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But to tide you over till then, here's a poem for Divine Comedy fans:

Pish Posh

Doctor Diver stood on the table
and proclaimed his right to life
whilst Barban was unable
to remove the bra from his wife
Abe North was in the drawing room
throwing literature at Hitler
Baby was in the garden shed
Busy feeling up the Butler
No one saw the mayoress
with the local priest
he spent the night up her dress
more fun than a nun, at least
"Good show," said I to the hostess
"I've had a marvellous evening,
though you seem to be in some distress,
maybe because I'm leaving?"
"Oh no," said she with a nervous eye
"You've been a model guest,
but all the time I wonder why
the others act possessed"
"I can't help but feel responsible
for the conduct of our chums
I fear it was the LSD
that I sprinkled on the buns
But never mind, they seem alright,
mind you, I think I'll be leaving
I never like to see them fight
when they're hallucinating."
And as I left with quite some haste
it become obvious to me
though what I'd done had little taste
It banished my melancholy!

David Brookes, 1999

For lots more of these, email me at smartcunt@usa.net