CONES CALL FOR AN END TO HARSH TREATMENT.

As dawn broke, The Sweep News was allowed for the first time ever, to exclusively report on the Annual General Meeting of Cones. The main item on the agenda, was the harsh treatment being experienced by the Traffic Section. One Traffic Cone after another told terrible tales of being physically thrown into the back of police vans, while others told of being abandoned for days by the side of the road. Some stated that even after collection they were thrown into the back yard of the station and left to face the elements. Tony Traffic Cone said to The Sweep News that many were so dissatisfied that they were considering leaving Traffic to join the Caution Wet Floor Section. The meeting was concluded by a moving speech by Baby Timmy Traffic Cone who finished with the message, " Please remember Cones have feelings too."

BETTER EQUIPMENT PROMISE FOR CONES.

After months of negotiations the Union of Toys and Puppets have at last secured better working conditions for Scarborough's Traffic Cones. Their plight was first brought to public attention in Issue 4 of The Sweep News and as a result of the public outcry, negotiations began with the Police Authority and Local Government. It was agreed that better protection was required, as the Cones were frequently kicked, run over, forcibly placed on the top of post boxes and generally assaulted in the line of duty. Billy Traffic Cone who is pictured opposite, was the first Cone to benefit by being issued a Police helmet, stab proof vest and the associated equipment required to defend himself. "I feel," said Billy. "That at last Cones are being treated as equals and that in future Cones everywhere will be properly equipped to do this difficult job." The Sweep News was happy to play its part in securing better working conditions for Cones and perhaps CONE POWER! will be the new catchphrase to take us into the millennium.

THE CONE CHRISTMAS PARTY.

After what must be the most eventful and successful year in recent Cone history, the Scarborough Cones are pictured here celebrating in style at their annual Christmas party.
The Sweep News were invited as honored guests and spoke to some of the Traffic section, who due to being left out on the streets overnight, had to sneak back to the station to attend. 
Baby Timmy Traffic Cone laughed when he told us that they made their way back to the station inch by inch, stopping and looking innocent whenever a car or anybody came past. “ I don’t think anybody noticed, ” said Timmy,     “ but Billy nearly gave the game away by sniggering when a man came out of his house and said, I don’t remember any Cones being there earlier !”
The day after the party the Sweep News caught up with Billy who said that on behalf of the Traffic Section would like to apologize to any car drivers who may have got a parking ticket for parking between Cones. After the party, he explained they were a little the worse for wear and couldn't remember where they were supposed to be. “ I’m sorry to say we just fell asleep between parked cars all over the place, but don’t tell the boss!”
It’s ok Billy your secrets safe with us !!

TREVOR KILLED IN HIT AND RUN ACCIDENT.

The Sweep News is saddened to have to report that Trevor Traffic Cone has been killed in a hit and run road traffic accident.
The accident occurred in the back yard of Scarborough Police Station over the New Year period but to date there has been a lack of any forthcoming witnesses.
Baby Timmy Traffic Cone who is at home on compassionate leave due to the upset, said to the Sweep News,
“I was just talking to Trevor Traffic Cone minutes before the accident but as I returned from the little cones room I saw Trevor lying on the ground, I ran up to him and as he passed away I said, go into the light Trevor Traffic Cone go into the light!” 
Anyone with any information regarding this tragedy please contact CID        ( Cone Investigation Department. )

A CONE DAY OUT.

After what has been a difficult start to the year, the Scarborough Traffic Cones were treated by the Sweep News to a day out at the park. 
Baby Timmy Traffic Cone could barely contain his excitement, as the only day trips he had been on before were to the road side, usually the gutter. 
Sadly all the little Children who had been playing in the park left as the Cones began to play, showing that education is still needed to integrate Cones fully into society at large. 
Tony Traffic Cone said, “You could say that the Parking Cones were Kings of the Park!” You could say that Tony but we wish you hadn’t!