New John Hopkins Study Proves Yo Momma So Fat...
Topic: Humor
AP - Bethesda, Maryland -- A case study just completed at John Hopkins University has concluded that yo momma so fat my dog bit her and died of cholesterol poisoning. The five year case study was first started when study author, William Ying heard rumors that yo momma’s so fat she entered a fat contest and won first, second and third. "When I heard of humors about that, I knew I really wanted to do a case study to find out just how fat yo momma is."

The implications of this discovery has gotten the attention of some politicians. "If this study is correct," started Dennis Hastert (R), "then that could mean if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance. This would become a difficult national health care hurdle to account for! If she was covered with Medicare, the costs could be detrimental to the nation."

Even Bush Administration's Secretary of the Treasury was alarmed by the study. "This could mean if she's so fat, that if she sat on a dollar bill and turned it into 4 quarters. This could lead to security problems regarding the following of currency," said Secretary Paulson.