Title: Who Killed Usagi? Author: Sailor Bunny Rating: PG Disclaimer: The usual. Yah, I'm lazy Email: smoonshroom@yahoo.com Site: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Bridge/7255/smoon.html This is my totally whacked out story. I'm wayyy hyper. Too much cheese hehe! Oh and Detective Bunny is MOI! Haha I'm famous! On with the story!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The setting: Dim, very dim. Black and white with kewl smoke floating around. And here's me, Detective Bunny, sitting in my kewl chair with my trenchcoat and hat. And this is my story. Yep, this is MY story of a murder mystery. I had to find out WHO KILLED USAGI TSUKINO?!?!?! Bom bom bommmmm.... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ So here I am, at the Tsukino residence. The parents you say? Gone. Out shopping that is. And me? Yah, me. I'm here investigating a murder mystery. I have called Usagi's best friends here. I pace up and down, the others watching intently...curiously... guiltily. Bwuahahahaha! (AN: hehe sorry couldn't help it) "Welll?!?! Are ya gonna tell us why we're here ya basket case????" Rei screams at me. I angrily wave my bubble pipe at her. "Shhh!! I am here for a very important reason..I am here..investigating.. the murder of..USAGI TSUKINO!!!!" Bom bom bommmm!! Ten people gasp. "Noooo!!!" Mamoru screams, falling to his knees. "Eh, shut up loverboy. Get over it. Now, one of you ten are the GUILTY ones who killed USAGI TSUKINO!!!" I stare at them attentivly (ooh big word big word! Bunny gets a lollipop!). I blow into my bubble pipe. The ten people look at each other, trying to figure out WHO killed her. "Now, I will begin my questioning. I will begin with... AMI MIZUNO!!!!!!!" She gasps, stepping back a little. "Me? I..I..I wouldn't kill Usa-chan! She's my FRIEND!!" she stutters. Haha, just like the guilty ones. "Uh uh! You're not going anywhere smartie!! Now, how long have you known dearrrr Usagi?" "Umm..about 2 years." "I see...." I continue pacing for another five minutes, blowing on my bubble pipe. "AMI MIZUNO, IS IT TRUE AT ONE POINT YOU WERE JEALOUS OF USAGI TSUKINO?!?!?!" I screech, waving my dear dear bubble pipe. She jumps back, scared of my sudden..ahem..outburst. "Well.. yes..at one point." "AHA!! So you DID kill her! I knew it!!!" I dance around like a mad woman. "NO!!! NO IT'S NOT TRUE!!!" She pleads. I smirk. "Hmm, mayyybe not. Maybe some one ELSE killed Usagi. Some one like....REI HINO!!!!" She rolled her eyes. "I didn't kill her, baka! Usagi's my best friend!" "Suuuure that's what they ALL say! Rei Hino, is it true you scream and yell and make fun of Usagi?" "Yeah. So?" "SO YOU KILLED HER!!! JACKSON, LOCK HER UP!!!" I yelled. My idiot policeman woke up. "Huh? Wuh?" I sigh. It's sooo hard to find good help these days! "Jackson..this lady is guilty with the murder of Tsukino Usagi, baka!" "Really? But she's so hot!" Jackson pleaded. I whack him upside the head. "I did NOT kill Usagi!! She's like my sister! All sisters fight! Don't you fight with YOUR sister?" Rei screeched. "Hmmm..." ~*~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*~*~ "I'M sitting here!!!" "No, I am!!!" "I was here first!!!" "Was not!!!" "Was too!!!" ~*~*~*~*~Flashback end*~*~*~*~ "Nope." I say, smiling sweetly. (I'm so gosh darn KAWAII!!!) "But mayyybe you DIDN'T do it! Maybe it was...MAKOTO!!!" I point at her. "Huh? No way! I may be a karate maniac, but I'd never do that!" She yelled, looking menacingly at me. *Gulp* "Heh heh.. Okie I believe ya. Hmm.." I look at Minako, who was popping her gum and twirling her hair. Nope, she definatly couldn't have done it! I look at Mamoru, who was sniffling, trying not to cry. What a wuss! But kinda hunky..okie Bunny, focus. He's definatly guilty. "Mr. Chiba! Is it TRUE that you used to HATE Miss Tsukino?" I question, acting high n mighty. I love myself! "Huh? Well..I never HATED her. I always liked her, but I teased her. It was the only way to get her attention. What? You think I would kill my beloved Usako? Ohh Usako!!" He cried, falling into a fit of tears. I rolled my eyes. Nope, not this one. "Haruka?" I question. She looked angrily at me, like she would kill ME! That answered MY question! "Michiru?" She looked sadly at me, shaking her head. Nope. I looked at Hotaru. Just a kid. Nope. I look at Setsuna and smile. YEP! "SETSUNA!" I yell, shaking my bubble pipe. She glanced up at me with that cool..calm..GUILTY look. "Yes, Detective Bunny?" "Setsuuunnaaaa..I happen to know for a FACT..well, maybe not a fact, but I'm pretty sure of it..some one told me..anyways, IS IT TRUUUUE thaaat you are jealous of Usagi?" I shook my eyebrows up and down and blew into my bubble pipe. "I do not know what you are talking about Detective Bunny." She clutched her big huge scary key tighter. "LIAR!!! JACKSON, TAKE HER IN NOWWWWW!!!" I danced around laughing. "Uhh..why again?" Jackson asked, hidinga donut behind him. "SHE KILLED USAGI YOU STUPID MAN YOU!!" I grabbed the donut and took a big bite of it. "Mmm chocolate." "Duhhh..really?" He tried to grab the donut back, but I whacked him upside the head with my bubble pipe. "I did NOT kill Sere..I mean Usagi!" She snuffed (Is that a word?) "Sere..who's Sere? YOU KILLED *ANOTHER* PERSON??" I screeched. "No! I forgot who we were talking about." Setsuna looked down and fidled (Hehe kewl word) with her skirt. "LLLIARRRRR!!!" I glared. "Ugh, I did NOT kill ANYONE!!!!" She waved her big key. I stepped back a little. "Yeah..yeah right. I know that YOU are JEALOUS cos YOU like MAMORUUU!!! HAHAHAHA score one for Bunny!" I laughed maniaclly. Everyone gasped and looked at Setsuna. She sweatdropped. "Umm.. uhh..heh heh...I'm still now JEALOUS.." She ran out of the room "Eh, she's too weird to have killed her." I rolled my eyes then looked at Chibi Usa. "Chiiibi Usaaaa..now HERE's a pipsqeak who's guilty!" I laughed at her. "I WOULND'T KILL MY MOMMY YOU STUPID FAT SQUIRREL!!!" (I am NOT a fat squirrel I'm 98 pounds! I weigh less than you guys, Jamie, Meagan, Anna, and all the rest! So hush your mouths!) I ran at her and prepared to hit her, when Jackson took my hand I glared at him. "I love my mommy and if you arrest me, I'm gonna act worse than your sisters!" I glared. ~*~*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Lindsey (that's me, detective bunny), get up here and feed the baby!" "Make Kathy (my sister)! She's not doing anything." "Yes I am! I'm watching tv." "Get up here and feed her Lindsey!" "But I'm sick! It's not fairrrrrr!" ~*~*~*~*~End of Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Ugh, fine. But if you didn't kill Usagi...and none of YOU guys did...then who?" We all sat huddled around, looked every direction. "Hey, minna, what's going on?" We all snapped our heads back to the voice coming from the stairs. "USAGI!" Everyone cried, running towards her, hugging her. "ACK! Air is good! What's going on?!?!" Usagi screamed, pushing everyone off her. "Oh Usakooo! Detective Bunny said you were killed and we were all so scarrred!" Mamoru held her. Whatta wuss! Everyone turned to glare at me. "Uhh heh heh, can't you people take a joke? Heh heh heh..guys?" They all ganged up on me. "AAAGGGGHHHH HELP!! RABID SENSHI ARE ATTACKING MEEEE!" I screamed, running down the street. THE ENDDDD! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Hahahaha! I'm done I'm done! Yay! I'm havin a lil bit of writers block with my fic, For You, so it'll be a while before I get Part 2 up. I'm trying to figure different ways to kill people and how to do them. Morbid, huh? I'm also writing two more. One is It's All About the Money, bout a robber (Darien) who robs a bank then takes off in a girl (Serena)'s car, with her in it! The other one is still Untitled, bout the time when Mamoru and Usagi broke up. I don't want to put them in any different parts though. Please email me with questions, comments, suggestions, anything. Just don't call me a fat squirrel cos I'm not fat, I'm verrry thin. So shut up guys! Email me! Sailor Bunny sailorbunny21@yahoo.com