Learn to use both in the best in the appropriate
situations
Become Bilingual – Male and Female language
Female Language
Rapport talk – show support, build community:
"I’m glad everyone had a change to participate"
Supportive – listen and respond to spoken and
unspoken conversational slues about other persons feelings. "I understand" lets
the speaker know they are not alone, and understood.
Tentative – create an impression of less authority
and less self-assured: "The report is due today, isn’t it?"
Conversational initiation – ask questions to get
the conversation going: "Did you hear about…..?" "Are you going
to……?"
Male Language
Report talk – focus less on feelings and more on
information, facts, knowledge and competence.
Instrumental – report to get things done; solve
problems; define status: "Finish that proposal by Monday"
Advice – when dealing with personal problems; try
to offer a solution; empathizing to show solidarity does not seem helpful or appropriate
Assertive; Certain; Direct; Authoritative – use
statements of fact rather than opinion: "That deduction belongs on schedule C"
rather than "I think that’s a schedule C deduction"
Dominance or Control – of conversation – for
gaining power