As written by Martin Fish

Foreword from the webmaster ...
As with all biographies ... a more cost-effective means of reading this is to hit the 'print' button on your browser, or cut & paste it into Microsoft Word :-)

THE OFFICIAL FISH BROTHERS BIOGRAPHY

The Fish Brothers have been going for a number of years in two guises. The first is the pub duo which just features Chesty Charnsworth (sex god) on guitar and vocals and Martin Fish (nee Edith Charnsworth) singing. This band was set up primarily to annoy people and get free drinks into the bargain. The original Fish was Chunky Charnsworth who's given up music these days and the duo spent most of their time in The Eagle getting pissed and annoying people. The pub was also the birthplace of the much more famous Levellers and everyone bumped into each other at one party or another in Brighton. Spaz and Dave decided to combine their two favourite musical styles (Victorian Music Hall & Punk Rock) into one band which as far as we know is a world's one and only. Rarely seen outside of Brighton, and they are banned from playing many hostelries in that town too, The Fish Brothers have become something of a cult (sic) item popping up on compilation CDs and festival radio with Captain Sensible. In late 1993 their old muckers The Levellers invited The Fish Brothers to support them on their World Freakshow tour. Suddenly faced with large theatres (the first gig was at Bournemouth International Centre!) they decided to expand and drafted in M. M. Mcghee (who drummed on their original cassette) and Les Pubshitter on bass. They went down a storm in front of enthusiastic audiences but in true Fish Bros fashion they recieved no offers from any companies, they didn't even get a review! Les Pubshitter was sacked when he gave up drinking to raise his sperm count opening the way for bass supremo and keyboard wizard - Blonde Wanton the waiflike nine stone rent boy. Fish Brothers main song subjects are alcohol and childish innuendo. We have songs such as 24 hour drinking in which we demand to know why as signees of Maastricht and European Unity our pubs shut at 11pm whist bars in Europe seem to close when they want. During our time singing this song the dreaded Sunday shutdown (3pm - 7pm) has been abolished and pubs can now stay open all day seven days a week. But this is not enough. Staggered pub closing, we think, will stop hundreds of drunk young men charging into the streets at exactly the same time (a recipe for trouble I'm sure you'll agree). Another song is Down in One which is a song which doesn't prevent staggereing in any shape or form. A duo speciality it involves people challenging Martin Fish to a down in one competition halfway through the song. Giving Martin an excuse to use his Wrestling MC's impression its a gulp to the finish. Martin hardly ever wins and in answer to shouts of macho bullshit our down in one champion many times has been Joolz and also Jane who won the competition at her wedding reception. Fish Brothers gigs have little in common with your normal Phil Collins gigs and audiences take great pleasure in yelling abuse. The band would be one of the first to admit they can have their off moments hence the "Fish Brothers Are Crap" t shirts. Abusive shouts lead onto another crowd favourite "U Fat Bastard". Martin and McGhee are both horizontally challenged and we call on you fellow fatties to stand up. Say it loud be fat and proud. We teletubbies pay more in taxes cause we drink, eat and smoke more than everyone else. So death to Rosemary Conley. In September 1997 we released our first ever piece of vinyl. It's a split EP (double B side) with those young pretenders to our brown crown Anal Beard! The songs are Toilet Lady, The Melk, Lobster Song and Super Sushi Medley. In November came our first CDLP - Follow Thru. Eeh it's fantastic if we say so ourselves. Drinking will aid your enjoyment of this album. You'll hopefully be seeing more of us with The Levellers as we've tied Mr Chadwick up and got him to agree that The Fish must ALWAYS support them on tour! It is with deep sadness that we announce the general leaving of Blonde Wanton. He's concentrating on his soon to be famous - Not Bit of Wood. But Ste (formerly of Pan) is in with his inimitable cheeky Scouse grin and kilt and toilet shenanigans.