If only she could make him understand. "Please Doctor, there's not much time left. I have to kill you; it's the only way we can be together when the end comes. Untie my hands and I promise you it will be painless." Why didn't he understand? She felt like such a bad friend for not helping him to die.

The Doctor stared into his young friend's eyes. "Listen to my voice Peri. Look into my eyes. Be in my eyes. You are in my eyes." When she quickly fell into a hypnotic trance his fears were confirmed. She had been hypnotised very recently and by an expert. "Listen to me Peri. You do not need to kill me now. You no longer have to kill me. Be in my eyes Peri. You don't want to kill me anymore. When I say wake up you will remember nothing save a need to drink a nice cup of tea to calm your nerves. Wake up."

Peri blinked. Her hands were tied behind her back and for some reason she wanted a cup of tea. "What happened to my hands?" Peri demanded. "What's going on and where's my cup of tea?"

The Doctor quickly got a cup of tea from the startled waitress. "Here you are Peri, here I'll hold the cup."

 

 

Harriet wandered down into the village proper, taking her toy with her. They would really suffer she decided and one of her father's playthings was nearby, killing her partner like all the others had done; some without realising it. Her father had said they were simply fulfilling local superstitions but she knew that the arrival of the strange man and woman had disturbed him and she was determined to make Daddy happy. Like a faithful puppy it followed her, its heavy feet shook the ground.

 

 

Peri felt her wrists and saw the indentations from the ropes. "Why did you try to tie me up?" she demanded. "I don't even remember being tied up."

"You had a seizure," the Doctor lied. "I was concerned you might hurt yourself so I used a few knots I learned from my old friend Baden-Powell."

"I was a Guide once, when I was younger," Peri admitted. "All we ever did was sewing and talk about boys though. Some of the older girls used to put make up on in the rest rooms though and that's when Mom first booked me into therapy."

The Doctor nodded. "Well I think we should go and save the world now, don't you think?" His words were interrupted when a large wooden fist smashed through the wall and splattered Alison Poole on the opposite wall along with large chucks of brick.

Peri screamed; it was the only sensible thing she could think of doing before mind-numbing terror gripped her soul.

"Missed." Harriet cursed. "Stay still and I'll try again." She concentrated and the fist came smashing through the hole again, again missing the Doctor and Peri. "Now I know why Daddy gets so upset with you."

In the madness of shock and fear a calmness filled Peri's mind and she suddenly saw things clearly again. The girl outside had tried to kill her. Casually she picked up the nearest thing to hand and decided to break her nose with it. "This won't hurt a lot." Her words were interrupted when the Doctor grabbed the weapon from her.

"No Peri. Killing is not our way." The Doctor threw the metal object down on the tiled floor. Then he turned to see the massive figure of a wooden creature. "The Wicker Man I presume? I take it you're behind putting those thoughts into my young friends head?"

Harriet laughed. "Of course not silly, that was Daddy. He's such a nice, loving man and you have done so many bad things to him in the past. That's why you have to die."

"Young lady I really don't know what you're talking about," the Doctor stated.

"Why Doctor, she's talking about me." Albert Rutherford smiled at the shocked look on the Doctors face.

"The Master? I thought you'd left Earth for good thanks to my dabbling with the Rani's TARDIS."

The Master laughed as he walked over to his daughter and put his arm around her shoulders. "You don't get rid of me that easily Doctor. Why don't you say hello to my daughter? Say hello to the Doctor, Harriet."

"Hello." Harriet smiled at the Doctor. "Can we kill him now Daddy?"

The Master grinned at his nemesis. "She's quite a chip off the old block, as your precious humans say." He looked down into her eyes. "We can kill him soon enough my dear, we can kill all of them and then I'll buy you the pony that you've always wanted."

Harriet gasped with joy. "I love you Daddy." She hugged her father tightly.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Peri commented to the Doctor.

"Yes," the Doctor agreed. "You're not the only one upset by this ... this performance."

"You can kill them now my dear." The Master patted Harriet on the shoulder. "Just make them suffer for all the bad things they've done to me in the past."

Harriet felt so happy as she commanded her toy to smash the girl flat. Then she saw the burning branch in the man's hand and she diverted the robot to kill him instead. However he was too fast and he put the fiery log on the wooden foot. The flames caught quickly and her precious plaything was engulfed in flames. "No!" she shrieked as the robot slipped out of her control and started to flail its arms about wildly.

"Get back Peri." The Doctor pulled her back into the public house where it was safer from the burning wooden robot's mad dance.

"Daddy, don't leave me," Harriet called to the retreating figure of her beloved parent. Then a hand took hold of hers and she was dragged out of the path of the robot's body when it fell forward where she had been standing. She looked up to see the hated figure of the Doctor. "Let go of me." She swore. "Get your hands off me right now."

"Listen to me Harriet," the Doctor instructed. "Look into my eyes. Be in my eyes..."

 

 

"So you wiped her memory of her time with the Master?" Peri asked the Doctor. "She can't remember all the evil things she did?"

"The Master had made her that way Peri. She was just another victim of his villainy as much as the villagers she killed. It's better for her that she doesn't remember. There are some thing's too vile that are best off forgotten. This is one of them. Technically she's a ward of the courts now, I think we can leave it to them to find a new home with people who will care for her and love her."

"What about the Master? Will he ever be brought to account for his evil?" Peri put the bags of shoes down inside the console room. "I have this feeling that it's not the last we'll see of him. Now, however, I'm going to put my new shoes in my room and get some sleep. I'm just glad the police didn't arrest us on general principles."

The Doctor closed the TARDIS doors and set the dematerialisation circuit away. Slowly the time rotor began to rise and fall. "Yes, well when we showed them the remains of the robot and told them to ring my friends at UNIT they suddenly seemed very compliant. I must pop by to see Alistair one of these days. I remember the time he and I stopped the Master from using Axos to destroy the Earth."

"Hey, I just remembered something," Peri interrupted the Doctor's story. "Last night was Halloween."

"So?" the Doctor asked, upset that she had interrupted him again.

"We could have gone trick or treating." She smiled sweetly at the Doctor before heading to her room with the carrier bags full of shoes.

 

The Wicker Man was adapted into a half hour amataur video production ('The Traveller: Curse of the Del Garria') in 2003 before being released on DVD in 2004.  Please go here for more details...

original fan fiction by kg redhead