The Way Part 2-Phase 2 By: Sailor Jes e-mail: Sailor Jes@aol.com Hi all, Sorry this took so long. I've been busy. I hope you enjoy this phase and I'll try to get the next one out in a little over a month! Sailor Moon doesn't belong to me. But my fic does and if you want to use it for anything, you gotta ask permission! Love, Jessi P.S. Keep those e-mails coming! ************************************************************************ "War is like love, it always finds a way." -Bertolt Brecht ******** Someday My friend: We will know Love - Of its existence. In time Existing within it: Becoming part of it. You and I. - Jonivan ************************************************************************ "So what are you going to do this summer?" Rei asked Usagi as the two walked to the latter's apartment after class. Usagi smiled and inhaled deeply. "Ahhh, I don't know. Go to the beach, eat ice cream, watch baseball in the park, relax...hang out with Seiya. The possibilities are endless. Why do you ask?" Rei shrugged. "Just wanted to know. Maybe you can come visit me when I'm up in the mountains." "The mountains?" asked Usagi. "Yeah, I go to this shrine in the mountains every year during the summer to fine tune my skills. It's like three hours away by train and it's so peaceful up there! I'm looking forward to it." "It sounds wonderful. Maybe I will go visit," Usagi replied just as they reached the door to her apartment. "Come on in," she invited. Usagi slipped the key through the lock and opened the door. "Hello! I'm home!" she called. No response. "Looks like we're home alone," Rei said. "Yup," answered Usagi. "Let me check my messages." Usagi pressed the button on her answering machine. "Odango," began the message. Usagi recognized it immediatly as Seiya's voice, as deep and melifluous as liquid sugar. "It's me, Seiya. What are you doing tonight? I really want to see that new Sci-fi movie downtown. Have you heard about it? It sounds awesome! I'll be moping by the telephone until you call me. Bye!" Usagi smiled at Rei and sighed. He was probably the most adorable guy in the world. "Message 2," said the electronic voice of the answering machine. "Hey, Usa, it's me," started the message. Usagi cringed. Mamoru. She felt ashamed for feeling disgusted. But lately...she didn't know what was going on with him. Take last night for example... ..."I think I'm finally understanding some of this Chemistry stuff," Usagi said, as she and Mamoru sat on the balcony of his apartment. "Really?" Mamoru said, staring off at the bright lights of Tokyo. "Yeah, it's getting easier. This professor that I have, although he difficult to understand at first, is actually a pretty good teacher. I've learned a lot this year." There was no reply from her counterpart. Usagi looked up from her book at Mamoru. He was looking away from her. Suddenly, he sucked his teeth and pushed the chair out violently, leaving Usagi wondering what she had said. "Mamo-chan, what?" she asked, chasing him into the apartment. "Nothing," he replied angrily, waving his hand in the air. "What! Obviously I said something! You know, you're reacting like a child!" "A child? Okay, Usa. the child," he said as he marched into the kitchen. Usagi was hot on his heels. "What! Mamo-chan...I don't understand." "Children are blind to the world, Usa! They can't even see reality!" he yelled while opening one of the cabinets and slamming it back shut. "Mamo-chan...I-I don't know what I did!" Usagi protested, her eyes tearing up. His irrational behavior was frightening her. Mamoru turned back around and saw her eyes brimming with tears. His heart turned to mashed potatoes. He could have kicked himself for being overly sensitive. "I'm sorry," he said in barely a whisper. "I just became upset when you didn't think I had helped you with your Chemistry...I'm an idiot." "Oh, Mamo-chan," Usagi breathed. "It's my fault. I thought you knew how much I appreciate your help." Mamoru looked down and smiled half-heartedly. "It's not your fault, Usa." Then he gazed back up at her, the corners of his lips turned up wistfully. He blinked and in that one millisecond of an eye movement, Usagi saw and felt something she hadn't ever felt from her friend before. His eyes bore into hers as if they were cracking a hidden code. Except for the repetetive ticking of the clock on the wall, there was not a sound in the room. Mamoru inched his hand forward on the linoleum counter towards Usagi's own hand. His finger brushed hers and it felt like an ant was crawling over her skin. Usagi jerked her hand away. The upturned corners of his lips straightened out and Mamoru faced away to open the refrigerator. Stunned, Usagi backed out of the kitchen. Her heart was thumping in her chest. She placed her hand on her forehead and rubbed her temples. Quickly gathering her things, Usagi said: "Uh, it's late. I-uh-better get-uh-going. I'll see you." She opened the door, escaped from his aprtment, slammed the door shut, and ran out of the building... ..."Call me back. ." That was it. Mamoru, sparse and laconic as always. Usagi shook her head and erased the messages. "I'll call them back later," she told Rei. "Let's go to my room." "Who was that last guy?" Rei asked, flopping down onto Usagi's bed. Sighing, Usagi resumed shaking her head. "That is Mamo-chan." "Well, you don't sound too enthusiastic about him. Ex-boyfriend?" Then, Usagi laughed. "Hardly. He's my best friend." The surprised look on Rei's face made Usagi chuckle. "Your best friend and you're reacting like that?" Rei said. The smile on Usagi's lips diminished. "Yeah, well, he's been acting weird ever since I starting seeing Seiya. We used to be able to talk about anything. He would even finish my sentences for me. But now...I'm not so sure. Things are changing between me and him. We're becoming strangers again." "Again?" asked Rei. "Yeah, we used to despise each other before we became best friends," Usagi said. "Okay...you two must have something unique," laughed Rei. Usagi smiled too but then became serious again. "I don't know what to do. I love Seiya but Mamo-chan is my best friend." "Well, can't the three of you go out together?" Rei asked. "We've tried," Usagi answered. "But they become different people around each other. Seiya freezes up around him because he thinks Mamo-chan hates him." "And does he?" Usagi shrugged. "We don't talk about Seiya and me. Whenever I mention him, Mamo-chan changes the subject." "So, he's emotionally inacessible?" Rei commented. Usagi shook her head. "No...I wouldn't say that...I guess so...oh, I don't know! I just don't understand him at all!" Rei sighed and then laughed lightheartedly. "Usagi, you need a vacation!" Usagi smiled and laughed. "Yeah, tell me about it!" ****** "Seiya..." whined Usagi, as the two walked out of the theater. "That had to be the most boring movie ever!" Seiya laughed and hugged his girlfriend's waist tighter. "I didn't notice." "How could you not notice!" Usagi insisted. Seiya smiled. "It's hard to concentrate on a movie when you've got the world's most beautiful girl sitting next to you." Usagi blushed and looked up into her boyfriend's eyes. "Flattery will get you nowhere." He leaned close to her. "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah..." She tilted her head to the side, closed her eyes, and waited for Seiya to kiss her. Suddenly, a bright flash cut the moment short. "Seiya-san!" shouted a man, with a small notebook. A man with a camera accompanied him. "Who is this new girl we've been hearing about? Do you have any long-term plans? What is-" Seiya narrowed his eyes and brushed past the two men. "No comment," he yelled. Then in a low whisper, he added "Usagi, keep walking and don't say anything." The men followed and kept asking questions. Finally, Seiya turned around and shouted: "I told you no comment! If you don't stop pestering me, I'll call the authorities." The man backed off and muttered something under his breath before walking away. "Vultures," mumbled Seiya. "Sorry about that, Usagi." Usagi looked shaken. "It's okay. I'm just surprised it hasn't happened before." "Well, it will probably be happening a lot more now," Seiya remarked. "Why?" "Oh, I didn't tell you," Seiya said enthusiastically. "We're making another CD this summer." "What! Oh, Seiya, that's great," Usagi exclaimed. "Yeah, I know. It's gonna be big. I've already started writing some of the songs," he said. "Oh, let me hear one!" pleaded Usagi. "Well, they're not complete. Hey, how would you like to come to the recording studio sometime?" "Really!" Usagi nearly screamed. "Do you mean it?!" "Of course, Odango. Anything for you," Seiya said. "Anything?" Usagi asked. "Anything," said Seiya, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Prove it," Usagi murmured. "Okay," Seiya said, before taking Usagi and kissing her properly. ******** Usagi inhaled the humid air and then exhaled contentedly. "I just love summer!" she exclaimed, stretching her arms up to the cloudless sky. Mamoru laughed. "It's obvious." The two walked together through the tree-lined path of the park. It was a sunny Thursday of the first week of summer. "I don't think life gets any better than this," Usagi sighed. Suddenly, she looked straight ahead and saw a small ice cream cart. "Oooh! I lied! Come on, Mamo-chan, let's go get some ice cream." She dashed ahead and stood in the line, drooling over the cool, colorful buckets of ice cream. "The eternal question," she told Mamoru once he met up with her. Smiling, he replied "What is?" "Chocolate or vanilla, of course. On one side you've got chocolate. It's sweet but in a seductive way. Chocolate is dark and exotic and sultry. You never know what you'll get out of it. It either leaves you completely satiated or wanting more. Vanilla, on the other hand, is sweet in that pure, clean way. You know exactly what you'll get. It bathes your tongue in a sugary blanket of comfort. Like an old friend. I never know which one to get." Mamoru chuckled. "I think that you've thought about this a little too much." Usagi nudged him. "What'll ya have, miss?" the man behind the cart asked her. "I know exactly what I want," she said, glancing sidewards at Mamoru. "A cone. One scoop vanilla, one scoop chocolate." The man filled the cone with her request and handed it to her. "Perfection," Usagi sighed as she took a huge lick out of the chocolate scoop. Mamoru laughed as he took a bite out of his own strawberry cone. "Both?" he said. "Can't you make a decision, Usa?" Biting off a hunk of vanilla, Usagi answered: "In important matters like this, there can only be compromise." Mamoru and she continued walking. "Not in life can be compromised, you know. Sometimes you've just got to choose, chocolate or vanilla." Usagi glanced queerly at Mamoru. Were they still talking about ice cream here? Usagi shook her head. "I'm young still; I don't have to make decisions," she said. Mamoru looked at her and then focused straight ahead. There was a brief silence. Usagi, delving into her cone, felt akward, something that had become usual as of late. "I don't think anything is better than ice cream," she remarked, attempting to lighten the mood. Mamoru glanced at her and then smiled slightly. "Maybe one thing." "What's that?" Usagi asked. He remained smirking and turned his focus back to his cone. "What is it, Mamo-chan?" she asked again. He shrugged and his sly smile deepened. "Hey, no fair! Tell me!" she pleaded. Suddenly, the smirk seemed to fade away and Mamoru just stared ahead. Usagi saw him swallow. The sticky sweetness of the ice cream filled every corner of her mouth and made her feel nauseaus. She wanted to know what Mamoru was talking about and, more important, what had happened to make him turn so serious. He had always been mysterious to her but never this...this...secretive, this reserved. Mamoru was obviously thinking things that he couldn't tell her. But what? Did they have to do with her and Seiya? Usagi analyzed their whole conversation for any references to Seiya but she found none. What was going on? Usagi passed by a trash can and chucked her cone inside, the vanilla scoop uneaten. ******** "Happy Birthday dear Usagi...Happy Birthday to you!!!!" sang the trio in perfect harmony. Everyone in the crowded restaurant burst into applause including the three girls and one other not-so-amused guy at the table. Taiki, Yaten, and Seiya bowed to the delight of the other diners and quickly took their seats. Usagi was blushing but enjoyed it nonetheless as Seiya kissed her on the cheek. Ami, Mako, and Minako's eyes were starry as they gazed at Taiki and Yaten. Mamoru was trying so hard to maintain the saccharine smile on his face that he thought his cheeks would crack. "Thanks, guys," Usagi whispered to her boyfriend and his brothers. "And now," exclaimed Minako "It's time for presents!!" She pulled a brightly wrapped box out from under her chair and presented it proudly to Usagi. "From the three of us," she proclaimed. Eyes dancing, Usagi ripped off the wrapping paper and the lid to a medium-sized box. She gasped and carefully reached into it and discovered a hand-blown glass perfume bottle. Pink and purple swirled delicately through the smooth glass. Usagi was captivated. "Thank you so much everyone," she said. "It's beautiful." The girls smiled. "Here, Usagi-chan," said Makoto producing a blue bag with green tissue paper. "Rei-chan told us to give this to you. She says she's thinking of you while up in the mountains." Usagi smiled, opened the bag, and saw that Rei had bought her the shirt she had been fawning over for a month. "Yes!" she squealed. "Just what I wanted!" "And now, mine," pronounced Seiya as he handed Usagi a small box wrapped in cream paper with a gold bow around it. Makoto, Ami, and Minako sucked in their breaths at the same time. This was gonna be good, they all knew it. Just the right size for a nice piece of expensive jewlery. Mamoru glared at Seiya as he handed Usagi the box. The lovestruck gaze she cast towards him was enough to make Mamoru's blood boil. "Thank you, Seiya," she whispered, when he placed the palm-sized box in her hand. Usagi's heart pounded. The box was the right size and weight for something really...spectacular. Diamonds, or gold, maybe even her favorite, pearls! The thought was too exhilirating as Usagi carefully undid the creases of the paper. Unfolding it, she saw the gleaming of... A tape case. Her heart plummeted into her shoes. Ripping off the rest of the paper, Usagi saw that it was definitely a tape! A tape! Not a bracelet, or earrings, or a necklace! A tape! How not spectacular was that! "Oh..." she said. "Odango, that's my-" Usagi felt her eyes welling up with tears as she started coughing, interrupting Seiya in mid-sentence. "Excuse me...I've got to get some fresh air ." Getting up so quickly that the chair almost knocked over, Usagi ran from the room. "I hope she's not choking..." Ami said. Choking, no. Mamoru had seen that look on her face. It was subtle enough to have whizzed by them but he knew when Usagi was disappointed. He had seen that look in her eyes so many times before...mostly back in high school whenever he opened his mouth. Pushing his chair out, Mamoru excused himself and rushed out to where he had seen Usagi leave. Exiting the posh restaurant, he looked right and left yet saw no one. He walked over to the right in search of his friend. Hearing quiet crying, he figured he was close. "Usa," he called. "I hear you. Where are you?" More crying in addition to some sniffling. "Usa?" "What?" she answered. "Where are you?" "Over here, in the back," she said. Mamoru noticed a small corner of the building where the plumbing and electrical equipment was. Stepping in, he saw the black toes of Usagi's shoes. "Usa, what are you doing back here?" he asked. "Oh, Mamo-chan," she sobbed. "You saw what he gave me, right? A tape! He's been my boyfriend for a few months, not someone who I just met off the side of the street!" Mamoru found a space on the wall next to Usagi. Inside, he was jumping for joy. Yes, Usagi, you just let out all of those angry feeling against that snot-nosed idiot. But he had to appear sympathetic. This was Usagi, after all. "I'm sure he didn't know any better, Usa. He must not have very much common sense." But not sympathetic. Usagi sniffled. "But...but...he's normally so rational...and caring...and-" "But obviously not when it matters most to you," interrupted Mamoru. Wiping her eyes, Usagi looked down, remaining silent. "Here," Mamoru said, pulling something out of his coat pocket. "I was saving this for later but I think you need the cheering up." It was a tiny, square box with simple red wrapping paper, no bow. She unwrapped it slowly. Wrapping paper uncovered, Usagi now felt the soft black velvet against her fingertips. She opened the lid. "Oh, Mamo-chan," she breathed, placing one hand against her mouth. Stuck fast inside the box were a pair of pearl earrings about the size of small peas. To Usagi, they were so flawless that they looked like a work of art. Her reaction made Mamoru's heart bubble with satisfaction. "Mamo-chan, they're gorgeous! I...I don't know what to say exactly...this is too much." "Please, Usagi," Mamoru insisted. "You gave me a party and a painting for my birthday...these earrings are nothing compared to those." She looked up at him, eyes still glassy, nose red, but lips upturned calmly in a grateful smile. Oh, those lips! With their soft scarlet coloring and graceful arch and full lower lip. They seemed so tender...so...completely kissable. "They're something to me. You're the greatest, you know that, Mamo-chan?" she said. "I'll wear them and think of you." She stared back into the box and then, sighing, rested her head against her friend's shoulder. Mamoru thought his sensations were going into overdrive. The way she had gazed at him, the curve of her lips, the clean smell of her hair...The things she could make him feel! The way the night sky changed from darkness and stars to a masterpiece of Creation when she was with him. Had his heart ever felt this full? "What am I going to do?" sighed Usagi. It took Mamoru a few seconds to find his missing voice. "Huh?" "About Seiya," she replied. Mamoru's mood soured a bit. "Sometimes I think that him and I are on different wavelenghts, you know?" murmured Usagi. Mamoru remained quiet. "His gift was-" "Usagi!" called a familiar voice. Usagi looked out. "Seiya!" Mamoru could have punched Seiya in the jaw. What was he doing here spoiling their moment? Seiya pushed his way into the narrow space and Mamoru was forced back onto the sidewalk. "Usagi, please, don't be angry with me!" pleaded Seiya. "It's not what you think." Usagi looked away indignantly. Supressing a smile, Mamoru thought: "Usagi! I want you to listen to the tape!" Seiya said, pulling out a small tape player from his coat pocket. "It's...it's the first song on the new CD. We finished recording it yesterday. I...I dedicated it to you." When Mamoru saw the transformation on Usagi's face from anger to a pathetic, lovestruck daze, he thought he would be sick. "For me?" Usagi asked. "Yes," replied Seiya, staring directly into her eyes. "Listen." He popped the tape into the recorder and pressed the "play" button. "Nagareboshi he- remake- piano version," said a voice. "Song one on the Three Lights' 'Searching' CD." Almost instantly, the sound of soft chords and arpeggios of a piano filled the space. Usagi heard the harmonized "ahs" of the background vocalists, presumably Taiki and Yaten. Then Seiya's voice singing the melody, soft and low: "Kimi wa istumo Kagayiteta Egao hitostu.." A remade version of "Nagareboshi he," their hit song, just for her! Usagi had never felt so honored. This whole display was making Mamoru sick. Obviously, Usagi was not feeling the same way. Tears were running down her cheeks. "Search for your love Sora no suishoo* wo.." "Seiya," Mamoru heard Usagi whisper. "I'm so sorry for acting like a spoiled child. This...this is the best birthday gift ever." The best!?! What about his earrings! They cost a lot more than that dumb tape! "I'm glad, Odango. Happy Birthday," he murmured back. Mamoru saw his eyes were very liquidy. thought Mamoru. "I love you, Seiya," Usagi said. Mamoru raised his eyebrows in surprise. What had she just said? He must have heard right because there they were, noses two inches apart, forehead to forehead, staring directly into each other's eyes. Two sick lovebirds. If ever Mamoru had felt such a plethora of emotions, it was now. He felt burning jealousy for Seiya. God, to have Usagi's devotion like that. He felt utter disillusion for ever thinking Usagi might change her mind and fly back to him. He felt embarassed for trying to make Usagi care for him. And he felt rage. Rage at Seiya for ever waltzing into her life and disrupting things. And he felt a searing anger towards Usagi who had let him do it. She had betrayed their friendship. Disgusted, Mamoru turned and strode away. Usagi didn't even notice. ******** Rain pitter-pattered on the window of Usagi's bedroom as she sat at her desk writing yet another story in her spiral notebook. Seiya laid on her bed, humming some new song he had just finished writing. Searching for the right word, Usagi tapped her pen against her chin and gazed out of the window. "Penny for your thoughts?" Seiya asked. Usagi looked at him and smiled. "What's another word for 'wrong?'" "Wrong? Uhh...mistaken...decieved...I don't know. Why?" Usagi just shook her head. "It's nothing," she replied, focusing back onto her paper. Seiya shrugged and sat up on her pink bed. He began inspecting her things. He picked up a picture frame by her bedside. It was a snapshot of her and Mamoru in the park, laughing. "When was this taken?" he asked his girlfriend. Glancing up, Usagi saw the picture and smiled. "Last summer. At this baseball game in the park." Seiya gazed at the picture. "It's funny," he said. "Funny? Why?" replied Usagi, placing her pen down. "Well, I didn't know Mamoru smiled." Usagi grinned and shook her head. "He smiles. A lot, actually. But just not..." "But, what?" Again, Usagi shook her head. "Nothing." "You don't have to say it, Odango," Seiya said. "I know you were going to say 'But not when I'm around,' right?" Smiling, Usagi replied "You know me too well. But, really, Seiya, you shouldn't be offended by him. He's a very...difficult person to get along with." "And you would know?" inquired Seiya. Usagi laughed genuinely then. "Oh, boy, would I know! Let me tell you a little secret. I used to despise Mamo-chan!" Seiya raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe that." "But it's true! Ask Minako-chan or Ami-chan or Mako-chan. In high school, Mamo-chan and I were arch-rivals." "So, when did you have a change of mind?" Seiya asked. "A change of heart really. Mamo-chan gave me that," she answered pointing to the crystal moon that hung from the top of her window so that it could catch the light. "To apologize for everything. I realized what a dolt I was being and it's been great ever since." Staring at the moon crystal, Seiya commented "It's nice." "Don't worry, Seiya," Usagi said, going over to him and placing her hand on his shoulder. "It takes a while for Mamo-chan to warm up. But he really is a great guy." Seiya shook his head. "I don't think him and I will ever be friends." Usagi looked hurt. "Why do you say that, Seiya?" "Because it's true. Listen, Usagi, it's different with him and I. I have somthing that he...forget it." "No, Seiya," insisted Usagi. "Finish what you were going to say." "It's not important," he said. Usagi, about to open her mouth in protest, suddenly heard the doorbell. Getting up from her chair, she gazed quickly at Seiya who was attempting to avoid all eye contact. "...he wants," thought Seiya. He knew it was true. From the few times he had actually been in the same room with Usagi and Mamoru, he knew that Mamoru cared for Usagi a lot more than a friend should. Seiya saw it in the way his eyes lingered on her. He also saw it in the way Mamoru treated him: the sarcasm, the glares, the frigid demeanor. Seiya knew almost certainly that Mamoru loathed him. Did Usagi know? Probably not. In her eyes, Mamoru's coldness was just another obstacle to overcome. If she had done it, than anyone else could. Well, it was easy to say when the hurdle in the middle of your path loved you. "Hey! You're soaked!" Seiya heard Usagi exclaim from the foyer. "I know. I was at school for a while, got caught in this storm, and decided to seek refuge with you," said a deep, resonating voice. A bitter taste filled Seiya's mouth. He knew that voice. Arising from the bed and peeking through the door, Seiya had a perfect view of Usagi and Mamoru, who was drenched with rain. The bitterness was soon accompanied by an overwhelming jealousy. Usagi had brought him a towel from the closet, wrapped it around him, and then pushed the damp hair from Mamoru's eyes. "You're gonna catch cold, Mamo-chan," Usagi scolded playfully while he smiled down at her. Mamo-chan. Usagi had no cute little name for Seiya, her boyfriend, but she had one for Mamoru, of course. Seiya thought. Deciding that he needed time away from this situation, he grabbed his jacket to leave. As he swung it around his shoulders, he accidentaly knocked Usagi's notebook from the desk. Stooping to pick it up, he happened to read what was on one of the pages. It was a conversation between two people. Seiya could tell it was a story. And an excellent one at that. Had Usagi written this? He was so engrossed that he flipped the page and continued reading. "...in my room," he heard Usagi say, her voice growing louder as she approached the room. Seiya quickly shut the cover and placed the notebook back on the desk. Just then, Usagi entered with Mamoru trailing behind her. "Mamoru-san," he nodded. Mamoru nodded back, saying nothing. "Uh, Usagi, I'm uh, going to go, okay?" Seiya stammered. "So soon?" Usagi said, disappointment apparent in her tone. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll call you later okay," he said. "Alright." Kissing her on the cheek, he glanced at Mamoru one last time before exiting the room. ******** Summer's carefree airs faded like the leaves on the trees. Usagi thought, as she walked through the university to register. When she approached the long lines by the registration office, she sighed. But, then, skimming through the crowd of people, shw saw... "Rei-chan!" Usagi called when she saw her friend standing in line to register at school. "Usagi!" Rei said with surprise. Running over to Rei, Usagi threw her arms around her friend. "I miised you!" she squealed. Laughing, Rei replied "I missed you, too. I tried calling you two days ago when I got back but you weren't home!" "Yeah, I was out with Seiya," Usagi said, giggling. "Yeah? How have things been since your last letter?" Rei asked. "Oh, sooooo good! He finished the CD so now we'll have a lot more time together! And...he's gonna try to convince his brothers to re-release my 'Nagareboshi he.'" "Wow, that's too cool! I was green with envy when I read how he serenaded you at your birthday! What a great guy!" Usagi sighed. "Yeah, I know..." "And what about Mamo-chan?" Usagi sighed again, but this time it was in frustration. She shook her head. "It hasn't gotten better." "He's still distant?" Rei asked sympathetically. "Yup, but it's gotten weird. He's so erratic. One second he'll be cold and mean and the next he'll be laughing and warm." Rei smiled. "You've got to let me meet this guy." "I'm sure you will eventually," Usagi said. "Then you'll see what I'm talking about! But no more problems. I have a good feeling about this year. Things are gonna happen for me!" "Well, it's good that you think that way, Usagi," Rei exclaimed. "Next!" called a man behind the counter. Rei's turn. Usagi waved goodbye to her friend and went to take her place in line. Yes, she was sure of it...this was gonna be the Year of the Rabbit for her! ******** Usagi sat in the living room of her apartment with Ami, who was studying, and Minako, who was painting her nails a bright pink. The radio was playing in the background while Makoto went around with a feather duster, cleaning dust out of the most obscure places. "I'm bored," sighed Minako. "Who wants to go out?" Usagi smiled. "Sorry, Minako-chan, I've got to finish up this paper for my History class." "I've got a lot of studying to catch up on," Ami replied. The cheery beat of a new song filled the room. The DJ announced the song but nobody heard because Mako began talking over it. "Well, if you're so bored Mina, you should help me clean the place," she said. "After all, you make most of the mess!" "I do not!" Minako retorted. "I resent that-" "Shh!!" Usagi suddenly said. Everybody shut their mouths and stared at her inquisitively. Looking forward, Usagi was concentrating very hard. "Usagi...?" Ami asked. "Shh..." Usagi replied, hopping up, running to the radio, and blasting the volume. The upbeat instrumentals of brass, drums, an electric guitar riff, and small chimes sounded loudly. Suddenly, the voices began singing. "Ahhhh!!!" squealed Usagi, jumping up and down. "I knew it!! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!" "Usagi-chan, what is it?" Mako asked. Bouncing up and down, Usagi replied "I've got to call him!!" She raced to the phone, dialed the number frantically and waited. "What is it, Usagi-chan?" Ami asked. "Seiya's new song!!" she screamed. "Can you believe-oh, Yaten? Hey, it's Usagi! Turn on the radio to 103.7!!" She paused, eyes sparkling. Then, Ami, Mako, and Minako heard shouts over the line. Again, Usagi began squealing. "I know, Seiya!! It's so great!...I know!...I can't believe it either!" The song finished and the suave vouce of the DJ came over the airwaves. "That was the brand-spanking-new soon-to-be-hit-single "Todokanu Omoi" from the Three Light's new album due out in a few months. Great, huh? Stay tuned..." Usagi flipped off the radio and began chattering excitedly over the phone. "Oh, Seiya, I'm so proud of you...tonight?...nothing... sure...okay, we'll celebrate...okay, I love you, too...bye." Usagi placed the phone back onto the reciever, stared at her eager friends, and then all together, they erupted in squeals of delight. ********* That was in late September. By mid-October, Usagi was definitely not as happy. Outside of school, she had only seen Seiya four times. His nights were spent in the recording studio cleaning up the CD or promoting the CD in one television show or another. And tonight was no exception. One night, Usagi emerged from her room teary-eyed. Sniffling, she trudged to the kitchen. Minako, from her reclined position in front of the TV, could hear quiet sobs coming from the kitchen. She switched off the TV and went to see what was wrong. Standing just outside of the kitchen, Minako saw Usagi, head buried in her arms, as she wept against the counter. "Usagi-chan, what's wrong?" she asked, placing her arms around her friend's shoulders. Usagi only wailed harder. "Shhh, Usagi-chan, calm down, shhh." Minako stroked her hair in an attempt to soothe her. As Usagi's tears subsided, she wiped her wet cheeks with shaking fingers. "Thanks," she mumbled. "Usagi-chan, tell me. What's the matter?" Minako asked. Shaking her head, Usagi looked away. "I feel like everyone's deserting me," she said, her voice cracking a little. "What do you mean?" Minako asked. Usagi wiped her nose on the back of her hand. "Well, I supposed to go out with Seiya tonight but...he cancelled again. He said there was a last minute problem with a song on the CD and that he needed to go fix it in the studio. This is the millionth time he's done this! I can't stand being alone, he knows that!" Fresh tears fell from Usagi's eyes and Minako pulled her into an embrace. "Oh, Usagi-chan, it will all be over once the CD comes out. Then he'll have more time to be with you..." "No," Usagi answered. "It's not just that." "Then, what else is it?" Usagi pulled away and bit her trembling lip. "I...I called Mamo-chan right after...cause I was so upset. And, you know, he's always been my voice of reason...But...but...I told him what happened and he started saying all this stuff...that I'm doing to him...what Seiya's doing to me!" Usagi was crying again. "That I'm deserting him! I tried to tell him I wasn't...but he kept telling me I was a hypocrit! Well, we got into a huge arguement...and he hung up on me! Between him and Seiya, I feel so alone. Minako-chan, what am I going to do?" Minako only shake her head. "I don't know, Usagi-chan." "Seiya doesn't have time for me anymore and Mamo-chan is acting so defensive and I don't know why! It feels like I'm losing the two most important guys in my life!" Covering her face in her hands, Usagi sobbed bitterly for a few minutes. Minako held her friend close because that was really all she could do. Finally, Usagi regained her composure. "Thank you for listening, Minako-chan," Usagi said. She let out a long breath. "I think I need some fresh air. I'm going on a walk, okay?" Minako nodded. Like one in a daze, Usagi shuffled out of the kitchen. A few seconds later, Minako heard the door to the apartment open and close. Shaking her head, Minako returned to the living room. she thought. Yes, Minako knew. She had known for a while that Mamoru longed for his best friend in a more-than-friendly way. Having a knack for these things, Minako saw it in the way he looked at her, the way he talked about her, and the way Usagi talked about how he acted towards her. Minako thought. Just as Minako was about to plop back down on the couch, the doorbell rang. "That was the quickest walk I've ever seen," Minako muttered. She opened the door, expecting to see Usagi, but instead there stood Mamoru. "Mamoru-san, what are you doing here?" "Hi, Minako-chan. Can I come in?" he asked. Minako saw that his eyes were practically boiling over with worry. "Sure," she replied, allowing him to enter. "She's out, you know." Mamoru spun around. "She is?" "Yeah. She's pretty upset," Minako replied. Mamoru's shoulders sagged. "She told you, huh?" Nodding, she answered "Yeah." Mamoru looked down and ran his hand through his hair. He sighed. "I don't know what to do anymore." Minako stared at him. "Tell her." Eyes wide, Mamoru looked at Minako. "What?" Minako laughed. "Mamoru-san, I've known you for a long time. You can't fool me. I know you love her." GLaring at Minako, Mamoru replied "I ..." He couldn't finish the sentence. "...love her? It's okay, Mamoru-san, you can say the word. It won't kill you." He remained silent and walked into the living room. "I can't tell her," he began quietly, sinking down to the sofa and propping his head up with his arms. "Why not?" Minako asked, following him. "She's crazy for Seiya. I bet Usa doesn't even have the faintest clue that...If I told her, she'd freak out. It would change everything and I'd lose her friendship. If I can't have her affections, than her respect and trust is the next best thing." Shaking her head, Minako had an obvious look of disagreement on her face. "But it's imbalanced! That's not how a friendship is supposed to operate. One person can't parade around under the guise of friendship and really be in love with the other person!" "Minako-chan, you don't understand..." Mamoru said. Minako stared at Mamoru for a long time before replying. "Do you remember the first day Usagi-chan and you met?" Mamoru nodded. "Of course." "And do you remember the moment just before she threw that soccer ball at your stomach?" He smiled, affirming Minako's question. "Well, I do too," she said. "There was that one moment, right before she hurled that ball into your stomach, when she was staring up at you and you down at her, both with the intensity of snipers. I saw it then. That energy passing between both of you. So constant and mutual. Almost like a conversation of a million words uttered in a millisecond." Mamoru stared at Minako, jaw agape. "I knew then..." Minako finished, smiling. Swallowing, Mamoru stood and nodded to Minako. "I'd better go. Thanks for your time." Minako smiled. "I hope you'll take what I told you into account." Already approaching the door, Mamoru glanced back at her. He nodded once and then opened the door and was gone. ******** "Are you excited, Seiya?" Usagi asked her boyfriend as she twirled the telephone cord in her finger. "Excited is an understatement," he answered on the other end of the line. "Our manager told us it's one of the most anticipated albums in the past ten years. Isn't that great?" "Incredible. I'm so proud of you. Hopefully, when it's out we can spend some more time together." Seiya sighed. "Yes, hopefully. I'm sorry I've been neglecting you, Odango. But, maybe this can make it up to you. How about some VIP tickets for you and your friends to the release part at Club Reality?" "Really?!?" screeched Usagi. "I've heard so much about that club! Will other stars be there?" "Tons." Usagi squealed at the other end of the line. "When is it?" "Next Friday night." "Oh, wow, this is sooo incredible!" Seiya laughed. "Odango, did you really think I would throw I party and not invite you?" Giggling, Usagi replied "I didn't even know you were having one! Ooohh, now I have to find something great to wear! I'm so excited!" "Well, Odango, I've gotta go. Taiki's giving me a look that says 'Get off the phone now.'" "Okay. I love you, Seiya," Usagi said. "Me too. I'll call you later. Bye." "Bye." Usagi hung up the phone, lept up, and happily began dancing around her room chanting "I'm going to Seiya's party at Club Reality!" ******* Sitting in the black stretch limo, Mamoru wondered how Usagi had convinced him to come to this stupid thing anyways. She had called him, babbling incessantly about VIP tickets that Seiya had given her and would he like to come? Mamoru's first reaction (the one he have listened to) was a hearty No! He detested the party scene, prefering a quiet night at home with a book. But even more, he detested Seiya. It was for this exact reason he told Usagi he would come. At least with him there, he could keep a close eye out for Usagi. He glanced across to where his friend was sitting, chattering with Minako, Ami, and Mako. (Seiya wasn't coming with them thankfully. He had to be at the club early so he had reserved a limo.) God, wasn't she a vision? He had never seen her dressed so sophisticated before. A silver spaghetti-strapped top complemented the snug grey skirt she wore. Chunky, grey shoes were on her feet. Around her neck, was a thin silver chain with a pattern of silver and diamond beads along the front. And her hair. It was massed on top of her head in messy ringlets, some falling down her neck and face. Amazing, Mamoru thought. When the limo stopped in front of a neon-lit building with loud music pounding, all four girls squealed a little. The limo door opened and Mamoru allowed Ami, Mako, and Minako out first. Just before Usagi was about to pile out of the limo, Mamoru touched her arm gently. "Seiya's going to have to fight off all of the men who'll be wanting to dance with you," he said. The corners of Usagi's lips turned up and she blushed. "Will you be one of them?" she asked before the chauffeur took her arms leading her out of the limo. Somewhat dazed, Mamoru tumbled out of the limo and was hot on the girls' tails. They walked down a roped off pathway, with screaming girls on each side. Bright flashes of cameras went off in their eyes. Reporters flung questions at them but they were swallowed up in the hysteria. Usagi gazed around her. Wow, so this is what it was like to be famous. Not too shabby. The girls and Mamoru presented their VIP passes to the bouncer at the door. When he saw Usagi, he smiled and bowed. "Tsukino-san," he saw in a deep voice. "From Seiya-san." The bouncer snapped his fingers and a smaller man ran out from the dark club with a bouquet of red roses. Cradling the stems in her arms, Usagi read the attactched card: Odango: Can't wait to see you. Thanks for always being there for me. I love you, Seiya Usagi sighed and Ami, Minako, and Makoto huddled around her "oohing" and "ahing." Eventually, the were ushered into the club. Bright lights flashed everywhere and music throbbed through the air. Usagi breathed it all in. She had never been to a club, much less a club where she was a VIP. "If we lose each other," Mamoru hollered over the music. "We'll meet right back here at 3 am to get the limo." The girls nodded. Then, Minako screamed. "Oh, my God!!! There's Minamoto Megumi! And Ito Yuri!! I've to get their autograph!" And she was off. Ami said she was going to get something to drink and dragged Mako with her. So, it was just Mamoru and Usagi. "I wonder how I'm going to find Seiya with all these people," screamed Usagi. Mamoru shrugged. "Let's get to the VIP lounge. Maybe he's there." Pushing their way through hordes of people dancing and smoking and mingling, Usagi and Mamoru eventually made it to the less noisy VIP room. Usagi's eyes went starry. Almost everyone there was a celebrity! When she walked in, they stared, aware of someone that was not part of the clique. It daunted Usagi. "They're staring," whispered Usagi. "I feel out of place." "You have the same right to be here as they do," Mamoru whispered back. Suddenly, someone grabbed her arm. Usagi spun around. It was Yaten. "Yaten-kun!" cried Usagi. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you." "Seiya will be out in a minute," he replied, somewhat coldly. (But Usagi was accustomed to his iciness) "He's taking care of some last minute details with our manager." Usagi nodded. "Yaten-kun, what should I do here? I feel akward." Looking around at all of the guests, Yaten suddenly announced: "Hey, everybody! This is Seiya's girlfriend, Tsukino Usagi, and her friend, Chiba Mamoru!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared. Blushing furiously, Usagi was so embarassed that Yaten had singled her out. But, then she heard recognizing "oh's" and "So, that's Seiya-kun's girlfriend." "Hi, nice to meet you," greeted one tall, extremely gorgeous blonde who was a famous model. Usagi shook her hand. Then the woman grazed her eyes up and down Mamoru. Seductively holding out her hand, the woman continued: "Mamoru was it? I'm Naomi. nice to meet you." As if he were a pro at brushing elbows with stars, Mamoru held out his hand and shook hers. "Nice to meet you too." He smiled at this amazing person who had taken an extreme interest in him. All the while, Usagi stared at this spectacle, jaw agape. "Come," said Naomi. "There's some friends of mine who I know would to meet you." Entwining her arm in Mamoru's, Naomi whisked him off to a corner where four other models and actresses were laughing. Usagi glared as Mamoru let himself be charmed by that model! Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her hand and realized she had been clenching her roses so tight that one of the thorns had dug into her flesh. Her boiling rage was forgotten when her eyes were suddenly covered by the palm of somebody's hand. A deep, smooth voice murmured in her ear: "Guess who?" Whirling around, Usagi could recognize that voice anywhere. "Seiya!" Wrapping his arm around her waist, he pulled her close to him and kissed her on the forehead. "I see you got my roses," he said. "Yeah. They're gorgeous. Thanks," she replied. She felt the wound in her hand throb. "So what do you think?" he asked. "Of the party?" Usagi said. "Well, I just got here so I'm not too sure." "I'll give you some time to think about it. I wanted to ask you if-" "Seiya-kun!" someone called from the other end of the room. Gazing past Usagi, Seiya saw an old friend. "Hey, Nozomu-kun!! Usagi, I'll be right back." And then he was gone. Usagi watched him talking and laughing with his friend. Then, a girl with long teal hair came up and put her arm around Seiya's shoulders and gave him a peck on the cheek. Usagi identified her as a soap-opera star. Trudging over to an empty table, Usagi threw the roses down next to her and sighed. This wasn't turning out to be much fun. Her starstruck friends had deserted her, Mamoru was off in the corner flirting with supermodels, and Seiya was ignoring her, for a change. >From where he was sitting, Mamoru spied Usagi slumped down at a table, alone. Hadn't Seiya just been with her? From the look on her face, it seemed Usagi detested her condition. She was plucking the petals off of one of her roses. One of the models he was sitting with giggled loudly in his ear. It almost made him nauseaus. He wanted to scream to them: "Can't you talk about something else besides makeup or money?!?" "Excuse me," he said, getting off of the sofa and striding to where Usagi was. "Hey, pretty lady, is this seat taken?" Usagi peered up at him and a warm smile melted onto her lips. "It is now." Mamoru scooted the chair out and sat down next to her. "You don't seem to be having a nice time." Shrugging, Usagi crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I'd like to spend some more time with my boyfriend. But he's off socializing." Then she sighed. "But...I shouldn't complain. After all this is his night and he have other friends." A disgusted Mamoru wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her. He wanted to scream "Any man who claims to love but who leaves you stranded like this doesn't deserve you!" But he swallowed the words like an oversized mouthful of lemons. Usagi wouldn't like it if he spoke unkindly of the demi-god, Seiya. Instead, he stood and offered his arm: "Let's get out of this stuffy room and down to the dance floor where we can find some fun." Arms still crossed, Usagi peered up at him with those sparkling eyes. She uncrossed her arms and stood. "Alright. You're on." Mamoru escorted Usagi out of the VIP room that reeked with vanity and cigarette smoke and swished her onto the dance floor where the music seemed to pulsate in their ears. thought Usagi. It was a few minutes later when Usagi heard her name being called. She turned around to see Minako, Makoto, and Ami pushing their way in the crowd to get to her. "Where have you been?" Mako shouted over the music. "We've been looking everywhere for you?" "In the VIP room," Usagi responded. "Minako-chan, you'd love it up there. There tons of autograph opportunities." Minako squealed a little. "Should we go?" suggested Ami Grabbing her arm, Minako replied "I'm hurt that you even had to ask that question, Ami-chan. Come on we're going. See you around Usagi-chan, Mamoru-san!" They waved and then were consumed by the crowd again. The song changed and Usagi danced some more. When the music stopped, she realized just how long she had been going at it and how thirsty she was. Excited whispers traveled through the crowd. And then, that first intro note of "Nagareboshi he" blasted on the speakers and, knowing what was to follow, the mass of people screamed wildly. >From an elevated stage appeared three spotlights each with a Three Light posing in one. When a red beam of light showcasing Seiya flashed wildly, Usagi, much to Mamoru's sheer joy, just stood there, staring upwards indifferently. The lights began to sing but the vocals were drowned out by the cheers of the fans. As the middle instrumentals started, Yaten spoke into the microphone: "Thank you everyone for coming tonight! Are you having fun?" The shrieks of delight proved an affirmative. "Good," said Taiki. "Because in a minute, we will be premiering one of our favorite songs off of our second album. You might recognize it. It's 'Nagareboshi he' the remix. The fans went wild. Then Seiya spoke: "I especially wanted to re-do this song. It's a softer version but with more romance. It's dedicated to the love of my life, Tsukino Usagi. Odango, wherever you are out here, I love you and thank you for all of the support you've given me. You truly are my Princess. I hope you all like the song." The soft drums and melodious piano reverberated through the room. Mamoru gazed down at Usagi and he thought his head would swell like a sponge in water and burst. Her face was rigid, unsmiling. Turning up to Mamoru, she croaked: "Let's dance." She rested her head on his shoulder and exhaled. The music coarsed though his head. Mamoru might have liked the song, had it not been sung by the only person in the world he had ever wanted to violently mangle. The melodious arpeggios and chords of a piano were accompanied by airy violins. Background vocals, belted out by Taiki and Yaten, harmonized with Seiya who was singing lead. He crooned the lyrics, his voice melting in and out of notes like warm water over rocks. All the while, Mamoru could feel Usagi pressed against him. She said nothing. "Usa, are you okay?" Mamoru whispered down into her. Her arms tightened around his neck. "I will be," she whispered back. Closing his eyes, Mamoru breathed the atmosphere in. He wished that the two of them could be alone. Then, like Minako had advised, he would tell her. And she would realize. And they would be happy. And- A tapping on Mamoru's shoulder broke his dream. He turned his head and Usagi looked up from his shoulder. Standing behind him, smiling sheepishly, was Seiya. "Uh..Mamoru-san, can I dance with my girlfriend?" Seiya asked politely. Mamoru glared at Seiya for a moment and then glanced back down at Usagi. She was looking straight at Seiya, her lips in a frown, her eyes two shattered marbles. "No, actually, you can't," Mamoru snapped. Seiya's mouth dropped open. "Well, I think that maybe I'm entitled to, considering she my girlfriend and are my guest," he sneered. Mamoru felt Usagi release his shoulders. "It's okay, Mamo-chan, I'll-" "No," Mamoru commanded, tightening his grip around Usagi's waist. Then to Seiya: "You can't just run back to her when you feel like it. You're too consumed in your star-struck universe to know it, but she have feelings, too." Usagi pushed herself away from Mamoru. "Mamo-chan, it's okay," she muttered, as to not worsen the scene that was already unfolding around them. "What do you mean?" Seiya yelled, causing a few stares. "I mean that you igore her and make her feel like the dirt on your shoe. Then you get up there and say how much you love her. Is that supposed to make everything better?" "Mamo-chan!" Usagi scolded. "I'm a busy man!" Seiya argued. "I'm sorry if I don't trail after her like a sick dog. Maybe you should take the hint!" Mamoru froze. Had Usagi understood that? He gazed down at her while she gazed up at him. Her eyes asked: "What does he mean by that?" Mamoru had no answer. "I don't need this," Mamoru said, pushing his way past Seiya. "Yeah, now look who's running away," Seiya taunted. Stopping in his tracks, Mamoru felt his cheeks burn with rage. It seemed his skin was on fire. "Seiya..." Usagi pleaded. Suddenly, Mamoru spun on his heel, grabbed Seiya by the collar, and stared right into his terrified eyes. A terrified hush overcame the mass of people now gathered around the idol, his girlfriend, and the other man who was very angry. "Don't ever accuse me of running away from her," Mamoru threatened. "Mamo-chan," Usagi yelled, attempting to pry the two away from each other. Then, Seiya pushed Mamoru off of him, causing her friend to sprawl out against the circle of horrified onlookers. "Seiya, stop!" she yelled. But it was of no avail. Mamoru bounded back up and punched the daylights out of Seiya's nose. The crowd screamed. Seiya was shocked but recovered quickly and threw a punch at Mamoru. It met his jaw. Rubbing his aching mouth, Mamoru glared at Seiya and then charged. The crowd's screams were deafening. Usagi, throwing herself in the middle, desperatly tried to break up the brawl. "Stop it, stop it!" she screamed. Mamoru and Seiya realized at the same time what they were doing and how insane it must have seemed. They broke away from each ohter, panting and bruised. Mamoru wiped away blood from his lip, Seiya rubbed his arm. Taiki, Yaten, and a massive bodyguard broke through the crowd. "Seiya, what's going on?" Taiki yelled. Seiya remained sneering at Mamoru. "Come on, go get cleaned up," Yaten said, taking his brother's arm and dragging him off somewhere. Usagi stood in the middle, humiliated. Whispers went up through the crowd. "We need to talk," she shouted at Mamoru. Taking hold of his shirt sleeve, she pulled him thorugh the mass of people and out of the door. The December air stung Mamoru's nostrils when it hit his face. Never releasing his sleeve, Usagi stormed over to a quieter side of the building. She turned and faced him with angry tears in her eyes. "Just what were you trying to prove in there?" she shouted. "I have never been so embarassed in my life!" "Hey, I wasn't the only one throwing punches," Mamoru shouted back. "Yeah, but you instigated the whole thing, Mamoru!" she yelled, as her voice wavered under the pressure of crying. Upon hearing Usagi call him his real name and with the biting tone she used, Mamoru almost collapsed into tears himself. "God, I expected so much more from you!" Usagi said, finally breaking down. The sight of those tears running down her cheeks sickened Mamoru. He hadn't seen her cry since high school. "Why me?" he managed to get out. "Expectation only leads to disappointment." Usagi sniffled. "What's wrong, Mamo-chan? It's been so different between you and I. What changed?" Mamoru stared at her and remained mute. "What?" she pleaded. "Please tell me. Did I offend you? Are you mad because I spend more time with Seiya?" "It's not that..." Mamoru replied, shaking his head. "Then what? Is it because you hate Seiya?" Usagi asked softly. "I don't hate Seiya!" Mamoru erupted, making Usagi jump with shock. Upon seeing this, Mamoru made the effort to soften his voice. "I don't. I hate the idea of him and you together. That's what I hate." Usagi's face crumpled and her lip trembled. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why have you been lying to me all this time?" "I wasn't lying. It's hard, Usa. How am I supposed to tell you that I want to rip out Seiya's guts whenever I see him? Do you know how you'd react? You'd look at me with that face you have on now, like I fished out your insides with a rusty hook!" "But...at least I'd know the truth," she murmured. "Sometimes the truth isn't the best thing to know," Mamoru insisted. "I don't understand, Mamo-chan," she cried, her voice cracking. "Why...? I thought you would be happy for me. Why can't you accept that I love Seiya?" Shaking his head, Mamoru glanced up into the night sky, heavy with clouds. Mamoru exhaled, his breath steaming off into the night. "I...I don't know," he said. Usagi became angry then. "Well, figure it out. How can I be your friend if you can't accept Seiya?" "Your friend..." Mamoru repeated. "Yes! Tell me, Mamo-chan!" "It isn't that easy," he replied. "Why?" She folded her arms and waited for an answer. "Because..." he stammered. "I...well..I..." He didn't have to search for the words. They were there. But, he could just see Usagi's face when he said them. She was so naive...couldn't understand... "They're only words, Mamo-chan," Usagi coaxed. "What's so hard about saying them?" Mamoru stared at her with surprise. They only words. Then what was so hard with saying them? It wasn't the words, he decided. It was what went along with those words. The statements they formed that things. She stared at him and he knew he had to tell her then. He inhaled and began. "Usa...I...I care...for you," he said, staring straight at her. Usagi stared back at him. And then she smiled a little. "I care for you too Mamo-chan but-" "No, Usa..." he interrupted, shaking his head. So naive...He gazed into her questioning eyes, wishing that he could burn his meaning into her. "Not in the way you mean..." Mamoru saw it. Usagi cocked her head to the side, opened her mouth as if to reply, and then...the dawning of the light. The mouth remained opened, twisted into a horrified shape. Her eyes darted from his eyes to the ground. "What?" she aksed incredulously. Mamoru reached up to caress her cheekbone with his knuckle. That was his answer. Her response? She jerked away violently. "Mamo-chan...I...I can't believe..." she said. But, he could only gaze at her in rapture. Rapture. How a man taking his last breath looks at life. And, still, the terror molded her face into something Mamoru didn't wish to see. "Since-since when?" she stuttered. "A little under a year," he replied after a while. "A year" he saw her mouth. Whether she knew it or not, she was shaking her head slowly. The shock on her face growing more apparent. "Mamo-chan...how could you?" she spat. "What?" "How could you betray me like this?" Her eyes glistened with wetness. "Betray you?" he repeated. "Yes! How could you warp our friendship into something you I didn't want?" Yup, there it was. The vise on his heart. He could practically feel her nails digging into the tender flesh. "I never meant to betray you, Usa! I can't believe you're me for this! If this is anyone's fault it's yours!" "Mine?!?" she squelched. "Yeah! For...for...for being you!" God, that sounded stupid. "That's insane, Mamo-chan!" she cried. Mamoru looked away in disgust. "You don't think I know that? Do you think I'm all roses and sunshine over this? This has been eating away at me like a parasite, Usa! Everytime you mention Seiya, every date you inform me of, every present he gives you, every sigh you breathe, it makes me want to cry!" She gazed at him sadly. "I'm-I'm sorry. If I had known..." Looking at his shoes, Mamoru could only shake his head. Usagi took two steps towards him. "Mamo-chan," she said. She was standing close to him and he looked down at her. "Mamo-chan...I'm sorry. I didn't mean...I'm sorry." Mamoru looked back up into the sky. Thunder grumbled in the distance. His eyes burned from his tears. "Ever, Usa? Can you ever-?" Usagi felt nauseus. This wasn't happening. Her best friend was not telling her these things. This wasn't supposed to happen. She shook her head. Never. She couldn never care for him in the way he wanted her to. Mamoru's face wilted and she saw his lower lip tremble. Oh, God, was he going to cry? She had never seen him cry. The thought frightened her. she pleaded. "Mamo-chan," she said, taking hold of his arm. "Look at me." He looked away. Up at the sky. "Look at me," she repeated. Sideways at the street. "Fine then," she cried. "Please, don't let this change our friendship. I'm sorry about what I said before. You didn't betray me. I was being stupid. But, please, don't let this change what we have." "It changed, Usa!" he yelled. "How can I come over to your apartment? Sit in your room helping you with Chemistry when you I feel this way about you?" Tears blurred her vision, transforming the world into blobs of color. Thunder cracked overhead. Tiny drops of rain began falling on Usagi's skin. It was cold and she shivered. "Mamo-chan," she whimpered. He looked furious and disappointed. At her. "Please," she begged. "Usa, I can't accept a daisy when I've smelled a rose. And neither can you," he said firmly. "No, I can!" she sobbed, clutching his arm. "Mamo-chan, don't abandon this friendship. I'm sorry. We'll pretend this night never happened. Please...I'm sorry." He looked at her, tears dried up. A stony determination having taken their place. Shaking his head, Mamoru pulled his arm out of Usagi's grip. "Goodbye, Usagi," he said. Mamoru grazed her features, swallowed, and began striding away. He wrapped his arms around himself, shielding his body against the stinging rain that had begun to fall. The wind carried Usagi's tears towards his ears. But he just kept walking. * "Usagi!" she heard some one say. "Usagi!" Seiya ran up to her and put his arm around her. "I've been looking everywhere for you!" Usagi said nothing and remained staring at the street Mamoru had just disappeared down. "Usagi, I know I was wrong...you have every right to be mad at me. I'm so sorry," he said. Usagi still stared. She was glad it was raining. It masked her wet eyes. She nodded, indicating that she accepted Seiya's apology. "Come on inside," he insisted. "It's freezing out here." Usagi shook her head. "I want to go home." Seiya stared at her in surprise. "You want to go home? It's only one o' clock." "I don't care," she said, never peeling her eyes from that street. "Well, okay. The limo doesn't get here for another two hours, though." "Then I'll walk," Usagi said. Seiya held her arm. "No way. Look, I'll drive you home, alright? Anything to make tonight up to you." Usagi nodded and began walking back to the club. "I'll get my things and tell everyone." * Usagi heard the constant of the tires on the wet pavement. But that was all her senses picked up. In the darkness of Seiya's car, she slouched against the seat. Her head was leaning against the cool window and she stared blankly at the passing buildings. The emptiness of the streets, the streetlights reflected in the puddles, the darkened windows of houses and stores, everything was silent. "I really am sorry, Usagi," Seiya said suddenly, cutting thorugh the quiet. Usagi grunted and remained still. The words reverberated in her head. What did that mean? Goodbye for the night? Goodbye to what they had? Goodbye...forever? She felt her throat constricting with a captive sob. Holding her eyes in her hand, she attempted to shed her tears silently. Her shoulders shook. "Usagi?" Seiya aksed. "It isn't about you!" she exclaimed suddenly. The sting in her voice boomed in the car. She realized the harshness in her tone. "I'm...I'm sorry." Quiet. "Do you want to talk about it? Maybe I can help..." Seiya offered. Usagi turned her face more toward the scenery whizzing by. She shook her head no. "Did Mamoru-san say anything to you?" Seiya asked innocently. When he said his name, the indifferent way it left his lips, caused a twinge of hurt in her like the plucking of a leaf off of a tree. Like a child twirling the leaf in between his careless fingers and then releasing it. She could feel it sink down slowly, slowly to the waiting earth. "No, it..." she held back a torrent of tears in her eyes,"...he...he didn't...say anything...anything important." Before he could see the liquid leaking down the curve of her cheek, Usagi craned her neck away. The dark windows passed. The puddles on the street approached, broke and spilled aginst the windows, and then too, passed. And the brown leaves in the gutters were picked up by the rushing of the car, thrust into the air, and settled down onto the wet pavement once more. Stay tuned for Phase 3.