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Journeys of the Questress - WTC
Oct 28 - Each Day I Search the Rubble
Home
The Way it Was - 1
The Way it Was - 2
Sept 19 - When Tomorrow Never Comes
Sept 27 - Oral Interpretation
Oct 5 - A Mile of Tears - Part 1
Oct 5 - A Mile of Tears - Part 2
Oct 5 - A Mile of Tears - Part 3
Oct 11 - Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Oct 28 - Each Day I Search the Rubble
Nov 12 - When Spires Fall
Nov 19 - 911 The Rape of America
Dec 14 - Just A Thought
Dec 18 - A Sense of Place
Feb 2 - Final Pass to the End Zone
March 3 - Sitting on the Edge
March 14- Do You Still Remember
March 20 - Virtual Walk-Through
March 25 - When Will It End - Part 1
March 25 - When Will It End - Part 2
April 1 - Towers of Light
May 14 - View From Above
May 30 - Tunnel At the End of the Light
May 31 - Seventeen Hundred
Aug 9 - From the Margins Erased
Aug 30 - The Train Doesn't Stop There Anymore
Sept 9 - Ceremonies of Light and Dark
Sept 10 - Just An Anniversary
Sept 12 - September Holds Great Promise
Literary Reflections
Rebirth and Resurrection
The Winter Garden Springs To Life
The Winter Garden Springs To Life - con't
Underpass to the Past
Rebuilding Ground Zero
Under Hallowed Ground
Borders
Yahrzeit
What Will Fill the Void?
I Submit a Design
Footprints in the Dust
My Memorial Design Submission
My Memorial Design - Drawings
New Path Train Station
Path Station Tour
May We Never Forget
That Which Surives
War Without End
4th Anniversary
Footprints in the Dust
Void
I Miss 9/11
Time Comes Between Us
A Thousand Cranes
Fear Factor
Love Letters On The Wall
Empty Chairs
Sitting on the Edge of Forever
Walking the Perimeter of Emptiness
A Counting of Days
For Friends Absent But Not Forgotten
Stigmata
The Memory Keeper's Promise
Unbreak My Heart
Standing On The Edge Of Forever
Both Sides Now
A Memory In Time
The Gravity of Loss
The Survivors Rise Up
Flowers Will Bloom
The Fire Within Us
The Sentinel
Stronger Than The Storm
Between the Candle and the Stars
Ghosts
A Journey Through Remembrance
Canticle of Remembrance
Beyond the Crucible of Chaos
Journey Through Remembrance project
What See We Now
Forever In Our Hearts
Keeping the Flame Alive
The Rebuilding of Ground Zero continues
Does Anyone Care Anymore?
Where Is Our Story Teller of Pain
At Memory's Edge
Dust Thou Art and to Dust Thou Shalt Return
7x7x70
Heroes Never Die
The Flame Inside Our Hearts
The Year of the Heroes of 9/11

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Each Day I Search the Rubble

I don't want to forget. All I have left are the memories of the way they were and their last moments. It feels unreal even though I've seen the empty skyline and Ground Zero firsthand. Each day I need an affirmation that yes, they are gone, I didn't just dream it.

At first it was easy to get nuggets of news about progress at Ground Zero. In fact, each day I was inundated with stories, in the newspapers, on TV, or from friends. I was told about survivors, horror stories, miracles, sadness, and rescue efforts at Ground Zero. Connections to the Towers were around every corner I turned.

But as all news grows stale, this too would take a back seat to the bombings of Afghanistan, anthrax, and even the NYC Mayoral campaign. But I still hurt over their loss and hungered for more information about Ground Zero or any other factoids about the Towers that could be gleaned.

So each day I sift through my own personal rubble: the TV channels, newspapers and magazines, the Internet. I sift for anything that will keep the emotion of sorrow or tragedy alive. I need to hurt in order to make it real.

Some days I'm lucky and the nightly news will report bodies have been found and show, for a few brief moments, Ground Zero and the rescue workers. Some days I'll come across an article in the newspaper about a 'miracle' at Ground Zero. One such miracle was the locating of 500 photograph packets, all in-tact, in the underground Mall photo mart and the lady (a survivor) who was now able to reclaim these photos of her now dead coworkers.

When the media brings me nothing I go back and read through the magazines I have saved but not yet read that contain stories on the tragedy. Or I look over the photos I took at Ground Zero. Some days I call a friend who I haven't seen since Black Tuesday and thus have a chance to talk about "where were you that morning?".

I know in time I have to let go. But for now it's part of my daily life, like doing that last check of the stove before I leave for work. If I don't I feel uneasy all day. If I don't connect with the Twin Towers in some way each day, I feel an emptiness inside. For now, tragedy and sorrow are the twin towers of my mental skyline.
 
c 2001 Leona Seufert