step 1
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: get right - j. lo - sorta fitting...
Topic: me!
so i've decided i need to make a change in my life. i think part of the change is that i need some sort of a routine. ok.. so step #1 is to go to the gym REGULARLY! no more of this sporadic shit... and yes, by sporadic i mean that i haven't been in like 2 months... all i want to do right now is have a nap, but i'm forcing myself to go to the gym... and i thought i should put it in writing so that now, i really HAVE to go. so i'm loading my mp3 player with high energy songs and then off to the gym i go...
hopefully my mood will change from continuous laziness to being somewhat energetic!

a little sad... a little excited....
Mood:  not sure
-sad-
i don't know what's wrong with me. i just haven't felt like myself lately. things are getting to me that normally wouldn't bother me. i'm sad, irritable...does this mean i'm depressed? i don't think i'm depressed... things just need to change. i need to make a huge change in my life. i know i have the best family in the world, and that they love me unconditionally, and the most amazing friends too, i've been very lucky there... but i still feel like there is something missing. and it sure doesn't help that i'm feeling incredibly used by certain people of the male persuasion...
the first hint something was wrong. the littlest things about my best friends have been driving me up the wall. i've been incredibly irritated and didn't even want to see one or two of them because of it. perhaps my bitch roomate has a lot to do with my irritibleness though...
i don't trust anymore.
i cried. yep, i cried last night. i don't cry. well at least i haven't in a very long time. so, this means i've been hurt, recently. yep, i think i know how that happened. i continually set myself up to be hurt by boys. stupid boys. or maybe, stupid me...
i think i need to just get it all out. cry. scream. then laugh. it will help. this helps too. but not as much as the screaming and crying and laughing will.
i know it's no one's fault but my own. i am the one that needs to change. and i will, for the better of course. need to make a big change in myself. feel better about myself. find myself.

-exciting-
so i'm very seriously considering going to australia next year. either for teacher's college or for my mba. probably mba because i think it's too late to apply for teacher's college. (ok, so finding an aussie cowboy would be extremely exciting as well). i've always wanted to go to australia, so hell, why not now. that'd be a change, that's for sure. i'd miss my family and friends more than words can describe, but i think it'd be a great opportunity, and now is the time to do it. nothing to hold me back here. koala's (or as they call them down there, dropbears), kangaroos and aussie cowboys, yep, i could handle that.

Home Sweet Home
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: You'll Think of Me - Keith Urban
i'm sitting here listening to keith urban. which makes me super excited to go see him in april with the girls...yeah! but it also makes me wonder, does 'he' think of me? i don't know why, but lately, i've been thinking of him. i miss him... it's been a very long time since i've seen him or talked to him...almost a year... why all of a sudden have i been thinking of him? i have no idea...

anyways, i'm at home hanging out with the family this weekend...which is always good times! found out that my brother almost killed himself on his snowmobile the other day, tried to decapitate himself with a fence... not good. we're having early easter dinner at my grandparent's house thisafternoon. reason for the earliness: they are going to the states to gamble and won't be around over easter. i find it somewhat humorous that they are going gambling. isn't this the time of year that you are supposed to give up your bad habbits/vices? my grandma is so addicted...she's so cute...maybe that's where i get it from? haha.. j/k...cuz i'm clearly not addicted.
oh i love being home. i miss my family when i'm not here. and i never laugh as much as i do here. even though they are a bunch of freaks... hehe... i have to be careful cuz mom insisted on knowing my website address so she'll probably be reading this now... hehe... yep... freaks... all of them... except for me, obviously...

so... i left my roomate a nice little note on the refridgerator saying that if she doesn't do something about the damn bowl with jello in it (that has been on the counter for 3 months and is now attracting flies) by wednesday that i'm throwing it in the trash. she probably won't even notice or care. perhaps i should put it in her bed instead. yes, i think that is a much better idea...

about my sadness and frustration with the fact that the OC and CSI were both repeats on thursday. ugh! summer and seth are sooooo getting back together and that just makes me so unbelievably happy! i love seth! i have a feeling something might happen with ryan and marissa again too, which would also make me happy. but i think we all know that it's soon going to be time for theresa to come back with the baby...blah...that will just ruin everything!

so i think i might be going through nick withdrawal. it's true, i miss him. about how susan and i hung out with him every day last week. yes, every day. we did not go a day without seeing him. kinda sad...haha.. but sooo fun. i think we need to go on a trip to port very soon, we haven't been there in a while. oh, this also reminds me... POKER NIGHT SUNDAY @7pm.

so i think someone needs to comment on one of my posts, cuz i want to know if it works! maybe i should ask a question that you will feel obliged to answer... ok, drawing a blank here.
alright, if you could be any kitchen appliance, what would you be and why?....

the weekend
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: boondock saints on tv
so apparently i have been falling behind on my blogging... i would apologize, but i really don't think there is a need for that.
so, had a pretty good weekend last weekend. busy from what i remember, but i actually don't remember much. no idea what i did friday night, i'm sure if i thought about it hard enough that i would remember, but i just don't have the time or energy to do that. besides, boondock saints is on tv and it sort of has my attention at the moment. saturday night was the gayla... yes, i said gayla. it was the semi-formal dance supporting brock pride. since susan is the president of brock pride, nick, chrissy and i decided to escort her to the dinner/dance. it was a fun night, that's for sure... even though there were hardly any people there. felt extremely overdressed however (among quite a few butchy lesbians, i'm allowed to say that as long as i don't mean it in a mean way right?), but didn't mind being one of the most girlie one's there. here's a picture for your veiwing pleasure:

we had fun, and that's all i have to say about that.

oh, we've also started having poker nights. i'd totally obsessed with playing texas holdem poker. it's kind of ridiculous, but fun none-the-less. we had our first poker night on sunday night. it was pretty fun, but omigod! matt showed up at one point and scared the shit right out of me! then at one point we had a laugh session and couldn't stop laughing for a good 5 minutes straight, we just couldn't stop, it was the most i've laughed in a while, and quite the work out! haha.. those were probably the highlights of that night...

i'm so tired right now, i've had a cold since the weekend and it has just left me completely drained. that's probably part of the reason why i haven't posted lately, and why i am having trouble thinking of what i should write now...

i could just bitch about my roomate some more. but it's always the same old stuff i'm bitching about.... the garbage, still in the hallway... the overflowing garbage in the bathroom, well today she decided to knock it over and dump it all over the bathroom floor and just leave it there... the dishes that have been in the sink for 3 months, still there, now attracting flies, considering throwing them on her bed....

ok, well this movie just has my full attention at the moment so i will have to post something more exciting tomorrow.

"Get it on!"
Mood:  silly
Now Playing: MXC
so i'm sitting here watching mxc...for those of you who don't already know, that's most extreme elimination challenge... so funny. this show just makes my day. i love it's randomness. haha, a chinese christine is now on.. she came out exclaiming "I'm wearing red!" clearly, christine. so if you've never seen this show, i recommend watching it. you might pee.

i'm sad because all the girls are currently hanging out at sherri's house, gossipping and movie watching and game playing and naked pillow fighting...and i am stuck here in st. catharines because brock sucks and has a different reading week than everyone else. stupid brock. oh well. last friday at allison's was good times and makes up for it. I hadn't seen eryn in over a year, i'm glad she ended up coming. same with bill and mike, hadn't seen them in years. same goes for pipes. and it's always good times seeing ren, christine and allipato. i miss you guys! it's scary how much we are growing up. instead of going out at 11pm, we are going home at 11pm. and instead of beer we are drinking martinis and eating fondue. but it's so nice to see you guys when we have the chance to get together. my new favourite quote that i found recently is "the most beautiful thing true friends can discover is that they can grow separately without growing apart" - it's so true.

ok, umm, do fridges explode? i'm scared. my fridge is making terrifying noises...

i'm trying to avoid thinking about how much my day tomorrow is going to suck. i have math class at 8am and a math assignment to do before 4pm. there is no hope in hell for me to get that assignment done. especially since i have group meetings all afternoon. stupid group work.

oh...my...god! so it happened again thismorning. i went in the bathroom after her and there was freaking pee on the seat! ewwwww! either she has a penis or... or she's just a nasty skanky bitch...i just don't know. but it's really pissing me off...

so i had a childhood flashbad today when i saw this: Thundercats bloopers If you ever watched thundercats as a kid, you'll love it. it's hilarious.

oh god, mxc's next challenge is sperm wheelers. oh this is a good one. someone just got a "warm blast of orgasmic shamoo goo". and i shall leave you with that...

A little ranting and raving...
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: soap operas on tv...
Topic: The Skank
Not a day goes by that she doesn't piss me off in some way. Today (and it's only 2:30pm) is no exception.
I wake up to an msn message from susan: "be careful when you leave your room, garbage explosion" She wasn't kidding. A massive amount of garbage sits in the hall outside of the bitch's door and along the wall. Well, it sure better not be there long. And she sure better not expect us to take it out for her lazy ass! Especially considering that last week was her week to do garbage, and she was the only one here since it was reading week, AND since she never bothered to do it! She never bothered to clean the bathroom either. Nastiness is the only thing to describe it....
now honestly, (and maybe it's just me), but I don't think it should be necessary to have to invest in rubber boots in order to walk across the bathroom without getting your feet wet. My socks, currently soaked. Fuck. I'm starting to think that they don't believe in towels where she is from. Towels or toilet paper. I mean really, if you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat!! It's just courteous! I am the type of person who doesn't enjoy coming back from reading week to find dried urine on the toilet seat.. I mean, EWWW! And that was not the first time it had happened. Is my frustration evident yet? I also do not enjoy coming back from reading week to her not being home but having left every light in the house on. Sure, burn the house down, we don't mind. We also don't mind that the hydro bill has gone up $15 since she moved in. Her and her damn space heaters. Fuckin eastie.
So she also has this habit of having to pee when either Susan or I are already in the bathroom. Well guess what, wait your damn turn! Last night, Susan was in the bathroom brushing her teeth and the bitch barges in and says she has to pee. So? Wait 30 seconds and Susan will be out. Nope, demands that Susan let her use the washroom. What a bitch. You are not a princess you fucking whore. But Susan calmly walks out and spends the next minute brushing her teeth in my room as we roll our eyes. So.. thismorning I'm in the bathroom minding my own business (luckily I actually shut and lock the door when I am in there, unlike her who likes to pee with the door open, but that's another story).. when I hear her try to open the door. Ok, common sense would tell most of us that when the bathroom door is shut tight and the light is on that there is someone in there already. Nope, still she attempts to open the door. Since I heard this, I decided that I would take my sweet ass time in the bathroom and chose to have a shower. Just as I'm getting into the shower she begins pounding on the door. And what do I do? Completely ignore her. That's right, hard core bitch that i am. So when I left the bathroom about 20 minutes later I expected her to charge straight for it. Strangely, this didn't happen. It was a good half hour after that until she actually went back in there. Clearly it was not the emergency she made it seem to be, unless of course she peed somewhere else around the house, which I would not put past her...nasty bitch.
Ok, that is enough bitching from me today. I'm sure there will be more to come in the very near future. But GH is on and I must go.

"You can't get off if you don't get on"
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: Complicated - Carolyn Dawn Johnson
title - mood - song... completely random, I know. well, i just watched wimbledon. such a cute movie! i really enjoyed it. that puts me in the amorous mood...amorous and completely jealous. oh i want to be in love. i definitely think that my prince charming is lost out there somewhere with allipato's. they will find us someday though, right? sometimes i fear that he's found me already, or i've found him, or whatever, but i'm just too afraid to admit it and put it all out there, and that one day he'll just be gone. so i end up losing him to the fear of losing him. it's such a vicious cycle. it's so complicated! which brings me to the song. it's totally where i am right now. "it's such a contradiction, do i lie or tell the truth, is it fact or fiction the way i feel for you?... should i say it? should i tell you how i feel? oh i want you to know, but then again i don't, it's so complicated" *sigh*
ok, on to the title then. kirsten dunst was in wimbledon which obviously reminded me of her infamous quote in spiderman 2 "we never got on, you can't get off if you don't get on!".. such a great line!

so i said earlier that i was going to the casino...well i'm starting to wonder if i should start going to gamblers anonymous. i got $5 free from the casino which is always nice, so i start playing a quarter machine. fine. it starts winning a bunch of times...woohoo... i go from $5 to $40 in about 5 minutes. so, you'd think i'd stop. nope. i then go from $40 to $0 in less than 5 minutes. shit. should have cashed out when i was at $40. yeah, no shit sherlock. fuckin winky!
other than that i pretty much spent the day playing around with my website. i'm trying to get things updated and in order, but the old stuff is just funny so i'm thinking i'm going to leave it.

alright... enough for tonight... time to go ponder philosophical-like...

my second first post...
Mood:  lazy
so here i am...entering the world of blogging once again. i started a blog the other day here, but i just didn't like it. and really, i will do anything to procrastinate and avoid class (not like i'm supposed to be in class currently or anything...ladida). perhaps i will even keep both blogs going, and randomly post to each, just to keep you kids on your toes
i'm really not feeling all that philosophical today, so this post is really not going to be all deep and shit. and quite frankly my posts will never possess the in-depthness that allipato's do, so i suggest reading hers if you want to think. clearly thinking just takes far too much effort for this girl...haha
i think i'm going to update my 'website' today too...i'll probably just end up deleting a bunch of stuff...because it's really kind of silly. it's very ridiculous, which is rather enjoyable... hmm...so maybe i won't. perhaps i shall leave all the ridiculousness so that when we are in need of it, it will be here for us.
wow, i really have nothing to say. last night my head was full of ideas for clever posts...and now.. nothing!
perhaps i shall post again later tonight after i come back from the casino... yes, i'm going to the casino thisafternoon...but i haven't been in a very long time, and they give me a free $5... so it's ok for me to gamble that :)
i'm sure i'll think of something insightful later to write...