Magneto
On your left is the X-men Evolution Magneto, on the right, the old 1990's Fox Kids X-men.
Looks:Okay well...hrmm both have the same shitty taste in color co-ordination, although 90's Mags seems to wear
brighter shades of them. X-Evo Mags seems to have a little more of the 'i am evil' vibe going on, where as 90's Mags
just kind looks like a fruit.
Goals: Both Magneto's seem to have the same goals, mutants are number one, humans suck. blah blah blah. But which one
actually did more damage?
Evo Mags forms the Looser-hood, mutates himself further (and tries to do the same to others)
forms the Acolytes, makes mutants public, tries to beat the shit out of Apcolypse and looses.
90's Mags tries to gets mutants to unite and lets loose a couple of nukes while he's at it, helps destroy Master Mold,
creates Asteroid M, helps destroy the Phalanx.
The difference? Evo Mags seems to start tons of shit, but never finishes it and 90's Mags turns good too easy. Wimp.
Voice: This is the really fun part...Evo Mags sounds fairly normal, perhaps trying to sound like the movie Magneto a little too
much but what the heck right? 90's Mags on the other hand sounds so hilarious, he's got this weird pitch which is oddly charming until he starts
moaning and whimpering about his tragic war-ish past.
"Xavier Noooooooooooooo, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnn!"
Heeeheeee!
Total: Evo Mags wins
Sabertooth
Looks: I think it's pretty damn obvious which one is better. Evo Sabertooth looks like a dirty wrestler who lives out in the wild,
he's got long feral hair and gothic nailpolish, where as 90's Sabertooth looks like he's naked half the time.
I mean really, who wears PEACH spandex?
Goals: Both are lackeys, both hate Wolverine, but I'd have to say that 90's Sabertooth probably did more to piss Wolvie off.
Voice:Evo Sabertooth is all growley, where as 90's Sabertooth sounds like a high pitch whinny guy trying to be growley.
Total: Evo Sabertooth wins 2/1
Mystique
Looks: I have to vote for 90's Mystique, somehow she just looks sexier, without the aid of vynil or anything. Plus she's
got that rockin belt of skulls instead of just the one, that and she doesn't have helmut hair, unlike Evo Mystique.
Goals: In the 90's cartoon Mystique originally worked with Apcolypse at first, where as Evo Mystique works with Mags. Both are manipulative,
lying, formitable ladies, but again, 90's Mystique was less of a wimp. She was ruthless and didn't care about anyone but herself, save Rogue.
Voice: again the vote goes to 90's Mystique because she had a sneakier voice where as Evo-Mystique has only an angry voice.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr, arg.
Total: 90's Mystique wins hands down
Avalanche
Looks: Oh come on, it's so 90's Avalanche. Look at him, he is so sexy. Rrrrower.
Thank you lord for sarcasm.....
Goals: Well both of them were only around to smash things, but my vote goes for Evo-Lance because he's got a slightly larger
agenda: Smash things, get into Kitty's panties, makes rock puns.
Voice: Evo-Lance by a long shot, 90's Avalanche sounded like a burly speacial-ed student on downers.
Total: Evo Lance wins hands down, Rock on.
Pyro
Looks: Evo-Pyro wins, I mean c'mon...90's Pyro looks like some sort of weird bug....bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Goals: Urmm...both were lackeys, cept Evo-Pyro works for Mags where as 90's Pyro worked for Mystique...so I dunno. Kind of a tie I guess.
Voice: This is a tough one, Evo-Pyro sounds like a looney but 90s Pyro made a horrible pun
(in the mood for a hot date?)........aww who am I to kid, I'm a sucker for puns. 90's Pyro all the way.
Total: A tie
Blob
Looks: Both are fat peices of crap. But at least Evo-Blob has the good sense to NOT wear spandex so he wins.
(that and his hair is slightly better...)
Goals: Evo-Blob, purely for the fact that at least he has goals other than eating, like date-raping Jean.
Voice: Hrmm.......they both sound slow and stupid, but I'll go with Evo-Blob because he's funnier.
Total: Evo Blob wins
Omega Red
Looks: Let's see....both have gay high pony tails, ghastly white faces, and wear red oven mits.....
aww fuck it, they both look retarded.
Goals: 90's Red wins, mainly for the fact that he was in more than one friggin episode and he actually
hurt people with his tentacles. Evo-Red is a wimp, he kept passing out. WUSSY!!!
Voice: 90's Red again, he sounded more intimidating. Evo-Red sounds...WUSSY!
Total: 90's Red wins
Calitso
Looks: Evo-Calisto. Totally. I mean c'mon, do you remember the 90's Calisto? She had no BOOBS.
Seriously, when I was little and saw that episode for the first time I THOUGHT she was a GUY...then I had to wonder
why she wanted Scott if she was a dude and that led to some awkward discussions with my parents....
Goals: Evo-Calisto, she does more shit. 90's Calisto just sort of sat around in the poo-gas and bitched about
how freaky the Morlocks were and how they couldn't leave the damned sewers, nevermind the fact that SHE looks totally
normal........
Voice: 90's Calisto, she had this weird shman voice that just sort of sounded neater.....Or maybe I just like
Shmen.....Mooooooooom, we need to talk again.
Total: Evo Calisto wins, 2/1
Apcolypse
Looks: Holy crispy crap, Evo-Ass-man all the way. He's not wearing that friggin gay-ass 'A'on his belt, and he
doesn't have purple on his suit. And less massive 80's shoulder pads....
Goals: Evo-Ass-man, he actually tries to take control of the world, unlike 90's Ass-man who WAITS around for like
two thousand years. All the while spouting speeches on how he's 'as far beyond mutants as they are beyond humans' and
how he 'knows more about this world than we could dream about'........
If he's so friggin evil and smart and god-like, why the FUCK does it take him so long to do anything???
Fag.
Voice: Aww fuck it, they both sound like gomers. I think Evo-Ass-man would have been sooo much cooler
if he hadn't said anything at all, like he was too good to speak to the 'lower' mutants or something.
He would have seemed more god-like too....
Total: Evo-Ass-Man wins
And now we bring you Random Stupid Things
This is SO N's future husband...
St.John staring in...THE FLY
They really do look like oven mitts, just with tentacles....Omega Red is really just a perverted Russian housewife
This is a very old 'in-joke' between me and N, Sabertooth the Girl Scout
And now I leave you with..........
