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August 3, 2003-- I'm sittin here...at my computer, I got bored, and
I just finished drinking 4 liters and 20oz. of Mountain Dew, so I decided I would tell you all about my lovely day. I went
to bed at about 5am, woke up at 6am and went to work. I got home at 2 and slept. It is now 2 in the morning and I just spent
the last three hours walking around town, drinking Mountain Dew with Ryan and Nate. On my wonderful journey,
we ran into a homeless guy and he walks up to us and says "AY, you kids gotta dollar?!" n we were like "well Mr. Homeless
Guy, that depends, have you ever had somebody shove a rooster up your ass and call you Charlie?!" n he was like "NO!!" n we
were like "HA neither have we......NEEEEEEEERD!!!" (ok that didn't really happen but it sounded cool right?) but on to the
facts! there we were, walking by Maverick, and here we have a SIDEWALK and a BIKE ROUTE. Us being law-obiding citizens, we
were walking on the side walk, this old lady decided she was going to be a wrinkley old hag and ride on the sidewalk, where
she almost crashed into me. She swerved and I jumped out of the way. Seeing that she was old and probably was safer on a bike,
and thanking the good lord that she wasn't in a car, I let it slide, yet she decided to turn around and yell "get out of my
way!! fuckin punks!!". She tainted my mind with her awful curse words, it was traumatizing, so I decided to irrationally chase
her down the street, barking. About an hour and a half into our journey, we weren't paying attention to anything, and I ended
up walking right into a low branch, where my lip ring decided to get caught on a twig. It was horrid for me, but I'm sure
the people who drive by and saw me trying to pull my lip free from a branch found it quite amusing, I will make a mental note
to always look for low branches while walking. To round up our wonderful hike around the interesting town of Rock Springs,
Wyoming, we were three 17-19 year old born menaces, sitting on the curb right before you get off the beltloop. Nate was smoking,
while me and Ryan proceeded in torturing a bunch of drunks who just got back from the County Fair and decided to persue their
partying at a park just across the belt loop, and two guys in a company truck stopped and rolled down their window and asked
us "hey, do any of you three smoke marijuana?" I looked at the guy and asked him "why, do you wanna buy some?" as Nate copied
down the name and number of their company that was on the side of the truck. They then proceeded to tell us that they wanted
to purchase some pot, we informed them that we didn't have any on us but we would gladly sell them some crack. They agreed
and handed us about $80 dollars and asked us what that could get them, we then told them that we sell some of the most high
quality crack that they could get around these parts, turned around, mooned them, and ran down the hill and hid out in the
school yard. Come monday, we shall call their company and inform their manager of their intentions to not only harass
three innocent victims of society, but also purchase illegal substances. And that my friends, concludes our wonderful journey
around Rock Springs.
k thiz iz a poem by mah
bro John, it's not dedicated ta ne1 yet but ere it iz.
-The One I Love-
the one i love is you
and your my only love.
When we are apart
i feel lonley n depressed
but when we are together
i feel nothing but your love
the day we leave each other
it the day i die, for you love
is all that keeps me alive
aight theze are a few thingz outta mah book that im writin..on ALLLL
my random thoughtz!! soundz intreiuging doeznt it!!
I think that whoever came up with the commercial for the stain remover
"Shout" was really stupid. I mean...think about it..what if a blind person was listening to the television and all they heard
was "new stain removal technology..SHOUT IT OUT!!" then they might get the thought in their head that maybe because of new
technology, all they had to do was yell at the stain to make it come out. Then, because they were blind, they wouldn't know
that yelling at the stain doesn't work...THINK OF THE HANDICAPPED PEOPLE DUMBASSES!!
If I was a cat, and someone threw me off the roof to see if I would
land on my feet, I would flip twice and land on my back. Just to piss them off.
You know how cats always manage to land on their feet, and buttered
toast always manages to land butter-side down? I wonder what would happen if you were to tie a piece of buttered toast to
a cat and then throw it, you think it'll land on it's side?
Whoever said that drinking and driving dont mix wasnt entirely correct.
They actually mix, just not very well. Unless you are looking to drive into a wall and not remember it the next day;
then they mix just fine.
The whole idea of trading beads for a look at a girls breast is somewhat
amusing. It seems like both the flasher and the one being flashed get the short end of the stick. If both went into a strip
club, the guy could see boobs for free and the girl could walk with like $700 a night instead of 75 strings of beads that
will hang from a coat rack and remind her that she should never drink vodka again.
I wonder why no stick figures are overweight?
I dont see anything wrong with going out with a girl because her mom
is attractive. But, if her Dad kicks your ass, dont blame me.
You know, no one is born a menace to society. That shit takes work.
Whoever had the idea to milk cows was probably some pervert. I mean,
what was his motivation. "Those calves may be onto something. Martha, hold Bessie still. Im gonna give it a try." Thats just
bad. Im glad milk comes in bottles now. Thats a long way to bend down, and I'll bet it stinks under a cow.
I dont smoke pot, but I sometimes hang around people who do. They always
have great snack ideas, and if you are low on cash, it is a good group to hang
out with for a free meal. If all of your friends are stoned, just start talking
about cheese pizza, or graham crackers with peanut butter. You'll be well on
your way to snack heaven in no time at all!!
I like watching fat people on Thanksgiving or at a big buffet. If they could move faster, you know they would fight
How many people wish they would just have a plane set up somewhere at
the airport so we could practice sliding down the big yellow inflatable slide. You put a kiddie pool at the end
of that thing, and you have an entire afternoon of fun, AND we are all going to have experience if we ever really need the
thing.
Man, I'll bet Santa Clause
gets sick of cookies. I hope that dude is not Lactose intolerant. I always set
out a Philly Cheese Steak and a beer. Fat guys gotta have their energy. Last time he came to my house, he ended up passed out on the couch watching re runs of Everybody
Loves Raymond. Half the kids in my town didnt get presents until the next day,
and I think he may have been a bit hung over, because I hear he waited in the sleigh and let the elves take the shit down
the chimney. And one of my friends swears he saw him puking down someones attic
vent.
I always wondered what the deal with "Lactose Intolerant" was...I mean,
when did this whole thing come about. When I was a kid, if milk made your stomach
hurt, you drank something else, I never heard of Ice Cream making someone fart.
I dont get it. Eat your fucking
Oreos and shut up. If you dont like cheese, pass it down. Oranges
give me bumps on my tongue, so I DONT eat oranges. What a concept, I am Citrus Intolerant
I think people that dont like hot dogs are obviously very troubled and
should not be allowed to eat catsup on anything.
When I was little, I used to think that "Catsup" was pronounced "Cat
Soup" and always wondered why anybody would want to put Cat Soup on their hot dogs...I was a very troubled child....
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