My parents are twins - patrick
Kinder Uberaschung (kinder surprises) have
turkmenestan in them and that's what keeps you awake - Cat
Who's a big woman from the 60s? - Harriett
Why would anyone want to lubricate me? - Harriett
Fudge Packer Hall: Newstead Wood
Children are getting too old these days.
- Nicky
That's bare mileage on the sock! - random
pikey
Oh are you doing a big job? - Nicky to
her Dad
Then lav burped quietly into a bush - Jenny
She's fallen for the vicar! - Jenny
what, Sarah Broadbents Dad!? - Esther
Ian.....or Mum.... - Lewis about Ian in a skirt
It's all gone horribly wrong! - Lewis from
inside the tent.hahaha
Get your willy pierced! - Ian
It's ok, i've got wind - Esther
My mum works in a doctors surgery and she never sees any action. - Nicky
Would you like a finger? - Nickys dad
-Have you got protection?
-What??
-Have you got protection, from the rain? - cat's dad and cat
I think matt would give you a good ... analysis. - nicky
Right girls, legs apart. - Cat's choir master.
There seems to be quite a lot of activity under the bench girls - Biology Teacher
It's only brown where the sun doesn't shine - Anna talking about Esther's hair
Theres a naked woman too, just for the
men, ohhhhh - Caz sounding disappointed
Tits, bums dicks (what you look for in a man) - Caz
I have a habit of making sense...a bit too long - Mr Rox (crazy irish man)
You never put anything on in a lab - Chemistry Teacher
I don't know why anyone would dump me (teeth in front of bottom lip in manner of
rabbit)....oh, mayb coz im weird - Nicky
People with blue hair and blonde eyes is just stereotypical - Esther
I don't find Buffy sexually attractive. I like spike.....err but not in that
way - Mr Deane
It would be like biting a big sausage! - Nicky
How do you spell sausage? sagage - Laura B
Are you sucking, are you sucking hard? - Esther (try saying that while sucking
a sweet, you will be pleasantly surprised)
And now we make the circumcision - Nicky (meaning incision)
I did a special wangle for Nicole - Mrs Smart
Apparently she's had a blow job! - Carrie (meaning nose job)
To prevent contraception, wear a condomonium - Random person
There's those birds with really long, colourful tongues, you know...Pecans! - Esther
(meanings beaks not tongues and Tucan not Pecan, stupid)
Name a character from Midsummer Nights Dream: erm Webnob! no, John Pie! oh....dammit
- Esther
Who's got a cheeky little fruitcake? - Nicky
For years Uncle Tom played a willy game and avoided entanglements. Then he met
his match in Ethel Mansel.... - Nicole (reading from ''Cider with Rosie'')
Would the girl having a nervous breakdown in her pencilcase please do it somewhere else? Mrs Kemal
I'm going to sleep now, do you want to go to sleep with me Esther? - Nicky, oh the shame
Vendria, pero no tengo espermo - Nicky, works very hard in Spanish lessons
- I think he's the sweetest
- The fittest?
- No, the sweetest
- Oh, the fleetest
- I'll tell you later - Esther and Nicky
Erectile Vomiting - Caz
Devon's not a camical test, er, i mean camels testical - Cat
-whats a cuboid?
-a 3D cube - zoe
-all he does is play bass.
-does what???
-plays bass.
-masturbates??
-NO! plays bass! - Nicky and cat (hearing wrongly...retard) before a gig
Can i pinch your thingy? - man on the train
Put the thingy in the hole and do the robot - Harriett
yeah she was really good wasnt she - cat overhearing 2 men talking in the office after coming out from
the room at the back
What's that in your mouth Liam? Is it something dirty? - Teacher at Nicky's work experience
it was really sweet...and he was playing with my hairy bit - Olivia
I learnt ''to give a blow job''! - Esther, its not what it sounds like
Cat goes down so easily. - Gary
Every time we say your name he pricks up - Nicky
Doesn't lubricant feel weird in your mouth - Gary
Someone's trimmed my bush - esther's mum
She fell off the back of the wall and got pricks all over her - Caz
Someone would have 2 go down and give her head... air - Cat
I can't get it up any more than that without it deflating - Nicky
On the 3rd blow it spits - Nicky
Air cockey - Cat
I use him as my piddle - esther (meaning pillow)
Shingle! Do the shingle! - Chris (meaning shimmey)
Can you turn the lights back on, we are trying 2 play and we can't see our cocks. - Chris
I can't cunt - Heather (meaning can't count)
By my watch..it is time! - Mr Trent standing like Jesus
Would you 4 do me...... - Mr Deane
Give me boys any day - Mrs Lucas (v v old woman, said whilst sucking a biro)
You are so strict with me - Frau Freelove
If they both start pulling hard on... - Mr Trent
I'm comfy to FUCK! - Lora (falling off her chair)
How big are your... knots?
Can i feel your... potatoes? - overheard in biology lessons
How can people in America get away with the death penalty? - Lora
You give me a good feeling - Frau Freelove (to Cat)
Dr Dawson would like her sperm and testes back first thing tommmmorrow morning which is the 21.10.03. She has already
taken Annabelle's upthrust from her. You know what i mean... wink wink nudge nudge!!! - note found on the white board in the
form room one morning.
I have sleepless nights when i think of you. - Frau Freelove (to Jenny)
Nicky! stop spanking the cock so hard! - lora
If i do this i can make you wet too - Esther
and then the Earl of Essex became Queen
Placing the throne on her head is what killed her
- Miss Lendrin, dumb history teacher
Girls i wanna see some action - Mr Patrick
I have to keep my population down - Joe
