So far, the only information I can divulge is the following.

• I can a carbon based life form

• I reside on the planet known as "Earth"

• I am 295 months old. (That's for all those dumb parents who refer to they're children's age in months)

• I've recently decided to go to a full beard for the winter, as opposed to the more modern goatee

• I really think that with 2 "all-cartoon" cable channels, you would think that they could run the original "Transformers" series.  But NOOOOOO.  If anyone from the CRTC sees this.... HELP US OUT, I mean....really.

ALL OTHER INFORMATION IS CLASSIFIED AND IS RELEASED ONLY ON A NEED-TO-KNOW BASIS.