"So Strange You Are My Lover"
Chapter 3

AN's:  Eeps, sorry I'm late with this guys...finals crunch and
all y'know?
Hope ya like!!  I'm having waaaay too much fun writing
this story!  ;p

Thanks:  I have to send out a special thanks to Lady Spring
for writing me and inviting
me to post at her soooooo kawaii site: 
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Lights/3406
Arigato arigato arigato, and go see the site minna!

Disclaimers:  I just keep "borrowing" little details from the
series...the names...the romance.
....etc...please don't sue me?

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"I've, laid down love, for you.
And words,
Unravel before me,
Like water
Like clay

And I'm building what we are with trembling hands
I'm stumbling down this golden road, blinded by you
And it aches, to look it through

Oh perfect you
With your skin
Beneath my fingers
Beneath my body...

I reach for you without my.....love."
                                Silent Moon

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Darien sighed as he laid back in his chair, folding his hands
behind his head,
trying to look relaxed and unbothered as his cousin stared
wide eyed in shock at him from 
across the table.

"Don't you sigh at me Darien Chiba!  What do you mean? 
You...just...broke up with her?  Just 
like that?"

"Yes Rei, I just snapped my fingers and it was done!"  He
bit out sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"  She retorted,
then she softened, "I just meant that,
well, you were so serious about her.  What changed?  I
thought you were happy to have her
back."

"So did I...at first."  He said with genuine confusion in his
voice...and something else, a kind
of tragic insight not yet found.

She waited patiently for him to continue, encouraging him
with her eyes...for Rei could be 
very sensitive when she wanted.  And this was a serious
matter.  

"I...well I thought it was fate when she came back you
know.  And I really did care for her
when we studied together.  I always felt like Ann
understood me in some way no one else could.
And I just overlooked that she could be a little self-centered
sometimes.....and when she went
away and said she wanted to start her life over--without
me--I was devastated.  But when she
came home she was different, it was like all the little things
I used to let go were exaagerated.
We bickered constantly, but she still wanted to make it
work.  But I realized I didn't.  I don't 
know why, but I just knew it was over, and that nothing
could ever bring it back for me, and
and worst of all......I don't know if I ever really loved her--I
mean truly."
He finished quietly, as if it were the most horrible thing to
be uttered in the Universe.

Rei smiled, "Oh you goose!  You're always so dramatic! 
But you know, you can love someone
and then realize that it's not passionate love, or deep love or
even true love.  You were very
young when you fell in love with Ann.  How could you
have known it wasn't the real thing?"

"Because I should have just *known* Rei!  Gods!  Me of
all people!  I've been searching for it 
all my life!"

"That doesn't make you anymore prepared then the rest of
us dear."  

He frowned, but saw the funny side of her tone, "Cousin I
think you mock me!"

"Who me?  Mock you?"

He rolled his eyes at her and she laughed, sipping her tea,
"Don't worry!  I'm sure someday, you
will meet someone just as romantic as you are!"

He smiled but his eyes became distant, as though her were
thinking of something, "What about
someone who doesn't believe in love at all?"  He asked
vaguely, muttering it so she could 
barely hear.

~Ha!~ She thought, ~There's only one person I know that
doesn't believe in love and that's--~
Her thoughts froze abruptly, ~....Serena...~
An odd connection began to form in Rei's mind--though she
knew it was crazy.  She kept it
quiet but tested the waters a bit by saying aloud,
"There's only one person I know of that doesn't believe in
love!  You remember my friend 
Serena?"

Darien--unlike Serena--masked his feelings rather well and
managed to start only a fraction
at her name--but Rei noticed anyway.

"Yes.  She...doesn't?"  He asked, trying to sound indifferent.

"Mhmm."  She said both to him and herself, confirming...

"But she's married isn't she?"  He joked weakly.

Rei laughed, "Oh, that has nothing to do with love as far as
she's concerned!"

Darien raised his eyebrows, but his heart was beating
strangely.  It brought him an odd sense
of relief....as though some part of him had been holding it's
breath for a long time and
suddenly released it....to know she did not love her
husband....had never loved him?

"Why on earth did she get married then?"  He blurted with
suspicious curiousity.

Rei shrugged, "Because she wanted to.  Alan brought order
to her life when she was surrounded
by chaos and couldn't decide what to do.  She struggled a
lot trying to decide on a career
you know, she wanted to do *everything*."

Darien bit back a smile.  That sounded about right.

"But she did decide early on, that love does not really exist. 
I don't know why--she just 
stopped believing.  So marrying Alan when she admired
him seemed right."

Rei frowned.

"You don't think she made the right decision?"  He asked.

"I don't know.  Yes and no.  Sometimes I think she did
because Alan keeps her so steady and
focused and...organized....but other times she just seems
so...I don't know...starved for 
something else....she really is interested in everything you
know?  She can't seem to find
the compromise."

Darien nodded.  Of course he knew.  He met her at an Art
Show for God's sakes!  She came to him
when that hunger was too much to bear....when she needed
passion--blind and uncomplicated
and pure.  And he had it to offer her...for some reason
unknown to him.  What did that mean?

Rei left him to his thoughts while she finished her tea.  

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Elsewhere....at the other side of the city, Serena was sitting
in her office, busily sidling
through files and papers, typing with one hand at a
computer, all seriousness and focus when
Amy came in.  

"Serena?  Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Serena looked up blankly a moment but then smiled, "Of
course Amy!"  She dropped everything
and cleared her desk, ushering the short haired woman into
the chair opposite her.

Amy secretly smiled, impressed at how quickly Serena put
everything aside for anyone.  She was
admired through the entire office for it.

"I wanted you to be the first to know..."  She began as
Serena closed the door behind her and 
returned to her desk.

"Yes?"  She asked, smiling curiously at her.

Amy leaned across the desk and clasped her good friend's
hands, "I-I'm going to have a baby!"

Serena stared blankly at her a moment, smile still frozen in
place, "A baby?"

Amy smiled, "Yes, yes.  Greg and I have been trying for a
while.  We haven't mentioned to anyone
but now that I am, I wanted you to be the first to hear!  I'm
so happy!"

"Oh Amy I'm so glad!"  She said sincerely--already
planning a shower.

Amy's face was flushed with excitement, "We're moving to
a bigger apartment, with a room for 
the baby and Greg's already buying things for the nursury!" 
She shook her head,
"Can you believe him?  He's already bought a stroller!"

The two girls laughed.

"He's just excited."  Serena smiled, then looking at Amy
added, "Almost as excited as you!"

Amy chuckled, then stood, "Well, I'd better get back to
work..."

"Thanks for telling me Amy."  Serena said sincerely, "It
means a lot to me that you wanted me
to be the first to know."

Amy turned, "You're one of the best women I've ever met." 
She said honestly, "And it was you
that introduced Greg and I in the first place.  I feel, in some
way, you're a part of all this.
That's why I wanted you to know first."

Serena's face became serious, as though the words were so
beautiful they hurt.
"Th-thank you."  She stammered emotionally.

Then Amy grew serious, "Now, I know you will try and
plan a baby shower--but you really don't 
have to, I--"

"Amy, I'll hear no such nonsense!  Get out of my office this
instant!"  Serena laughed, pushing
her out the door.

Amy tried in vain to deter her but knew it was futile.  She
also knew what kind of a shower
Serena would throw, and it would be embarrassing to have
such an affair made out of it.  She
sighed.

Serena meanwhile, was already on the phone with the best
bakery in town, smiling as she wound
the phone cord round her finger.  

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Although Amy had been expecting a huge affair for the
shower, and Serena had been tempted
to, Amy was pleasently surprised to find it a small, intimate
gathering.
Serena hosted it at her place, had delicious food, a warm
fire blazing and just close friends
and aquaintances.  
Amy's sister and cousin's were present--one of them flown
in from the other side of the country!
And Serena had invited Rei and Mina and even Lita from
the Bistro in a sudden moment of 
inspiration.
They were well underway in unwrapping gifts and enjoying
wine when Alan came home.  He'd been
very cross at the idea of having the shower in their home,
but not nearly as cross as Serena
had been at him for insinuating it should be held elsewhere. 
Alan thought it forboding of 
another argument about children and watched her organize
darkly.

He walked briskly through and made a polite "Hello."
accompanied by a weak smile, before 
disappearing into his study---though not before raising his
eyebrows at Lita's presence.

Serena was all bubbly with enthusiasm, caught up in the
excitement of the gifts, oblivious
to her husbands patronizing gaze and tone.  

The shower was a great success.  Amy was delighted with
her gifts, hugged and thanked everyone,
even Serena's friends.  Everyone was so wonderful and she
seemed to hit it off with Rei
immediately since she already had children of her own and
had many sweet and hilarious stories
to tell.

It was late in the evening when everyone had gone, Amy
was the last to leave--save for 
Rei, who stayed to help her clean up--hugging Serena with
slightly teary eyes, alight with 
gratitude and sincerity.

"Thank you, it was perfect, just perfect!"

"I was tempted to made a big tidoo but thought the better of
it."  Serena smiled.

Amy just nodded empathetically and left to meet Greg at
the door with the first armload of gifts
to take to the car.

Rei was gathering up the next bunch as Serena walked
over.  She picked up the beautiful, antique
bear Rei had brought with some baby clothes and smiled.
"I think this bear was the most beautiful gift Rei."

Rei grinned, "It's lovely isn't it?  I didn't pick it out though--
you'll never guess who did!"

"Who?  Chad?"

"No, Darien!"

Serena had a hard time not dropping it at that point.  She
raised her eyebrows, "Darien picked 
it out?"

"Yup, I mentioned briefly to him that one of your friends at
work was pregnant and I was 
invited to the shower and he brought over a bear last visit
and insisted I add it to my 
present!  I thought it was sweet..."

Serena looked down at the exquisite bear and felt an odd
lump in her throat.  Amy returned
mercifully at that moment and the gifts were carried to the
car.

Rei chatted lightly of children and babies and pregnancy as
they cleaned up the dishes and Serena
nodded, barely listening.  She asked a few questions but
held back--and Rei could tell--from
getting to much into it.

She and Alan had had a terrible argument some months ago
about children.  It had not started or
finished well and there was still some lingering tension
over it.  She knew Alan hadn't wanted
the shower and she didn't want to push her luck.

Rei knew nothing of this and wondered oddly at it.  Serena
had seemed so joyous during the shower
and now she was holding back, almost nervous.  So she
broached the obvious question,
"Serena, do you want children?"

Serena nearly dropped the plate she was carrying but
instead clutched it far too tightly, her
face going pale.  A sudden clatter from the study confessed
Alan was listening and Rei watched
her suddenly trembling friend aghast.

"N-no Rei, I...don't."  She said softly.

Rei frowned oddly but decided to leave well enough alone-
-at least until that wretched Alan
was out of earshot--imagine eavesdropping on your wife!

After Rei left, Serena crept quietly to bed, anticipating a
stern lecture from Alan, but found
he had fallen asleep reading.  She breathed a secret sigh of
relief and carefully tucked away
his glasses and book before climbing into bed herself.  But
she did not sleep for many hours,
her heart ached oddly as she tried not to think about babies
and the beatiful, antique bear
from Darien.....She fought back the question needling her
mind with enough sharpness to
belay it's significance.....but it crept out anyway, flickering
in her mind like a shadow..
~Does Darien want children?~

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Serena avoided Rei that week, knowing she'd demand the
whole story and still too hearbroken to 
speak of it.  Alan was cool with her and left on a lengthy
business trip to Japan for two weeks
without so much as a kiss goodbye.  

Serena worked her bruised soul till she hadn't a spare
moment free to think of anything, but 
when Amy came by her office to thank her again for the
beautiful baby shower and ask her to
help pick out names she could bear it no longer.  She fairly
flew over to Darien's that night,
arriving breathless at the door and surprising him, covered
in paint.

She regarded him with awe, comfort and something akin to
relief.  Had he ever looked so handsome?
Rough clothes, bare feet, paint all over him, his hair
mussed and unkept.  

"Hello.."  He said curiously, as if to ask `What are you
doing here?`

"I'm sorry I didn't call....I came straight from work...."

"It's ten o'clock at night."  He observed incredulously.

"I-I know, I've been putting in some overtime this week..."

He wiped his hands off on his pants and pulled her in, "Is
something the matter?"
He asked softly and knew the answer when she didn't let go
of him.

"I...no...I just need--"

He silenced her with his eyes and pushed her back a little,
"You're going to ruin your clothes."

She smiled wryly, "I don't care."

He chuckled and walked her upstairs where he'd covered
the painting and began to put his paints
away carefully while she tossed her jacket carelessly aside.  

"Can I help?"  She asked, walking over.

"Uh, yeah, here, you can carry these to the sink."

She fumbled with the paints but then carried them as
though they were made of glass, walking
carefully to the sink, making him smile.

He put the rest of his things away and headed to the
bathroom to wash up, finding her right
behind him.  He laughed.

"Are you following me?"

She nodded and then bent to turn on the faucets, "Here, I'll
turn the shower on so you don't 
get paint everywhere."

He nodded, stripping off his wet clothes, but when she was
done he was surprised to have her 
climb in with him, washing the paint diligently from his
hands and arms.
She didn't usually, whenever he was covered in paint, she
always let him wash up first.

He regarded her with surprise, but she offered no
explanation.  So he watched her carefully,
trying to see what it was that had prompted a sudden
visit...no phone call.
But the only thing he could feel was a deep, deep loneliness
in her.  How sad her eyes looked,
though she tried desperately to mask it.  She'd been
working overtime, something must be on her
mind.

He tilted her chin up, "Hey."  He said gently.

"Hmm?"  She asked, still focused on the stubborn oil paint
clinging to his fingertips.

"I'm glad you came over."

She looked at him then, and smiled in spite of herself.  The
tenderness in his eyes and voice
wrapping round her again.  He could see her relax a bit and
let out a breath she'd been 
holding.

He pulled her close then and let the hot water run over
them both, letting her hair down on
a sudden impulse.  She usually didn't like to get it wet when
she was over, since it took so
long to dry, but tonight she said nothing, and let the water
soak it as it wrapped around them
both--making him feel that he'd somehow stumbled into a
beautiful faerytale.

And she clung to him, drawing the one thing she needed,
the one thing she could not name.  She 
felt his lips at her throat, trailing down and desire creep
slowly up to meet him from her skin.
Then it all became blurred, hazy with the beauty that
sprung up between them 
everytime....effortless.  She was wrapping her legs about
him and he was pressing her back 
against the cool tiles of the shower wall, and pleasure was
creating itself anew.  

If he'd been aware at all the words she was murmuring
would have reached him.  But as it was, 
they didn't.  Soft, desperate words about feeling crushed,
distressed, lonely and defeated.
Words about needing him, more than anything
else....anything at all....

It was long hours later, deep in the night with the full moon
high and bright, that they
crept out of the bathroom and into the loft.  
Serena's long hair trailing silver in the moonlight down her
back and he was catching his breath
again.  Surely she was the most beautiful creature on this
earth?  There could be no one else.

He approached her carefully, and pulled the towel gently
off, "Let me sketch you tonight?"
He said so softly in her ear.

She turned wide eyes on him, "Are-are you sure you...want
to?"  She asked weakly.

He smiled and pulled her with him to get his sketch pad
and charcoal.  
And she let him, standing bathed in moonlight, long hair
curving round, she let him sketch her
like some beautiful goddess or nymph....it was an
experience like no other in her life, to be
looked at in such a way....to *be* that girl....

Darien worked fervantly, without stopping, knowing this
was probably his one chance to capture 
her so.  
Charcoal covered page after page with the beautiful curve
of her back, the soft shape of her
face, the depth of her eyes......the pages were vested with
some emotion in him too strong to
name and he knew it.  

Finally, she padded slowly across the floor to him where he
sat, still wrapped in a towel himself,
sketch pad in his lap, charcoal smeared on his hands.  She
came round and caught her breath,
sketch after perfect sketch and a queer ache started up from
her heart and ran down her body
till it was everywhere.....

She turned almost tragic eyes on him, so full suddenly of
emotion, so touched as she hadn't
been before, raw and new,  "Is that how you see me?"  Her
voice was a choked notch above a 
whisper, hoarse with ethereal pain.

His eyes were the only answer, and he nodded very slowly,
wondering at her reaction.  And then
she launched herself full at him, tossing him over
backwords and kissing him breathless.  Hands
and legs and beautiful, beautiful hair tangling all around
him.

"Mmph!"  He managed in surprise, but quickly returned it,
letting his fingers leave smoky trails
down her back as desire renewed itself through his body. 
She pulled off his towel and for the
first time, made love to him, seduced her own lover........

And he knew.  Knew this time she was giving to him, with
a kind of gratitude, the one thing
perfect between them, to speak for her heart.

He succumbed to pleasure with a loss of control that put
their previous encounters to shame, but
confessed the loss of something else to her....

But she was unaware of this, knowing only the satisfaction
of a woman, satisfying her lover, 
returning what is usually given.  He held her with shaky
hands, at once fulfilled and helpless
beneath her and she collected his trembling body to hers
this time, soothing it with the steady
beat of her heart till he simply sighed and dozed lazily, his
face tucked beneath her chin.

She left the next morning, after the usual round of pancakes
with apples, coffee and banter.
And though Alan was away all week, she did not return. 
She knew that night was something she
would treasure in some place in her Alan could not reach. 
And it bothered her.  It had been
too perfect to be rationalized away as simply fanciful.  She
spent long hours contemplating this
until Alan's return.

Darien meanwhile, had crept back up to the loft after she
left, heavy hearted.  Stepped through
the tangle of towels and sketches to sit down by his
sketchpad, coffee in hand, and bow his head
in a storm of sorrow and realization that would not wash
down.  Something wasn't right.
Something was missing in his thoughts.  Something
burning to be confessed he could not claim.
He was fearful, weak and at the same time exulted, as
though free in some way never realized
before.

He though of Serena, such a goddess in the
moonlight.....the most beautiful thing in his life,
a life he spent in pursuit of beauty.....
He looked down at the sketches scattered about and
realized what was wrong.  While he was barely
a part of her life, she had somehow crept into all of his.  
It wasn't fair.  
Not because he would ever intentionally hurt him, or tip the
scales off balance.  But because
she could not now, nor ever be subtracted from it.  He
would always welcome her.  And that
was not right.  What sort of affair had this become?

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