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	"He who the Son sets free is free indeed."
John 8:36

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The Coldest December
By Aimee

Chapter Four

	"You face shows the secret
	Hands by your side
	The wounded bird that's in your eyes
	Is too broken down to fly..."
	~Whiteheart

	"You're late."
	"Gyaaaaaaaaah!" was the unearthly shriek
that escaped from my lips. I spun around in sheer
panic, expecting to see a man-eating youma or a
wild-eyed murderer lurking in the shadows. I saw
neither, and my body refused to relax even when I
recognized Tuxedo Kamen. "Geez," I hissed at the
tall man in black, my nerves raw. "Do you always
have to sneak up on me like that?"
	"My apologies," said the tall man in black
as he approached me slowly, and I felt the ache
inside my heart twist in anticipation with each
step he took. Where had he come from? And where did
Mamoru go? "There's no reason to be frightened, you
know. I was watching you from the time you stepped
from your house, just like I said I would."
	I didn't know whether to thank him or call
the cops on the man for stalking me.
	"Why are you so unsettled?" he questioned
me curiously as he peered suspiciously through his
mask. I felt like his eyes were staring straight
into my mind, seeing all my thoughts and fears for
what they were. "I thought you told me that you
trusted me."
	"I...I'm trying to." My voice shook as I
spoke. "But..."
	"But?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "How
is it that you don't even trust the man who always
saves you when you're in danger, Sailor Moon?"
	My mouth gaped open quite ridiculously as
I froze in complete shock for one long moment. My
God, Luna was right. Tuxedo Kamen knew that I was
Sailor Moon. But how had he discovered my secret?
	"How...how did you know?" I stammered,
taking a step backwards. It didn't even occur to me
to act as though I didn't know what he was talking
about.
	A faint smile pulled at his lips. "I told
you before--I know a lot of things. But don't worry,
little one--your secret is safe with me."
	Oh gee, that made me feel *much* better.
	"Then tell me, Tuxedo Kamen," I said, changing
the tone of my voice so that I sounded like Sailor
Moon--two could play at this game. "Are you on our
side or against us?" I addressed the man in an
unattached manner, trying to ignore the fact that
I felt drawn to him.
	"What do you think?" he challenged me,
crossing his arms over his chest, watching me in
amusement as I tried to be serious. I'm certainly
glad *one* of us was having a nice time. It was as
if he found my irritated state amusing, just like
Mamoru does when he teases me. How annoying!
	"I think you need to make your intentions
clear," I stated firmly, repeating Luna's words as
if they were my own.
	"I would think that my previous actions
would speak for themselves."
	"Actually, they don't," I shot back. "True,
you've helped me many times, and for that, I thank
you. But why do you do it? What's in it for you?"
	"I don't understand what you're asking," he
said, the amusement in his voice slowly fading. "I
save your life because you're a human being--a
living, breathing organism who has a right to live.
I'm quite certain you would do the same thing if
the tables were turned. What's 'in it for me,' as
you so delicately put it, is the satisfaction of
knowing you're safe."
	<Ouch...>
	I faltered, practically crushed. That was
it? That was the reason he always intervened when
I was in danger? Because I was merely a person in
need? What a fool I had been to think it was more
than that...
	"I'm sorry to hear that your trust in me
is in question, and I realize that it is mostly my
fault," he continued quietly. "But please believe
me when I tell you, Usagi, that I would never hurt
you or intentionally cause you pain. You have my
loyalty. I swear it," he pledged, approaching me.
I tried to hide the fear and doubt in my eyes. He
took one of my hands and touched it with the softest
of butterfly kisses. I felt a tingle go up the
length of my arm upon contact, and I struggled to
keep my composure.
	"Why me?" I whispered weakly. "Why not one
of the other senshi?"
	"You ask too many questions, Usagi. Why not
dig for the answers yourself?"
	I opened my mouth to respond, but no words
formed on my lips. I turned my face away from his
gaze, tears forming in my eyes.
	"You'd better go," he said.
	I swallowed hard, nodding guiltily. I turned,
letting my hand slip from his. "Will you be watching?"
I asked in a quiet voice.
	"Goshinpainaku," he said as I began to walk
away. "You're not alone."

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	I shut the front door behind me with a soft
click and leaned heavily on it, trying to keep from
crying. He had seemed so hurt by my words, and I
felt as though I had let him down. I was miserable--
he'd never done anything to hurt me. Why couldn't I
just let go and trust him?
	That look in his eyes was heartbreaking--
sadness mixed with a hint of longing. Just like
Mamoru's eyes.
	And what had become of Mamoru-san? Had I
just imagined him standing out on the street watching
me? There's no possible way he could have disappeared
so quickly. The only plausible explanation was that
it must have been one of my daydreams. Besides, why
would he have been outside my window at such a late
hour? He would never do anything like that. Surely I
had been imagining things.
	With a sigh, I trudged up the stairs, sniffling
quietly. After changing into my nightclothes, I slipped
into bed and cried myself into a deep sleep.

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	"I have a surprise for you, Princess," he
told me as he took me by the hand, leading me through
the moonlit gardens. "Follow me."
	"What are you up to?" I giggled softly,
noting how well my hand fit into his--like two
pieces of a puzzle.
	"You'll see," he answered in that delightfully
mischievous tone that I'd grown to love. He began
to lead me deeply into the royal gardens. After a
bit, he squeezed my hand and asked, "Do you trust
me?"
	I smiled at the question...trust had always
been so important to him. "Of course I do."
	"Then close your eyes."
	I obeyed, an amused smile on my lips. He
continued to lead me into the garden. Though my
eyes were shut, I wasn't afraid. He would never
let anything happen to me.
	We stopped, and he let go of my hand. "Can
I open my eyes now?" I asked, curious as to what my
surprise was.
	"Not yet." I felt him slip his hands around
my waist from behind. I giggled slightly but tried
my best to keep the laughter inside; it would be a
catastrophe if he ever found out that I was ticklish.
His cheek rested against mine, and my laughter faded
as I marveled at how wonderful it felt to be in his
arms. "All right, Princess," he murmured into my ear.
"Open your eyes."
	I smiled and did as he wished. I gasped in
delight as a breathtaking scene unfolded before me.
"How beautiful!" I exclaimed, gazing at the enormous
full moon on the beautiful horizon, perfectly framed
by the trees and rose bushes of Earth, almost like
a picture. "The moon..." I whispered, sadness drifting
to my voice. "How I miss it..."
	"Don't worry, love," he comforted me, kissing
my temple lightly. "As soon as it's safe again, you'll
be able to go home."
	My mood turned somber in a moment. "Why do
we have to have war? What's the purpose?"
	"I don't know, angel," he whispered, holding
me closer still. "I don't know."
	We stayed in each other's arms for a few
wonderful moments of peace, and I sighed in contentment
even though I was far away from home. "Thank you for
my surprise," I told him, kissing his cheek shyly.
"I loved it."
	"That wasn't the surprise..." he whispered
into my hair.
	"What?"
	"Look at your hand," he said, and I glanced
down to see a beautiful ring on my left hand. I
gasped in wonderful surprise, excitement rushing
through my veins.
	"Marry me, Princess," he murmured, holding
me tightly from behind.
	A few joyful tears escape me as I turned
around and whispered his beautiful name.
	"Endymion..."

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	"Don't forget your lunch, sweetheart!" my
mother's voice sang as I flew down the stairs,
pulling on a shoe with one hand and scrambling to
brush my teeth with the other.
	"Thanks, Mom!" I called to her through a
mouth of toothpaste as I grabbed the bunny-clad bag
of goodies she offered me. I tossed the toothbrush
to her, and she expertly caught it. We made a great
team, let me tell you. With only minutes until I was
late to school, I ran to the front door and flung it
open.
	And promptly stopped dead in my tracks.
	Mamoru stood on the porch, his arm raised
to knock on the door which I had just opened. Though
I'd seen him the night before (well, at least I
*thought* I'd seen him), we hadn't spoken since
the incident at the arcade. "What are you doing
here?" I sputtered, practically flabbergasted.
	"Um..." he faltered, blushing a bit. "Do
you need a ride to school?"
	I glanced behind him to see his car in my
driveway and debated my options quickly. Should I
ride to school with Mamoru, vile and wretched man
that he was, or be late to school and face Ms. Tutty's
wrath? My mind was quickly made up--I could deal
with a few "Odango Atama" remarks, couldn't I?
	"Uh...I guess that would be all right," I
said quickly. "I'm kind of late. Thanks."
	"No problem." When we reached his car, he
opened the door for me. Since when was Mamoru a
gentleman? Well, well, well--I certainly could get
used to this.
	We rode in silence, and to be honest, it was
driving me crazy. What was he thinking about? Was he
still angry? Or had he forgiven me after I'd talked
to him in the arcade? Was it really him that I saw
outside my window? Or had I simply been imagining
things?
	"Um...Mamoru?" I asked shyly, twisting one
long strand of blond hair nervously. "Were you at
my house last night? I thought I saw you."
	He smiled. "I was supposed to meet with
someone late last night, but they didn't show up.
When I was walking back to my apartment, I saw you
in your window, so I stopped."
	"Oh," was all I could think to say. So he
*was* there.
	"I'm sorry if I frightened you," he continued.
"I was just concerned. You looked like you weren't
doing very well. Are you okay?"
	"I'm fine," I answered, a little too quickly.
	But I wasn't fine--I was about to crater,
and I knew it. The past week was more than I could
take. Everything--the attack, nightmares and confusing
dreams, fights and makeups with Mamoru, my confusing
relationship with Tuxedo Kamen, talking with people
about that awful night--it was all wearing on me,
and I was certain I couldn't hold out much longer.
	And then there was the loneliness--the ache--
the persistent void that made me want to burst into
tears with each painful second that it burned inside
of me. Would I always feel so incomplete?
	Mamoru peered at me speculatively, concern
flashing in his eyes. "You know I'm here if you ever
need to talk, right?"
	I nodded silently but didn't answer. I felt
his eyes on me again, and I didn't dare look up, for
I knew that if I did, I might start to cry.
	Luckily, he knew better than to push me, and
he relented. "I'm going to start taking you to and
from school from now on, Usagi."
	"Nani?" I squeaked, completely surprised. "Why?"
	He cleared his throat, keeping his eyes on
the road. "Because of what happened to you. I'd feel
better if I knew you were safe."
	"Oh..." My voice trailed off into silence.
After a moment, I added, "You don't have to, Mamoru.
If it's a problem--"
	"It's not a problem."
	My gaze fell to my lap. "All right. Thank
you."
	"I'll pick you up at 3:30," he said, pulling
up to the front of the school building. I began to
gather my belongings, nodding to him. He reached for
my hand before I got out of the car and held it in
his own for a moment, glancing at me seriously.
"Please be careful, Usagi."
	*Please be careful...* Tuxedo Kamen's words
ran through my mind.
	"I-I will," I answered, but my words seemed
small and shy. "And Mamoru? You're not still mad at
me, are you?" I bit my lip nervously.
	He smiled. "I'm not mad. I promise."
	I beamed and gave him a crushing bear hug
in my happiness. "Let's not ever fight like that
again! It was so horrible..."
	"Hai," he agreed in a gentle voice. "You'd
better get to class, Usagi."
	"Have a nice day, Mamoru."
	"You too, Odango," he replied, tugging
playfully at one of my pig-tails.
	I watched him drive away with mixed feelings.
My hand tingled from his touch, and my heart was
beating a little too fast. "Chiba Mamoru," I whispered,
watching his car become smaller and smaller. "What
are you doing to me?"

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	"Usagi? Hello? Are you there?"
	"Hmmm?" I murmured, pulling myself from
the daydream I'd been in since I arrived at school.
"Oh, hey Naru!"
	Her eyes sparkled at me mischievously. "That
must have been some dream, Usagi. I've been trying
to get your attention for a while."
	I blushed furiously. "Gomen..."
	"Anyway, Usagi," she continued. "I was wondering
if you wanted to do something after school...maybe go
to the arcade or something. We haven't done anything
fun in a long time. And besides, I need a break from
studying for mid-terms."
	"I'd love to, but I have to meet someone
after school," I explained, truly disappointed that
I couldn't go.
	"Who are you meeting?" she inquired, her
cheerfulness never ceasing.
	"Chiba Mamoru--he offered to drive me home,"
I answered, slightly embarrassed to admit that I was
voluntarily associating with my archenemy.
	"Is there something going on between you
two?" she asked, elbowing me playfully. "I saw you
getting out of his car this morning, you know. He
was holding your hand and everything. Umino's already
posted the pictures on the internet."
	"Nani?! Why that little..." I screeched,
pushing up the sleeves of my uniform, ready to
pummel the little weasel into a greasy spot. "And
there's nothing going on between Mamoru-baka and
I. We're just friends."
	"Sure, Usagi...just remember what Ms. Haruna
taught us last year."
	"What's that?"
	" 'Safe Sex isn't only about not getting
pregnant--it's about your life.' "
	I gasped and turned four shades of crimson,
completely shocked. How dare she! I took chase of
my friend, who was now running down the hallway,
laughing.
	"Naru! Get back here! Take that back, Naru!"

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	"You're late, Odango," Mamoru teased light-
heartedly when I got into his car.
	"Gomen," I answered, still blushing feverishly
from Molly's remarks only moments earlier. "My friend
and I had to have a little talk."
	He nodded as he pulled out into the street.
It was a comfortable ride. Soft music played in the
background, and the warmth from the car's heater
made me feel happy and content. I watched the man
next to me thoughtfully, glad that he and I were
on better terms. Our fight only a few days earlier
was a dreadful one--as much as we'd fought and
teased each other in the past, nothing as serious
or cruel had ever passed between us until that day,
and I genuinely hoped that we'd never argue like
that again.
	I smiled, glad that I had decided to open
up to Mamoru and tell him the truth about what had
happened to me. That simple act of honesty seemed
to have transformed our relationship. He looked at
me differently now--I could see it clearly in his
eyes. It was as if something had opened up between
the two of us, and although I didn't want to admit
it, I liked what was happening.
	There was another thing I didn't want to
admit...I was starting to look at him differently,
too. True, he was still the same old Mamoru, but he
didn't seem like a cold, distant stranger anymore. I
was getting to know him and understand how he thought
and the way he handled situations. I liked what I was
discovering in him. He was a complex individual, and
I was curious as to what made him the way he was.
	There was something about him. I found myself
growing excited when he touched me, and I couldn't
help but notice how my heart began to beat faster
when his eyes met mine. Even that insistent ache
inside of me seemed to be satisfied when I was in
his presence--but it was still longing for more. But
he, of all people, shouldn't be affecting me in such
a way. Surely there wasn't anything more in those
caresses and looks than simple friendship or kindness.
Mamoru could be very sweet sometimes. He looked out
for me, made sure I got safely to school, and...
	"So Odango..." Mamoru began.
	Nevermind. The man was a jerk.
	"Look, you miserable baka--my name is Usagi,"
I said firmly, crossing my arms over my chest. "If
you want to remain my friend, I suggest you start
calling me that."
	"Friends, huh?" he mused, and I noted the
smile that pulled at his lips.
	"Well, yeah. What did you think we were?" I
asked, slightly irritated.
	"Mortal enemies would probably be a more
accurate assessment," he laughed, his dark blue eyes
lightening a few shades as he did so. "But I like
the way 'friends' sounds."
	"Me too," I said softly, feeling a slight
blush stain my cheeks.
	"Anyway--back to what I was about to say
before I was so *rudely* interrupted," he teased
with a wink. "You left this in my car this morning.
I didn't mean to snoop, but the red marks were a
bit hard to miss."
	I scowled deeply at the English test paper
he handed back to me. Yes, the large 37% at the top
of the paper certainly *was* hard to miss. "It's not
my fault that I failed," I sulked. "I speak Japanese,
not English."
	"Speaking and writing in a foreign language
is an important part of your education, Usagi. You
really ought to--"
	"Good grief--you sound like Mrs. Tutty," I
hissed at him. "I get lectured enough at school. I
don't need it from you."
	"I'm not lecturing you. I'm just saying..."
	"I don't want to hear it! Can I get out of
the car, please?" I asked angrily, putting my hand
on the car handle. "I'd rather walk than deal with
this."
	"Well, we're going about 50 kph. If you jump
high enough, you just might clear that 18-Wheeler
next to us," he teased, speeding up a little.
	"Do you know that 75% of all car accidents
are because of speeding?" I inquired, eyeing the
speedometer wearily.
	"Do you know that 90% of all statistics are
made up?" he countered.
	"Well, *fine*," I growled viciously. "Kill
us both. You can stick your speedometer where the
sun doesn't shine for all I care."
	"Come on, Odango--you know I would never
abuse my vehicle's equipment in such a fashion."
	"Oooooo, I hate you!" I squealed, slapping
at his jacket harmlessly.
	He caught my hand as I was ineffectually
beating him--the man was practically laughing at my
feeble attempts to thrash him. "Come to my apartment,
Usagi," he managed to speak through his laughter.
"I'll help you out with your English."
	I was practically seething. "Why? So you
can insult me more?"
	"Yeah, sure...I can do that, too," he laughed,
rekindling my intense desire to maul the hell out of
him. "Tell you what--if you let me tutor you, and you
get an 'A' on your next English test, I'll never call
you Odango Atama again."
	"Never *ever*?" I asked, a hint of hope in
my voice. I could stand being around him for a few
hours, couldn't I?
	"Never. I promise."
	"Wait a second," I hesitated, suddenly
suspicious. "If you don't call me Odango Atama, then
what are you going to call me?"
	He smirked, trying not to laugh. "I thought
'Meatball Head' had a nice ring to it."
	"Meatba--" I gasped, my eyes wide. "You...
you JERK! What is it with you and my hair?"
	"Come on," he pleaded. "I think it's cute."
	"Absolutely not!" I seethed.
	"All right," he relented with a sigh.
"I'll call you Usagi."
	I stuck my tongue out at him. "You've got
yourself a deal, baka."
	As soon as the words came out of my mouth,
I regretted my decision. Once again, I had foolishly
volunteered to spend time with this Spawn of Satan
who was cleverly disguised as a successful college
student. I sighed, and muttered a few choice words
under my breath.
	What had I gotten myself into?

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Write me! sailor_moon89@hotmail.com

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Ja ne!
Aimee-chan