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| Going public is never an easy thing. It's even harder when you're a teenager, believe me. |
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| The trick is, don't back down. Don't let people talk you into doubting yourself. |
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| If you do those things, people will think that you're not as dedicated as you claim to be, and they'll never take you seriously. |
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| The second thing to remember is, don't use the dreaded "W" word. No, not WICCA! WITCH! When telling your parents about your faith, never use the word "Witch". Sitting in front of the TV, ready to veg out, and having your daughter/son look at you and say, "By the way, mum/dad, I'm a Witch." is not every parents idea of fun. In fact, it's not ones idea of fun. |
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| My mum is really supportive of what I do. At least, she tries to be, and she hasn't tried to stop me practising Wicca. I think this is because of the way I told her. |
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| Mum's peeling the potatoes, I'm setting the table. My brother and sister are both conveniently out of earshot and nowhere to be seen. My Charmed video is playing on the TV in the next room; the kitchen door open and the volume on high so that the episode rings through the house. |
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| Me: So, which is your favourite Halliwell? (Charmed is something that has grown on mum since I started watching it.) |
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| Mum: Piper. She's always helping people. A really nice girl. |
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| Me: I was saying the same thing to Stace at school today. How maybe Wiccans aren't as bad as some people think... |
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| Mum: Wiccans? (see - jackpot! She hadn't heard this term before, so she was instantly interested.) |
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| Me: Yeah. Wiccans, as in Wicca. It's a religion. |
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| Me: Not many people have. I've been doing some reading at school (always say reading - never mention the internet because some parents don't really see it as a serious place to learn about religion!). It's a nature-based religion - it's believers (never followers - some people think followers = cult) hold everything about nature, people and animals as sacred. They worship God as two parts - masculine and feminine - and both parts are equal. And they help people too. Just like the Halliwell's. |
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| Mum: With spells and stuff? (ooops - alarm bells!) |
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| Me: Kinda. More like with prayer, really. They pray a lot and sometimes cast spells to prompt the result they want. |
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| Mum: Magic? Like pulling rabbits out of hats, huh? |
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| Me: Hardly. Protection and healing... stuff like that. |
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| Me: It's not all about magick. It's really rewarding as a religion. It was classified a legitimate religion in 1985, you know. And Britain dropped it's Anti-Witchcraft laws a long time ago. I know lots of Wiccans. They're really nice people and they never hurt a soul. |
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| Mum: That's nice, dear. (When a parent says this, they're losing interest. So leave it. Don't say any more, because chances are, they won't be listening so there's no point.) |
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| After that, I spoke to my mum a few times about Wicca. I didn't say that I was practising it, and I didn't mention the word "Witch", either. When she came round to the idea that it was a valid religion and there was nothing wrong with it, I mentioned that I had been semi-practising for a little while, but that I would like her permission before I continued. Parents like that. If you ask for their permission, it shows that you do care what they think, and the images of you joining a cult fly out the window on those imaginary broomsticks we hear so much about! She looked me in the eye and told me to make sure I was happy. And that was it. Now, she makes sure I can be alone when I'm working magick and she respects that it's my choice. Even if she does wish that I'd be more "normal". |
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| I know it won't be that easy for everyone. It's not really as easy as it sounds for me. The most important thing is to remember that there is always compromise. If your parents object, just don't talk about it in front of them. Show them that you do respect them, but that Wicca is important to you too. Leave books about Wicca where your parents will find them. But make sure that they are your books and not the library's, because some parents have a tendency to throw books around the room. Maybe print some stuff off the internet and *accidently* leave it by the microwave in the kitchen. Show your parents that Wicca has made you a better person, so that they have nothing bad to say about you or Wiccan anymore. |
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| Just remember, if Wicca is that important to you, don't give up. Don't ever give up. Because, deep down, your parents want you to be happy. And they will see that Wicca makes you happy and they will come round. You just have to believe. |
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| Of course, it's not only parents that you have to "come out" to! Eventually, you'll want to tell your friends, you workmates, maybe, and possibly even your school (I have!). You have to handle each one differently, because each one will act and respond differently. When telling your friends, just tell them that Wicca is really important to you, and there's nothing wrong with it and you just want them to understand. If they're as lovely as my friends are, that will be it. Simple. My friends actually make a real effort to understand, and two of them have since converted to Wicca themselves. It's all about timing. Don't catch them in a bad mood, and make sure you're smiling when you tell them - a smile is as infectious as Herpes (as my Nan always says!). When telling workmates, be careful. Legally, they can't fire you for being a Wiccan, but be careful not to give them any other reasons to get rid of you, and don't tell them unless you think they will accept it, or if you think it might affect your work! As for your school, that's different altogether. I don't expect any of you actually want to go round shouting it from the highest point of the school, but it might help to tell a teacher than you trust. I put it on my annual SIMMs form so that my religion is listed as Wicca, and I told my form tutor, so that he could be aware of it when mentioning religion in Tutor time. I also told a few of my teachers who I thought I could trust, just in case anything happened that would mean they needed to know - my teachers know most of my beliefs, just in case. |
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| What's most important is that you are happy. Nothing else matters. If anyone turns their back on you after you tell them, they weren't worth having as friends anyway! |
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