I hate when cults send guys in suits to knock upon my door
I hate when cashiers greet me when I walk into the store
I can't stand barbershop quartets that sing in harmony
Or movie names that start with words that end in I-N-G
I hate the way a dog smells when it comes in from the rain
I can't stand eating tongues or feet or pancreas or brains
Black licorice, or neck tatoos, or girls who shave their heads
And little yippy dogs and salads served in pita bread
I'd hate to win a million bucks, then take it all in ones
I can't stand Archie Bunker and I'm kind of scared of nuns
Lawyers, mimes, and traffic cops all tend to make me mad
The Olsen twins, and....o no, wait, their new show's not so bad
I don't like hippys, Communists, or socialists, or Reds
I would've hated Hitler and I'm kinda glad he's dead
I don't like Broadway musicals, at least the ones I've seen
Or that guy who goes "Hey, Verne!" and sticks his face up to the screen
There are so many things to see upon this big, blue ball
Yet so few people take the time to really hate them all
