salaices@leland.stanford.edu Hey everybody! Well, I did it! Got this in for this week! Yay, me! Okay, first off, I want to thank all of you who have responded to the story. I welcome comments of any kind, even (eek!) flames. As I've mentioned before, this is my first fanfic and I know I have a lot to learn. Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and all related characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi and a bunch of rich conglomerates. I'm neither Naoko nor part of any such conglomerate, thus I own not a single hair on any of these characters (and boy, do they have great hair or what?!) Warning: Light use of swearing, like last time. Nothing heavy, nothing dirty. Hope you enjoy! * * * * * * * * * * @----'---;----- * * * * * * * * * * Final Truths by Lilac Summers Chapter 3 Sailor Moon turned her back immediately on the closed door, fearing that she would be tempted to open it, even apologize, so that last look of horror would be erased from Mamoru's face. She reached out blindly and switched the lights off, plunging the room into darkness, save for the light of the moon that fluttered in through the open balcony doors. Sailor Moon was shaking lightly as she returned to the newly made bed. The entire situation had taken its toll on her, and she was certain that any small occurrence now could send her over the edge. She climbed wearily into the bed, squirming lightly to find the position that was least likely to strain her injury. However, as tired and shaken as she was, she knew it would be impossible for her to find any comfort in sleep. She was surrounded by memories of things she may never again have. The room smelled distinctly of Mamoru's cologne: that enticing, spicy scent that she had once bought him for his birthday and that he had continued to use ever since. It teased her delicate sense of smell and clouded her mind with memories of them together. There had been a time, as short as it may have been, when his presence in her life was a granted, when he was a staple of her day and she of his. Those lovely times when she could touch him indiscriminately, because he belonged to her, when she could run into his arms and be surrounded by them, smelling that sexy cologne, refused to leave her mind. In despair she turned her head into the pillows, trying to escape his scent, but her mind had memorized it and it hung heavy in her head. The very bed she lay on also seemed to mock her, for she had spent hours on it before, enfolded in his arms and sharing dreams. They had never gone too far, or far enough as to actually make love. Instead, they had always drawn back, preferring to savor the pure tenderness of the relationship before tasting the passion that underlay it. Mistakenly, they had figured that those other moments would come soon enough, that they had all the time in the world...at least, she had thought so. Now she was cursing the prudence that had drawn her back, because she might never again have the chance to share that intimacy with him. But that would never be, she thought bitterly. Mamoru didn't love her; he despised her. He was sickened by her weakness, revolted by her childishness and clumsiness. He could easily find a woman much more beautiful, much more sophisticated than herself. It wouldn't be difficult, as she had seen the way other women looked at him. Unfortunately for Usagi, she had never noticed that, regardless of who looked at him, Mamoru's eyes were always trained on her. She did not recognize her own beauty, the power of her fathomless eyes, the magnitude of her golden hair, the innate grace in her bearing that radiated from her soul and not her movements. What she took for childishness was actually child-like innocence, which allowed her to see the world unsullied and to seek out the inner goodness of all people. All those things were what made her so loved by all, why scores of boys went after her (even if she was blind to that fact) and why the Senshi were all willing to follow her. They were the reasons why Mamoru loved her. Instead, Usagi thought herself a failure. And these thoughts kept running through her mind, that she wasn't good enough, smart enough, strong enough, old enough, anything enough until the pillow was soggy with her tears and the room had changed from a memory-album into a torture chamber. Her eyes were blind from the salty moisture, her throat ached from keeping her weeping silent, her side stung from the stitches. Overall, Usagi was having the mother of all bad days. She knew that she couldn't stay in this room a second longer, for it was bound to break her more than she already was, and she could not afford another crack in her heart. She sat up shakily and swung her legs off the bed, hissing between her teeth at the pulling at her side. As quietly as possible she left the bed and walked towards the door, making her way through the darkness and almost spooking herself white at the vision of the pale Senshi in the corner. In reality it was the reflection of the famous Sailor Moon, defender of innocents and seeker of justice, who triumphed over evil but failed miserably in love, in the full-length mirror. Sailor Moon snorted lightly in disgust. What a hero she'd turned out to be.... In truth she was nothing more than a scared fourteen-year-old playing dress up. She stood before the closed bedroom door, debating the chances of sneaking out unnoticed by Mamoru. What she did not need was another encounter with icy Mamoru, or another lecture that detailed how selfish and irresponsible she was. Discarding the door as a possible venue, she turned about and crept towards the balcony. She thanked whatever gods looked out for fools and children (thus she considered herself twice blessed) for the sliding door already being open and for her already being in Senshi form. That way there was no danger of her making any undue noise or her transformation alarming Mamoru. The air was a bit chilly, but refreshing, and it dried her tears gently. She refused to look down the multiple stories that led to the hard pavement, and instead concentrated on the roof of the closest building. She chewed nervously on her lips. God, it looked so far away... How the heck did Tuxedo Mask make it look so easy? Well, no harm in trying...unless, of course, she missed the roof and went plummeting down to her death. She wondered quickly if a fall from this height could kill her in Senshi form. It was about ten stories? Maybe she'd just break both legs. On the good side, her side wouldn't hurt nearly as much if she became paralyzed from the neck down. Sailor Moon giggled lightly at her thoughts. Chances were that the gods who looked after her would continue to do so. After all, it'd be anticlimactic if she died from slipping than if she died in a nice and gruesome battle against evil. Oh, what the hell. She'd rather break every bone in her body than stay another moment in Mamoru's room-o'-torture. Casting one last, longing glance at the shadowed bedroom door that led to her would-be lover, she took her resolution in one hand, her courage in the other, and leapt towards the distant roof of the next building. * * * * * * * * * Mamoru had not moved from his position on the couch for some time. Her final words continued to play havoc with his brain. Over and over in his head, threatening to drive him insane, until his hands folded into fists and his jaw clenched brutally and sweat broke out over his brow. He wanted to break something, but the knowledge that Usagi lay in the other room left the lovely floral arrangement on the coffee table untouched. Mamoru forced his muscles to relax on the couch, and promised his overwrought brain that he would handle everything tomorrow. He would talk to Usagi and find out what she really meant. Surely she had simply spoken out of anger and pain, trying to hurt him. After all, he couldn't imagine himself truly being that important to a person like her. She was light and, frankly, he was nothing but inconsistent shadows. She deserved someone who was not always haunted by spectres, who did not need to cling to her light and love so needily. And he could always fool himself into thinking that he could be happy for her, that he could survive, if he saw her married happily to a man other than himself...if he saw her in someone else's arms. But in actuality his mind and body revolted against such a thought, and his muscles tensed violently, so that he had to wipe every remnant of such a though out of his head if he was to keep himself from breaking into his own room and prostrating himself at her feet, begging her never to leave him. Finally, the stress and fear of the day won out. His nerves had been badly tested, what with having to treat a bleeding Usako and then confront his and her feelings afterwards. His brain simply shut itself off and plunged him into fitful sleep. * * * <^> <^> * * * She was dying, her blood leaving a ghastly trail behind her as she ran. He could see her disappearing into the growing mist, golden streamers of hair flying out behind her, and he chased her desperately, calling her name over and over. Mamoru hastened his speed and finally caught up with the bleeding girl. He grabbed one arm and screamed "Usako, stop!!" She turned around, but it wasn't Usagi, it was Sailor Moon. The blood seeped out through a cut in her suit, pooling at their feet. "Who are you?" she asked, looking at him as if he were a strange specimen undiscovered before. Mamoru gaped at her. "It's me, Mamoru. Sailor Moon, you are bleeding badly!!" She looked down at her side dispassionately. "So I am. Who are you again?" Mamoru growled and changed into Tuxedo Mask. If she wanted to play games, he would end them now. Except, when he looked up she was once again running from him, the blood again trailing behind her in red rivulets. Once more he gave chase, and caught up to her in a perfect mimicry of the last time. "Sailor Moon, stop!" he said angrily, foreboding filling his body slowly. She turned around, but it wasn't Sailor Moon, it was Princess Serenity. The blood gushed freely from underneath her long white gown, marring the white silk obscenely. "Who are you?" she repeated, just as confused as the last time. Without letting go of her arm he transformed into Prince Endymion, almost barking at her: "There, you recognize me now? Princess, you are bleeding all over the place. We have to get you back." She looked down at her side. "Oh, so I am. Quite correct.... Who did you say you were?" Endymion yelled in frustration, ready to haul her over his shoulder and leave the dark mist that enshrouded them. He gripped her arm more tightly and it seemed to change right beneath his hand, becoming slightly longer, as if belonging to a taller person. His head snapped up to see a gorgeous representation of what Usagi would look like in a few more years. She was slightly taller, and her hair trailed down to her feet in silver waves. The dress she wore was much like her princess dress, except for translucent wings that peered from her back and a more generous cut to the dress that emphasized her stunning curves. She looked all grown up and very regal, even standing in that ever-widening pool of blood. Without his becoming aware of it, his own form changed. He also shot up a few more inches, towering over her even now. He felt a mask around his face, although he was not in Tuxedo Mask form, and he gripped a rapier in his other hand. He glanced down at himself slightly and found that he was clothed in a lilac tuxedo. "Excuse me, but who are you?" the vision asked. Mamoru, unbknowingly in King Endymion form, gulped and answered. "I don't know. I'm Mamoru Chiba, Tuxedo Mask, Prince Endymion, whatever you want. Just, please, come back with me. We have to take care of your wound." He was pleading with her now. Dread had long ago become his driving factor. Something was so horribly wrong. The beauty before him, which his heart knew was Usagi at some later date but which his mind couldn't understand, looked at him with kind, sapphire eyes. "I'm sorry. You seem like a very nice man, but I've never met you. I'm afraid I can't possibly go with you anywhere." She turned from his slack grasp and walked away a few feet from him. The dirty fog parted slightly so he could see a person waiting for her. Mamoru stumbled after her clumsily, although she was the one who bled profusely. He stopped suddenly as she reached the shadowy person's side and a spotlight seemed to appear on the couple. The grown-up version of Serenity was smiling as she stepped into the arms of a white-haired man wearing a white suit, a black moon adorning his forehead. The unknown man was staring right at Mamoru, and smiled knowingly at the other, baring sharp white teeth. "Hello love. Who were you talking to?" the man asked Serenity, never taking his eyes off Mamoru. "Oh, some stranger. Never seen him before in my life," she answered, looking up at him adoringly. "Well, well, well. And have you brought me what I wanted, love?" he purred. "Yes, darling," she answered guilelessly, reaching beneath the folds of her gown and producing a blood-splattered silver crystal. "Very good, my little bunny. But look, it's all bloody. We can't have that." Still looking directly into Mamoru's shocked eyes, he slowly brought the crystal to his lips and licked the blood off, then reached for Serenity's own bloodstained hands and delicately licked the red drops off each finger. Serenity did not seem to mind. "You are bleeding, love. I like that..." the man brought Serenity up hard against his body before Mamoru's confused, rejecting eyes, and claimed the sweet lips with his own. Serenity was slowly becoming more and more limp beneath the man's ravaging tongue and lips, sticky red liquid drenching her gown until it was a solid red color. The man finally released her when she was obviously dead, and let her drop to the floor in a crimson heap. As Mamoru began to scream Usagi's name over and over again in grief and horror, the man in white laughed at him and sneered: "Hello, young prince. You may wake up now." * * * <^> <^> * * * Mamoru bolted upright on the couch, gasping for breath and sweating as though he had run a marathon. This was NOT the dream he had come to expect each night. This dream, though still dealing with Usagi's death, was somehow infinitely worse. At least in his prior dreams, where that disembodied voice warned Mamoru to stay away, the outcome could go either way. Now he felt as though he were a puppet being pulled along a blank stage, and Usagi was, too. But fast on the heels of this feeling of hopelessness came rage. He was sick of all these damn dreams, and this last, new one fueled his anger all the more. So there was some sicko out there who thought he could get his hands on his Usako? Not bloody likely!! Damn it, he may have to stay away from Usako for the sake of her safety, but he wasn't about to let some psycho have her either. In fact, if he couldn't have her then no one c.... Mamoru groaned and buried his head in his hands. Great, now he was sounding like some cheesy stalker movie. What he had to do now was think things through rationally and figure out what that dream meant. Unfortunately, it hadn't been nice enough to outline to him what he should or shouldn't do, as the other dream so kindly did. All it showed was his love, running away from him into the darkness as her side bled... Oh shit, she was running away. Mamoru jumped up in realization and ran to the bedroom door. He pounded on it relentlessly, calling out Usagi's name, but knowing that his call would be unanswered. With a groan of frustration he tried the door and found it locked. Locked out of his own room!! He was beginning to get angry, and very, very worried. No longer bothering with niceties, he put one well-muscled shoulder against the door and rammed it open, already resigned to what he would find: nothing. The room was dark and empty, the balcony door conspicuously open. His heart was pounding at the only thing that could imply, that Sailor Moon had jumped out the window. Normally, such a thought wouldn't send chills running down his spine, for he knew that a jump to the other rooftops was an easy enough endeavor for the Senshi, but Sailor Moon was injured, and his dream still taunted him with unplumbed possibilities. He wasted no time in transforming into the mysterious Tuxedo Mask and striding towards the balcony, casting a fearful glance at the pavement below lest he find her broken form lying on the street. He was unaware that he was holding his breath until it whooshed out in relief. Then his eyes hardened as he brought his head up, gazing at the distant rooftops. So, the brave little fool had taken another chance with her life and left him without a word. When he found her he was going to...he was too angry to think of what he would do. But one thing was for certain: she would not escape unscathed. * * * * * * * * * * * * * Sailor Moon was, at the moment, running blithely over rooftops, headed home, completely unaware of the dark thoughts directed at her. She was absurdly pleased with herself for making the jump. The impact had jarred her only a little, and her side was healing fast enough so that the pain was bearable. If the leap had opened the wound the tiniest little bit so that it had started to bleed lightly again, she figured it was a slight price to pay for getting away from that stifling room. It took only minutes for her to reach the roof of her home, and she crept silently into her room through the open bedroom window...promptly falling on her butt as a furry feline face jumped into her line of vision. "Gyaaaaaaaah!" she squeaked, hissing through her teeth as her side protested the movement. Then her eyes focused completely on the worried little cat before her and she calmed, lightly clutching her side. "Luna!! You scared the bejeesus out of me!" "*I* scared *you*?! Do you have any idea what time it is? It's close to four in the morning!! Where have you been? I was so worried when you didn't come back during the fight. If I hadn't gone to Rei's and found out you were 'contemplating the meaning of life,'" here she cast a side-long glance at Sailor Moon," which, by the way, I won't believe until I witness it with my own eyes-I would still be wondering where you were. However, I figured you wanted to be alone--AGAIN--and came back. THAT was when I thought you'd be back at a reasonable hour! You've had me climbing the walls, now, wondering when you were going to decide to show up." Sailor Moon's eyes softened as she looked at her disgruntled cat. Luna chose this moment to look up and saw the new light of maturity in Sailor Moon's eyes. *Well, well*, thought the cat, *it seems as though Usagi is finally growing u...Argh!* Luna's thoughts were cut short as Sailor Moon scooped her up and brought her into her arms for a bone-crushing hug. "Awww, Luna, you are so CUTE!! Yes you are! Yes you are! Which little kitty does Usagi like? Hmmm? Which little..." Luna bit Sailor Moon's arm and jumped, wheezing, away from her. "If (huff huff) you ever (puff puff) talk to me (wheeze wheeze) with baby talk again (gasp gasp) I swear I'll scratch your eyes out!!" Sailor Moon looked a tad disgruntled as she brought her hand up to her brooch and detransformed; it wouldn't be smart if her mom walked in to find Sailor Moon sleeping on her bed. Now, Usagi Tsukino, in patented pink-bunny pajamas, stood over Luna, her lips in a pout. "Jeez, Luna, just trying to be a little affectionate! See if I ever rub your belly again!" Luna harrumphed. "Well, I can see you are in a fine mood tonight. Don't mind me, I'll just go sleep in Reeny's room." Tail high, Luna slipped out the door. Usagi smiled after the cat. Jeez, she really was just so darn cute. Usagi walked to her bed and flipped on the bedside lamp just long enough to inspect the wound beneath her pajama top. Her healing abilities really were spectacular, as the flesh was already turning pink as it healed. The stitches wouldn't be needed all that long, she decided. The only problem was the slight bleeding she had caused when she jumped from the balcony, but it was very sluggish in comparison to how it had been before. It had only slightly stained the bandage. Satisfied, Usagi flipped off the lamp and snuggled down into her bed. She was so tired, and the familiar surroundings were very comforting. Deciding to push all her troubles to the back of her mind, for the remainder of the night at least, she hugged a stuffed rabbit to her chest and fell deeply asleep. * * * * * * * * * * * Tuxedo Mask used his connection with Usagi to track her, easily picking up her trail and intended destination. Thus, he was not surprised when he found himself in front of her house, looking up at her darkened window. She had not beaten him here by much, but it looked like she had had enough time to settle in for the night. Well, too bad. He wasn't about to let her sleep through the lecture she had coming, and he was damned if she was gonna sleep when she had worried him sick with her escapades. Tuxedo Mask realized he was being slightly irrational--truly he did--but he was so angry at Usagi for skipping out on him like that, for not taking care of herself in her injured state, and for having told him that she would welcome death. That was it, most of all. He could not wait until morning for her to clarify her statement. It was still eating him up inside, filling him with doubts and anxiety. And maybe his last dream still lingered in his mind, and he wanted to reassure himself that his Usako was not, indeed, forgetting him. With these rationalizations he jumped agilely up on her roof, peering into her open bedroom window. He hoped that Luna wasn't there, although he knew he could cajole her into his point of view once she knew about all the risks Usagi had taken tonight. Thankfully, however, he could not make out any furry black shape at the foot of Usagi's bed. He stepped through the window fully, coming to stand beside the sleeping girl. Usagi was curled up around a stuffed animal, her lashes lying thick and peaceful on her porcelain cheeks. She slept on a bed of golden hair, and quite simply took his breath away...until he remembered the hell she had just put him through. Stomping on all tender feelings, he bent over her and nudged her shoulder, ready to clap a hand over her mouth if she was startled enough to scream. "Hmmm, ice cream, so much ice cream... Yummm." Tuxedo Mask straightened abruptly, a bit disconcerted. Then he tried again. Nudge, Nudge. "Five more minutes, Luna, I swear...potatoes, with butter..." Tuxedo Mask rolled his eyes heavenward. This was gonna take a while. "Usagi!! Usagi, wake up!" he whispered in her ear harshly. With grim satisfaction Tuxedo Mask watched Usagi's eyes flutter open, and widen, and her mouth open... "Eeeeekmmphhhh," she mumbled, effectively silenced by Tuxedo Mask's gloved hand. Her eyes were shocked and disoriented until she finally focused enough to see who had awakened her. Then they filled with a sad kind of dread, like a prisoner walking to the gallows. "Hmm, I can tell you're happy to see me, right? After that stunt you pulled, I'm about ready to expect ANYTHING from you. So," he said, leaning down very close to her face, "why don't we take this little conversation somewhere where I can scream at you to my heart's content?" In a fluid motion he scooped Usagi out of the bed, sheets and all, and leapt out the window. Usagi never had a chance to say a single word. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * There ya go! Sorry for the lack of action, but this story centers mostly on Usagi and Mamoru's muddled relationship (which we all know is Mamoru's fault!) I'm trying really hard to have a new chapter every week, but finals are coming up...Well, we'll see. Ciao!