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(Note: This is one of those I-Can't-Get-To-Sleep entries that I wrote at 3 in the afternoon and may seem kind of disjointed and you totally won't get any of it if you aren't a Trekkie)
I love Star Trek. I wish it was real and I wish I was a Captain and that I got to say cool things like "Make it so!" and, well, that's the only cool thing I can think of but I would say it a lot.
The thing that's great about Star Trek is that they go to all these different planets and meet all these different people and they're all exactly the same. I mean, every planet has one government and one language and one culture and most times even just one climate.
And no one thinks this is odd or ever even questions it, even the ones from Earth who have six hundred different governments and languages and cultures and climates. I mean, like at the beginning of an episode someone will come up to the Captain and say
"Approaching Beta Thesaurus III, sir."
"What can you tell me, ensign?"
"It's a desert planet and the people are very war-like."
Which means that the entire planet is a desert and that everyone on it acts a certain way. Naturally.
Or take the Vulcans for example. At one time they were a very war-like people whose emotions nearly destroyed them, until Surak showed them the Path of Logic and, fortunately, every single Vulcan in the universe agreed with him. Maybe I should amend that, because some of them didn't agree, but fortunately for all concerned, every single one of them left and went off and started their own planet and became Romulans.
Let's assume that these were humans. Let's even assume that 80% of them agreed to the logic thing.
- Of the 80% who agreed to the logic thing, 75% would say "I'm really happy about this logic thing...o no, wait, I'm not supposed to be happy anymore...o no, wait, screw this!"
- Of the ones who still agreed to be logical, 100% would say "Yeah, but that doesn't mean we have to be logical all the time!"
- Of the 20% who had decided to leave and become Romulans, 98% would say "Why are we the ones leaving when they're the ones who want to change everything? Screw this, let's have another war!"
- Of the rest who still wanted to leave, none would be able to get the spaceships to work
Maybe Vulcans are different than us. On Earth we can't even agree on which way to unroll the toilet paper.
And it's not just the science-grokking, warp-driving, computer-brained Vulcans, either. Even when they go to like an Amish planet they still have one government and one language. And they can always, always, always characterize an entire race in one sentence. Just once I would like to see someone get offended by this.
"Approaching Beta Thesaurus III, sir."
"Well done, Mr. Data. What are the people like?"
"What do you mean, sir?"
"What are they like? Are they peace-loving, adventurous, spiritual....what?"
"They are individuals, sir. Each one can be characterized by any number of traits based on their temperament, upbringing, income level, or genetic predispositions."
"Yes, but what of their culture? How do they act? What do they value?"
"I certainly wouldn't presume to characterize an entire culture by..."
"Ok, nevermind."
My favorite are the Klingons. I don't know why. I guess because, in a universe based on mutual respect and peace, the Klingons speak to that part of me deep inside and say "It's ok to be annoyed." Because the Klingons are always annoyed. They don't like anyone. They don't even like each other.
Klingons are never depressed, either. They never do any deep soul-searching or yearning or regretting, or at least if they do it involves beating the crap out of each other and then getting drunk. I mean, there's no whining or crying and everything they want is right there in front of them. It's like a beer commercial in space.
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