Chapter 8- Unwanted

Synopsis/ Buffy is in search of Giles and Xander. Spike is brushed aside. /

May 10, 1998

Buffy and Spike traveled through town.

“I have to find Giles, make sure he’s okay,” declared Buffy.

“Sure, and then we’ll look into my lil’ problem, right?” Spike asked.

Slowing her pace, she said, “Yeah, you did help me with Angel.” She had trouble getting his name out. “And, as much as I don’t want to, I’m starting to believe you.”

“Why’s that, luv?”

“You don’t seem to want to kill me for some reason. And, you disregarded Drusilla just like that. Before you were all ‘Oh woe is me, my girlfriend is a skank.”

A snort came from Spike. He stuck his hands in his leather coat pockets. “I was rather pathetic,” he admitted.

Just then a form jumped out at them. It was a vampire, who was going for the punk-rocker impression.

Buffy sighed. “And I left my stake at home.”

“Let me handle it.” Spike moved forward.

The vampire lunged. Then, suddenly, he stopped. “Hey, you’re a vampire too! Why are you looking to dust me? And isn’t that the slayer? Shouldn’t you be killing her and not me?”

Spike threw a punch. “You talk too much, mate.”

They went at it. The fight didn’t take long. Spike knocked the foe into the cement wall of a building. That disoriented the vampire long enough for Spike to grab hold of his neck and twist. Dust filled the air.

Spike brushed off the vampire remains that landed on him. He grinned over at Buffy. “Well, that was fun,” he stated.

She blinked at him. This was weird. The Spike she knew would have stood back and watched the show. But the one next to her intervened, doing away with the attacker himself. But why?

“You kill your own kind? Any other surprises?” Buffy commented.

“Plenty, luv, but I’m not sure if I wanna tell yet. Maybe when I’m good and ready.”

Typical, he still had to be a smart-ass.

The two began to walk again.

“Slayer, can we stop at the store on our way? I’m all out of smokes,” Spike inquired.

Rolling her eyes, Buffy moved faster.

*+*+*+*

Sunnydale Memorial was as busy as ever. Not unexpected considering all the attacks that run through town.

Buffy headed to Willow’s room. Before going in, she turned to Spike. “You better stay out here,” she advised.

He nodded. “Yeh, Red’s probably not too fond of me right now. Wounldn’t want to work her up when she’s still recovering.”

The slayer gave him an odd look before leaving him.

Willow was sitting up in bed, holding Oz’s hand. Her boyfriend was scooted as close as possible. Their heads shot up as Buffy entered.

“Buffy, you’re back!” Willow’s face brightened. “And the world didn’t end!”

Oz brushed a strand of hair out of Willow’s eyes. Afterward, he gave Buffy a small smile.

“Did the spell work?” the red-head questioned.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, tonelessly.

A worried expression crossed Willow’s features. “Why aren’t you happy-Buffy?”

That was when Buffy broke down. Oz moved away, giving the girls some room.

Buffy hugged her best-friend, weeping. Things remained that way for a while, until she calmed down. Then she pulled away.

“So, things didn’t go as planned?” Oz asked.

“I killed him,” Buffy choked. “He was. . . the portal was open. And the only way to close it was his blood.”

“Oh, Buffy,” Willow said in concern.

Buffy wiped her eyes and stood up. “Where’s Giles? Is he here? Xander got him out, but he was pretty beat-up.”

Willow shook her head. “I haven’t seen him, or Xander.”

“The only other place they could be is Gile’s house. . . or the library. I have to go check.” Buffy stepped toward the door. “I’ll call you when I find them.” She went out into the hall.

Buffy kept walking, straight past Spike. He hurried up to her.

“They’re not here, I take it?”

Exasperated, she said, “Look, I can’t deal with you right now. Just go away.”

“You know, I don’t get you, you’re so fickle. One minute I’m all right, the next I’m told to piss off,” he told her.

She turned, pain evident on her face. “I’ve just been through something major. I’m strong, but I can’t handle everything at once. Sorry, my friends come before you!”

Spike crossed his arms. “Fine, luv, I understand that. I just. . .”

A long sigh escaped her. She didn’t know why she bothered with him. “What is it, Spike?”

“I . . . I was beginning to feel like I finally belonged somewhere. Not totally, but almost. And then I get thrust away, to this hell, where I’m a piece of garbage to you lot again.”

“How do you want us to treat you, huh? You’ve tried to kill me numerous times. I’m supposed to forget that all of a sudden? I don’t think so!” she shot back.

“I’m not the vampire of 1998. I’ve got a bloody chip stuck in my brain. That’s what Dru was goin on about, I can’t hurt a living thing anymore.”

Buffy laughed.

“It’s true,” he defended.

“I know, that’s what’s so funny.”

He growled. “You make me so mad, slayer.”

A man on a stretcher went by, being pushed by some paramedics. He was hollering in agony. Buffy shifted her eyes away.

“I have to go,” she stated.

“Go. Forget about Spike. I’ll only be stuck here for the rest of my existence.”

“Oh please. Shut up. I’ll contact you when things have calmed down a bit. We’ll research your problem then. Where can I get a hold of you.”

“The cemetery. I’ll be at my crypt, the biggest mausoleum. Do ya know which one I mean?”

“I think. Isn’t it kinda cold and dark there?”

He lifted an eyebrow.

Buffy then said,” Oh yeah, vampire and all, must be great.”

“That it is. Got a lower-level and everything. Well, see ya there. Don’t take too long.”

She didn’t say anything more to him, and just left.

*+*+*+*

Buffy walked in a daze to Gile’s house. She tried to not think. That led to Angel, and Angel led to loss.

Another urge to run-away came over her. It wouldn’t be hard, she was already kicked out of school. There wasn’t much left to lose. Except her friends. And they meant more to her than anything. Spike had been right. What if another enemy came? They couldn’t fight it alone.

She made it to Gile’s. Calling his name, she burst inside.

“Giles, are you here!? Xander!?”

The next thing she knew, Xander came at her. “Buffy?”

“I checked the hospital, but you weren’t there. How’s Giles?”

He pointed to the stairs. “He’s sleeping. He doesn’t want to see a doctor, and I don’t blame him. Besides, all he has is some bruises.”

She nodded. “Can I go see him?”

“Yeah, he’s been sleeping for hours.”

Buffy went up to see her watcher. He seemed to sense her presence because he took that moment to open his eyes.

“Buffy.” he acknowledged.

She sat down on the bed. Reaching out, she took his hand. “How do you feel?”

“Like I just got tortured,” he answered.

She smiled. “Is that all?”

He smiled back. “I’m so glad you’re all right.”

“Well, I’m holdin together anyways.”

*+*+*+*

Spike entered his crypt. It was pitch black, and if he hadn’t been gifted with acute predator vision, he wouldn’t have been able to make anything out.

The place was bare. The only thing there was the sarcophagus. Cobwebs adorned the walls. He had forgotten how it was before being cleaned up.

Groaning, he settled on the sarcophagus. Never knew how much he became accustomed to his bed until then.

Sure hope nibblet’s recording Passions for me, he thought. It sure was boring without the television. Seeing nothing else to do, he went to sleep.

___________________________________________

Chapter 9- Exposed

Synopsis/ Buffy comes clean. Spike gets a very big surprise. Guess who./

February 17, 2002

Everyone was staring, mostly with shock. Except Xander, who seemed to have come to a sudden revelation.

Buffy sat up straight. She surveyed the group. Determination filled her.

“I’m sick of hiding. I’m tired of trying to be right. Yes, I love Spike, I can admit it now. I’m not proud of it, I don’t want to, but I do,” she told them.

“Have you lost your mind?” Xander burst out.

Frustration built up. “Maybe I have. All I know is I feel the most complete when I’m with him. Ever since I’ve been back. . . I feel lost. But now around him, he understands me.”

Willow, who was sitting next to Bufy, touched her arm. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I was scared, Will, and . . . ashamed. I mean, Spike’s an evil vampire.”

Willow gave Buffy a hug. She knew what the slayer was going through. She had felt the same way about her relationship with Tara. “You can’t help who you fall for, I should know.” The ex-witch peered up at Xander, urging him to be supportive.

A sigh came from Xander. “I don’t like this. I don’t like Spike, and I’m not going to pretend I do. But I won’t preach to you about it being insane. You already know that. And as much as I hate to say it, Spike will never leave you. So, if you want to be with him, I won’t stand in your way. But don’t expect me to watch you two smooch in public or anything. I’m going to turn my head.”

Buffy slightly smiled. “Thanks, that means a lot to me.”

Spike propped his feet on the table. He leaned back and put his arms behind his head. “This is a touching moment you lot got here, but I sort of want to get back to where I belong, so if you could. . .”

The slayer glared at him. Then she turned to Anya. “Is there a way to fix this time fold? I don’t know how much I can take. I want my Spike back.”

“I don’t know of a way. That doesn’t mean there isn’t one, though,” Anya answered.

Willow gave Buffy a reassuring look. “We’ll research. If there’s a way, we will find it.”

Buffy nodded. She was empty inside. She glanced over at Spike. He was the person she loved. . . yet not. It was so confusing. She hated the way he acted, but she still wanted to get lost in his arms.

The gang gathered books, except Anya who was dealing with costumers. Spike just sat there.

After a couple minutes, he said,” This is bloody boring.”

Buffy raised her head. She grabbed the thickest book she could find and threw it at him. He caught it. “Hey now!” he exclaimed.

“Make yourself useful,” she instructed.

“Can’t I leave?”

“Fine, do what you like. It’s daylight out, and I doubt you’d like to rush around town flaming, though. If you’re a good vampire and wait a couple hours, I’ll drive you to your crypt,” she told him.

Spike dropped the book on the table with great force. He violently flung I open, and began to scan the pages.

*+*+*+*

After a long, tedious time of worthless research, the scoobies decided to quit for the day.

Buffy drove Spike to the cemetery. She had recently received her license after Dawn complained about transportation problems.

“I trust that you will stay put. I can’t have you wandering around eating civilians. Tonight, I’m gonna patrol, so don’t be surprised if I drop by to check up on you.”

“So I’m under surveillance?”

“I don’t trust you. That’s all.”

He nodded and got out of the SUV. He ran to his crypt, managing to not fry.

The darkened sanctuary was refreshing. He examined the place. A smile appeared on his lips at the sight of the television. He was rather impressed wit the furniture and rugs.

His eyes traveled to the ladder leading downward. He recalled being down there with Buffy. The thought made him shiver.

For no reason he caught himself descending to the lower level. What he found there could have started his heart.

There, on his king-sized bed, was Drusilla. She was stretched on her back, beautiful in the nude.

She lifted slightly and said, “Hello, William, I’ve been waiting for you.”

______________________________________

Chapter 10- Destruction

Synopsis/ Drusilla and Spike have a little reunion. Then in 1998, Buffy comes to fetch Spike. /

February 17, 2002

Spike stood there, frozen. “Dru?”

She grinned at him. “Miss Edith whispered for me to come back. She says my Spike has returned. Is it true? Say it’s so.”

He crawled ontop of her bare skin. The cold body beneath him felt so inviting.

“That’s right, baby, the big bad is back. Want me to show you how bad I am?”

“Oh, yes, please,” she chirped.

Spike discarded his clothing in a frenzy. Then he rushed at his sire in an animal passion.

It was as if he had never been caught in a time fold. As if Angelus had never put his hands on his mate. It was like it used to be, just the two of them. This was the way it was supposed to be.

Drusilla arched her back in pleasure. Her long nails dug into his flesh, causing blood to seep out. The pain was intoxicating.

She cried out about seeing the stars as he licked her hardened nipple. He had missed her rantings, even if they were tiresome at times.

He plunged into her hard. She screamed, a shattering explosion of emotion. He moved faster and more rough. Reaching his peak, his game face emerged. Hers followed.

Ripples of ecstatic electricity ran through them. A calm settled straight after.

Spike gazed into the dark depths of her eyes. And he saw nothing. Not hate, hurt, or love. A void of hollowness.

His features shifted back to human form. He slid off her, not sure what came over him.

She looked over at him with concern. “What is wrong with you? Was it not pleasuring?” She snapped her teeth. “I can be more naughty. Would you like Mommy to bite you this time?”

He blinked. “In a minute, pet.”

Something as wrong with him. He had been enjoying himself tremendously while shagging. Afterwards, it was. . .

Drusilla pulled away from him. “It’s her, isn’t it?” she accused.

“What ,“ he asked, confused.

“You’re my Spike, but she still floats around your brain. I can smell her, she’s covered all over you. Why didn’t I see it before?” She retrieved her disheveled dress.

Spike propped himself on one elbow. “What in the bleeding hell are you goin on about!?”

Her expression was filled with grief. “The slayer.”

It took a moment for him to process her words. Then he laughed. “That’s . . . Buffy’s my enemy. We dispise each other. Or, well. . . I do her.”

Drusilla ignored him. She climbed up to ground-level. Spike traveled behind her.

“We can team up again, luv, kill her. Would that make you happy? We can still dance on her grave, you and me,” he pleaded.

“You couldn’t do it. Not back then, and not now. She’s gotten stronger. You wouldn’t go through with it even if you had a chance.”

She sounded sane, right then. He’d never heard her be so reasonable before.

Desperate, he proposed,” We can go somewhere. I’ll take you anywhere you’d like to go.”

Drusilla shook her head. She stepped toward the door. He snatched her arm, keeping her from going.

“You are staying with me, Dru. We belong together.”

She wriggled in his grip. “No, no! The stars call to me, the stars call!”

He held her tighter. Tears stung her eyes. “The stars!” she wailed.

Spike touched her pale cheek. “Come on, baby, we can be a family again.”

She yelled out. Her hand came up, and she scratched his face. “The stars are my family.” She looked up to the ceiling. She swayed. “They dance with me.”

Spike released her. His poor Drusilla.

Gracefully, she danced to the door. Then she was gone.

Rage flared through him. It was too much to bear. He took an empty whiskey bottle and threw it at the wall. Glass shattered into shards.

“I’ll kill you, slayer! I swear I’ll kill you!” he shrieked.

*+*+*+*

May 13, 1998

It had been three days. He was going to explode, being impatient and bored. He had almost gone to confront Buffy the night before, but hen her face popped in his head. Her being so sad as she stabbed his grandsire. She needed to recooperate. A sane, well minded, slayer was his best bet at getting him home.

Just then, Buffy burst in. His head snapped up in her direction.

She scrunched up her nose. “You live here?”

“Yeh, luv, fraid so. It’s right nice in the future. Got furniture and everything. Even have the telly.” He said all this with pride.

“I’m sure you’re eager to get back to it. I didn’t forget about you.”

Spike hopped off the sarcophagus. “So, the scoobies are ready to roll?”

She nodded. “They’re at the library. The gang’s kinda wondering what for.”

“You didn’t tell them?”

She sighed. “I don’t know how. What would I say? ‘Hey, we’re gonna help Spike. Yeah, the vampire who wanted to kill us four days ago. But this one’s from the future.’ ”

“Well, they always did say seeing is believing.”

“Come on, let’s go get this over with.”

They ventured out into the graveyard. He was surprised when she handed him a stake. It brought a smile to his mouth.

“We might meet a few fangy friends,” she explained.

“It has been pretty active out here lately,” he agreed.

She turned in amazement. “You’ve been patrolling? By yourself?”

He shrugged. “What else is there to do? Besides, need to release all that built-up energy somewhere.”

Giving him a peculiar look, she replied,” Uh. . . right.”

The couple went on. Suddenly, a green creature hurdled at Buffy. She was caught off-guard, her stake flying out of her hand.

Spike was about to go help when another one came at him. It had piercing, glowing red eyes. Pale green fins ran down its back. He fought the demon, while Buffy battled her own.

The thing snarled, trying to swipe at Spike. “Don’t think so.”

Spike kicked the demon in the stomach. It stumbled back. Spike reacted by moving to break his neck. He did with not too much trouble.

After killing the monster, Spike spun to see how Buffy was doing. She was busy blocking the demon’s attacks.

Spike’s eyes widened as sharp claws patruded from the demon’s fingers. It was preparing ot strike.

Without thinking, Spike crashed into the demon before it could hurt Buffy. The demon was knocked away from her. It scrambled to its feet again, then charged at Spike. The demon ended up scratching him. Its nails tore through his t-shirt, digging into his chest.

Buffy sneaked up behind the demon. She cracked his neck. She looked over at Spike. He was doubled over.

“It wasn’t that bad, it’ll heal,” she told him, coming closer.

He collapsed to the ground. Surprise, Buffy knelt beside him. He winced in pain.

Tearing his shirt, she examined the wound. “I don’t understand, it’s not deep.”

“Elctra demon. Poisoness,” he rasped. “Even to vampires.”

She gaped. “What? Why would you do that? Why would you pust it away, knowing it would scratch you instead?”

Spike smiled, weakly. He reached up and touched her face. “You haven’t figured it out yet?” He swallowed. “I love you.”

With that, the vampire fell unconscious.

___________________________________________________

Chapter 11- Slipping Away

Synopsis/ The past Spike is on a mission to do away with the slayer. The 1998 Buffy makes a decision on what to do with her poisoned rescuer./

February 17, 2002

Spike found a shotgun in a trunk. He loaded it with some bullets that were accompanied next to it. Now all he had to find was the target.

Pulling his duster on and grabbing the gun, he left the crypt. He headed toward the Summers house. This was going to be a blast. He bet she hadn’t even considered the possibility that he might go after her. No, she was too teary-eyed about missing her pathetic loser vamp.

All his dreams were going to come true. He would bag his third slayer. That’d show Dru. She couldn’t tell him Buffy was covering him if she was gone.

The residence was dark, and he wondered if anyone were even there. He got his answer, however, when Buffy came out. He watched as she shut her door, stuffing a couple stakes in her coat. She went down the steps, surveying the land. To his surprise she didn’t seem to sense him behind the tree. Must be preoccupied, he thought.

Buffy began to walk down the street. Then she stopped. “Dammit,” she mumbled. She turned around, going the other way.

Spike was intrigued. Where was she off to? It was the opposite way to the cemetery. Skulking, he followed her, keeping his distance.

Finally, Buffy reached her destination. He could have broke down laughing. The buturer shop. She was getting blood for someone ready to blow her brains out. Very rich indeed.

Buffy came back carrying a paper bag. She traveled along, Spike behind her, unnoticed.

They ended up at the cemetery. He kept in the shadows as she dusted three vampires. She’d gotten extremely better. Yet, she seemed uninterested, bored even.

After slaying, she set the sack down. She settled down on a tombstone to take a break.

This was his opportunity. Time to do away with the bitch. He raised the gun, taking aim. “This is for ruining my fucking unlife, sweetheart,” he whispered.

That was when he heard her. She had started to cry. He lowered the gun, and stared out at her. She had her face hidden in her hands.

Bloody hell, wanker, just take the weapon and pull the trigger. He tried again. He brought the gun back up.

“Spike!?”

He closed his eyes, cursing.

“Spike, are you out there!?”

Buffy was on her feet. She looked around, searching for his form.

Spike discarded the gun. He took off then to his crypt.

It wasn’t long after he arrived, that Buffy did. She came in, not kicking the door in, but still forceful. He stepped up to him. “Have you been following me?” she demanded.

She wasn’t mad, just wanting to know. Spike cleared his throat. “No, slayer, I’ve been sittin here watchin the telly.” He pointed to the program displayed on the television.

Buffy had an unconvinced expression on her face. Deciding not to pressure him further, she let it go. She held up the bag. “I brought you dinner,” she informed.

“Very kind of you. Now leave,” he instructed.

Not expecting that, she stuttered,” What?”

“I said, leave!” he shouted.

Buffy put the blood on the sarcophagus. “Oh. . . kay,” she said. She gave him a final look before going out.

Spike punched the wall in anger. What was wrong with him?

All right, he told himself, you couldn’t do it tonight. That doesn’t mean you won’t. He would kill her, he just needed time to prepare.

May 13, 1998

Buffy gawked down at Spike, a man she didn’t know. She had known a ruthless monster, not the person before her. Not someone who would die for her.

The way he had looked at her when whispering of love. Could it be? But he was a vampire, he had no soul. Only a chip. Would that cause him to feel compassion?

Her eyes stung. “I’m going to save you,” she murmured. It was suddenly very important that she did.

Buffy hoisted him up into her arms. Thank God for slayer strength. She noticed he was cold, not corpse cold, freezing. That couldn’t be good.

Hurrying as fast as possible, she carried him to the library. Giles will know what to do, he will be able to help, she thought. Actually it was more like a prayer, than confidence.

She burst inside the doors. The slayerettes turned their heads as she entered.

“Buffy. . .?” Willow gasped when she took in Spike.

Xander stood up. He pointed at the wounded vampire. “Why is he here!?”

Buffy laid Spike on the table. “He’s hurt,” she said.

“Yet again, I ask why he is here,” Xander replied.

The commotion caught Giles’ attention. He came in from his office. His eyes widened at the sight before him. “Dear lord!” he exclaimed.

Buffy raised her head. She was very relieved to see him. “I need a spell or something. He’s been poisoned by a demon,” she told him.

“Buffy, what is going on here? Why would you bring Spike, even if he is dying?” her watcher questioned.

She took in a deep breath, gathering control. “He saved my life.”

Laughter came from Xander. “Good one, Buff. Spike saving your life.”

A glare was sent his way. “He did. This is not the Spike we know.”

“Buffy, I want to believe you,” said Willow. “But, it was only a couple days ago that he was wanting to kill us.”

“Not for him. This Spike came from four years in the future. He’s different, changed. Sure, he can be annoying, but. . .”

Giles took off his glasses. He began to clean the lenses. “I’m not sure this is likely, Buffy. I have never came across any text about time travel.”

“But, but he’s got a chip. He can’t hurt anyone with it,” she put in.

Interest filled Giles. “Have you seen it work?”

Buffy sighed. “No, he just told me.”

“There ya go! He told you that to trick you. He wanted you to trust him so that he could kill you,” Xander said.

The slayer shook her head. “No, why would he push me out of the way then?”

“Uhh. . .”

“And you should have seen him when. . .He wanted to save me, Xander, I know he did.”

“Wait!”

All eyes fixed on the librarian who had spoken. He stepped closer, examining Spike.

“I remember something. When I was at the mansion he came to talk to me. He apologized. He told me he was sorry about letting Drusilla play mind games with me, but Angelus would have killed me otherwise.” He spun toward Buffy. “My God, I thought it strange.”

Buffy smiled. “He was a lot nicer, huh?”

Willow studied the bleach blond vampire. “He looks. . . dead . Really dead.”

“No, he’s not! He’d be dust if he was.” Her head whipped to Xander. “You, go gather as many demonology and magic books as you can. We need to find out about an Elk. . . Elctra demon. And a healing spell, we need one of those.”

Xander went to get them without protest.

A hand touched her shoulder. She shifted her gaze to whoever it was. It was Giles.

“Buffy, do you think this is wise? He is still a vampire. This chip he speaks of, it might stop working at any time,” he told her.

Her eyes met his. “He saved my life, Giles.”

The watcher nodded, understanding.

_________________________________________

Chapter 12- Into Nothing

Synopsis/ The Spike stuck in 2002 battles with his little emotional conflict dealing with the slayer. Meanwhile, in 1998 Buffy takes charge. /

February 18, 2002

Spike stood outside the Summers’ home. He leaned against the tree in their front yard, smoking a cigarette. His eyes kept focused on Buffy’s lit window.

She’d been haunting him all day. He couldn’t even go to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes her face would pop in his head. Giving up, he sat in bed and pondered on how to do away with her. He crossed off burning. The teen might be inside, and he had nothing against her. Beheading would be fun, bug too messy. He could always bite her, except she’d put up a good fight. The gun still seemed the best resort. Quick, clean, and easy. It would be done before she knew what hit her.

Now all he had to do was find the right time to make his move.

Spike was so involved in thought that he didn’t sense someone approach. A hand touched his shoulder. Startled, he dropped his cigarette. He spun around to come face-to-face with Dawn.

She grinned up at him. “Did I sneak up on the big bad?”

“I was distracted,” he defended.

Her grin broadened. She pointed to Buffy’s window. “Did it have to do with a certain slayer?”

A growl escaped Spike. “I’m not stalking your sis.”

She put her hands on her hips. “I never said you were.”

“Now look, I was passing through and. . .”

Dawn held up a hand for him to stop. “I won’t tell,” she promised.

“Thanks ever so, but I wasn’t . . .”

She laughed. “Sure,” she said, sarcastically.

Spike sighed. “I better be off then. Got things to do.”

“Okay,” she agreed. She began to walk away. Then she stopped and turned back. “She likes heroics.”

“Huh?” he asked, confused.

“You know, saving her life and doing the good. Lurking in her yard isn’t going to cut it. Didn’t work last time.”

Spike lifted an eyebrow. “Last time?”

“Oh yeah. You were about to give her candy and everything. Let me give you some advice, chaining up your love is a major turn-off.”

His lips formed a smirk. If she only knew why he was really there, plotting a murder and all.

“I’ll keep that in mind, bit,” he told her.

There was a high pitched squeal. Then a body rammed into him. Arms wrapped around his waist.

His body stiffened. “What the bloody hell are you doing!?”

Dawn pulled away. Her face showed hat she was a little embarrassed. “Sorry, it’s just. . . I missed you. The Spike who calls me nibblet and is obsessed with my sister.”

“I am not obsess with your big sis!” he said forcefully. Why did it sound unconvincing?

Dawn smiled again. “Bye, Spike, I’ll be seeing you later. Maybe you can help me out on my Hamlet report.”

I am not a poofter. I do not like kids, I eat them for breakfast. I kill slayers, not love them. He chanted this as he briskly strolled down the street. Just to prove all this to himself, when a girl came into view he decided to feed. The warm coppery taste of blood would drown his worries and set him straight.

He approached the blond. “Hello, cutie,” he greeted.

The girl looked over. “H-Hi,” she stammered.

He was overcome by her intense green eyes. And her hair, it was like the way Buffy had her hair in 1998. Knock out of it, this is a good thing, he told himself. A good opportunity to pretend it’s her. It’ll set you up for the real thing.

Spike inched toward her. “Are you scared of me?” he whispered.

The girl shook her head.

He grinned. “You should be.”

His features transformed into wrinkles. The blues of his eyes became a hideous gold. The girl screamed and backed away. He grabbed her shoulders, preventing her from fleeing.

Spike let his mind acknowledged this girl as the slayer. He opened his mouth, prepared to strike.

A tiny whimper came from the girl. She struggled in his grip. He looked into those green eyes once more. She was no longer protesting, offering herself willingly to him. Acceptance could be seen in her gaze.

Spike stepped away, letting go. He went out of game face. His head was spinning.

“Cor, you’re just like her,” he muttered.

She stared at him with curiosity.

“Go, get away from me!” he yelled.

She obeyed, running down the alley.

He slid down the brick wall of a building near him, until he was sitting. He leaned his head back.

At that moment he admitted it to himself. Buffy was covering him. Hell, she was inside him too. She was tearing him apart. He couldn’t even be William the Bloody anymore. So who was he?

May 13, 1998

“Elctra demon,” Giles quoted. “A deep green color, with light green scales adorning its back. The creature possesses the ability to extend razor sharp claws when in danger. The enemy is poisoned immediately after the skin is broken. Results include a coma-like state.” He glanced over at the sleeping vampire. Then he went back to his book. “The victim’s mind is pushed into the very depth of subconsciousness. Meanwhile, the venom secreted by the Elctra takes its toll. It diminishes energy a little bit at a time, until none is left. This amount of time varies. In most cases it was around six to seven hours.” Giles stopped to take a breath.

Buffy leaned forward. “Ok, not much time then. Does it mention a cure?” she eagerly inquired.

“Uhh. . . “ He scanned the page. “Actually, yes, it does talk about survivors.”

“Let’s hear them,” the slayer said.

“One was healed, however. . . their mind was not.”

“Huh?” Buffy asked.

Giles pushed his glasses further on his nose. He looked up. “They were stuck in this dream-land that the poison created. A sort of paradise. It describes how the person would be awake, but not in reality. They didn’t react to any stimulus, and mumbled incoherent sentences.”

“So, he’s gonna be crazy, huh? Like dissociated from reality?”

Giles nodded. “I’m afraid so. There is a theory, though. The author thinks that the poison draws the victim deeper into fantasy world as it progresses. If they were to be coaxed out before being consumed by it they might be saved.”

“How do we do that?” Buffy asked.

“I. . . I’m not sure,” he replied.

“I might know a way.”

Their eyes went to Willow, who had meekly spoken. The red-head smiled slightly. “I know this spell. . .”

“What?” Giles questioned.

“Yeah, um, I sort of went through some magic books one day. I’m sorry, Giles, I know I shouldn’t have,” she confessed.

The librarian frowned. “Willow, the dark arts are very dangerous.”

Willow nodded. “I know, but they can do good. They don’t have to be so dark. I gave Angel’s soul back, that wasn’t bad.”

Buffy looked down at the floor. Angel. She felt like crying, but this wasn’t the time.

“You don’t know what can happen if a spell is misperformed,” Giles informed.

“So, what, we should let Spike die?”

Beside her, Xander spoke up. “Why shouldn’t we? He’s a vampire. I say the less of them, the better.”

Buffy’s head whipped to the side. “If it wasn’t for him I would have died!”

“He made his choice, and it was to die. He’s willing.”

Buffy’s eyes flared. “That’s real cold!” she exclaimed.

She stood up, and surveyed her friends. “I don’t care how Spike acted before. He may have fought us, but he never killed anyone. And he’s different now, trust me. So, we’re going to listen to Willow. If this spell sounds workable, we’re taking it into consideration.” She turned to Willow. “Tell me what you know.”

Willow cleared her throat. “It involves someone going into another’s mind. If we can send a person into Spike, it might be possible to pull him out of the pretend universe. Then we can perform a healing spell.”

“Ok, I’ll do it,” Buffy offered.

“But. . .”

“There’s a but?”

“Yeah. You could. . . get lost. You might get sucked into the illusion, think it’s real.”

There was a long pause. Finally Buffy said,” I’ll do it.”

“What, are you nuts!?” Xander shrieked. “This is Spike. Spike equals vampire.”

“I’m the slayer, I help people no matter what the cost.”

He stared in shock. “Spike is not a person!”

Her voice came out in a soft whisper. “I’m not sure if that’s true anymore.”

Giles intervened. “I can’t let you do this, Buffy.”

She met his gaze. “I have to.”

“Think about what you’re doing.” He gestured to Spike. “This may be a helpless vampire, but he’s still a vampire. I can’t have you risking your life for him.”

“He risked his for mine.”

“The whole reason why you shouldn’t risk yours. Both of you might parish this way.”

“I know, but I couldn’t go on with the fact that I could have done something and didn’t. Especially when. . .” She sighed. “He loves me.”

A gasp came from Willow. “Are you sure?”

“He can’t, he doesn’t have a soul,” Xander said.

“You should have seen him. He looked into my eyes and told me he loved me. There was no regret in giving up his life. He only cared that I was okay,” Buffy told them.

Watching Buffy, Giles became frightened. The way she had spoken.

“Buffy, you don’t have feelings for him, do you?” her watcher questioned.

“Of course not!” Buffy defended.

He was greatly relived. “Sorry, I just. . .”

“I’m still getting over Angel.” She took a deep breath. “And I can’t forget what Spike did to us. But I owe it to him to try and help. He deserves it for what he did for me.”

“If you do this, I’m not letting you stay long.”

Buffy spun to Willow. “Get what you need.”

The newly practicing witch did just that.

________________________________________________________

Chapter 13- Desire

Synopsis/ Buffy goes into Spike’s fantasy world. Then, in 2002, Spike and Buffy face their feelings. /

May 13, 1998

They carefully moved Spike to the floor. Willow instructed Buffy to lay down beside him. Buffy complied, feeling a little awkward.

Xander handed Willow items as she chanted. She walked around Buffy and Spike in a circle.

Mind to body

Body to soul

What is lost is found

What is real is gone

A sinking sensation came over Buffy, like she was seeking into the floor. Darkness filled her vision. The next thing she knew, someone was kissing her forehead.

“Morning, sunshine.” She recognized that voice, it was definitely British.

She realized her eyes were closed, and fluttered them open. A bleached-blond man came into view. His hair was disheveled, and he was only wearing blue boxers. He smiled down on her from his seat next to her.

“There you are, luv, fraid you’d sleep all day.”

Buffy managed to sit up. She became aware of the window, which allowed light to stream through the blinds. She gasped, turning back to Spike. Then she took in his tanned skin. “You’re not burning up,” she observed vocally.

A chuckle escaped him. “No need to tease me about that nasty sunburn.”

Buffy blinked. “What?”

Spike leaned down. His lips took her so much by surprise that she didn’t have time to resist. He pulled back. “Lay off now, it’s almost healed. It was your fault anyways, not wanting to leave and all. Anyone ever told you that more than three hours on the beach is bad?”

Her mouth parted in a gape.

There was a knock on the door. “Buffy? Spike? Breakfast is ready,” someone called.

Spike stood up off the bed. “We’ll be right down, Joyce.”

What, he lived her? In her house, with her mother?

She watched him as he grabbed a pair of jeans to wear. They were followed a green t-shirt.

Buffy struggled to get to her feet. As she did so, she gasped. Her stomach was. . . round. Her hand went to it in shock. “I’m pregnant?” she muttered.

Spike came over. His arms wrapped around her. “We’ve known for five months and it’s still hard to believe, I know.” He smiled at her.

She shook her head. “This isn’t real, Spike. You made this all up.”

He began to nuzzle her neck. “It is too good to be true.”

With a slight push, she got him off her. “Listen to me, we have to. . .”

“Buffy, Spike, get your butts down here!” came a young female voice. “I’m going to eat all the muffins if you don’t!”

Whoever had yelled that was unfamiliar to Buffy.

Spike tugged on her arm. “Better get down there before nibblet gets all the food,” he expressed.

Taken by confusion, she let him lead her downstairs. Entering the kitchen, she became aware of her mother and a teenage girl.

“Finally,” said the girl. “What were you two doing up there? Was it something I can’t know about?”

“Dawn!” Joyce scolded.

“Mom, I know where babies come from, they must by doing the nasty now and then.”

Spike laughed. “No, bit, we weren’t doing anything indecent.” He whispered for only Buffy to hear, “We did that last night.”

Her eyes widened. What a world he had here. Who would have guessed that he longed for a family. With her.

They all went into the dining room. Buffy kept a curious eye on Dawn. She was her sister. A strange, yet comforting feeling.

“So, what do you two plan on doing today?” Joyce asked the couple.

Spike swallowed some bacon. “We’re going too look at houses,” he informed.

“Be sure to get one with three bedrooms. I want at least on more grandchild before you’re done.”

Buffy’s head spun as she listened to the conversation. They were a normal, happy family. She almost wished it were real.

“Luv, are you all right? You’ve hardly eaten a thing. You know vitamins are essential for the baby. At least eat the eggs, they have lots of protein.” Spike had an expression of concern on his face.

She took in a deep breath. “Spike, we have to talk.”

Total worry came over him. He set down his fork. “Okay, Buffy, let’s go into the living room.”

Both of them left the table for the couch. Buffy didn’t want to look at him. This was going to shatter his dreams. For some reason that hurt her.

“What is it?” Spike questioned.

“This whole thing was made up. You’re not human, you’re still a. . .”

A gasp escaped her. Spike touched her arm. “Pet, what is wrong?”

There it was again, a jab in her stomach. Her fingers rested over the spot. She stared down in amazement. “Oh my God. Something is alive in there.”

“Maybe you should lie down,” Spike suggested.

She shook her head. She met his gaze. Tears shimmered in her eyes. “We’re having a baby,” she murmured.

A radiant grin spread over his lips. He moved closer, kissing her softly. It was so right. Her arms went around him, never wanting this to end.

That was when everything from the outside slipped away. All that was left was the world Spike had created for them.

February 19, 2002

Spike walked the cemetery, trying to clear his head. He was so mixed up. He no longer knew who he was anymore. His whole identity had blown away in the wind.

Just then the very person he dreaded to find came into view. She was twirling a stake, coming closer. She halted when she saw him.

“Spike.”

“Slayer.”

“What do you want, Spike?”

He growled. “I want to fight.”

She sighed. She stuffed the stake into her pocket. “Fine, if that’s what you want.”

Spike charged at her. She was ready for him and blocked his swing. The matched each other’s strength and agility. Adrenaline flowed, frustration breaking free.

Buffy sent a kick in his side. He savored the pain that shot through him.

Spike hit her in the face. Her head threw back. “I hate you!” he spat. He punched again. “I hate you for making me love you!”

She ducked his next blow. She sent her own. “I hate you too! You make me hate myself because. . .” Her foot met his stomach. “I love you!”

He regained his balance. A smirk appeared on his mouth. “I tried to stop.”

“So did I,” she answered.

They stepped toward each other until only an inch separated them. He could feel her hot breath and beating heart.

“Buffy.”

“Spike.”

Their lips locked. Arms wrapped around the other. They stumbled into a tombstone. A minute later, both were on the ground. Limbs tangled together.

Buffy sensed his coolness, and him her sizzling skin. Hands were everywhere.

Panting, Spike gasped out,” Oh, Buffy, I want you.”

She moaned. “Take me then, I’m yours.”

So he did. They made love amongst the graves, in the depth of darkness.

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