TERESA MEETS THE CREW
Author's note I’M REALLY, REALLY SORRY BUT THIS IS A BLATANT MARY SUE.
Mary Sues are one of my hates in fanfiction as well, and the hate is gradually growing stronger.
This story is meant to be funny. But I warn those who have exhausted of the Mary Sue entertainment provided on ff.net and other such places, may not see any humour at all.
Mostly it's for my entertainment :-)
***
Lucas was extremely hungry and exhausted. He had really been working hard all day, trying to impress his new Captain and his fellow crewmembers. As he made his way down to the mess hall, his mind was filled with thoughts of the mistakes he’d made and fears of whether or not he had made a fool of himself as much as he was sure he normally did. He was so wrapped up in himself that he did not notice the incredibly gorgeous young woman that stepped out in front of him.
The two teenagers gave a grunt of shock and surprise as they crashed into each other. Of course, due to the girl’s incredible strength and ability to react impossibly quickly, Lucas bounced right off her perfectly rounded, and very sexy looking chest and landed on the floor.
“Uh, um, I’m sorry I didn’t see you there,” he stammered, gasping at how cute she was and her incredibly cool taste in clothes.
(Uh oops, more description here..). She was wearing baggy cream coloured white pants that came down a little way past her knees. They sat comfortably on her perfectly shaped Barbie doll hips, which couldn’t actually be seen because of her bright yellow and hot pink coloured shirt which was also kind of baggy…….oh this is too hard….
“That’s okay, Lucas. I know you can be a bit clumsy sometimes,” the cute girl responded.
Lucas narrowed his eyes as he scrambled up from the floor, “Do I know you?” he asked, wondering how she could know his name.
“No you don’t, but I know you,” she said. Lucas gave her a quizzical look, “I’m psychic,” she explained.
“Oh okay,” Lucas said, brushing himself off and heading towards the mess hall again. The girl followed him.
“So, uh, I don’t believe I’ve seen you around before,” Lucas said, trying to make conversation, “What’s your assignment on Seaquest?”
“I don’t actually have an assignment. I’m just here looking around.” It was then that Lucas noticed she had an Australian accent.
“Wait a second, you sound Australian, are you from Macronesia?” Lucas asked a little confused.
“Oh that’s such a stupid name, it rhymes with Indonesia. You Americans made that up. The real name is Austguinzealnesia,” Lucas looked at her, “Australia, Papua New Guinea, New Zealand and Indonesia all combined,” she explained happily.
“Uh…okay. That’s so much less stupid,” Lucas muttered sarcastically. “So, if you’re from….that region, how did you get assigned here?”
“I’m a political genius. I pulled a few strings so I could come here to look around.”
“You’re a politician?” Lucas said flatly, stopping to stare at her.
“Well actually I’m a highly acclaimed public speaker. I’ve pulled off political satires in Austguinzealnesia and made dictators laugh. I’m also the only politician in the world to be a teen idol,”
Lucas raised his eyebrows, “How did you do that?”
“With my incredibly vibrant, amazing and wonderfully positive personality,” she said casually. They resumed walking again. Lucas wasn’t surprised. This girl was just so likeable, he couldn’t explain it she just had this amazing presence about her.
“So you’re not in the navy,” Lucas confirmed.
“Oh no, I didn’t say that. I’m an Admiral in six different countries and a Commander in two. My abilities as a secret agent allow me to pull it off easily. I’m just glad that I didn’t have to go through boot camp or any training,” Lucas stared at her with a grin forming on his lips. “I’m anti-militarist,” she told him.
“How are you an Admiral without training?”
“Because I’m so likeable, I convinced the officers that I was a natural.” Lucas was in awe.
By now they had reached the mess hall and were getting some food.
“Oh, yuk. Liver,” Lucas commented.
“Let me get that for you,” the girl offered, “What meat do you like?”
Lucas shrugged, “Uh, I don’t know lamb,”
“Okay,” she said, waving her hand over the meat, turning it into lamb!!
“WOW!” Lucas gasped, “How did you do that?”
“I have magical powers,” she said, “That’s why my eyes glow red.” She said, picking up her tray and walking over to a table.
Lucas looked at her carefully, as he followed her, “Oh yeah they do too. You’re so lucky!”
“Actually,” she said fobbing it off, “It’s really quite annoying. My first most obvious power was electro-telekinesis. That means whenever I get really angry or frustrated, electrical devices around me explode.”
“Isn’t it a little dangerous for you to be here then?” Lucas asked worriedly, looking around at all the computer equipment in sight.
“Oh no,” she laughed, “I can control it now, so I just move things with my mind, even if I can’t see them.”
Lucas stared at her with a funny expression on his face. He then noticed that they were standing at a table where all his friends where.
“You going to introduce us to the new girl, Lucas?” Tony asked.
“Oh yeah,” Lucas exclaimed, “This is..uh..oh sorry I never caught you’re name.”
“Teresa Mary Sue Onikunstszcicajakingczas,” she said putting out her hand. Tony took it.
“Gees, Luc, her name is worse than yours. I’m not even going to try to _start_ it!”
Teresa laughed, “Most people just refer to me as the Wizard of Oz. You know because I have magical and super powers, and because I’m from Australia.”
“Oh my God!” An extra ran up excitedly, “You’re _her_. The girl who writes the books that secret service set up covert operations to retrieve!! Wow,” he continued, “Your idea on abolishing world poverty was brilliant! It really worked!”
“Well,” Teresa blushed, “It would be tragic if my writings were unheard.”
The man ran off to tell all of his friends. Teresa returned her attention to the others.
“What kind of super powers do you have?” Lucas asked as he finally sat down.
“I’m unusually strong and flexible,” she sighed, bored, “It’s a strange condition that I was born with.”
“Hey, I’m strange too,” Tony said, trying to relate to the girl, “I got gills,” he said lifting up his shirt, ignoring in the ‘ew’s’ from his crew mates, “so I can breath under water. Bet ‘cha you can’t do that, huh?” he said proudly, putting his shirt back down.
“Not in my human form, no. But I can morph into animals objects and things.”
“Oh,” Tony said. This girl was annoying.
“Hey, where’s Lonie?” Lucas asked.
“She’s been transferred,” explained Tim. Tim looked over and explained to Teresa, “un vexen uch tong flesen ti glygen.”
Teresa laughed, “goo puchong!” The others looked at them, confused. “Tim just spoke in Hyperion. He said that Lonie was a really annoying slut,”
“In Hyperion??” Lucas, Tony and Dagwood exclaimed.
“A slut??” Ford exclaimed.
“Yes, I speak most languages in the galaxy,” Teresa said.
At this moment Hudson decided to appear, “Who are you?” he demanded.
“Uh Oh,” she said, “Gotta go guys.”
“Where? Back to Australia?” Lucas asked.
“Well…yeah..back to 2002.” They all stared at her again. I was born in 1983 but I created a time machine because I got bored correcting Calculus.” With this she snapped her fingers and disappeared.
“And I was just falling in love…” Lucas murmured.