Topic: Humor
“It’s ruined!” cried Alaskan orange farmer Dale Watson. “I can’t believe this… I really thought this year would be the one.” In what Alaskan officials are deeming as the worst disaster to hit the Alaskan Orange crop since last winter, it is believed that 100% of all the orange crops in Alaska, from Fairbanks to Juneau are a complete loss. Temperatures zoomed down into the negative digits for only the 23rd time in Barrow this season, which left the orange crops in utter tatters.
Juneau, which wasn’t as bashed by the winter as northern Alaska, still hasn’t managed to get out from under the freezing mark for two weeks, which would spell disaster for the orange farmers there as well. This is the worst crop disaster in Alaskan history since last winter, when the cold weather destroyed crops all over the state. It’s also the 23rd straight year, since orange groves spread across the state for the first time, that the orange crops have failed to yield a single piece of fruit.
The governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin announced that she would seek federal aid to help compensate the orange grove owners, which haven’t seen a dime made since they first opened. US Senator Ted Stevens was also working pen legislation to help free the orange grove workers of liability regarding the work safety conditions on the groves. It has been estimated that over 100 people, mostly illegal immigrants from Central America, have died from “accidents” while tending to the crops above the artic circle. “We mustn’t let these details affect our ability to help those in need and those people in need are these poor orange grove farmers in Alaska,” said Senator Stevens in a press conference earlier today in the nation’s capital.
Richard thought this
at 1:43 PM EST
