Jack


Jack- There are no straight men, only men that haven't met Jack.


Karen- Oh I want a drag name, give me a drag name.

Drag Queen- Okay sugar, here's how you do it. Take the name of your first pet and the first street you lived on.

Karen- Shu-Shu Fontana. Oh, it's cute. Honey, honey come here. What would your name be?

Jack- Glen 125th.


Jack- Oh my very own sexless marriage, just like Will and Grace.


Will- Oh you girls are going to have a ball! Braiding eachothers hair and talking about boys and doing the Cosmo quiz.

Jack- You mean like how to tell if your bestfriend's a bitch? Yeah I already took it, you are.


Jack- Good work Nancy Drew! Lets meet up at Old Mystery Creek!


Jack- What do you think of my glasses? What do they say?

Will- They say...Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.

Jack- And Guys don't make passes at guys with fat asses.


Jack- Holy dirty apartment fatman!


Jack- So what's cookin' average lookin'?


Will- That's not funny.

Jack- It's not? Wait let me think about it just for a minute...yeah, it's pretty funny.


Will- So you wanna have dinner tonight?

Jack- Wait a minute, what, what's going on here?

Will- I like you.

Jack- Since when?

Will- Always.

Jack- I don't like where this is going.