Hi John. Actually, something very strange, but good happened last night that has sort of changed my dating status. A gentleman that I had dated for about 4 and a half months (April thru Sept) called me yesterday and asked to get together last night to talk. We had broken up in mid Sept because I felt like we wanted different things from the relationship. Truth be told, I had fallen for him pretty hard, but didn't think he was ready to get serious. He has two children that he is father to 24/7 -- no ex in the picture -- and there were some concerns and issues there. So, I told him as nicely and gently as possible that although I thought the world of him and adored his kids, the situation was not a good one for me and my daughter.

Apparently, he took a lot of what I said to heart and has spent the last 6 weeks making serious changes. He waited to call me until the changes had been implemented and some success had been achieved, so that he could "prove his devotion to our relationship". In the end, he asked me to marry him and I accepted. There are still some issues to work out, but I feel like they are very doable, now that the major concerns have been addressed.

 

To be honest, I didn't think I would hear from him again. I had thought that the majority of the interest was one-sided (me in him) and that there was no way he was going to change his life around for someone he wasn't that serious about. Turns out he had already started working on a few things before I broke up with him and didn't know exactly how to verbalize his feelings and what he was trying to do. He told me that my walking away was the catalyst he needed to get his head out of his....ummm...posterior.

 

So, long story short, I will be removing myself from the dating scene. I wish you greatest luck in your endeavours to find a good relationship. You are an attractive, intelligent, funny man and are going to make some lucky lady very happy.

 

Take care and God bless,

--S

 

 

One of my old boyfriends lived with his parents, and I have a lot of reservations about getting into a similar relationship again. I don't want to judge you, and I apologize for my fear, but I think I will pursue other matches online. I wish you the best of luck on your search. I know it is hard being a single parent. I think you will find someone who is just right for you. Enjoy your kids, and take care!--Heather

 

 

Well, thanks, Liz. I post these rejections here mostly because I think they're funny. The fact is, this particular woman was clearly misrepresenting her age, and I had some serious questions about her, but I was more than willing to give her a chance. I don't believe that things are as black and white as she apparently does; I prefer to think of possibilities. I agree that she seems very small-minded but it's hard to fault someone for being cautious or even fearful, especially when they have children. She just is who she is and is doing the best that she can. But thanks for your kind words.

 

 

Question: In your personal opinion, what do you understand it takes for a person to get to heaven?

 

I don't think of Heaven as a place you "get into" as much as finding the One whom you're seeking. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Only Way, but I also believe that salvation is more than intellectually accepting a set of historical facts (i.e., that He died and rose again). I believe as C.S. Lewis did and as Paul wrote in Romans chapter 2, that God reveals Himself to us in many ways, and that if we seek Him in our hearts, we'll find Him; if we knock, the door will be opened to us. Likewise, Hell is not something that God imposes on us, but something that we choose ourselves. I believe that if we seek Him in all that we do, and never believe that we know enough (that we've already found Him, that our understanding is complete), He will reveal Himself to us in ways we wouldn't imagine. God is not Some abstract I logically accept; He is the One I seek in my heart every hour of every day! Like all of His commandments, it's very simple to understand, but much harder to practice every day!

 

Your answer to my "How to get to Heaven" question was a ear full. I had to read it a couple of time to really digest it. I also have to admit, I am inerested in what you are looking for in eastern philosophy, as you listed in your profile. Nothing like jumping into deep subjects right off the bat!!

 

Well, maybe one day we can have a real conversation about it, but for now I'm just glad that you're keeping an open mind. Too many people who claim to be "Christians" are just way too closed off to anything outside their level of comfort. People talk about "faith" as if it's something that you have to accept, intellectually, without questioning it or testing it. The Apostle Paul said that God's Truth is everywhere, that's it's written in all of creation, and imprinted in our conscience, and I believe that there are remnants of God's truth in all faiths and philosophies. It's just in how we perceive it. I have a friend who teaches a Sunday School class on biblical themes in movies, and they're just regular Hollywood movies, yet she manages to find Biblical lessons in all of them. And yet there are Christians whose faith is threatened by that, rather than being reinforced by it? I don't understand. My faith is about peace and joy, and my God is bigger than that.

 

I have to admit the buddist stuff makes me nervous. If you believe Jesus is the only way what are you looking for there? And back to the Heaven/hell thing... do you believe they are real places? I think I need to work out some of these thing before we begin communicating on the phone. Please be patient with me.

 

I don't know that I'm looking for anything other than Truth. I seek God in all that I do and I find His Truth everywhere. As to why I go to their Temple.....I don't know that there's a simple answer.

Let me just ask you one thing, if I may: Are you open to possibilities? I know that you, like everyone else alive, have the idea of what your life should be, the man you want to be with, and what a Christian life should be like....but are you open to the possibilities that God presents you with? What if His plan for you is completely different than what you have in mind? Do you believe that there are possibilities outside of what you already believe or understand about God?

I go to the Buddhist Temple and I meet with people there and we discuss our faith and they challenge me to consider things I may not have thought before. And I know that my just being there is making them confront possibilities about Jesus Christ that never occurred to them (my friend Jeong had his Temple in Korea fire-bombed twice by "Christians" and, unfortunately, that's all he ever knew about Jesus before he met me....and if I am all he ever knew about Jesus, believe me, he's got a long way to go!)

So why am I there? Did God place me there for them, or them for me? I don't know, but I'm open to the possibilities that He presents me with, and I go where He leads. I understand your reluctance about all this. So tell me, what about it makes you nervous?

 

I am open to the idea that Baptists don't have all the answers to everything in life and beyond. I also am very open to the opportunity to share the love and truth of Jesus with those of other faiths. I realize it is a delicate thing to present the unchanging truth while keeping the lanes of communcation open. I have always been drawn to the story of the woman at the well. Jesus pointed out the sin in her life and it drew her to him!!!! How did He do that? I know that Jesus pure intentions allowed her to hear him. But it is still hard to know how to handle certain situations.

I guess what makes me nervous is the idea of stepping too far into the buddist philosoph and moving away from the truth. It seems like it would be confusing. Is your motive solely to witness to people at the temple?

 

I guess my question is: What is it specifically about the Buddhist philosophy that you object to? Why do you think that studying something you don’t know anything about is “moving away from the truth”?

And as for my motives....That would suggest that I was doing this for myself. God led me to go, to investigate, to speak to them, to learn....I didn't ask why. I just did it.

I'm not confused. I've seen the Holy Spirit move among the Buddhists at their own Temple; they just don't have a word for it. Many of them are open to the possibility of what God wants to show them. Maybe my purpose is just to show it to them? Maybe their purpose is to show me how God moves in their lives?

I just don't know. It's not necessary that I know, because I trust God.

 

MATCH CLOSED

On 09 February 2007 05:07 PM Pacific Time   Lori chose to permanently close communication with you for the following reason(s):

• I think the difference in our values is too great.
• Other

 

I was also talking to someone else over the last week...and I feel there is more chemsitry between him and I then you and I...I am going to meet him for coffee this week and I would like to see where that goes...I just feel there is more of a connection....and he lives within 10 mins fo where I live...I just want to see where that may lead