So Strange You Are My Lover Chapter 5 Author: Silent Moon mail: silentmoonstar@yahoo.com rated: R Disclaimer: Alright, this is getting just a *little* tedious, let's see if I can think of something witty to put here.....uhhh.. ....hmmm.....er.....oh no, I'm not funny at all! waaahhhhh! AN's: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* * She arrived at Darien's door breatless and he looked surprised--something was wrong, she'd just been here last night--and she had an overnight bag with her?! But besides that her eyes--her eyes were wild. She dropped the bag and stepped inside. "I--" She began in a voice he didn't recognize--neither did she. Her world had come unravelled quite suddenly. She looked right at him then, desperate for something...something... "Make me forget everything?" He seemed to consider this a moment, but then he stepped closer to her, "Close your eyes." She did, and he caught her face gently with his hands and kissed her....not just softly but completely, as he hadn't before. And it did make her forget everything. The way he kept finding another way to touch and seduce her--even if this was too intimate and all wrong. Afterall, you can't have an affair when you're not cheating on anyone. But she forgot that too. Wrapped herself around him tightly, let him carry her not to the loft but the bedroom. And she kept her eyes closed as he slowly tugged off her clothes and ran his hands and lips hotly over her body, till she surrendored completely.....lost it completely. Only then did she open her eyes, rush him out of his own clothes and pull him down on the bed to meet her. She didn't sleep that night--though Darien did afterwards--nor did she refuse him when he reached for her early that morning--but as they finished and he leaned down to kiss her--she stopped him. "No, no--oh we can't--we shouldn't have!" He woke fully at this and pulled her gently to a sit with him, "What's wrong?" "I-I, it's over with Alan." He stared at her a moment, a whirlwind of emotions in his eyes--but they settled to something gently and he said softly, "I'm sorry." "Don't be. It's the right thing...but you and I can't--this can't be anymore..." He started a bit--not at her words but at the sadness he thought he caught in them. She got up and hurriedly dressed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come--it's unfair for me to put you in this position--I--" He stopped her, "Serena..." She met his eyes. "Never apologize to me for what happens between us." And there was a world of meaning in his eyes. He walked her to the door and she turned tenderly on him, touching his face, "Y-You've been good to me..." and her voice broke suddenly, tears starting at her eyes. He moved to grab her but she hurried away, "Goodbye." He stared after her with supreme horror but then stopped and went to the phone. He was quick. "Hello?" Came Serena's reluctant voice over her cell phone. "Can we be friends?" "What?" "If we can't be lovers anymore, can we be friends?" "I-I don't know Darien....I suppose so..." "Do you have some place to stay?" He asked gently. She smiled, "Yes, with a friend of mine, Mina." "The model right?" "Yes." A pause. "Friends then?" A pause from her end. "I think I'd like that. Are you sure we can do it?" "Absolutely." He replied. ~Anything not to lose you....~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* * It was some two weeks later, after Serena was settled in with Mina, organized as far as lawyers and divorce papers were concerned and talked out with she and Rei about the why's, how's, and when' of it all, that Darien called, his voice relaxed and pleasant, "Hello. How's it all going?" "Better now." She replied honestly. "How do you feel about embarking on our first "friendly" excursion?" "What did you have in mind?" She asked dryly. "It's hot enough, how about the beach?" She sighed, "No, I'm not cheerful enough yet for the beach." He chuckled, "We--ll, how about just a walk then?" "A walk would be lovely." She agreed, "Shall I meet you in the park?" "How soon?" "Say....twenty minutes?" "Perfect, meet me by the entrance gates okay?" "Okay." And twenty minutes later found her just so, waiting patiently for him in the first casual clothes he remembered seeing her in. He smiled and they chatted amiably as they walked, but he stuffed his hands in his pockets to resist touching her, reaching for her hand.....tucking an arm around her....he'd never had to stop himself before. "So how do you really feel?" He asked her gently as they walked past couple's and families along the trail that bordered the river. She paused, "I feel.........new." "New?" "Yes, new again. Like there's so much world and so much me to match it that I haven't used before. Like I've been living only one part of myself at the expense of the rest and now I don't know how to unravel the rest of me.....how to live all the parts of me. I used to struggle with that a lot.....now it's all coming back to me again....like I'm waking up to it again." "You're a poet." He remarked and she started visibly. "What do you mean?" "You speak like a poet. You ought to try your hand at writing some time Sere." She smiled and shook her head, "I don't know where to start or what to start with." "Why don't you make a list? List all the things you've ever wanted to do." But now she was firm, "Nope! That's too organized and I've spent *years* being organized. This is going to have to be a little more chaotic and random." "Spur of the moment? Fly by the seat of your pants kind of thing?" She laughed, "Exactly." He nodded, "It's do-able." He offered his arm, "Shall we dine Madam? At some out of the way little cafe perhaps?" "Lovely." She assented chuckling and took his arm. And dine they did. Chatting and jesting for hours, lingering over dessert. Serena had never spent time with Darien besides the affair, and she found his company delightful. ~What a lively, wonderful man!~ She thought, ~It must be the artist life style.....so relaxed.~ But she was to be proven wrong for as they walked down the darkend streets that night Darien suddenly grabbed her hand on impulse and dragged her into a nightclub. "Come on, let's go dancing!" "Wh-at?" She cried in shock. But in he pulled her and onto the dance floor, to the centre of pounding rhythms and dancing bodies. But the surprising part was that he could dance! He danced with her late late into the night till they were both breathless, laughing and carrying on. When they stumbled out into the streets she turned incredulously on him, "I didn't know you could dance!" "What, you think just because I paint that all I listen to is classical music?" Her silence was answer enough and he laughed. She shook her head as they walked home, ~There's so much I don't know....~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@ The friendship that sprung up between them was a wonderful one. Though there were a few obstacles to overcome. The first being how to tell Rei--as well as their other friends--how they met. They decided to half-lie and say they met at a recent art show and realized who the other was in connection with Rei and simply hit it off well. Everyone accepted the story beautifully--though Rei had a funny look in her eyes as she nodded. She always did have an eerie sixth sense. But besides Rei's suspicions it seemed to work rather well. Afterall, they really hadn't ever spent time together just talking. There was so much they didn't know about one another so far as details and opinions were concerned. And suddenly the weekends were spent with Rei and her family, Amy and Greg and Mina and Malcolm when they could make it, and Darien. Delightful sailing trips and saturdays at the beach. Without the guilt of Alan's constant working Serena embraced her new freedom with open arms--at least on weekends. She even published a short volume of poetry under a pen name, which she told no one about, but secretly exulted in. And she and Darien often went out evenings for dinner, sometimes dancing. He became her closest confidante besides Rei. And every group outing that spilled into evening, when everyone had their spouse or significant other to turn to, she had Darien. But she was firm with her friends that it stopped there. There was nothing romantic between them. And to Rei's complete exasperation, Darien remained aloof on the issue as well. It seemed almost as though they'd reached some sort of agreement over it! But some evenings were far too enchanting....romance glistening off the other's skin as they bid goodnight, and Darien could not mask the longing in his eyes. Such as one night when they stumbled to her door a little drunk and breathless and he suddenly had her far too close and she could see the desire in his eyes. And for perhaps the smallest of moments she let her body remember how wonderful his felt...but she quickly collected herself as he bent to kiss her. "No, no we can't, we can't!" She exclaimed pulling away. She assumed he simply missed the affair--not that he had fallen in love with her--and felt that becoming lovers again would be wrong. He said nothing to this but nodded and released her gently. "It'd be too easy..." He caught her mumbling as she fumbled with her keys in the door. He smiled sadly. No matter how her friends berated her, no matter how her heart ached queerly about him, Serena made her own truth. Some things had to remain orderly and constant or she wouldn't know anything anymore. He caught her hand and turned her round, "I miss you..." Her eyes turned sorrowful, "I know....but...we can only be friends now." He nodded quietly and left. She sank to the floor behind the door. This was hard. And there was no one to sympathize with her. It was all a secret. An affair that had ended with something else taking it's place. It didn't matter how tender he'd been. It didn't matter how many nights. It didn't matter even that he wanted children..... She shook herself, ~What's the matter with me? Have I gone daft? Passion is NOT love, it's just very romantic.....very....~ She sighed. There was still no such thing as love. And she would never believe in it again. And she and Darien were just friends. Once they were lovers, but that was no more. Just friends. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~