STORY JOKES

1

A traveling salesman is touring an area in deep rural Wales, and stays the night at a farmhouse. After a fine meal with the farmer, the salesman turns to his host and asks about renting some "companionship " for the evening.

 "Well" mulls the farmer, "I'm afraid there aren't many women around here like that. But there's always Arthur..."

"Oh says the salesman, intrigued. "How much does he charge?"

"It'll cost you £10, " comes the reply.

The salesman thinks about this. "Seems a bit expensive," he says.

"Well," says the farmer, "The local magistrate takes out £4 because he doesn't approve of that sort of thing."

"So that's £4 for him and £6 for Arthur?" asks the salesman.

The farmer shakes his head. "No, the local constable also takes £4 because he doesn't approve of that sort of thing."

"Christ," says the salesman. "So the magistrate gets £4, the constable gets £4 - that only leaves £2 for Arthur..."

"No we have to pay Gareth and Dai To hold him down ," says the farmer. "You see, Arthur doesn't approve of that sort of thing either."

 

2

A lonely horny housewife is at the supermarket doing her weekly shopping when a black guy catches her eye. She sees him again at the checkout, and decides to invite him back to her place. He replies: “only for a chocolate biscuit!” So the woman goes and buys a pack of chocolate biscuits and gives him one. He agrees to come back with her, so they go to her house. As they sit on the sofa, she leans over and whispers to him: “my husband is at work. Would u like to come upstairs?” Again he replies: “only for a chocolate biscuit!” The woman thinks this is a bit weird but gives him another biscuit and leads him upstairs. They walk into the bedroom and she lies on the bed. “My husband won’t be home for a few hours. Would you like to have sex with me?” Once more the guy replies: “only for a chocolate biscuit!” So the woman sighs, then runs downstairs to get the biscuits.

When he has finished his biscuit they get down to it, and after 2 hours they hear the front door opening. “Oh my god!” shouts the woman “That’s my husband! Quick hide in the cupboard!” So the guy hides in the cupboard and the woman falls back on the bed in exhaustion. Her husband walks in the bedroom to see his wife lying naked on the bed, and he immediately knows what’s been going on. “I can’t believe this!” he shouts “you’ve been having sex with other men haven’t you!?” She is too knackered to deny it, so simply replies: “yeah and so what if I have?”

“You little bitch!” her husband shouts “I’m gonna punish you for this!” So he pins her to the bed and starts pulling out her pubes one by one. As he gets to the last one, she is moaning in pain, but he can’t pull the last one out, so after struggling and tugging he screams in frustration: “COME OUT COME OUT YOU LITTLE BLACK BASTARD!!!!” and he hears a  voice from the bedroom cupboard, saying: “only for a chocolate biscuit!”

 

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