Grace



Jack- Karen, take me to your dentist. I feel my teeth are dull and people are laughing at me.

Grace- Oh Jack, that's not why people are laughing.


Jack- Grace did you know I was gay when you met me?

Grace- My dog knew.


Karen- You know, I didn't know there were people who were actually named Ira.

Grace- I don't know if there are people named Ira either, but that was his name.


Grace- And I was at Bloomingdale's this morning waiting in line to buy wrinkle cream, and this Jennifer-Love-Michelle-Sarah-Felicity looking thing bumps into me and says, "Excuse me, ma'am."


Will- So now you're skipping work all together?!

Grace- No I called in sick.

Will- Called who? You're the boss.

Grace- I know it was a strange conversation. If I do it again I'm going to fire me.


Will- Did you eat salami today?

Grace- No, did you wash your face with ugly soap?


Grace- Don't answer that! It's...It's probably just the...the wind blowing a pinecone against the door three times in rapid succession.


Grace- Oh common Will, I've done things for you that are just as bad as this without even batting an eye.

Will- Name one!

Grace-...I won't belittle this with examples.