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She takes a dozen hits of 'e'
And makes a meatloaf just for me;
She'll dance all night in skin-tight skirts,
Then darn my socks and flannel shirts.
From Donna Reed to that skank, Pink
In half the time it takes to blink...
She's future, present, and the past,
And even though you blink real fast
She's a betty, She's a betty, She's a betty
She's Britney Spears, she's Estelle Getty,
She'll rock your world and hold you steady
She's a Betty
She'll wake you gently, sweet and fair,
Then vomit while you hold her hair,
And treat your bunny's sniffly cough,
Then bite the poor thing's head clean off.
She's everything that's soft and fluffy,
And half those demon things on Buffy,
And though you sense her evil plot,
She's everything you want, or not...
She's a betty, She's a betty, She's a betty
She's floor-length skirts and leather teddys
Or that girl from Diff'rent Strokes named Freddy
She's a Betty
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