Problem #1: It is rubbish.

Problem #2: People who like it are rubbish.

Problem #3: Despite Paul Weller and Ocean Colour Scene's claims of being 'real' and of having 'soul', any dadrock song sounds laughably empty and hollow next to bands like Sparklehorse, David Devant or the Boo Radleys, and even supposedly 'middle- class fake bands' like Blur create records with an immense amount of life and energy when compared to vapid toss like 'Flying' by Cast or 'Sound Of Drums' by Kula Shaker.

Problem #4: All of Ocean Colour Scene's faces.

Problem #5: Your parents like it. The whole point of having parents is to piss them off. Your dad ought to be sticking his head 'round your bedroom door saying "What on earth is this noise? David Dewhat?", not "Hey, who's this pop beat combo? They sound pretty good. You know, I used to listen to stuff like this when I was your age..." Run! Run for your life!

Problem #6: Dadrock gigs are a gaping glamourless vacuum of dull people with dull clothes and dull haircuts. Where are the feather boas? Where is the glitter? What's the point?

Problem #7: Paul Weller. For God's sake, just die before all your dignity is gone. Being prepared to grow a big, fuzzy, patchy moustache for no good reason is surely the mark of a man whose time is up.

Problem #8: Loads of people who used to like pop music now invariably like The Verve, Embrace and their many cohorts, thus filling the charts with dadrock shit. At least pop music is fun, catchy and sometimes very creative stuff that you can boogie to, but trying really bop to the likes of Ocean Colour Scene is an exercise in futility.

Problem #9: Liam Gallagher and his inbred, monobrowed family seem to have convinced every magazine, music show and record company that their dadrock is the 'music of our generation'. Cheers, lads. Contrary to the assumptions of the media, most of actually don't want twenty pages of coverage on Noel Gallagher taking a teacupful of drugs whilst attacking the queen and getting his hair shaved off in front of the PM or whatever shocking thing he does next to keep the papers from forgetting about him.

Problem #10: Look, I just don't like it, alright?