Easily Better Than You

I was a miner before Billy Bragg
I was six months when I smoked my first fag
I'm so ashamed what can I do
Cos I'm easily better than you

When I was one year old I had my first pint
Spilled out of the local and started a fight
What can I want what can I do
Cos I'm easily better than you

I'm Mr Perfect
I'm Mr Clean
I've been to places that you've never seen
I'm bloody cocky
I've got the right
Cos I'm so excellent and you're all so shite

I got my first girlfriend when I was just two
Didnt need no manuals I knew what to do
I am a live sex machine
And I think you all know what I mean

I was a rockstar before I was four
Groupies at my ankles when I was on tour
I never need to take a rest
Cos when I'm in bed I'm the best

I'm really smashing
I'm really great
I am the smartarse you all love to hate
I am Cliff Richard
I am a saint
Cos I'm the business and you bloody ain't

Now I am five years old and time's running out
I've got syphilis and beer-drinking pouch
When I meet God I'll say "you're through"
Cos I'm easily better than
Easily better than
Easily better than you
And you know I am

(mate)

Copyright ©Cooper/Fish Brothers 1998