Dream Dates

They say love is blind. I say, love is blind, deaf, and dumb.....and bipolar, and dissociative, and retarded.

I've written a lot in here about romantic love, and relationships and marriage. But that's because it's everywhere. All the time. And not only that, but all people ever talk about is the romantic, overwhelming, emotional first love kind of thing. I've said that before, too. I don't want to start repeating myself, because I tend to do that, especially when I'm talking out loud and I think I made a good point.

All I got to say about it now, though, is that this romantic "rush", the one that only lasts a short time, is what most people think love is. Which is stupid, in and of itself, but worse, it makes people stupid. They worry over every little disagreement. They're blind to each other's faults. It's all this emotional up and down, all the time. It's worse than dealing with a pregnant woman. Except for the whole eating thing.

A girl could be dating Chaka, the little monkey-boy from "Land of The Lost", and think he was SO CUTE! "Sure, he's hairy, but he has the cutest little overbite!" She would completely overlook the fact that he was 3-foot-4, and that when he met her parents he flung his own crap at them. Of course, she would lose all her old friends, and even when her brother tells her that its weird to be hanging out all the time with the Sleestacks guarding the Time Portal, she tells him "You just don't understand Chaka! I love him! Shut up!" And she says Chaka isn't all about killing Mastadons, and he'll be a great poet one day if he ever develops language.

Chicks aren't the only ones, either. It would be the same for a guy dating Witchypoo from "H.R. Puf'N'Stuff". One day he would be like, o man, Witchypoo is SO AWESOME!!! And the next day, yah, we broke up, she turned my head into a mushroom and can't get over this "golden flute" fixation. Just back and forth, all the time.

People are so stupid.

80's Music

It's 80s night on the radio station. Wow! There was a lot of good music that came out in the 80s! Unfortunately, they're not playing any of it tonight. They're playing like Cindi Lauper and Culture Club. A lot of 80s music was crap, like all those big-haired metal bands that were all like cartoons. And all their lyrics sound like they were written by retarded third graders.

Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

Do these lyrics ring true to anyone, like deep, and meaningful?

I have a great idea. You know how "Grease" was all about the 50's, and "Hair" was all about the 60's? Well, why don't they make a lavish Broadway musical about the 80's?

What could it be about? Would it be called "Glam" and be all about the androgynous metal bands? A musical version of "Wall Street" with Matthew Broderick in the lead role? A revival of "West Side Story" with punks and preppies? The birth of rap music? The breakdancing phenomena?

I know what the 70's musical would be about. "Hostage: 100 Days In Iran". Can a struggling aide to the embattled American Ambassador find love in the besieged American Embassy while being held hostage by terrorists?

Velvet Elvis

Who decides what's good art? Seriously. I mean, something like asthetics is so subjective. I could understand if it was like, the more a painting of a tree looks like a real tree, the better it's considered to be. But it doesn't work that way. You have romanticists, impressionists, modernists, even cubists. Degas, Picasso, Monet, van Gogh.

I appreciate art, ok? I'm not one of those ignorant hayseeds who says all artsy types are frauds just because he doesn't get it. On the other hand, I would rather have an original "Dogs Playing Poker" than "Starry Night".

But who decides that paintings of Elvis done in acrylic on black velvet is not fine art? What thin German socialist gets to say who is talented and who isn't? I don't like this set-up.

It seems to me that Picasso could have blown his nose and signed the hanky and it would be worth a million dollars.I reckon just his signature would be worth half that even so, but still you would have all these arrogant Europeans who were 60 pounds underweight and dressed all in black gather round it and talk about what depth and meaning that blob of snot has.

Obviously, I never took a course in Art Appreciation. But even though I think a lot of these artsy types can be snobbish about it, I don't think courses in Art Appreciation are useless. There's always new and different ways of looking at things. And a redneck can be just as snobbish about his velvet Elvis paintings and sculptures of aliens made from hubcaps, as all the Bohemian hippys are about their impressionist masterpieces. I think that in art, just as in life, there has to be some middle ground.